Remember
Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent, it's characters, it's quotes, etc. Thank you Veronica Roth for your stories, for they are my favorite distraction.
Rated M for language, adult situations, Mr. Vega, etc...
Chapter Twelve
The rest of the morning seems to pass without incident. People leave me out of the conversation for the most part, and no one seems to question my terse and vague answers. My attention remains focused on Tris almost the entire time, trying to figure out if it's me or something else at the source of… well, whatever this is that's happening. She won't look at me at all.
By quarter to noon, all the fittings are done and people are starting to leave. Tris excuses herself to go to the bathroom before I even get out of my seat, so I end up waiting awkwardly near the front entry, wanting to see if we could talk.
However, this proves to be the worst place to wait, as Nita makes her way over to me. "Hey, stranger," she says brightly, trying to engage, but I say nothing. "What do you have going on today?"
I shrug. "Still in the process of figuring that out."
Her eyes light up. "Well, I could definitely help with that."
I frown at her. "Thanks, but I know how to take care of myself."
Her eyes blatantly roam my body, making my face go red. "I can see that." She smirks up at me, her lips puckered in what she must assume to be a sexy expression but comes across as ridiculous to me.
"Could you not?" I ask, exasperated. I don't have the time or patience for games.
"I was just agreeing with you," she says innocently, reaching out to touch my arm, but I move before she makes contact.
"I don't like people touching me."
She pouts, her brown eyes actually clouding with fake tears. "Well, that's no fun."
I'm shaking my head, unbelievably irritated. "I don't do things just because they're 'fun.' Now, this is where I say goodbye," I say flatly as I walk away, leaving her in the entry. Thankfully, Will and a few others are still in the dining room, so if Nita decides to come back around, I'll hopefully have someone able to discourage her.
Will introduces me again to his sister, Cara, who's one of the bridesmaids. She's been friends with Susan for years, from college, and Will got volunteered to fill a space for the groomsmen. She, thankfully, has tact and doesn't eye me, making me feel like a piece of meat dangling in front of a pack of wolves. She's quite intelligent, in a way like she can't help the knowledge pouring out of her brain off her tongue, but it never feels intentional.
As we're talking, I hear an angry Christina yell, "Don't you dare walk out that door, Tris!"
I'm moving without thinking, walking towards the front entry. I see a blonde mane of hair disappear towards the front entry and follow, not even needing Christina to tell me where she's going.
As I get out the front door, I see she's already at the bottom of the steps, heading to the right to start walking to who knows where.
"Tris!" I see her shoulders tense. know she heard me, but she won't turn around. "Tris! Wait!" She makes no effort to even slow down, and it takes me jogging to catch her, grabbing her arm to pull her to a stop. "Hey, Tris, what's going on?"
She doesn't even turn to look at me right away, and when she does, I almost flinch. Her eyes are red, like she had been crying, and she's looking at me like it pains her. "I have somewhere to be, I-I-"
"Then let me drive you," I offer simply, not letting her stammer out an excuse.
She flounders for a second before she gets out, "I can't trouble you, I really-"
"Nonsense. It's no trouble. Besides, I've been trying to find a moment to talk to you all morning, so if I have to go for a drive to make it happen, I don't mind."
She doesn't respond for a long time, just stares at me. When she does, her voice is small. "Tobias, I don't think that's a good idea."
My heart plummets and I feel like the world will swallow me up any second. While I had considered doing the same thing earlier, distancing myself out of fear of what I'm capable of, now that she's suggesting it, it's too painful to consider, especially if it's because of something I did.
"And why is that?" I ask, not able to keep the intensity out of my response.
She shakes her head, averts her eyes, unwilling to tell me. What she does say is, "It'll be better this way."
I narrow my eyes at her. "Okay, let me tell you what's not going to happen: You're not going to just shut me out, giving me the cold shoulder without an explanation. You don't just get to go from hot to cold without a reason."
She looks like I slapped her, wild eyes and fire ready to be spit at me. "Excuse me?"
I look her pointedly in the eye, a whirlwind of emotion driving me forward without hesitation. "You heard me. You are going to tell me whatever it is that makes you think you shutting me out and wiping your hands clean is going to 'be better.'"
Her eyes flash agrily. "Are you trying to tell me what I can and cannot do, like I'm some child, Tobias? Who do you think you are?" she rages.
I would cower, with the intensity her gaze holds, except I know, I know this isn't really about me. I can see it in her eyes, she's deflecting. Even without Christina's warning I can see waves of pain crashing through her body and her mind is just trying to stop it. So, when I answer her, I keep my voice level and under control and my own temper in check."Yeah, I am, because I'm a person, Tris. If you want me to leave, if you have a problem with me, you tell me. You know how you asked me to be completely honest with you? Well, I'm asking you to at least give me a good reason before you toss me aside like I'm nothing."
My emotions are growing dangerously close to overwhelming, bleeding into my voice as I continue to speak to her. "I mean, this morning, everything seemed to be fine, and then when I show up here, you're drunk and you won't hardly look at me! Hell, you wouldn't even talk to Christina!"
I have to stop for a second, so I can calm down and speak civilly. "Look, I know I'm not the best guy by a long shot... I can be a total asshole, I'm insensitive, I'm a shit friend, but Jesus, Tris, even I feel like this is coming out of left field!"
She doesn't say anything, just bites her lip. Not in the adorably sexy sort of way I've started to fall for, but in the conflicted, tormented sort of way that makes my chest ache.
"Tris, please, just say something." When she shakes her head, anger flares up in my chest. I want to scream out of frustration. "That's just great, Tris. You're not even going to say anything to me? Am I that much of a piece of shit in your eyes? Thanks, it's nice to know," I say, looking pointedly at her. If that's what she thinks, I need to hear it from her.
She laughs a little, and though I can see sadness in her eyes, her face twists up angrily. I don't even have time to prepare for it before she focuses it on me. "You want me to tell you? Fine." She crosses her arms across her chest, facing me square on as her eyes burn into mine. Something about the fire in them lights up her face, and even though now is the worst possible timing, I'd give anything to kiss her; to reach out towards the flames in hopes it's enough to warm me, but not scorch me.
"It's not a good idea for us to continue… whatever this is and whatever happened last night. I was fooling myself into believing that things like this work out," she says, gesturing between us. "The thing is, they don't. You'll go home back to your life and forget all about plain old Tris from the plane, and you'll find someone that suits your taste a little better, who you won't have to finesse so much, and-"
"Okay, what the hell are you talking about?" I interrupt because either she drank a hell of a lot more than she let on, or she somehow became very disillusioned in the time since we kissed.
"Don't play stupid, Tobias," she snaps, turning away from me a little. "You don't have to be ashamed or secretive about making friends while here. I'm not your girlfriend. You don't have to ask permission. You're not doing anything wrong, going out with someone you like, so don't make me feel guilty by looking at me like you're missing out. You already have your free pass. Take it and spare me from having to be sloppy seconds!"
I feel so lost, I could scream, and she's so angry, she's can't be articulating well, either, because she's not making an ounce of sense to me. Her words come out slurred, stumbled over, and rambling, though they technically make sense , but I have no idea what she could possibly be talking about. "You're going to have to remind me of whatever brought this on, because I really have no idea what you're talking about."
She bites her lips to try and muffle the scream of frustration that rips from her chest, pacing the sidewalk as she fumes. "Why do you insist on torturing me?" she groans.
"Torturing you? You're the one who went flying out the front door without even talking to me once this morning, wanting me to just leave for no goddamn reason, Tris! How am is it that I am torturing you?" I demand.
She shakes her head, whispering a faint, "You're unreal," under her breath. She seems lost in her thoughts for a minute, trying to figure out what to say. "You don't even have the decency to admit Nita caught your eye?"
I don't even have words, so I just stare at her. Have I not been trying to keep that woman as far away from me as possible this entire morning?
But Tris carries on before I can even comment. "You don't have to lie, Tobias, I get it! She's tall, curvy, beautiful, sexy… everything I'm not, so I get the picture. You don't- I'm not some- ughh! I don't need your sympathetic attention! I'm okay with being average and nothing special. I'm used to being overlooked, because at least it doesn't hurt like getting ditched for an upgrade does!" she spits out before she spins around and takes off walking again.
Her words feel like a slap to the face, but I remember Christina's comment about Jameson bringing out this side of Tris, so I try to overlook it. Besides, this girl seems to have forgotten that we kissed and that I only have eyes for her. I know enough, though, that fighting with her on the street isn't going to solve anything, as much as I want to get to the bottom of this right now.
Instead, I'm resigned to catch and stop her, pulling her so that she's standing in front of me. "Tris, listen to me, please," I start, gently. "I don't know what you heard or saw that gave you that impression, but I can tell you, there is only one girl I have even the faintest ray of interest in, and she's doing everything in her power to try and push me away right now. So, excuse me if I call bullshit on whatever it is you're really trying to do here.
"So here's what's going to happen, and yes, I am telling you what to do, because this is not going to be how we 'end' things." I can hear the desperation edging it's way into my tone. I know she can hear it, but I don't care about the picture it paints so long as she hears what I'm trying to say. "You're going to forget that Nita even exists, because in this equation, she doesn't. You're going to sober up and remember what happened yesterday in your dining room. You're going to think about what you want and how you feel, and then when we talk next, that's what you'll tell me. Not what you think I want or I feel, because I haven't told you yet, so you don't know. You don't have to believe a word I say right now if you don't want, but you don't get to just walk away. Not yet."
She just stares at me, at a loss for words, so I continue as if that's an agreement. "I have to finish up paperwork before a meeting I have, but I don't really have anything else going on today. Can we meet up tonight?"
She stares so long at me without any sign of movement or response, I almost feel like she's going to say no. It's several minutes before she slowly nods. "After dinner with my parents, it'd be okay."
I nod slowly, feeling a little relieved. "Okay." I want to hug her, to hold her against me, because now that I know what being close to her is like, being apart feels like madness. I'm not inclined to enjoy it, seeing as I have more madness than I can already handle. "I have to go for now, but I'll text you when I'm done with my meetings. Then we can grab coffee or something. Okay?" All she does is nod once before she turns and walks away, and I watch her go until she's out of sight.
I don't get to turn around before a flustered Christina joins me. "Care to share what all that was about?" she asks, and I vaguely note that she's just as worried as I am. Even if I've only known Tris for a couple of days, she matters to me, and I care for her deeply.
I recount everything that we exchanged, and by the end of it, Christina is shaking her head like a disappointed mother would when her child made a dumb choice. "I swear, that girl-"
"-isn't going to get away with it, so don't worry," I finish for her, not needing to hear what I already know, having just witnessed a glimpse of it. She relaxes a bit and nods. "Whatever it is, I will figure it out. Like it or not, she's got me invested. I don't make friends easily, so I sure as hell am not just letting her waltz off on a miscommunication."
Christina smirks, which eases some of the tension that has built up again. "Friends. Hm, that's one word for it."
I shake my head, though amused this time. "Yeah, yeah, save it for when she's not calling herself plain."
She lets out a low growl-like sound. "Tris is so goddamn blind sometimes, it makes me crazy! Did she not notice the fucking goo-goo eyes half the guys were shooting at her?!"
"Hm, well, I did," I grunt, not at all happy about the way I saw many of the guys look her up and down every chance they got when she would walk away, like her body was their last meal and they we're ready to feast.
Christina tries to hold back a smug look but does a pretty terrible job at it. "I bet you did," she teases. I roll my eyes at her, but I don't say anything. "It was hard to miss. How that girl doesn't see it-"
My face heats up as I interrupt her with, "Is it really that obvious?"
She smirks. "To me, yes, but I'm Trissy's best friend." I cringe at the nickname. I don't find it to suit her at all. Christina scowls at me, but all I do is shrug. "It's what I called her when we were kids. It just stuck, okay?"
"No judgement. She calls me Four." I throw my hands up in surrender for good measure.
"Yeah, see, you don't get to talk, Four." It's my turn to scowl. I think I might only like being called that by Tris… That thought is interrupted by Christina continuing her original thought. "Anyway, to everyone else, it's obvious you two know each other, but with the way Tris was behaving today, it would have made it harder for other people to realize what's happening between you two."
I'm not sure if I feel relieved or disappointed. It's not like me to be showy about my personal life, but at the same time, I want everyone to know she's the only person I'm interested in, especially when the likes of Nita are around.
At the same time, I can't deny I'm mortally terrified she's going to be adamant about us going our separate ways. I'm sure other than the wedding, of course, but… oh God, that'd be worse.
I can just see it now: seeing Tris the night of the wedding, dressed beautifully, I'm sure, but being limited to escorting her down the aisle; seeing her, but knowing that would be the last time I ever would; seeing her and being reminded that she's the only person I've ever wanted, and the only person I have ever been able to see a future with, even if that future hasn't defined itself yet. It's not even just attraction. It's her friendship, and the way it has already made me better. Even in just the small moments, that speaks volumes. The idea of losing that, of losing her, terrifies me.
Because now that I've had a few tastes of it, I'm afraid I've already been hooked.
"Christina, what if she really doesn't want to do this? What if she doesn't think it's worth it and she doesn't-"
"Oh… my God, you sound exactly like her! Well, except… uh, for lack of a more appropriate word, manly." She shakes her head, like she's in shock. "It's kind of scary, but at the same time, in this scenario, that happens to be quite helpful for me. I know how to handle a Stiff."
I'm not sure I like that nickname either, but she is trying to help me, so I let it slide. "So, what does that mean?" I try to ask as patiently as I can.
"It means you have nothing to worry about. Between sleep deprivation and the alcohol consumption, of course she spilled everything. I mean, she hadn't even met you yet when she first mentioned you to me," she finishes with a laugh.
"How is that possible?" I try to think back, and all I can remember is her and I sharing a couple brief moments of eye contact, but nothing more than that.
"Oh, she said something about the view when she was on the phone with me before she went to the bar. That's a bit of code for us, so I knew she must have seen someone worth noticing. Then, of course, when she went to the bathroom, before you guys went to board the plane, she left me a drunken voicemail, which by the way, she was the one who told me not to drink too much and make a fool of myself. She's such a hypocrite!"
We both laugh at this, because that is ironic. Hopefully it's something we can laugh about with Tris someday… if she'll let me.
"So, then you landed and she was still impaired and tired enough to barrage me with texts, and they all at least mentioned you. I knew it was serious then. I've never been able to boy talk for her before, so I will go to great lengths to prolong this."
I stand there for a long time just staring at her before I finally say, "I totally see what she was talking about. You have no filter."
To my great surprise, Christina just smiles. "She is absolutely correct. Now, don't change the subject." She really looks serious, deep in thought. "I'll make sure her mom feeds her some good food and make her drink a ton of water, to flush her out. I'll make her take a nap, too, for good measure. And you!" She focuses in on me, her stare stern. "You better play out to be what she described. I better not have to lecture you."
I throw my hands back up in surrender. "Not sure what that means, but don't worry. If it's any consolation, I'm probably a lot like Tris in this area, too. Take that any way you'd like it, and it'll probably be true."
Suddenly, I feel horrified, having been so blatantly candor. "I will not ever acknowledge that little conversation ever again so don't even bother bringing it up." She's laughing hysterically at this point, and seeing as I blatantly spilled the beans on my own accord, I even laugh a bit, too.
Christina's phone starts to ring, so we say goodbye and head our separate ways. Since I still have quite a bit of paperwork to do, I swing by a Starbucks to pick up a coffee before heading to Pitzker Park. It's right down the street from Marcus' office, so when I'm finished, I can simply walk there.
Even though it's colder than shit still, thanks to another bought of cloud cover keeping the sun blocked, being outside in the park is the best place for me. It's easy to focus on the paperwork, rather than any other pressing distraction.
Every now and then, I find terms in a document that goes against previous arrangements, which irritates me to no end. After everything these three men have managed to do, somehow, it still doesn't seem to be enough.
Thankfully, I finish up with enough time to walk over to the office, and good on my word, I check in with the receptionist just as the clock strikes two. I don't even get a chance to sit down before I hear a forced chuckle behind me. "Mr. Eaton, you certainly like to push your luck, don't you?"
When I turn, I see Mr. Vega standing with his hands in his pocket, looking me over. I'm dressed casually, while he wears a dark blue suit, looking polished as always. I know it would have been a demand of Marcus' part, to look his absolute best at work, but I can't help but think he's inclined to do so on his own.
"I said I would be here," is all I give him, walking past him to go back to Andrew's office, the second to last office on the left of the hallway. The door is ajar, so I immediately see Andrew sat behind his desk, staring down at some documents. His dark hair is significantly more grey than it was the last time I saw him, nearly matching his suit. His green eyes have dulled, probably from the source of the bags beneath them. Andrew has progressively grown more worn down over the years. The toll of everything seems to be more than poor old Andrew ever thought, but I can't feel too sorry for him. He made his choices, and some of them are inexcusable to me.
Mr. Vega comes up behind me and clears his throat, startling Andrew just a bit. "My apologies. I lost track of time." He sighs as he stands, crossing the office to shake my hand. "Thank you for coming in." I think he really is grateful. After everything, he has got to be relieved the man is dead.
He extends an arm to one of the chairs in front of his desk. They're fairly plush, covered in a royal blue upholstery. I take the one that sits directly in front of Andrew's seat, so I can look him in the eye when need be. Mr. Vega takes the seat to the left of me, watching Andrew with a hint of amusement.
Andrew doesn't even acknowledged Mr. Vega and spares us the awkward formalities by getting straight down to business. It's boring, really, going over everything, making sure all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed. Mr. Vega practically goes nuclear when he sees I will indeed be taking the house into my possession, as Marcus had initially planned, but Andrew is well practiced at bringing him back down, even if Mr. Vega practically bores holes into my temple with his insistent glare. All the other points were settled as expected, though, which I'm grateful for.
Andrew finishes the last of the signatures as we go over the service specifics, most of which I could give a rat's ass about. He goes over the service, what flowers are there, the music… It all seems laughable. Marcus never went to church a day in his life, hell, hardly even had respect for people that did. He wouldn't have cared either way if there were flowers. Oh, and the music? He never played it in the house, and he berated anything that was on the radio.
This is all about the illusion. Even in death, Marcus doesn't want to tarnish his image. He doesn't want anyone to know him as the conniving, power-hungry narcissist he was, so he's having everyone take the time to walk the walk, even now. As if anyone owes him a thing.
"Now, Mr. Vega spoke to me yesterday evening and did tell me he already discussed the other, er, arrangement that needs to be seen to." He huffs out an uncomfortable breath, rubbing his face almost out of frustration.
"Arrangement?" Something about the way he said it already has me irritated, suspicious of where this conversation is headed.
Mr. Vega laughs a little, but Andrew cringes, giving him a tired look before turning to me. Andrew really has aged, and it's not helped with the bags under his eyes. He must not be sleeping well, as of late. "Your father specifically requested you bring your, er, significant other. It has come to my attention you don't have one, so-"
"Oh, sure he does, Andrew. Surely, you remember me telling you?" Mr. Vega laughs, looking pointedly at Andrew with a deliberate look. "She's a sweet little thing. I know you're not one for admiring a good piece of ass, Andrew, but that one, whew! Might even have caught your eye."
Andrew's face pales ever so slightly but he immediately looks at me instead, seeing as I've balled my fists so tight, my knuckle crack. What little color was left drains as he turns to Mr. Vega, a pleading look in his eye. "Must you talk like that?" The only answer he gets is a slight shrug of one shoulder, Mr. Vega's lips curled up in a smile.
Andrew shakes his head, almost defeated, before he finally carries on, leaving me to fester in my anger. "Tobias, you need to bring a woman along with you. I trust I don't need to list out what you should look for in her, but I have to say, your father made some requests as to who cannot be there."
My eyes fall closed, irritated. "Shauna," I state simply. The one female friend he knew about. Of course. If he thinks I'd have brought her, though, then he really didn't know me, but the fact that he went out of his way to state that she couldn't be there feels like yet another blow to the gut. It's never enough, not for him.
The good news is, he's dead. After this week, there's nothing left held over me. So, as calmly as I can, I answer, "Don't worry, I'll have someone there."
"It'll be that little doll again, I bet," Mr. Vega goads, though he tries to maintain an expression of innocence. "I bet that little handful keeps you busy."
My jaw clenches painfully at his mention of Tris, and at his attempt to get under my skin. It's probably best that Tris and I fought this morning, because otherwise I think the overprotective side of myself that I've only recently discovered would have kicked into overdrive beyond my control. Who knows what condition Mr. Vega would be in if I had that chance?
"Oh, too modest to share? I'll read between the lines." He shifts in his chair so he can look at me more head on, though I stare straight ahead, staring at a point on the wall behind Andrew's left shoulder. "She's a secret you like to keep, I can see that much, which must mean there's something special about her." My heart is pounding. Don't engage. Whatever you do, don't engage!
"That's enough," Andrew says sternly, giving Mr. Vega the fiercest look I've ever seen him manage. It's… bizarre.
Mr. Vega is still staring at me, but he laughs at Andrew like he's a silly child throwing a tantrum. "Oh, Prior, relax. There's nothing to be ashamed about. Besides, you're the one behind the desk. We won't notice you getting all worked up picturing a pretty little thing writhing and screaming-"
"I said that's enough!" Andrew barks, a vein near his temple pulsing indignantly. He turns to me, his face reddening with anger before he clears his throat uncomfortably. "I think that's it, Tobias. If there's anything else, I'll call you. Otherwise, I'll see you Friday morning. You can go now."
I know it's an order, but I don't mind it. If I have to hear Vega say one more foul thing…
Before they can change their minds and rope me back in, I give a curt nod before I practically run out the door and down the hall. I don't look back, not even as I walk down the sidewalk. I'm done. After Friday, this all will end, and it can't happen soon enough.
AN: Woohoo! Tension! ;) Maybe I should bring in the Fireball sometime soon... Yea or nay? Who knows what could happen...
Big shout out to MJ this week who helped me make Mr. Vega more deplorable. There will be... more where that came from. As far as Andrew, I'm loving all the thoughts on him, as well as what Tobias would think or feel when he discovers who he truly is. How do you all think it's going to happen? How do you think they'll handle it?
And Tris. *sigh* That girl. What are we gonna do with her?! (Tobias is willing to take some suggestions he he he)
The next chapter should be up by this weekend, unless I get really swamped this week with work, in which case it will be up Monday. Thank you all for your continued support. All the views, follows, faves, and of course, the reviews! I adore all of your amazing feedback.
-Willow
