-1Jessie made her way through the damp grass, pulling her sweater tighter around her. It was an unusually cool morning, which didn't help ease Jessie's mind. She'd had an unsettling sense of foreboding ever since last night when Katie called her asking her to meet her the next day. She wouldn't say why. All she gave Jessie was this location and Jessie had no idea why Katie would want to meet here. Jessie looked around at the graves surrounding her. She'd never been to this cemetery before, but she found it rather peaceful. She looked up and noticed that the sun was finally beginning to peek out of the dissipating clouds. She continued walking until she finally spotted Katie, sitting at a grave with her head down. At that moment, Jessie saw Katie's vulnerability. It was something that Katie didn't have a lot of. She was usually pretty careful about letting her guard down. No one ever saw this side of Katie except for Jessie. Jessie was the only one Katie would allow to see her like this. For a brief moment, Jessie thought Katie looked completely broken down. As if someone had shattered everything that was so good about her. And Jessie grew angry. She wanted to hurt anyone who would break Katie's spirit like that. She slowly approached Katie.

Katie didn't look up, but she knew Jessie was there. She could always sense Jessie's presence. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Hey," replied Jessie. She continued standing, looking at Katie, wondering what was ailing her.

Katie finally looked up and reached out her hand. "Have a seat."

Jessie took her hand and joined Katie on the grass. "Is everything okay? Your phone call kind of worried me."

Katie looked at Jessie. Jessie could tell she had been crying. Her eyes were red and watery.

Jessie took the other girl's hand. "Hey. Whatever it is, it'll be okay. I promise."

The two sat there in silence. Katie put her head up against Jessie's shoulder. Jessie allowed herself to take in the weight of everything Katie was feeling, hoping to ease the other girl's mind a bit.

Katie finally spoke. "So you're probably wondering why I asked you to meet me here."

"Well, the question HAD crossed my mind."

"I wanted to share this with you. This is where I go…to think. This is where I go when I need to get away from everything. This is my brother's grave." Katie gestured to the gravestone they were sitting at. Jessie read the inscription:

Samuel James Singer

Beloved Son, Brother, and Friend

Gone Too Soon, But Never Forgotten

Jessie was in awe. "Oh…oh, wow. I didn't even realize…I mean, I didn't even think of where he would be buried."

Katie nodded. "I wish you could have met him. You would have loved him. And I know he would have loved you."

"He sounds like he was a great kid," Jessie didn't know what else to say. All she could do was hold onto Katie, trying to comfort her.

"He was. Every time I was upset about something, I would just talk to him. And even though he was young, he seemed to understand. And just knowing that he understood me made me feel better. I haven't felt that safe in a long time. Until I met you."

Jessie put her head on Katie's shoulder. "Well, I'm glad I can make you feel safe. And I'm glad you brought me here and shared this with me. I know how painful it is for you."

Katie nodded silently.

Jessie continued. "So is this why you were so upset on the phone? I mean, is that why you're here? Is today the anniversary of his death, or his birthday or something?"

Katie shook her head. "No."

Jessie could feel Katie starting to shake. She didn't know if it was from crying, nervousness, or the cold, but she did her best to keep Katie warm.

Katie continued. "No, I didn't come here for that. I came here to say goodbye to him."

Jessie stared at Katie, trying to make sense of what she just heard. "What?"

"I don't know when I'll be able to come back to see him, so I came to say goodbye to him." At this point, Katie couldn't bring herself to look at Jessie.

"What do you mean?"

Katie began to wipe a tear away. "I'm leaving, Jessie. For three months. I'm gonna be gone for the summer…maybe longer."

"What?!?! You're leaving? And what do you mean by 'maybe longer'?" Jessie couldn't exactly register right away what was being said to her. She was still in denial, hoping it was a dream, or a hallucination.

"This is the hardest thing I've ever had to say to anyone." Katie held onto Jessie's hand even tighter. "My dad's leaving my mom. He told me last night. He's having my mom admitted to a…hospital. Which, I mean…I don't want that, but I know it's best for her. She needs to get help for her depression. But my dad doesn't want to stick around and see her through it. He never wants to stick around. So he's moving…to California. Los Angeles, actually. And he says I have to go with him. I mean, who am I gonna stay with? We have no other family out here."

All Jessie could do was listen, and hope for Katie to use the words "but" or "however."

"We fought. We fought loud and long all last night. I told him I would never go with him to LA. I mean, I still have another year of school left. He didn't see that as a big deal. He couldn't understand why I was so against moving. I didn't tell him about us. I mean, I wanted to, but he just wouldn't understand anyway." Katie looked at Jessie, trying to convey with her eyes that it would be okay. "Jess, I don't want to leave you. At all. Ever. I don't want this. But my father said there's no other way. But --"

Jessie perked up. She had finally heard the word she was waiting for.

"But we came to an agreement. I'd go out there with him for the summer. Stay with him for three months and if my mom is better by then and I want to come back here, he'll allow me to come back."

"Yeah, but three months???" replied Jessie, incredulously. "Katie, I can barely go three hours without you. How could I possibly be apart from you for three months? And what if your mom doesn't get better? What if you like it out there? What if you never come back?"

Katie could hear the desperation in Jessie's voice. Jessie was starting to freak out, so Katie just grabbed onto her and held her.

"Ssshhhhhhh. It's gonna be okay, Jess. I promise. Just calm down. Please. I need you to be calm." She began to slowly rock Jessie, trying to appease her. Jessie's face was buried in Katie's shirt. She was trying to stifle the sound of her crying, but couldn't. It broke Katie's heart hearing Jessie sobbing like that. The younger girl tried to regain her composure. She tried to stay calm simply because Katie asked her to. She pulled away and looked at Katie, while trying to wipe her tears.

"I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting this. I…..," Jessie sighed deeply. "I'm so sorry about your parents. About your mom. I'm sure she's gonna be okay. She just needs time, and rest." Jessie began to feel incredibly selfish about her initial reaction. She hadn't thought of what Katie might be going through.

"Yeah…I'm sure she'll be fine," said Katie, half-heartedly. "Jess, I don't want to leave. I know exactly how you feel. I can't be away from you for more than a day. I think it'll kill me."

"The don't go. Please. Don't leave me," pleaded Jessie.

"I'm not leaving you. I would never leave you. This isn't going to end. We're supposed to be together. Even if we're two thousand miles apart. It doesn't matter. I'm still with you."

"But I won't be able to hold you. I won't be able to touch you," said Jessie, her voice cracking.

Katie couldn't fight her tears any longer upon hearing this. She brought her forehead to Jessie's forehead.

"Listen to me. I will come back to you. I promise. I don't plan on being out there any longer than I have to. And I promise you I will find a way to come back to you. Whether it's three months or three years, I will come back to you. Okay?"

Jessie nodded and then kissed Katie, softly. Both girls taking their time to enjoy this kiss, knowing their time together was more precious now than ever. Who knows how many more chances they had to kiss each other? Katie could taste the salt of Jessie's tears on her lips and a feeling of complete desperation washed over her. She pulled Jessie in tighter, holding on for dear life. Holding onto the one thing she knew was real and comforting in her life.

"What am I going to do without you?" asked Jessie.

"You're not going to be without me. We'll call and email and…I don't know, but we'll still be together," reassured Katie.

"But what if something happens? What if you meet someone else? What if you fall out of love with me?" Jessie knew she was asking too many questions, but this was a very confusing time for her. She was losing the love of her life. Granted, it may only be for three months, but the fact that it may be more, and the fact that everything was so up in the air and unsure, did not help the situation. "I'm sorry. I'm asking too many questions."

"It's okay." Katie kissed Jessie's cheek softly. "Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you really mean all this?" Katie pulled the letter out of her pocket.

"You read my letter?" Jessie flashed a quick smile.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. It was beautiful and it's exactly what I needed to hear. But did you mean it? What you wrote?"

Jessie held Katie's gaze. "Every word."

"Then I need you to start believing in your own words. Because according to this letter, I have no reason to doubt your love for me. And I have no reason to doubt us together. Which means you have no reason to doubt, either. It means you and I will never be apart. We're not meant to be apart."

Katie's words helped ease Jessie's mind a little bit. Jessie nodded.

"I'm keeping this with me. I'll have it on me every day I'm out there," said Katie.

"Okay. Just make sure no one else reads it."

"Oh yeah…about that." Katie put the letter back into her pocket. "Um…Tad kind of knows about us?"

Jessie stared in disbelief. "What?"

"He read the letter."

"He read the letter?!?!?! You showed it to him? Why? Don't you even realize what I put in there? Oh my God--"

"No, Jess. I didn't give it to him. He actually snatched it from my locker and read it BEFORE me. He saw you put it in there and like the dumbass he is, he thought that maybe you wrote something about him in it."

Jessie chuckled. "Wow. He really just doesn't get it, does he?"

"Apparently not."

"So he read the letter."

Katie nodded.

"And he knows that we--"

Katie nodded again.

"And is he…okay with it? I mean, is he mad or anything?"

"He was surprisingly cool with it. A little disappointed, but then he perked up thinking about…well…stupid guy stuff, I guess."

"Ah," Jessie understood what Katie was getting at. "He's not gonna tell anyone, is he?"

"No. He wouldn't do that. He seems pretty happy for us."

"So that's two people who know…and both of them are on our side," stated Jessie. "Well, at least that's some good news. But now back to the problem at hand."

"I hate my father," blurted Katie. She didn't know where that came from. It just came out of her mouth naturally.

"You do? Why?"

"He doesn't care. He's never cared. Even when Sam was really sick, he was never around. Never at the hospital. Never showed any support to us. He didn't want to deal with it. He just runs away. That's what he does. That's what he's doing now and he's taking me down with him and I hate him for it because he's taking me away from you. I don't want to go with him."

"So maybe I can talk to my parents. Maybe you can stay with us for a while," said a hopeful Jessie.

That thought had crossed Katie's mind, too, but she knew it wasn't possible. "My dad would never go for it. And I'm pretty sure your parents wouldn't either. Especially if they knew about us."

"They don't have to know."

Katie didn't know what to say. She was still holding on to Jessie, never wanting pry herself away from her. "This is gonna suck."

Jessie thought for a moment and leaned in to whisper into Katie's ear. "Then I'll come for you. I'll come get you. If you're unhappy out there, I'll take you away. Or I'll come out there and stay with you."

Katie smiled at Jessie's kind offer, but they both knew that wasn't exactly a possibility. Still, it was nice to dream. It was nice to have options…even far-fetched ones.

"Thanks, but I don't see that happening. Not with the way your parents are. I mean they're great, but I know how protective they are of you. Just like me, they don't want anything to happen to you."

The girls kissed once more as they began to feel the warmth of the emerging sun beating down on their necks. Jessie took off her sweater, placed it behind her and lay back on the grass, using it as a pillow. Katie followed suit. They lay there in the grass, their hands interlocked, just soaking up the moment. Soaking up each other.

"Katie?"

"Yeah?"

"When do you leave?"

"In three weeks. Right after school gets out."

"Three weeks." repeated Jessie. "Okay. So are you totally against the idea of me spending every waking moment with you up until then?"

"I'd be heartbroken if you didn't," replied Katie.

"Okay then. Three weeks."

To be continued…..