Disclaimer: As before

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews, especially for the last chapter – I've been wanting to write that one for so long. I thought it was about time they started behaving like grown ups! Oh, and I've probably got the time to write one more chapter before Easter, and whether it's for this one or Against the Odds is entirely up to you. Most reviews wins! (NB, I don't know whether or not you get lucozade in the US, but it's an energy drink – I don't know what a suitable alternative would be.)

After their discussion, Ray carried Neela back into her bedroom, and made up his mind to leave her to sleep. He longed to stay with her, but he didn't want to jeopardise their unexpected progress by doing or saying the wrong thing, and he told her so.

Perching on the edge of the bed, he lovingly tucked the covers up under her chin, then took her hand. 'I don't think I should stay in here tonight.'

'Ray –' Immediately, panic gripped her that her honesty had driven him away. She had been worried that her very stark, very frank words would have been too much for him to take, and now it looked like he was running away, which was just what she had been scared of.

He saw the fear in her eyes, and was quick to set her mind at rest. 'Don't get me wrong, I would love to, but I feel like we've made a pretty big step forward tonight and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. I don't want to crowd you, you need time to think.' His eyes twinkled at her playfully. 'And if I was here, I can guarantee you you wouldn't be capable of thoughts. So reluctantly I am going to kiss you goodnight,' He leant forward, and met her lips in a long and lingering kiss that reassured her even more than his words, 'and leave you to sleep.'

'Thank you Ray.' She could see in his eyes how much it was costing him to walk away, and was grateful for his effort. She wished she didn't have to put him through it, but if they were serious about this, and finally she knew for sure that they were, it was necessary for now. 'I don't know how much point there is in going back to sleep though, I'm meant to be on in a couple of hours.'

'Have you seen your ankle?' he said solicitously. 'You're not going anywhere; you can't walk, there's no way you can go to work, so make the most of the opportunity to get some decent sleep. I'll call you in sick, but I don't expect I'll get away with staying here with you. Will you be able to manage okay on your own?'

'Yes, I'll be fine. Tell Luka I'll be back as soon as I can.'

'I will do. Sleep well, and take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything.' He bent down to give her one last kiss, then made to go.

In the doorway, he turned back to give her a goodbye smile, and as he did so, his eyes flickered of their own accord to the bedside table, focussing on the spot beside the lamp. It was empty; the picture had gone.

He stopped and stared at the space it had previously occupied, wondering what it meant. Had she removed it because she wanted to, because she was ready to, or was it because she didn't want it to come between them so she thought that she ought to? He hoped it was the former, but he suspected it was a combination of the two. She was ready to remove it, but she hadn't realised she was until his reaction had forced her into it.

Neela followed his gaze, although she knew what he was looking for. When she'd woken up and realised he was gone, she had had a feeling the picture had been the cause of his change of heart, and his later admission had only confirmed her suspicions.

'It's over there.' She indicated to a discreet shelf in the corner, where it now stood alongside framed pictures of her graduation, a couple of old family ones and a school one.

Ray looked over to where she pointed.

'It's my "important parts of my past which have made me who I am today" shelf,' she explained. 'I thought it deserved a place there.' She was ready to move it from its place of prominence, but he was still her husband, and if it hadn't been for her marriage, she didn't know if she and Ray would be where they were now. If she hadn't felt compelled to move out, he would never have revealed his feelings to her in order to make her stay, and they would still be living in their little world of longing glances and "accidental" brushes of bodies that had been slowly but surely driving them both crazy. That's why she was holding firm on the picture being on display.

Ray thought about her words, and decided she had summed it up pretty well. 'That sounds about right to me.'

'Good, I wouldn't want it to come between us again.'

He smiled at her, and couldn't resist coming back to her for another kiss. 'It won't, I promise. Not now.'

He left her to herself after that, but didn't bother going back to bed. His shift started at eight and he knew from long experience that having an hour's sleep was worse than none at all. Plenty of black coffee and lucozade, and just battle on through, it was the only way. He called the hospital, and quickly got put through to Luka when he asked for him.

'Luka, its Ray.'

'Hey man, is everything all right?'

'Yep, I was just calling in to say that Neela sprained her ankle yesterday, and it's the size of a football. She can't put any weight on it, so she won't be able to make her shift today.'

'That's okay, without tempting fate, it's looking like its going to be a quiet one, we're practically empty at the moment, so it should be all right. How is she?'

'Not too bad, just stranded with her foot in the air until the swelling goes down. I might bring her in for an x-ray tomorrow if it's still getting worse, but it just looks like a bit of soft tissue damage to me, nothing too serious.'

'Not a bad way to get a few days off then,' Luka chuckled. 'Are you still good to come in?'

'Yes, if you need me. She could do with the help, but she's not so bad that I can't leave her.' He ached to stay at home with her, to make her tea and cook her food and carry her from bed to sofa, and back to bed again, but he didn't feel that he could leave the hospital in the lurch and he had promised to give her some space.

'Well, I'd like you to come in, I can't really afford to be down two of you, then if it's still dead, you can go early. Deal?'

'Thanks Luka, sounds good. I'll see you in a bit.'

Ray placed the phone back in the cradle and began to tidy up around the place. In the lounge, her still wet clothes lay in a heap on the floor not far away from where he'd left the medical kit. He remembered those intimate moments in the lamplight with a thrill. He'd never felt as close to anyone in his life as he had to her while he had been kneeling before her, dressing her wounds. He had wanted that moment to last forever.

It hadn't, of course, and now they had talked, had a proper conversation about what was happening, he felt more encouraged about their future, but that night had been pure magic, the sort he knew he would look back at in years to come as, unrivalled, the most romantic and passionate moment of his life. Nothing could ever surpass that. And whatever came of all this, he would treasure it for as long as he lived.

By the time he arrived at work, he had just about managed to pull himself out of his reverie, and back into the real world. It had taken the entire drive to do so, and he had done it regretfully. In the eyes of the real world, Neela was eagerly awaiting Gallant's return and he was just a pathetic, moping loser who was in mad, unrequited love with his married roommate. Only Abby had the slightest clue of anything to the contrary. Every day he had to keep the pretence up took a little more effort than the last.

As he walked through the doors, he saw straight away that Luka had been right, it was every bit as quiet as he had told him. Almost everyone who was on were gathered around the admit desk, eating doughnuts, drinking coffee and killing time. He always hated shifts like these, and he hated them even more so these days, when spare time meant he had to be constantly on guard from Morris's vulgar enquiries (he still hadn't quite forgotten those scratches, although Ray had been a lot more careful since then about who was in the locker room when he was getting changed) and Pratt's concerned questions about Neela's state of mind regarding her absent husband. What he wouldn't give for a decent trauma.

'Barnett,' Morris called out. 'Come on in and join the party.' He held out the tray of doughnuts.

Ray put on his best happy face to avert suspicion and took the proffered food, hoping the sugar rush would wake him up a bit. 'Is it that quiet?'

'Two drunks sleeping off a skinful, one mild flu, one in for observation after an asthma attack and a guy who had some glass in his hand after a bar room brawl waiting for his brother to come and pick him up,' Pratt replied.

Ray gave him an astonished look. It hadn't been that quiet in here in… ever. 'You're kidding me.'

'Nope, straight up, sorry. You'd better kick back and enjoy the fun.'

Ray stifled his groan and sat down. He got to spend the day with Gallant's best mate and the most irritating buffoon known to emergency medicine while Neela was lying at home in bed…He shut off his mind and refused to allow himself to explore that route. It was too frustrating.

Before he became too settled, Luka took him aside, and added to his misery. 'I'm off in an hour but I've told Morris that if it's still dead at lunchtime, he's to let you go. I –' Luka let his eyes slide away, not certain of how Ray would take his insinuation, but sure enough of his ground to make it. 'I didn't say anything about Neela, I didn't want to… encourage the gossips.' He chose his words delicately.

The younger doctor looked up at him sharply. 'What are you impl –'

'It doesn't matter what I'm implying, as long as I keep it to myself, does it?' Dark Croatian eyes steadily met Ray's angry glare.

'Is that a threat?'

'No Ray, it's a "please be careful". You're on very dangerous ground. So far you and Neela have done extremely well in keeping the lid on this, and keeping it out of the hospital. But if I've noticed, in time, others will too.'

Ray knew he was going to have to come clean. At least it was Luka, not anyone else. He could be trusted not to breathe a word, for the good of the team if not for his and Neela's sakes.

'Did Abby tell you?'

He shook his head. 'No, please give her a little more credit than that. I've had my suspicions for a while, and when I came on yesterday, Kerry told me Neela had been late in, and that you had covered for her, and that she had been in a mess all day. I guessed it was something to do with you. And there have been other things as well, insignificant moments, but added together… And when I asked Abby about it, she refused to comment, which confirmed it for me.'

Ray hung his head. He was ashamed of what they were doing, just not enough to make him stop. 'Please Luka, just don't say anything.'

'I won't, but don't you think it would be a good idea for you guys to knock it off? Her husband is due home in what now, a few weeks? She can move into Abby's in the meantime to save you from the awkwardness…' He couldn't finish when he saw the look in Ray's eyes. It was pure agony, and he knew it only too well.

Every time he'd seen Abby with Carter, back all those years ago now, that same pain had been in his heart. The anguished, torturous feeling of wanting to step back, to forget your feelings ever existed in order to do the right thing, but knowing beyond all doubt that it was impossible to do so.

'Oh God, that bad?' he asked sympathetically.

'Worse,' Ray admitted quietly.

Luka knew there was nothing he could say. He put a comforting hand briefly on his shoulder. 'Good luck.'

'Thanks.'

Luka left him and Ray had no choice but to turn back to the admit desk, where a lively discussion ensued between Morris, Pratt and a couple of porters about whether domineering or submissive women were better in bed.

Even though the conversation disgusted him, and he would have rather been a million miles away (or even just in a certain apartment halfway across town), from his hearty laugh and the nonchalantly offered opinion he gave, they never guessed that he felt like he was dying inside.