A/N: Ok, you're probably all mad at me for taking such a long time, and I'm really sorry. I've had this written for ages but I didn't have time to edit. Anyway, there'll be another chapter in the next few days but after that I don't know when I'll be able to post another one, because I really have NO idea what's going to happen next. I have a pretty good idea of what's going to happen with the werewolves, but I have been trying for weeks to think of a way to end the issues with the Volturi without all the Cullens dying. So if anyone has an idea for that, let me know in your review, because I'm kind of desperate.
On the day that Carlisle officially declared me in full health once more, when Edward came to see me, he looked sad and resigned. Every aspect of his appearance denoted defeat and dread. His head hung slightly, and his eyes retained a forlorn, aching misery. Confused as to why his expression was better suited to a deathbed than to visiting a loved one who had just completely recovered from a serious illness, I began to interrogate him, but he silenced me with a mournful look.
"Bella," he sighed looking at me as though my face were a delicate flower that he knew was about to crumble into ashes, "I've made a decision. If you're ready, and if you're completely sure that it's what you want…I think it's time to change you. We can't protect you and fight the Quileutes all at once, so I think it's better if you're able to defend yourself in case anything happens while I'm not here."
"Really?" I whispered, hardly daring to trust that this miraculous reward for all my suffering was really being offered.
"Yes," he confirmed, most of the sadness fading gradually, replaced by an unfailing certainty, as he continued, "I think it's time. No matter what I believe, I don't think I could bear for us to be separated permanently."
All through that evening, Edward changed his mind more often than I had tripped in the last six months.
"Bella are you sure you want this?" he kept asking me, over and over.
"Will you just do it?" I finally snapped, trying to hide the fact that I was losing my nerve, though I knew he could tell anyway.
"There are other ways…this solution is so permanent"
"No, you have to do it," I commanded, reminding myself that this had been my dream for over a year now.
"Alright, well, um, you should sit down. I don't want you to fall when I uh…" he instructed in a flustered manner.
"That seems like a silly thing to be worrying about now," I said softly.
He placed his hands obstinately on my shoulders and forced me easily down onto his leather sofa.
"In a few days you won't be able to push me around like that anymore," I teased him, but my voice was still very soft and I didn't really feel like laughing. Edward played along anyway.
"I know," he replied, "I trying to take advantage of it while I can"
I leaned back against the couch, trying to force my stiff muscles to relax. Every part of me had tensed and gone as rigid as a slab of marble. That would probably be permanent. Edward left briefly, to get the rest of the family. He wanted everyone there to stop him in case he lost control. Even when they had arrived, he seemed unsatisfied with all his preparations. He kept moving around the cushions on the couch to try to make it more comfortable.
"Moving cushions isn't going to take the edge off excruciating pain you know," I told him gently. He nodded bleakly, knowing there were no more ways to stall the inevitable.
As I lay back against the pillows, shaking slightly and clamping my mouth shut so I wouldn't scream, I watched Edward kneel beside me. He bent over me and brushed the matted clumps of hair off my neck. Then, slowly, tentatively, appearing as though he would be indescribably relieved if he were simply allowed to flee the room and run as far away from temptation as it was physically possible to be, his shockingly white teeth pierced through the skin on my neck, and lingered there only for a moment. While the agonizing burning sensation started to grip my throat, he bit me again, this time on my left wrist, and then my right. He added a couple of nips on my ankles for good measure, as Carlisle had instructed, to allow the venom to spread more rapidly throughout my veins. When his task was completed, Edward turned abruptly, pushing past Alice who was hovering in behind anxiously, biting her ivory lip in her nervous state. As Edward reached the door, Emmett stepped in his path.
"Stay. She needs you"
Edward turned, hesitating. I fought to turn my head through the blinding pain to shoot him a pleading glance, but he shook his head and tried to shove Emmett aside. Rosalie seized his arm and wrenched him around violently.
"Just look at her, Edward," she seethed, using a scathing tone that I had often heard from her in the past, "How can you walk out on her now? You did that to her," he flinched , "And whether I agree with your choice or not, it is too late to take it back. Do you think it was any easier for me when it was Emmett being changed? It was awful, but I did it and you have to do it too."
Everyone was silent briefly until I couldn't hold back my cries of agony. In the end, that's probably what made up Edward's mind. He rushed back over to my crumpled form and sat beside me, stroking my hair and apologizing repeatedly for his moment of weakness.
Edward never left me again throughout the remainder of the transformation. He held onto me tightly, comforting me, no matter how hard I twisted and screamed. After a few more hours, the pain grew so intense that I could no longer find words to describe the horrors I was facing. Finally, when I had come to the conclusion that I must be dying, about two and a half days after I had been bitten, the burning sensation began to seep, unoticably at first, out of my extremities, working its way out of my limbs, growing less and less widespread and finally waning into a small, concentrated point in the back of my throat where it faded into a much less potent version but did not cease entirely.
When I felt able to, I stood up carefully, breathing heavily, though I knew it was no longer necessary. I felt an uncontrolable need to sink my teeth into the nearest human being, and felt that I could do so without the slightest effort. Attempts to resist my thirst would be futile, as I was well aware, but I convinced myself to walk into the bathroom instead, curious to see what changes the transformation may have caused. When I caught sight of my reflection, it almost distracted me momentarily from my thirst. I couldn't put my finger on any one difference that was responsible for the breathtaking beauty I now possessed. The differences were so subtle, that I almost doubted that there were any. Except that I was so beautiful. My skin was slightly more pale and the soft bruise-like purple shadows had appeared beneath my crimson eyes but any other change was completely imperceptible.
"I look so perfect!" I breathed to Edward, who had followed me.
"You were always beautiful," he smiled, wrapping his arms around me, "Now everyone will be able to see it." I was a little shocked, when his embrace caused a wave of warmth to radiate through me. Now that my skin was chilled to the same degree as his, it felt as though he had become warmer.
My instincts were fighting an angry battle against my heart, but in the end, I knew my need to hunt would win out over my desire to stay with Edward all day staring at my stunning new face, which I could finally deem attractive enough to stand a chance against Edward's breathtaking good looks. My body trembled with the effort of self-control and I knew it was only a matter of time until I lost it.
"Do you want to go show everyone else?" Edward asked.
"I can't," I exploded in anguish, "I need to hunt. Now" I reached for his hand, dragging him along with me, a vague thought about abusing my superior new vampire strength breaking through the brick wall that was the single thought overpowering my mind.
"Come with me, you have to show me how," I commanded.
He led me to a remote clearing not too far from Forks, knowing I couldn't control myself if we tried to go anywhere further. Instinctively, I destroyed the first unfortunate creature that ventured into my range, a young doe, who was trying to get a drink from a little creek too close to me. The taste was thin, watery. It was more disappointing that I had expected, but it cleared my mind from the crazed thirst enough to seek larger prey. A large black bear provided a more substantial respite, though, I had to admit, it wasn't all that much better. To be completely honest, I was never entirely prepared for the challenge of the way the Cullens lived. All of Edward's explanations of the difference between human and animal blood were painfully clear to me now and, at first, I wasn't sure whether I would be able to do what he did. But at the same time, I knew I was perfectly happy to accept all the consequences of being with Edward forever. It was past time that I take some of the burden and at least now, Edward's greatest temptation was safely out of the way.
"Good job," he congratulated me when we met up back in the clearing where we started, managing to surprise me, while I was distracted by my food.
"I think I'm getting the hang of this," I lied, forcing a grin.
"Yeah right,you're not even close! Look at the mess you made" he scoffed, looking pointedly at the bloodstains that tainted the grass. and I shoved him and watched him stumble across the clearing with immense satisfaction.
"I want to see Charlie when we get back" I said, remembering my fathers altered state.
"He's been asking about you," Edward assured me, as we gathered speed and headed towards the house.
When we arrived back at the Cullen residence, Charlie had returned from wherever he'd been hiding whie I was human. His change was a little more obvious, since he now sported a full head of hair and any traces of grey had been eliminated. His face, though, like mine, was undeniably beautiful and yet, I was again unable to detect the source of his orgeous looks. He reminded me of one of those middle aged movie stars who were able to retain their attractive qualities so well that even young girls hearts stopped at the sight of them. It was hard to believe that it was really Charlie,
"Bells!" he greeted me enthusiastically, bounding over gracefully to envelop me in a friendly hug.
"Dad!" I gasped, still stunned, "You look, um, great!"
He chuckled at my lame greeting,
"I'm glad you're safe now Bells," he told me sincerely.
We had a couple of hours to savour the family reunion before Carlisle called a meeting to discuss strategy.
"Alright, now that the Swans are a little more able to defend themselves," he began in a businesslike tone, "We need to prepare for this war as efficiently as possible. We've used up three days changing Bella, and we now have eleven days remaining. The werewolves have a much larger army than we do. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to remedy the situation?"
His speech was greeted with silence.
"Alright, well, let's see," he continued, "We have nine at the moment."
"No, I don't want Bella to have to fight," Edward interjected defensively, "She's only been one of us for a few days! And I don't think Charlie should be in the war either. They're just too inexperienced."
"Seven, then" Carlisle conceded, frowning.
"No, I want to help you!" Charlie objected.
"Dad! You have no idea what you're getting yourself into!" I protested, 'Isn't there a way to handle this quietly? Some sort of negotiation? If anything happens to any of you…"
"Unfortunately, we seem to have exhausted the opposition's patience with us" Carlisle sighed, "To incur the wrath of a werewolf is most unwise. I'm still unsure of whether we made the right decision."
"Have you contacted Denali, Carlisle?" Esme inquired, unable to to handle the dark mood that Carlisle's words had kindled in the room, which Jasper seemed too depressed to do anything about.
"Yes, and they have 3 more for us," he remembered.
"Only three?" Alice gasped.
"Friendship only goes so far sometimes," Carlisle reminded her gently.
"This is hopeless," I moaned miserably.
"We'll think of something," Edward promised, "Don't worry about us,"
But I didn't believe him. And nothing would stop me from worrying about them.
That night, my first night of sleeplessness, I was restless. I paced the house listlessly until Edward could no longer bear to watch and took me out to the porch, where he attempted to distract me with meaningless talk and kisses when he got more desperate. Finally he gave in and we got around to discussing what was really on my mind.
"I can't do this! I'm not strong like you and the rest of your family. I can't think anymore. Everything has to be about this awful bloodlust. It's controlling my life!"
"Bella, you couldn't be more wrong," he contradicted, "I've never seen anyone develop so much self-control in such a short amount of time. You have an incredibly strong mind. You know that. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but it might make you feel better to know that you're doing a great deal better than your father. Charlie…well, he was difficult at first." Noting my uncomprehending expression, he continued, "He slipped, Bella".
"Oh!" I turned away to hid my horror.
"Don't blame him, Bella. Not everyone can control themselves like you. You're doing really well. And it does get easier, trust me. The first year is hardest, but you should consider yourself lucky. Many new vampires can barely function. Haven't you wondered why you hardly see Charlie? He doesn't want you to see him like that."
Slightly reassured about my restraint, I dropped the subject, but we remained silent for quite some time, while I worried about Charlie.
In the end, the allies for our war came to us and there was no need for us to seek them out. However, theire allegiance came with certain strings attached, and all of us wished we could have found warriors under different circumstances. It was two days after our failed strategy meeting when our unexpected guests first made us aware of their presence in Forks. I was sulking around, battling with my thirst which continued to be the sole focus of my life, besides Edward and the occasional thoughts for Charlie and the rest of the Cullens. Most of the occasional visitors that we received were in the habit of knocking and yet, the scents of the vampires who had just barged into the house were unfamiliar to me. I breezed into the entranceway to greet or confront them, once I had ascertained their identities. When I beheld the party of six that glowered darkly in the doorway, I felt instantly grateful for my newfound immortal state, To encounter these visitors in my previous vulnerability could very well have proved fatal. The remainder of my family joined me in the space of a few seconds, forgoing all pretenses of friendliness. Carlisle eyes the representatives of the Volturi, searching for traces of hostility, trying to judge their willingness to negotiate, but the scarlet eyed faces of Demetri, Felix, Alec, Jane, Victoria and the telekinetic vampire who had incapacitated Emmett during my kidnapping, remained emotionless and impassive. Edward stepped forward to shield me, shaking his head almost imperceptibly at me when I hissed at him that he didn't need to protect me anymore.
"What is the purpose of this intrusion?" Carlisle inquired stiffly.
"We're here to inform you of your impending punishment!" Victoria smirked tactlessly, looking pleased with herself as always.
"Quiet, you fool!" Felix snapped, throwing her a disgusted glance, "Pay no mind to her, we keep her around only due to her former usefulness as an informant. She knows nothing of our plans," .
"We merely come to summon you," Demetri continued charismatically, trying to lull us into a false sense of security with his persuasive voice, "To Volterra. We're concerned about your family's recent activities and our leaders merely wish to disuss the matter in person".
Carslisle glared back at him, his body language sending him the clear message that Demetri's charm was doing nothing to dispel his suspicion.
"I'm afraid that's out of the question at present. We've had some trouble with a local werewolf pack and we're only a few days away from war. If the summons is regarding disciplinary action, I doubt it ill be necessary. We're greatly outnumbered and the fighting is unlikely to end favourably for any of us."
"I see," Demetri replied, "Well, as you fellow vampires, I'm sure our leaders would agree that it is our duty to provide you with the necessary amount of soldiers." His eyes shone at the prospect of a good fight.
:What?" Victoria shrieked, livid, "You want to help them?"
"They're our kind. The werewolves are our sworn enemies. In any case, our leaders wish to deal with their crimes themselves". Felix explained impatiently, growing weary of Victoria's insolence.
"Well, it doesn't seem as though we are in any position to refuse," Carlisle replied reluctantly. No one voiced any protests and Edward gave a little nod to indicate that there were none. Of course, that didn't include me, and I was rather horrified that we were planning to accept their help, but I trusted the Cullens and didn't want to ruin what could be everyone's one chance of survival.
A/N update: I also wanted to add that, although I'm very flattered that so many people have added me to their story alerts, it would be great if you guys could review my story too. I really want to know how I'm doing and how I can improve.
