To DementedLeaf, I get what you mean by the unneeded apostrophes and mix ups. It happens when I type really fast, but I'll try to avoid them in the future and if I have time, I'll look over the previous chapters. Thanks.

AND. About walmart, those big sales definitely happen in the US and Canada too.

I've always been to scared to go to one though. It's intimidating.


The Petting Zoo-The Muggle World III

"Draco!" Narcissa called, her hands waving in the air.

Draco and Hermione walked over; laughing as they tried to catch their breath from the roller coaster they had just stumbled off.

"You're filthy," commented Lucius, as the two neared within sight. His face scrunched up, as if something putrid was in front of him. "And you smell like a muggle."

Hermione sobered up, her mood ruined. "Shocking," she said spitefully. "Considering you're in the muggle world, at a muggle park that is filled with muggles, who would have thought?"

"Don't you talk to me in that manner young lady," Lucius reprimanded, standing stiffly as he pulled his cloak around him to hide the muggle clothing that Hermione had forced him to wear underneath.

"And you're wearing muggle clothing."

"Not by choice."

Hermione ignored him. "So, I see my water, tainted with my frightful muggleness hasn't done you in yet," she commented smugly.

"Much to your dislike I suppose," he retorted back detestably.

Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but Narcissa beat her to it.

"LOU!" she gasped. "She saved your life."

"Hardly my life," he defended.

"Lou…apologize." Narcissa winked at Hermione.

"Not a chance," returned Lucius, disgusted at the thought.

"Lou…"

"No!"

She frowned. "Lou."

"Cissy don't be like this."

"—"

"Don't make me do this."

"—"

Hermione snickered.

"Please."

"—"

"It's humiliating!"

Lucius shrank under his wife's glare. Slowly, he turned his head towards Draco, refusing to look at Hermione. "Sorry," he bit out.

"I bet it killed him to say that," Hermione whispered to Draco, before nodding to Lucius and smiling brightly at Narcissa.

Narcissa took that as a cue to continue. She ignored her fuming husband and squeezed herself between Draco and Hermione. She pulled them away.

"Mother, what are you doing?"

"Hush boy," she scolded. "You want to know a secret?" she whispered conspiringly.

Hermione bent down, and pulled Draco along too with her hand. "Of course." Her eyes twinkled when she was amused, Draco noted.

"Lucius doesn't want you to know," Narcissa said, "but we went on one of those death contraptions you told us about Hermione!"

"You did?" asked Draco. He paused. "Both of you?"

"Oh yes!" chirped Narcissa.

"Both as in…you and…father?" he repeated disbelievingly.

"Yes, yes! It was amazing! Your father couldn't get enough of it. The thrill. The rush!"

"You mean, Lucius went on a roller coaster? With the smelly seats, soaked with sweat?" asked Hermione, squinting up at the roller coaster Narcissa had pointed at.

"You're kidding right?" Draco put in.

"Oh, well he was perfectly indignant when I made him sit down. He put up quite a scene. It was rather embarrassing. But in the end, he just kept going back and back."

"No way."

Narcissa giggled happily, pleased to see that Draco and Hermione were interested. "We just have to do this again someday Hermione! I've never seen Lou so happy before."

Hermione forced out a smile and looked at Lucius, who was staring at the three of them with a repulsed expression on his face. "He doesn't look very happy," she pointed out.

"Oh, that's just how he always looks!" laughed Narcissa.

"Well, that's…good to know."

"He's perfectly happy, he just doesn't want to let you know."

"But mother, father can't be happy."

"Can't he?" Narcissa rummaged through her bag, and pulled out a photo.

Hermione snatched the image out of her hand, and held it out for Draco and herself to see. The picture was of two people on a roller coaster, their equally long and similarly blonde hair flying behind them and hitting the person behind. They held hands, both smiling and shrieking in a way that only thrill rides could make you do.

Hermione's jaw dropped. On closer inspection, she found that it was Lucius and Narcissa.

"In my eighteen years of life, I have never once seen my father smile," Draco whispered to Hermione. "This is sort of scary."

Hermione nodded mutely. "They look like twins. Now that is scary."

Draco almost chuckled. Almost. But Lucius was walking their way now.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice arrogant as per usual.

"Oh nothing Lou, just about how you wanted to ask Hermione if any of those people who made "hot dogs" were for hire for the manor," she said, insisting on putting air quotations when she said hot dogs to remind everyone that they were not actually made of dog.

"I wasn't going to ask her!" he shouted, displeased. "She wasn't supposed to know," he said urgently to Narcissa.

"Oops?"

Hermione laughed. "So you like the hot dogs Lucius?"

"No," he responded immediately.

Draco stepped into their circle. "Too bad," he commented airily, "because Hermione makes great hot dogs."

Hermione smiled proudly.

Lucius looked positively crestfallen. "Really?" he asked.

"Oh, the best," assured Draco.

"That's perfect dear!" exclaimed Narcissa, "you can make some for Lou then!"

"Oh, but Narcissa," smiled Hermione coldly, in her most Slytherin-like manner, "he doesn't like them."

"But he does! He told me they were even more delicious than a—"

"That's quite enough Cissy!"

She turned to him. "I thought you said you loved them!"

"Well." Hermione pretended to consider. "If he asks me to make them…kindly….I guess I could."

Lucius suppressed a groan. "I would never belittle myself like that."

"The offer will continue to stand," shrugged Hermione. "Anyways, come on, I want to show you one more place before we go."


"Before we go in there, I suggest you take off your cloak Lucius."

"Did you just say take off my clothes?" he asked indignantly, "what type of preposterous—"

"Cloak. She said cloak," clarified Draco, who wrapped his arm around Hermione's waist. Used to his touch, she barely stiffened at all.

"Oh." Lucius paused. "My cloak is a sign of my authority. A sign of my status. I can not simply—"

"It's a sign of your arrogance…that is going to get ruined," Hermione interrupted. It was a few more minutes of walking before they neared the place.

And they knew they were close because…

"What is that smell?"

"It smells like….no…" Draco widened his eyes.

And finally, the petting zoo came into view. In all of its...animal, fly and manure glory.

"If you would like to call anyone animals Lucius, then these little guys won't take any offense whatsoever."

"I'm not going in there," Draco hissed to Hermione.

"Oh yes you are," she replied, "we all are."

"I most certainly am—" But Lucius' cry was cut off as Hermione pushed him in through the gate. "I stepped in pooh!" he bellowed.

"Oh my, the smell," cried Narcissa, her face distorting.

"I demand to know what these things are?" shouted Lucius. The innocent beady eyes of the many creatures turned towards the noise.

"You call people animals, yet you can't recognize one when you see one," snorted Hermione, "typical."

"I know they're animals! But what are they doing?"

"Well, it seems as though that one is crapping on your cloak LouLou dear."

Lucius made a noise, which sounded oddly like a shriek, and pulled his cloak right out from under the poor little bunny.

"MY CLOAK!"

"Now it's really a symbol of your status," laughed Hermione.

Draco plugged his nose with his hands. "My god, Hermione."

Hermione walked over to the side, put in fifty pence into the machine, and caught the flow of food bits pouring out of the nozzle.

"Some for you," she said, as forcefully pulled down Draco's hand and stuffed it full with pieces.

"Some for you Narcissa," she said, as Narcissa winced.

"And lastly, some for you," she said, walking over to Lucius. Unfortunately for him, he wouldn't open his fist, and Hermione "accidentally" dropped all the rest of the pieces onto the ground around him.

She jumped away just asf all the animals of all sorts came trampling towards the food; pigs, goats, rabbits, chickens, lamb and sheep were only some of the smaller animals. And then there were the big ones stampeding over, the llamas, the donkeys and the ponies.

Lucius called for help, but no one wanted to near the mob of animals.

His arms were flailing in the air, his voice drowned out by the hoots and calls of the animals, and the horrified expression on his face.

Hermione laughed as the pony licked Lucius, saliva dripping sloppily all over the man, who looked downright…Hermione couldn't explain it.

It was a mixture of fear, sadness, anger, and repulse. Mostly, it was just fear.

Lucius looked as if he were about to cry.

And so did Narcissa and Draco. Of laughter.

Lucius was actually trembling.

Finally, the zoo keepers came in to scatter the animals, leaving only a few in Lucius' presence.

One of which, a pig, that continued to rub against his leg.

Lucius kicked.

The piglet snorted, a noise from the deep of its throat that was rather frightening, and then resumed to its affectionate gesture.

He kicked again.

The same thing happened.

And again.

Lucius relented, one hand plugging his noise, the other picking up a few stray pellets of food from the ground and feeding it to the animal.

The…thing…wasn't so bad after all. A little smelly, but sort of…cute.


That night, they returned to the manor with five instead of four. And as they entered the foyer, Lucius bent down to release the squirming little piglet in his arms.

"Welcome home...Bob."

Bob, the pig.