A/N: Okay so this chapter will probably bring about a whole lot of emotions for you guys...so let me just say that this is all part of my plan. Leddie is the final destistation so remember that before you feel the end to send me nasty personal messages. I get way too many of those after each update and its becoming annoying. I understand that you want a happily ever after for Leddie, I do too. But if I just put them together, it wouldn't be a good story. Every good love story has twists and turns and bumps along the way. I love that you guys are so pasionate about this story but some of the PMs are mean and they do hurt my feelings. I love reviews and I love to hear your thoughts on the story but please refrain for the name calling...its really not necesary. The reviews, favorites ,and follows really do make it so much more inspiring to right this story so please keep it up.
Special shout out to Marirosa for helping me out with a certain scene in this update. I would be lost without you :) Thank you so much :)
As always, the only thing I own is the plot line...everything else belongs to the mean people who won't give us a season 2 :(
Oh and one last thing...I didn't proof this. I meant to but I got busy and then I thought about waiting til tomorrow to post but I knew that people would come after me with pitch forks so here it is un-proofed so please forgive any and all mistakes.
Enjoy, review :)
EDDIE POV
Ten minutes after the fact and I still couldn't get the image of that jerk's lips on Loren's out of my mind. Even when I reminded myself that Loren didn't engage in the kiss, I couldn't stop the anger from bubbling up inside of me. Loren pulled back from the kiss after about two seconds but in my opinion it was two seconds too long. She never should have let that creep's lips anywhere near hers. I was doing my best not to meet her eyes but I could tell that she was looking at me, judging my reaction.
I don't know what exactly Loren Tate expected from me. I had no clue what my place with her was supposed to be. It was obvious that our earlier conversation outside made her feel better, but it hadn't me. The fact that she used the past tense in regards to her feelings for me made me feel worse than ever. Maybe it was selfish , or self-destructive, but I wanted her to still love me. I wanted for her to want a future with me. Because, being completely honest, I wanted a future with her.
I was a jerk. Plain and simple. What else could I be for wanting to be with someone other than my girlfriend? Of course my girlfriend was a liar and cheater, but it still didn't change the fact that I shouldn't be wanting a relationship with someone else when I am still officially in a relationship with her. Casting my eyes in Chloe's direction, across the room in a heated discussion with Adrianna, it me that I wasn't nearly as hurt by the fact that she cheated on me with that punk Tyler as I probably should be. I am mad as hell that she made me look like a full but wasn't broken hearted over it. So between the longing for Loren and the fact that I was mad rather than hurt about Chloe's cheating it was obvious that whatever I once felt for the blonde was gone. Now all I had to do was end it officially. I wasn't looking forward to that part. There was no doubt in my mind that Chloe would have a fit.
"Eddie."
While I was focused on Chloe, Loren had come up to me. He looked over at her as she stood next to my chair. " What." I didn't mean to be so short with her but that kiss between her and Cameron throw me off course.
"What's wrong?" She bent down so that she was more comfortably at my level.
I hate that people have to bend down to talk to me. They have to make themselves more uncomfortable in order to have a face to face conversation with me. Annoyance joined my anger as it bubbled around inside of me. " Nothing. What could possibly be wrong?"
She pushed her hair behind her ears, " Why are you being like this with me. I though that we were good now."
Of course she did. Because she didn't understand that every time she is near me, everytime I smell the vanilla scent of her perfume, I want to pull her even closer and ravage her with my lips. She didn't understand that I needed to touch her, even just if it was her hand, in order to feel some sort of peace with all these emotions circling around inside of me. She couldn't understand that all I wanted right now, in this moment, was for her and I to be more than just friends. But she wouldn't ever know those things because she said it herself. She loved me. Past tense. She was over me and whatever heartbreak I had caused her. I wouldn't be the jerk who refused to let her move on. How could I be when I couldn't even remember anything about the time we spent together? It wouldn't be fair. And though everything in me wanted to be selfish and beg her to give us a chance, I wouldn't because it wasn't fair. "We are good. "
"Then why won't you look at me."
Busted. I had taken a page from her book and found a spot on the wall to concentrate on so that I wouldn't have to meet her chocolate colored orbs. Now though, I had no choice. I let my eyes look with hers and the hurt I saw there was like a punch to the gut. God, why couldn't I stop hurting this girl. " I'm looking at you."
"But you are angry. I can tell because your fists are clenthched so tight they are turning purple. " She reached over and pried my fingers from where the nails were biting into the skin on my palms. We both looked at the impressions that my fingernails left in my skin. It looked painful but I couldn't feel it. She used her finger to slowly massage the indentations . "Better?"
I nodded because the thickness in my throat wouldn't allow me to speak just yet. I wish I could put into words what the girl, this amazing girl did to me. The things that she made me feel were foreign to me yet I welcomed them because they were new and exciting and made something deep inside of me come alive.
"Are you mad at me?" The worry in her voice was evident enough to make me meet her eyes with a frown.
" No. Why would I be mad at you, Loren?"
She bit the corner of her lip and I had to snap my lips together so that I wouldn't drool. Her action was crazy sexy. Even if she didn't mean it to be and if this wasn't the time or place. "Because Cameron kissed me. Because Phil hugged me. "
So maybe I was easier to read than I liked to think. Or maybe she just knew me too well. "Why would I be mad at you because they put thier dirty paws and lips on you. " She shrugged her shoulders and I let out a sigh. " I am not mad at you Loren. But I am jealous."
"Seriously?" She arched her eyebrows and gave me a look that said I must be crazy.
I nodded. " I don't like them touching you. " I couldn't believe that it popped out of my mouth like that but there it was in the middle of us now. I couldn't and wouldn't take it back because it was the truth and at this point I didn't feel like it would cause much more tension.
She smiled sweetly and that stirring in my belly become active once again. " It was a dare Eddie. Nothing more. And Phil and I have known each other practically our whole lives."
She was right, I knew that , but I still hadn't liked that they both had thier hands on her. I wanted to be the only one allowed to have that privilge. I leaned my head closer to her and whispered my next words because despite the fact that most of our friends were conversing in thier own little groups, I didn't want to be overheard. " I want to be the only guy touching you."
She definitely wasn't expecting that if the way her eyes dialted was any indication. I would never get tired of surprising her. She always had the reactions that not only made my self esteem excel but made me even more convinced that whatever I felt for this girl in my past was well deserved on her part. " You can't say stuff like that to me, Eddie."
" Why not , Loren" I gave her a sexy little smirk as I accenuated her name. Flirting with her was probably the most fun I have had in a good little while. Especially when her cheeks turned three different shades of red like they were doing right now. It was indescribably adorable.
Her eyes moved to the blonde that I had yet to deal with. " Because you still have a girlfriend and you aren't that guy who flirts with another girl while he has girlfriend. " She moved her hand away from mine and stood up. " I need to go talk to Mel. I will talk to you later?"
I nodded once and instead of watching her walk away, I turned my eyes back on Chloe who was still talking to Adrianna on the other side of the room. If I had to guess I was say rather than talking she was scolding the younger, very pregnant girl. Obviously for letting the perverbial cat out of the bag about the text spoof thing. Of course Chloe wouldn't take responsibility for her own actions. " Chloe." I said loud enough to make everyone stop thier own various conversations. She turned towards me and gave me a big smile. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes at how quickly she could turn off and on her personalities. The fact that I couldn't see the real Chloe Carter sooner really grated on my nerves. " You and I need to talk. Meet me in my room."
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" So what are you saying exactly, Eddie? " Right on cue, the tears started falling from Chloe's eyes. She came into my room less than five minutes ago thinking that I wanted to cuddle or make out but when she leaned in to kiss me and I backed my chair up, she realized that I wasn't in the mood for either. I was straight with her and blurted out that we couldn't keep pretending and now she was playing the martyr. Right on cue.
"I am saying that you and I haven't been happy for a very long time. "
She started vigoriously shaking her head back and forth, " thats not true. I am happy, Eddie. I love you."
" So much so that you jumped into bed with Tyler Roarke." The anger was back in my voice. Not because I was hurt but because she lied to me and played me for a fool for God knows how long.
Sitting down on the edge of my bed, she let out a puff of annoyance. " I already explained that to you. We already worked past this."
No she worked passed this with the old Eddie. The Eddie that I can't remember being right now. He seemed to be a far guy from the angry, bitter person that I was today. " This is not just about Tyler or all the lies you have told me. This is about the fact that my feelings for you have changed. " Hurting her, making her feel bad wasn't my objective here. I just wanted to make her understand that we were no longer going to be in a relationship. " I am not comfortable being your boyfriend right now."
" This is about Loren Tate, isn't it. " She angrily wiped away her tears and stood back up. " I knew that when she came back here she would ruin everything. Just like she did before."
It was me shaking my head this time. It wasn't about Loren. Partly, a tiny little part, was because of my feelings for Loren , but largely this was due to the fact that I didn't trust Chloe anymore. I couldn't count on the fact that she was telling me the truth about anything. Ending the relationship was best for a lot of reasons , actually. Including the fact that kissing Chloe, holding her hand, just generally spending time with her, didn't excite me the way that it should. " This has nothing to do with Loren. It has to do with the way that I feel about you. About us."
" How do you feel?"
This was the part that was going to hurt her. I didn't want that but I had to be honest. " Do you remember a couple of weeks back when you went away on that modeling job and forgot your phone?" At her nod, I continued. " You and I didn't talk once in the whole time you were gone. That should have bothered me. I should have missed you. But the truth is , Chloe that I didn't."
The hurt that ebbed into her eyes was instantous. It was something I hadn't wanted to do but she wouldn't leave me any other choice. Chloe wasn't one to take no for an answer. Recent behavior also showed me that she was looking to blame Loren for anything and everything that she could. So it had to be crystal clear to her that I am not breaking up with her to be with Loren. I am doing it because its overdue and its time for both of us to cut our losses and move on. "Wow."
She didn't deserve to be hurt but she also didn't deserve for me to keep pretending that things were good between us when they haven't been for a long time. " I'm sorry. I just can't keep pretending like things are the same as they always have been when they aren't." I moved my chair closer to where she was standing so that i could take her hand. She let me. " I will always care about you, Chloe. I just don't love you anymore."
The tears were back. I hated making girls cry. It made me feel like the scum of the earth.
" I am not trying to be a jerk, Chloe. I just want to be honest with you. I am not happy with you anymore."
" But...but you said you love me. " She said as she laced our fingers together.
She just wasn't going to make this easy at all. " I do love you , Chloe. A part of me will always love you. But I am not in love with you. In all honestly, I don't even know if I know what it means to be in love anymore. I just know that when I think about my future, you aren't in it. "
Harsh, yes. But it was necessary. She pulled her hand away from mine and took a couple of steps back towards the door. " I can't believe you are doing this to me. "
"I am not doing it to you Chloe. I am doing it for you. "
She narrowed her blue eyes at me. " That doesn't make any sense."
" Yes it does. I am saving you from being in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be in it. From someone who will just continue to go through the motions because it is what is expected not because he wants to hold your hand or kiss you. "
" How long have you just been going through the motions as you call it?"
This part was gonna hurt. To admit it was admitting that I was a bigger jerk than anyone thought and to hear it would likely break her heart. " Since I woke up from the coma. " Her face paled but I had to get it all out. I had to let her know the truth. " What they say about being in a coma hearing what you are saying is the truth. Well kind of any way. I heard everything that was said that day. I can't remember anything for the rest of the time I was unconscious. " I can remember my Pop begging me to wake up and telling me that so many people were missing me. I can remember Chloe telling me that she loved me and couldn't wait for me to wake up so we could finish planning our wedding. And I can remember the sounds of Loren crying as she sat by my bedside. Shaking off the thoughts of Loren before they could consume me, I concentrated on Chloe and what had to be done. " I heard you talking about how much you loved me and missed me. How we had so much to do before we got married. "
" You have been pretending all this time?" Her words were angry. I couldn't blame her though. I was a jerk. But then again..she wasn't completely innocent either. But we were beyond that now.
" I have. I didn't want to hurt you."
" You are hurting me now."
That much was clear, but I couldn't help it. " I really am sorry, Chloe. "
She ignored my apology and held up her hand. Her left, hand where the sparkling diamond mocked me. " Did you love me when you gave me this?"
" I don't know. " It was the truth. " I don't remember the proposal , Chloe. You know that."
She nodded, " Yes I do. I also know that you did love me before the accident. You were going to marry me. If you would just give me the chance, I can make you love me again."
Make me love her? She really just wasn't understanding this at all. " Chloe, you can't make someone love you. They either do or they don't. I don't. I'm sorry."
She didn't say anything for a couple of minutes and my words hung in the air between us. It was tense and uncomfortable but despite that I knew that I did the right thing. We couldn't go on like this anymore. Even before today, before I found out about Tyler and all the stuff with Loren, I was planning to end things. It was the right thing to do. Sooner or later, Chloe would see that. I hope.
Finally deciding that the silence had stretched out long enough, Chloe cleared her throat. " So I guess there is nothing else to say. Well except that you will be sorry Eddie. No one will ever love you like I do." And with that in typical Chloe fashion, she opened the door to my bedroom and stalked out.
I should probably feel bad. Maybe cry a little bit or something. Instead all I felt was relieved. It was done and over with. Using my arm controls, I moved towards the far side of the room where my favorite musical intrument sat. It had been weeks since I picked it up. It was a gift from my father. One I didn't remember even recieving as he gave it to me on my birthday. A day I couldn't remember. I didn't even bother to pick it up. It wouldn't do any good anyway. Music wasn't coming as easily as it used to. I would piddle around with it until I got frustrated and then I would set it back down and not even look at it for weeks. It was always the same. More than anything right now I wanted to just take a drive.
Just as the thought about taking a drive entered my mind a crushing pain did as well. I closed my eyes and my hands feel up to grasp my head as a flash of memory bombarded me.
"How about that birthday dinner, huh?" My dad's voice was slightly amused, slightly annoyed as he said the words. We were in his place. Well his old place, above the club. I couldn't make out much about our surroundings other than that but the conversation was ringing in my ears.
"Yeah"
"Sorry it all kinda fell apart at the end."
"Nah, didn't fall apart. It ended nicely."
"What? What did I miss?"
"Nothing. Loren and I ended up going for a drive."
"A drive?"
"YES"
"Come on, you've got to stay professional with this girl."
"I am. We are."
"So you were out at this hour talking about business?"
" I can't help it. I'm falling for her."
Just as quickly as the pain and the memory came, they disappeared. I wanted the memory back. I wanted to remember everything about that night. Not just the conversation with my dad, I wanted the dinner and the drive, all of it. And I didn't just want to remember the conversation. I wanted the whole entire memory to present itself to me. I wanted to see what I was wearing, where I was sitting, what I was eating. All of it. Every part. But as hard as I tried, it wouldn't come back. It was gone.
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CHLOE'S POV
Eddie would be sorry. He would realize that I am the best thing that has ever happened to him and he will come crawling back to me on his hands and knees. I will make him beg of course, but its what he deserves. But I will take him back because I love him and I need him.
I slammed his bedroom door as I left him alone and made my way down the hallways towards the livingroom. All the little teenagers were sitting around the tv engrossed in a movie. All except Loren of course. The little twit had her eyes glued to the hallway and saw me the minute that I came back into the room. There was no way for me to hide the fact that I had been crying. I am sure that the evidence was all over my face which meant that she knew exactly what was going on in that room. She knew that Eddie was ending things with me and just like before she would be more than happy to take my place in his life.
No way was that going to happen. It was time for me to let little Miss Perfect in on a couple of things. I was about to blow her little fantasy world apart. " Loren, can I talk to you for a minute?"
She nodded and stood up. I grabbed my purse off the hook just inside the front door. " You can walk me out. I am leaving. "
She simply nodded and followed me out being sure to close the door behind herself when we stepped outside. " What do you want to talk about?"
" I am sure you already know that Eddie just broke up with me." She started to say something to me, but I held my hand up to stop her. I really didn't want to hear anything the little princess had to say. " I am not going to fight him on it. But there is something that you should know. " I didn't give her a chance to ask me what it was. I pulled my purse off my shoulder and pulled out a little white stick. I held it up so that she could see the top of it. Just like I expected , her face turned whiter than normal.
"Is that what I think it is?"
I nodded, " yes. Loren, I am pregnant. I am carrying Eddie's baby."
