Chapter 11: Close Your Eyes


As soon as she stepped through a small hidden door close to her and Holly's room, the door closes behind her and a pressing silence fills the area. She wastes no time to quickly go into her room. For a moment Kat thinks about checking if he really left and if he has no chance to somehow watch her here. But she doubts that he would stay. As soon as she starts pulling the shirt off over her head, a stabbing pain moves along her ribs.

Yep, bruised. Wonderful.

'' Fuck…'' Everything in her hurts. She just wants to lie down and take an extra large dose of morphine. But she didn't take morphine with her. She didn't think she would fight. Not like this. Not without putting any real interest into winning. Just as she managed to get out of the wet shirt there's a knock on her door. It opens a gap,

'' Miss Jones? May I enter? '' Kat abruptly recognizes Madam Giry's voice. Erik must have told her she's back, does she know that she was hurt? Did he tell her that they had a fight? The younger woman shakes those thoughts off, her arms tightly holding onto the shirt but her muscles tremble violently as she strains them,

'' Yeah, come in. I'm just… a little undressed… and… hurt…''


As soon as Antoinette got into the room and closed the door behind her she examines Kathrine closely. The young woman's body is covered in injuries. Large bruises on her throat let on she has been choked half to death, her back is a battlefield of scratches and deep blue and purple marks. Madam can't stop the gasp. What has Erik done?

'' Dear god… I did not think it would be this bad. '' Without any hint of hesitation Antoinette walks up to her and gently takes the shirt out of Kathrine's hands, eying the blood strains on it carefully. Right now she cannot say if it is only her blood or if Erik was injured too. Kathrine's eyes abruptly move to the ground, her voice bitter,

'' Yeah, you should see him. '' Madam Giry studies the younger woman closely. There is regret on her face, too much so to let on that Erik simply beat her in a fit of rage of which she knows he is capable of. So he was hurt too, more badly even than her? No, that is most likely not possible. Kathrine would not have the physical strength to fight him. And Erik should have known that. Antoinette had a bad feeling about this whole thing from the very beginning on and now the young woman before her was badly injured. Madam's eyes move to Kathrine's ribs where probably most of the damage was done. At least that is where the bruises seem the worst, next to her back. Did Erik intend to break her ribs? The thought makes her shudder. Kathrine then shrugs out of the rest of her clothing with little help of Madam Giry. The older woman allows her to change her undergarments in privacy and uses the time to take everything from the first aid kit she will need. There is not much she can do against the bruising but she can clean the bleeding wounds on her face and wrap up her torso to help her ribs in their healing process.

As she turns back she finds Kathrine looking through a small bag until she pulls out two small pills and a pack of cigarettes. Antoinette eyes the last item displeased but she decides not to say anything to that right now. Kathrine puts the pack aside and swallows the two pills, her eyes faintly moving to Madam Giry,

'' Painkillers. '' She nods her head accepting and sits then on the bed next to her. To her surprise Kathrine does not even flinch once as Madam Giry sterilizes the wound.

''...If I may ask… what happened? '' She asks after a while, her hands working quickly to wrap the bandage around Kathrine's torso. The younger woman grits her teeth but shrugs,

'' We had a fight. Started off real small but… it got out of control. ''

'' You wanted to see what is beneath the mask? ''

'' Oh I saw it. A birth defect, no big deal… For me at least… My brother… he's a solider. I've seen friends of him returning from war because they were catastrophically injured. I'm used to a lot worse than that. I pulled the mask off the second day I was with him. He got really angry but I could calm him. I even got him to walk around without that stuff…'' Kathrine's lips turn into a heavyhearted smile. Madam's eyes widen in surprise,

'' I… did not think it would be possible that he ever feels comfortable enough around someone for that… How did it end in such a conflict then? '' Kat gives a sarcastic smirk which abruptly drops again, her eyes becoming somewhat hollow.

'' It started with Mister Williams. Erik wanted to write him a letter, I got pissed and then he suddenly claimed that I'm in love with my teacher. I just... got really angry after he told me that I'm a liar, that everything I said was only to play with him and that I couldn't understand a thing going on. Like I'm stupid… like I wouldn't even be worth the time. Then I just said whatever I could to hurt him. ''

'' God knows there is a lot of that. …I am deeply sorry it ended like this. ''

'' Me too. ''

'' He consulted me after you fought the first time… To ask for advice. I cannot deny that I was surprised. Erik certainly is stubborn and often too sure of his own actions. I did not think that he would ever ask me about a possible mistake he made. '' She pauses then, her eyes moving around the room for a moment without any real destination. Kathrine makes no move to interrupt.

'' I was sure he would not harm you. Especially not this badly…'' The younger woman shakes her head then,

'' I started it. I dared him to hit me. He was furious enough to try. I blocked and landed the first punch… It just went out of control but neither of us really tried to kill the other. He was… so devastated about what happened… -Madam Giry, do you know if he's alright? Did you take care of him too? He was hurt worse than me. I tried to hold back but I'm a professional fighter, defending myself is part of my instinct… I…'' Madam Giry watches how Kathrine breaks off, tears welling up in her eyes as she buries her face in her hands. A sad smile comes to Antoinette's lips, Kathrine is so worried about Erik even though she is hurt too. Could she really love Erik for who he is, with all his flaws? For years all that Madam Giry wanted was for him to find happiness. To have some light in his darkness. If it was in this world or the other. Could Kathrine really offer this? Madam knows best how stubborn and unusual Erik can be, how dangerous he is. She cares for him but she cannot deny that he is a threat to not only himself. He has killed more than once since she met him without ever really showing any remorse for those actions. But Kathrine actually does not seem to mind. And Erik loves her.

Antoinette could not believe her ears as he told her he wanted to offer her a decent meal. And she laughed as he told her he wanted to bake a cake with enough chocolate in it to cause diabetes. He was so ready to do everything for Kathrine that Antoinette now cannot believe it ended like this. On second thought, Kathrine is very hot-blooded. Her temper may not be as dangerous as Erik's, but she is the type of person one should not underestimate. Madam did not know she was a professional fighter. Had she known, perhaps she would have seen this coming. Right now she is released that Kathrine's condition is not worse. And she hopes Erik is fine. He did sound rather normal but Antoinette knows better than to trust the sound of his voice. It has been his instrument for decades.

'' I am sorry my dear, he did not show himself to me… He merely let me know that you were hurt and need my assistance. He left before I could ask any more. ''

'' I understand. '' Madam places a gentle hand on Kathrine's back,

'' He will be fine. Erik does know how to take care of himself. ''

'' Maybe that's the problem. '' Suddenly Kathrine's voice changes and she looks up. The younger woman's eyes are narrowed, her teeth grit in anger. Madam shakes her head, her voice soft as she smooths her hand over Kathrine's back,

'' It was necessary in the past. '' In a heartbeat Kathrine jumps to her feet, her arms making wild movements in her anger as she walks a few steps away from the bed,

'' But that's not fair! That's a birth defect! It's not his fault! Why do people hate him for something he has no control over!? ''

'' I understand your anger. I have asked myself this time and time again. Maybe he was born into the wrong world. ''

'' My world's filled with ignorant assholes just as much as yours is. It doesn't matter where you live in the world, nobody should put someone else down for something they have no- '' Madam Giry quickly gets to her feet as Kathrine stumbles, her eyes almost falling close. Obviously her circulation collapses. The older woman supports her until she is back on the bed,

'' Please, you need to rest. '' Kathrine nods and allows her to help her lie down properly and tuck her under the covers. With a reassuring, small smile she makes her way to the door.

'' I can't go after him, can I? '' Her hand halts over the handle at Kathrine's voice. She sighs,

'' I will try to reach him. ''

'' Thank you…'' With a nod she leaves the room again where she sees Meg waiting.

'' Is she alright Mama? Can I go see her? ''

'' Later my dear. She needs to rest, she is very weak. ''

'' Did he hurt her? ''

'' They hurt each other. She will be feeling better soon. '' In that moment a letter falls down from above them and lands right in front of Madam Giry's feet. She only faintly glances up before picking the letter off the ground. Her and Meg exchange a glance. The young girl looks with another worried glance at the door of Kathrine's room but makes no attempt to press her wish to see her. Madam Giry sighs and makes her way to the entrance hall with the intention to quickly deliver the letter. Before she can reach the stairs, she is abruptly met with a loud discussion between what sounds like her Managers, the Teacher and La Charlotta.

'' I want to know who send this letter to me! '' A voice which can only belong to the leading Diva rings through the opera. Madam Giry sighs. This is not going to help with the already tensed atmosphere.

'' Not me! '' The Teacher sounds angry too.

'' So you are saying this is not the letter you send?! ''

'' No! Why would I send that?! ''

'' Signora, please, what is it that was send to you? '' Missouri Firmin asks, obviously trying to calm the raging woman before him. Madam waits slightly hidden from their sight as she sees how Firmin takes the letter to read it out loud,

'' Your days at the Opera Populaire are numbered. Kathrine Jones will be singing on your behalf tomorrow night. Be prepared for great misfortune, should you attempt to take her place. ''

'' And why should I send that? ''

'' Who knows what is really going on between you and that girl! ''

'' Okay Lady, very thin ice- ''

'' Mister Williams, please…'' André steps in too, his voice nervous. Madam decides to interrupt before there are more people getting hurt,

'' Miss Jones has returned. '' In a heartbeat every eye is on her. André is the first to speak up,

'' I hope no harm was done to her, we were concerned? ''

'' Where precisely is she now? ''

'' In her room, I thought it best she'd be alone. ''

'' She needed rest. '' Meg chirps up beside her. The teacher abruptly makes his way downstairs,

'' I'll go to her- ''

'' No Monsieur, she will see no one. '' He does not look very pleased about that.

'' Will she sing?! Will she sing?! '' Carlotta and Piangi scream in union,

'' I have a note- ''

'' Let me see it! ''

'' Please. '' Firmin looks reasonable at her so she hands him the note,

Gentlemen, I have now send you several notes of the most amiable nature, detailing how my theater will be run. So far you have followed all of my instructions, which I have noted with great pleasure.I do hope you continue this wisely.

Kathrine Jones has returned to you and I am anxious her career will progress. In tonight's performance of Hannibal she will therefore continue to play the role of Erissa. The role of Erissa is a Soprano which is not suited well for Signora Guidicelli. Thereby I prohibit for her to step a foot on my stage in this production. I wish for you to prepare Miss Jones for her performance with the same care as before.

The scholar will hold his distance to her from now on.I do not wish for him to provide any distraction.

I shall watch the performance from my normal seat in box five which will be kept empty for me. Should these commands be ignored, a disaster beyond your imagination will occur.

I remain, gentlemen, you obedient servant.

O.G.

The two managers exchange a glance. Before any of them can say a word, Carlotta throws her arm up,

'' Kathrine! ''

'' Whatever next? ''

'' Of course it comes down to dear Kathrine! The Ghost's little darling! ''

'' Please, this is insane. ''

'' Signora, can you believe this? ''

'' Un tradimento! '' (A Betrayal)

'' Signora! ''

'' E li sostenete! '' (And you support that)

'' Signora please- ''

'' I will not stand here and- '' The Diva breaks off, her eyes widening abruptly. The others follow her glance and soon spot Kathrine leaning against the wall, her arms crossed and a glare on her face. She dressed in a simple shirt that hangs down one shoulder and reaches her knees. Her feet are bare. The bandages on her body are clearly visible through the loose fit of the shirt and the bruises on her face took a deeper shade. Her face is pale and despite the anger her eyes are dull what lets on that the painkiller she took is not taking any effect yet. To be quite blunt, she looks more than horrible. Mister Williams' eyes widen, the man's heart obviously sinking to his knees. His voice is rough,

'' Kat…'' The small crowd watches how Kathrine pushes herself off the wall and approaches the two Managers who still hold onto Erik's notes. She snatches the papers out of their hands and briefly reads through each of them. Her expression twists into even more anger as she tears the notes apart. She drops the shreds on the floor carelessly and turns to Carlotta,

'' Good luck, the role's all yours. '' The Diva still looks at Kathrine with a somewhat blank expression. As she does not answer right away, Kathrine turns but stops in her attempt to walk away as Monsieur Firmin speak up,

'' Miss Jones, the Phantom will- '' Suddenly she turns on her heels, causing the manager to take a step back as her voice spits acid at him,

'' I am not a puppet that he can play and order around as he pleases. '' Carlotta now shakes out of her slight shock and shakes her head, her voice tensed,

'' I do not want the role handed over by you! '' Kathrine's glare shifts to her,

'' Okay I'll explain this as plainly as I can: I've got the headache of my life, my ribs are killing me and my fingers are shaking so bad I can't even roll a joint. Take the role, or don't. I don't care. It's not my problem. Nothing of this is…'' Her voice starts of harsh but turns more an more into a quiver as the pain visibly returns. Monsieur André takes a step closer to her, his expression soft. Antoinette noticed that he grew quite fond of the younger woman,

'' Miss Jones- ''

'' Don't 'Miss Jones' me! I'm done! Done with performing, done with singing, done with this Opera! Done! ...I'm sorry. But that's it for me. '' As quickly as she approached, she leaves again. The people in the entrance hall look at each other, the mood suddenly worse than before.


Only a few minutes after Kat closed the door, Holly and Jessie storm into the room,

'' Kat?! I knew it was you! We were worried! '' Holly abruptly makes a go at her to wrap her arms around her friend tightly. Only as she feels Kat flinching furiously she leans back and takes a look at her, noticing the bruises and bandages. Her mouth opens as she draws in a sharp breathe but Jessie's the first to speak up,

'' Kat, what happened?! ''

'' I'm fine. ''

'' You don't look fine! You look- '' Holly breaks off, not able to form any more words but Jessie's slowly growing angry,

'' Was that him? I'm gonna rib his lungs out!- '' Kat jumps to her feet, her eyes narrowed,

'' No! You leave him alone! I swear to god Jessie if you come close to him…! '' The threat drowns in another sway of her body. Holly helps her back onto the bed where Kat rests her head on her friend's shoulder. Jessie's eyes narrow dangerously,

'' What's that supposed to be! You got Stockholm Syndrome now!? He kidnapped you! That bloody psycho hurt you! ''

'' I went with him on my own! He held his hand out to me, I took it! We had a fight, yes, but he looks worse than me! And while I'm being treated and cared for here, he's alone! But that doesn't matter because I can't do shit about it! ''

'' Kat what happened…''

'' Doesn't matter anymore. It's over. Arruiné todo…Yo sabía que estaba yendo demasiado lejos… Pero no podía dejar de…'' (I ruined everything. I knew it was going to far. But I couldn't stop) Jessie growls,

'' Don't go Spanish on me. '' Holly gives him a look. Jessie sighs and gets to his feet,

'' I'll get you something to drink…''

'' Make it very alcoholic, please. '' Jessie looks at Holly who is clearly not pleased by the request but nods her head anyway. Jessie would never get Kat anything that Holly doesn't approve of, not in situations like that. It's one of the things he noticed first. Holly knows everything about Kat, what she can stand, what she can't, what she should do, what she better shouldn't. Holly's taking care of Kat when she's coming into an episode or when its over, Holly knows about everything inside of Kat. These two share secrets Jessie doesn't even want to know. He saw Kat once right after an episode and that was the scariest shit he's ever seen. So he sighs and leaves the room.


The moment the door closes and they're alone Holly turns to Kat, her voice soft but demanding,

'' Tell me what happened Kat…'' She shakes her head, tears welling up in her eyes,

'' He's deformed. Half of his face and some of his head. He wears a mask and a wig to hide that. He's got some form of PTSD and other shit… He's so broken Holly. I'm the first person that really… He had no childhood, no friends, no love, no parents, no one that cared about him. He put his whole trust, his whole love into me and I messed up! '' The tears now fall freely. Holly knows her long enough to have a vague idea about what happened.

'' You said things to him of which you know will hurt him. ''

'' It went so great! Everything was fine! Yes we had small arguments and there were a lot of tears but it was good! He opened up to me, told me everything about him. He told me about his childhood, his abuse, his pain. He trusted me. He loves me. And I used it against him. But… I trusted him too… I told him everything…''


A few hours later Kat's fast asleep, cuddled up in her blanket with her arms tightly wrapped around her tear-streaked pillow. After telling Holly everything that happened she took one of her Valium. Holly can't deny that she needs a moment of silence right now to sort everything out she just heard. Kat brought herself into a lot of dangerous or unusual situations yet, whether it be the fighting or the stripping or the escort-career. But this? Holly isn't sure that she can compare this to anything that happened yet. Or if anything at all could be compared to that. Kat managed to find one of the most vulnerable yet dangerous men on earth. And that man is hopelessly in love with her even though she told him about herself. Kat never tells anyone the full story. If somebody asks she will tell people that she's got Anxiety. She might even talk about the pills but it really depends on who's asking and most of the time she mentions them it's in some sort of joke. Only very few people know about the whole package and now Kat told somebody she barely knows. Of course, considering how he acts it was the right thing to do but Kat could just as easily have lied and made something up. It wouldn't be the first time. Kat's way to flirt with everyone is often misleading, especially if she then keeps such a high wall around herself. For someone like Erik this must be hell on earth.

After taking a deep breathe Holly goes outside to find Jessie and Meg in front of the door. Jessie bought Kat some sweet alcohol for when she wakes up. Holly can't say that she likes it but she knows Kat will and right now she needs it. After informing Meg and Jessie briefly about what happened without mentioning any details they settle on Holly's bed. They spend the next hours with talking and playing games while keeping an eye on Kat.


Madam Giry comes in at some point to check up on Kat. The only other visitor is Mister Williams. He was drained, tired, guilt-filled. He would feel worse if Holly would tell him about anything that has happened. Mister Williams was always one of the most popular teachers on their school. He was funny, charming, intelligent, good at teaching and he cared for them without being creepy. But he bonded most with Kat. Many people do that. Kat has something on her that fascinates. Not many people would stick with her for long if they knew everything about her though. Kat has a lot of brief friends but she always makes sure to not let anyone see the 'real' her. Holly and Jessie, they know the real her. Holly more than Jessie. And Mister Williams knows the real her too. He has seen her. Kat run from Holly, too afraid that she could hurt her and run right into his arms. It was one of the best things that could have happened. Every other teacher on their school would have either not cared or called the cops because they would have thought she was on drugs. He was helping her, he does since then. Holly knows they meet for a coffee or a drink here and now. But even though he is close to her, he can't find out about what happened. He would never tolerate it… And Kat couldn't stand it if he turns from her…