I recently received a review from Dead Composer asking me if I could kill this companion. Tempting as the idea was, I decided instead to give her the fate that she deserved...
"HOW ARE YOU TODAY, MISS BUSH?" shouted Mr Green, the baker. Melanie Bush just smiled and gave a thumbs-up. It was at this moment that a male customer named James approached Mr Green.
"Do you have to shout like that?" James said.
"If I want to talk to Miss Bush, then yes," replied Mr Green. "Poor thing's deaf as a doorknob. She's rather easily shocked, you see, and ended up sending herself deaf from her own scream."
"Wow. Poor thing," said James. Feeling sorry for her, he turned to Mel and patted her on the shoulder.
"Hello there," he said. "My name's James."
"WHAT?" screamed Mel. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" James cleared his throat.
"MY NAME'S JAMES!" he yelled back.
"NICE TO MEET YOU, JAMES!" replied Mel just as loud. James forced a smile towards the woman, trying not to show that his ears were now ringing. He leaned forwards to talk to Mr Green.
"No offence to her, but how do you put up with it?" he murmured. Mr Green scratched the back of his head.
"To tell you the truth, she alwayswas a bit loud," he admitted. James nodded and paid for his bread. However, as he opened the door he heard a tremendous crash. This was followed by the sound of hundreds of car alarms going off at the same time. Though James hadn't seen exactly what had happened, he could have sworn he saw a UFO. He closed the door, and turned to see that Mr Green was clutching his ears. James proceeded to do the same.
"What the he-" James began, but he realised to his horror that he couldn't hear himself. "MR GREEN, I THINK I'VE GONE DEAF!"
"WHAT?" cried Mr Green.
"WHAT?" echoed James.
"WHAT?" cried Mel.
For New Whovians - Mel was a companion of the Sixth and Seventh Doctors. She had a very loud, very annoying scream.
I know Mel stayed with Glitz, but I'm going with the idea that she was eventually returned to Perivale.
I hope this was okay, and that I haven't pissed all you Mel-haters off with her inclusion in this story.
