A/N: Sorry for the span of time between updates. My father is gravely ill, and I ended up staying in Missouri longer than I anticipated, but I'm back for now. So, thank you for your reviews, and I'm so happy you love the story. I told you Renee was crazy…well, here's more of it.

SMeyer…creative genius of Twilight. Me…borrower, not infringer.

\\\

12. The Fertility Dance

##

EDWARD

"This could really go either way, you know," Bella told me as we drove to my parents' house to spend time with the whole family the next day. Her dad and Lorraine were supposed to join us, and she was very nervous regarding the reunion of Renee and Charlie. Apparently, they hadn't seen each other in several years, and according to Bella, her mother had actually gotten crazier since the last time Charlie had seen her.

After the whole Sam Uley thing and Christmas, Charlie and I had grown closer. I don't know if it was the ass beating that I gave that dick on Charlie's front yard or the fact that he knew that I loved his daughter and would do everything I had to do to take care of her, but it seemed to me as if we'd reached a new level of respect in our relationship, and when we spent time at her father's house, he actually treated me as a friend…that or he was a very good actor. Either way, I'd take what I could get from the man because I loved his daughter, and he was important to her; therefore, he was important to me.

"Your father's happy, as is your mom, so I don't think I'd worry about it too much if I were you," I commented, hoping to calm her down. I took her hand and kissed it, holding it close to my chest.

"Yeah, well, we'll see. I hope your parents have alcohol handy because I know I'm going to need it," she replied. I chuckled as I pulled into my parents' driveway and drove up to the house, seeing Jasper and Emmett tossing a football in the front yard because the day was unseasonably warm.

"Here they are. I guess once you got a little honey on the stinger, it's hard to get out of bed," Jasper called as he threw the football at my head. I let go of Bella's hand and caught it, turning around and tossing it into the woods off to the side of the driveway as I walked by where he and Emmett were standing, laughing at my reaction to them. I felt no need to comment, except to mutter, "assholes," under my breath which caused Bella to laugh.

We went inside the house and found my mother and Renee in the kitchen. Renee had some sort of a scarf tied around her head, and she was wearing a poncho that looked like an afghan that my grandmother had crocheted years ago. "Shit," Bella sighed. I squeezed her hand and let it go to greet my mother and receive a bone-crushing hug from Renee.

"You kids missed my root-vegetable and tofu omelets this morning. Emmett ate two," Renee offered.

"Mother, Emmett would eat road kill if it would stay still long enough. What are you making there?" Bella asked as she slipped a large bowl of some sort of broccoli, bacon, and onion salad into the refrigerator that she'd made at home. I'd tasted it and it was great, much like everything else she cooked.

"Oh, it's a new recipe that I'm trying. So, you two look very well-rested. I take it that you had an enjoyable night," Renee observed, waggling her eyebrows at the two of us.

"God, Mom, please. Esme doesn't want to hear that kind of talk in her home, much less when it refers to her own son," Bella hissed quietly.

My mom turned around with a smirk on her face and responded, "To the contrary, dear. I'd rather hear about it like this than what I heard coming from Rosalie's old room last night. Apparently, she's ovulating, and Emmett needs a lot of encouragement."

"I'm out," I announced as I spun on my heel and walked back out the front door to endure what I was sure would be more torture from Jasper and Emmett. It was better than listening to it from my mother, who, I was convinced, had adopted a "how can I torture my formerly chaste son?" attitude of late.

Jasper and Emmett were sitting on the steps having a beer and chatting about the Pro Bowl which had been played the weekend before, and the Super Bowl which was to be played the next day. "Son, I can't believe you came here instead of goin' to the game. You're not that far from Indianapolis," Jasper commented.

"Trust me, my buddy had tickets, and I was all set to go, but Rosie told me I had to come here, so that was out the window. She's still pissed because I insisted that we fly home on Monday instead of tomorrow because I'm not gonna have my ass on a plane and miss the game," Emmett answered.

It was my turn to taunt him. "Why was it so important that you come with her this weekend, anyway, Em? I mean, they're just making wedding plans, and I really don't see where you're added value," I teased.

"I'm here for a higher purpose," Emmett gloated. I should have known better than to try to embarrass him. He'd get the best of me every time.

"Oh yeah? What, pray tell, would be the higher purpose for you to be here?" Jasper asked. I couldn't tell if he knew the answer or not, based on the blank look on his face.

Emmett stood up and turned to face the two of us on the stairs, and then the ass began shifting his hips front and back in a very lewd gesture while his bent arms went in the opposite direction. "I was required to be here to sow my seed. The little woman is ovulating, and she needed the big guy here to do the deed," he volunteered as he continued to shift his hips, Jasper and I both cracking up at his little dance.

I'd heard the front door open, but apparently, Emmett hadn't. "Emmett, you jackass. I'll get what I need out of you another way if you don't knock that shit off. Piss me off too much, and I'll just go to a sperm bank," I heard my sister snap behind us.

The look of shock on Emmett's face was enough to satisfy me. The idiot had been caught mid-thrust, and the little woman, my take-no-shit sister, wasn't pleased about it at all. I was pretty sure that he wouldn't be getting any until the next time she was ovulating, and it caused me to laugh like a damn hyena.

I looked at Jasper and stage whispered, "Wonder where all this cockiness was last night? I heard that he needs a lot of positive reinforcement in the bedroom." I felt a shoe crack me in the back, and I hopped up off the stairs in time to see my sister coming at me. She kicked off her other shoe and chased me around the yard.

"I'm going to rip your dick off," Rosalie yelled. I was zigging and zagging out of her way just as Bella's dad and his girlfriend pulled into the driveway.

"Kick his ass for me," Charlie called as he and Lorraine went inside. I got Rose around the middle just as she was about to rack me up, and I carried her back up to the porch, shoving her at Emmett.

"I believe this belongs to you," I called as I grabbed a fresh beer from the bucket and went inside, not wanting to miss the reunion of Renee Dwyer and Charlie Swan. I was sure it would be good.

##

BELLA

We were in the kitchen cooking, and my mother and Esme seemed to have a lot of inside jokes. Esme had admitted that the two of them sat up drinking beer after they got home the night before, and they'd gotten to know each other very well. That information did nothing to calm my nerves.

Alice and Rosalie came downstairs and joined us into the kitchen as Esme was thanking my mother for some sort of a pointer regarding how to keep from getting a cramp in her hip…I was sure it had something to do with sex…and I knew I was flaming red.

"Suffice it to say, the outcome was quite well received," Esme concluded as I chopped onions and bell peppers to make kabobs.

Rosalie grabbed a bottle of Snapple from the refrigerator and handed me a beer. "So, when are you guys moving?" Rosalie asked. Esme had taken her and my mother over by the building we'd bought to show them the progress of the remodel. Edward and I had chosen all of the appliances, cabinets, countertops, flooring, and wall colors, but we weren't allowed to see it until it was finished. It was our wedding gift from Carlisle and Esme.

"As soon as it's finished. I think the date of completion is the middle of March," I commented before I took a long pull from my beer. At that point, it would have been much more convenient if they'd just wheeled a keg in for me. I was waiting for my dad and his girlfriend to show up, and I wanted the alcohol to dull my senses enough so that I didn't glow like a hot nuclear reactor for the rest of the day.

"What is Emmett doing out there?" Esme asked as she turned her attention toward the picture window in the breakfast nook. We all walked over to the windows and saw him doing some little dance on the front sidewalk, looking completely comical.

"That bastard. He says it's his fertility dance. I'm going to kill him," Rosalie called as she stormed out the front door. We heard her shouting at Emmett, and I rounded the door just in time to see her chuck a shoe at Edward.

He jumped and ran from the porch, and she took off behind him, chasing him through the yard as he continued to laugh and dodge her fists. "It's like they never grow up," Esme called as we all walked back into the kitchen.

A minute later, I heard my father clear his throat behind us. I drained the beer I had and turned to see him eyeing my mom carefully. She turned around and smiled. "Charles Swan. Look at you. You look quite happy," she called as she walked over to where he stood and puckered up, planting one right on his lips.

I saw his eyes widen as he pushed her away, and the look of shock was something to see. "You must be Lorraine. It's a pleasure to meet you," Mom told her as she pulled her into a hug. Stunned silent didn't even begin to describe the look on Lorraine's face. She and my mother couldn't have been more different.

Carlisle and Phil walked in, and I saw that Dad looked a little relieved. If he thought Phil's presence would rein my mother in, he was sadly mistaken. Phil had no more control over my mother than one would have over a rabid badger.

Edward came skidding in with Jasper and Emmett not far behind him, I'm sure not to miss the show, and I braced myself. "Oh, Emmett, I can actually teach you an African fertility dance. Your little dance was cute, but I know one that's highly effective. Edward, you might want to learn as well since you and Bella have been so repressed for all of these years. Jasper, I doubt you'll have any problems when the time comes," my mother called as she began chanting and hopping around on one foot, her arms flailing around like she was have some sort of a seizure.

I heard my father moan next to me, but everyone else in the vicinity of the scene was trying not to laugh. Poor Lorraine just appeared to be in shock.

When she was finished, Mom looked at Emmett, who was really doing his best to keep from laughing hysterically. "So, do you need me to do it again, or do you think you got it?" she asked him.

"Oh, I definitely think I need you to do that again. Actually, do you mind if I tape it so that I can practice at home?" he asked. Thankfully, Rosalie punched him between the shoulders, causing him to cough loudly.

"How about after we eat? I learned a variation from my friend, Faye, if you're specifically interested in a boy. That might be helpful, actually," Mom commented.

"Renee, I can honestly say that I'm surprised at you. I didn't think it possible, but you've torqued up the crazy shit since the last time I saw you," Dad commented as Carlisle handed him a beer. I could tell by the look on his face that he'd actually already had a few snorts, likely in preparation for the day. I wished I'd done the same thing before we left the house.

"Now, Charlie, you and I know that we only had one thing in common and it was sex. Oh, he's very good at sex, isn't he? Surprisingly attentive," my mother commented to Lorraine who choked as if she'd swallowed her tongue.

"Oh, God, Renee, please…" Dad began. I saw the look of mortification on Dad's face, and I actually laughed. He gave Edward so much shit over the time we'd been together that it was about time for someone to get him. He knew better than to try to top her because her mind was a great expanse, and I was pretty sure he didn't want her to begin talking size and technique with his new girlfriend.

My sweet Edward offered, "Um, I think the game is on." I looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, and he winked at me, obviously trying to diffuse a situation from where no good would come.

The men disappeared quickly, leaving the women in the kitchen. "So, um, Lorraine, what might I offer you to drink?" Esme asked.

"Anything with alcohol," Lorraine strained out. Man, I could relate to her more than I ever thought I could.

The rest of the day was relatively uneventful. Rosalie and Alice took my measurements because Alice was actually going to make my wedding dress, and we narrowed in on a design based on the sketches Alice had already prepared.

Mom's suggestion of a traditional Quileute wedding costume was quickly overruled by everyone. She defended her suggestion by saying, "It adds to the spirit of the Northwest." None of us agreed.

We said our good-byes that night because Mom and Phil were going to drive back to Seattle for the day on Sunday and then leave on Monday. Everyone was coming to our place for breakfast so Mom and Phil could pick up their rental car that was parked at our place, and the last thing I really remembered was Edward saying, "Come on, Drunkella. Let's get you home and in bed," as he hauled me up over his shoulder and carried me to the car. Before I passed out in the car, I prayed that I wouldn't remember any of it the next day.

##

"Babe, you've got a letter from your mom," Edward called. The studio was actually finished, and Edward was outfitting it as he had time. Esme had given him a table and two couches to have in the outer waiting area, and he and Jasper, who surprised everyone with his painting abilities, painted backdrops for studio shoots. Everything was coming together slowly, but we were doing it on our own…with a little help here and there…and we were both happy.

We'd just moved into the apartment, and it was beautiful. We didn't have much furniture, but we did have a bed, and as it turned out, that was about all we needed. We'd refused to allow Carlisle and Esme to buy us furniture, telling them we'd rather accumulate it slowly as we could afford it, and thankfully, they didn't argue.

I walked into the kitchen where Edward stood at the counter sorting the mail, and he shoved the envelope toward me. I rolled my eyes, worried about what was inside, and slipped my finger under the flap to open the envelope.

When I pulled out the card, I was pleasantly surprised. It was a lovely hand-painted card with a picture of Edward and me looking at each other and smiling. "That's really cool," I remarked as I opened it to find a rectangular piece of paper flutter out onto the counter. I ignored it and read the sentiment.

Kids,

You didn't ask, but we wanted to help, so enclosed is a token of our affection and support for your joining of your lives. Bella, I'm so proud of you for your accomplishments, and Edward, I know that you're good for my daughter. I have no doubt that you love her and you'll take care of her. You have no idea how much of a comfort it is to me.

The enclosed check is for you to purchase the things you need for your new home. I hope that you'll have time to come visit us over the summer after school's out. There are some lovely places in the area that I'm certain would provide a magnificent opportunity for Edward to photograph.

I'm in touch with Alice and Esme regarding the wedding expenses. Those are being taken care of by Phil and me, with your dad paying what he can. No argument, Isabella. We're doing this.

Thank you for our lovely visit. We hope it can become a regular thing.

Love,

Mom and Phil

"God, I don't know if my heart can take it as a regular thing," I said out loud as I handed the card to Edward. I picked up the check on the counter and flipped it over, my breath catching in my chest.

"Holy shit! This is for $50,000. I can't…where the hell?" I gasped, handing it to Edward. He looked at the check and looked at the card again.

"What the hell does Phil do for a living?" he asked. I honestly had no idea.

"I have no idea. I mean, we had a nice house in Phoenix, but it wasn't anything extravagant. They were married just before I went to college. I thought he just played baseball. I know my mom opened a shop of some sort, but I can't believe that she makes that much money. I need to call her. This has to be a mistake," I responded.

I grabbed my cell and dialed her number. "Baby Girl! It's so good to hear from you. How's my favorite couple?" she asked cheerily.

"Um, we're fine, but we're a bit puzzled. Mom, I think this check that you sent is a mistake," I told her.

"Is it not enough? I mean, it's not a wedding gift or anything, it's just a cushion, but if you need more, I can get another check to you," Mom offered.

Edward flipped it around and pointed out that it was a cashier's check, not a personal check, which meant that it wasn't a mistake. I actually hopped up on the counter to have somewhere to sit. "No, no. It's a lot more than we need. I mean, where'd you get this kind of money? I never wanted for anything growing up, but Mom, we didn't have this kind of money," I asked.

She laughed. "Honey, Phil owns a plumbing business and has about ten outlets here in Phoenix. He also came into some money when he lost his mother. My store is doing well, but not quite that well, but after we met Edward and got to know him, we wanted to help you kids get started.

"I know that you insisted on taking student loans for what your scholarship didn't cover, but I'm hoping that after you two furnish your home, there will be enough to pay them off so that the two of you can start on a solid footing. I might be flighty and crazy, but I know how it is to live without money. I never want you kids to feel the pinch that your dad and I felt all those years ago. Now, I hate to cut you off, but I've got a store full of customers. We'll talk soon. Love you both. Bye," Mom announced and hung up on me.

I hung the phone up and slid across the counter, swinging my legs onto the kitchen side where Edward stood looking at me for answers. "It, um, it's a cashier's check, Bella," he pointed out as he held it up in front of my face.

"Yeah, it is. Unbeknownst to me, Phil is some sort of plumbing tycoon, and they're paying for the wedding with Dad's help. She stays in touch with your mom and Alice, and I guess it's going to be taken care of. I just assumed that we'd pay for things as they came up because it's going to be small, but come to think of it, your mother hasn't mentioned one word about expenses to me. Has she mentioned anything to you?" I asked.

I knew that not a lot of things had been firmed up, so I wasn't really surprised that finances hadn't been discussed, but I had kept a running tally in my head as we were making decisions. There were only going to be about fifty people, so I didn't think it was going to be very expensive. Alice had insisted on making my dress, paying for the fabric herself, as my wedding gift.

Rosalie had insisted on buying my undergarments and shoes as her wedding gift. I'd given Esme a check for the deposit for the tables and chairs for the reception, and she didn't say anything about the fact that it was or wasn't enough. She had contacts who were giving us a break, or so I was told, and when I handed her the check, she smiled and put it in her wallet.

I quickly called my bank and ascertained that the check had never cleared my bank. "Crap, your mother didn't cash my check for the deposit to the rental company," I told him. He looked a little sheepish, and I wondered why.

"What's with the look?" I asked. He walked over to me and situated himself between my legs, pulling me closer to him and kissing my nose.

"I actually replaced your check with one of my own. Don't freak out. I put a large down payment on this building when we bought it, and I still have money in the bank. I had some money that was left to me by my grandparents, but I didn't mention it. I waited for you to ask me when we closed on the building, but you just signed on the line. I certainly wasn't going to look for trouble," he confessed.

"Edward Cullen, shame on you. How much, if you'll tell me, is some money?" I asked nervously.

"Love, I told you I'd tell you anything. We have a cushion of about a two-hundred grand. I put seventy-five down on this, so we still have a mortgage for seventy-five, but I don't want to burn through the money. I spent about five grand of my own money when I was traveling, and then of course, I bought the car. We're not independently wealthy at all, but we've got a cushion until my business takes off, which I pray it does. I haven't been holding out on you at all, but you seemed to be in no hurry to furnish the house, so I wasn't about to push," he admitted.

"Well, you continue to surprise me. So, now, we can take some of this money and buy a couch, television, and table and chairs, and then put the rest in the bank," I suggested.

"We can do whatever you want. If we can do whatever I want, I've got some distinct ideas about what I'd like to do right now, and none of them involve shopping for furniture. We've got exactly what we need for what I'd like to do," he told me as he picked me up from the counter and carried me back to the bedroom while I kissed and sucked on his neck. I didn't want to make a mark on his neck because we were going to Mass that night with Carlisle and Esme, but I could certainly put them where no one would see them.

He placed me on the bed and climbed up next to me, stripping my tank off and showering my chest with open mouthed kisses which drove me crazy. I pulled his t-shirt over his head and returned the favor.

"Five months," he whispered against my neck as he reached down and began removing my sleep pants as I once again returned the favor.

I remembered what had taken place at our pre-canna class the Monday prior, and I stopped him. "We shouldn't, you know," I told him half-teasing. We'd talked about sex, which was really an uncomfortable conversation with the Webers, but it was actually worse on one of the other couples because it was their daughter, Angela, and her fiancé, Ben. I wondered if the poor guy would be able to get it up after the class was over.

"Oh, but we should," he demanded as he pulled my hands away from his chest and secured them over my head with one of his. At that point, I had no argument. When he stroked into me and pulled back slowly, I couldn't formulate a coherent thought, much less a legitimate argument for why what we were doing was wrong. I loved him and he loved me, and it just seemed wrong not to show each other how much we cherished that love.

After several minutes of the two of us moving against each other creating enough friction to start a campfire, I was panting heavily. "God, I love you," Edward gasped as he let himself go inside of me. I'd already reached the Utopia that I'd often experienced when we made love, and embarrassingly, I had let go of a few choice words that I wouldn't have believed would come from my mouth, but the man had learned well in the short time we'd been engaging in the most mind blowing sex I could ever imagine.

He always teased me after, but when the time came and the lights lit up and the world became a brighter place as I let go and felt the most incredible feeling in the world, I had no control over what came out of my mouth. I just hoped, secretly, that someday, I'd get him to let go of a string of curses the way I had.

After he caught his breath, he released my hands and leaned up on his elbows, looking deeply into my eyes. "I believe that was near perfection," he joked.

"Well, we can't go to communion tonight unless we get to church early and go to confession," I replied.

"Actually, it's useless to go to confession if you plan to commit the sin again, and trust me, I plan to commit the sin again in about ten minutes, give or take. We should just go get married and then get married in the church in August," he responded, not for the first time.

"If you didn't want to wait until August, why'd you agree with August?" I asked as he moved off of me and pulled me onto his chest. I turned on my stomach and crossed my arms over his chest, resting my chin and looking into his beautiful face.

"Because, it seems that I lose the ability to reason when you're involved. If you don't know that yet, then I've just tipped my hand and sentenced myself to a life of being whipped, as Jasper and Emmett have told me I am. I have no idea how to say no to you, and I fear I'll never learn," he responded as he picked up a piece of my hair and twirled it between his fingers, looking perfectly serene.

"You know, that goes both ways, right? I can't tell you no either. It took me a while to understand you, because when you were gone last fall I just thought you'd moved on, but knowing you now, I can see where you'd have taken me at face value that I'd be here waiting for you, and you didn't need to worry because I told you to go follow your path. I suppose I was my own worst enemy," I recalled.

"No, I was totally wrong and naïve with regard to all of that. It was all so new to me, love, that I didn't know how important it was to stay connected. Trust me. I thought about you every damn day, but I thought that if I called you when I could, it would be enough.

"A lot of the places we found ourselves didn't lend themselves to cell service, but that's not an excuse. I'm so sorry that I put both of us through that. I was so damn miserable not hearing your voice. I just didn't have the slightest idea what was proper, and I certainly didn't want to scare you off. I believe I proved that I learned my lesson when I was gone last time," he replied as he rested his left hand against my right cheek as his right hand went under his head so that he could see me better.

"Honey, you did. I won't say that I overreacted because I just didn't know what to make of not hearing from you, but I actually understand it now. That being said, don't ever take advantage of my good nature again or I'll hunt you down and hurt you," I ordered as I kissed his chest.

He laughed and said, "I have no doubt that you would. So, I suppose we should go to Port Angeles and start furniture shopping?" he asked.

"I'll look on-line and see if I can find something we'd like. So, Mr. Cullen, how's that recovery time working for you? If we're both going to hell, we might as well enjoy the descent," I told him as I climbed on top of him and felt him ready to go again beneath me.

I quickly positioned myself so that he could easily fill me again, and that time, much to my surprise, he actually dropped a "fuck, yes," when he released inside me. I wasn't setting out to make him a trash-talking sex addict, but it was a bit of a victory for me considering some of the things that had come out of my mouth. I settled into a nap next to him with a smug smile on my face. I'd cracked my almost priest to the point that he absolutely let himself get as caught up in the pleasure we gave each other. It was almost like the gold stars I gave my students for acing a spelling test.

\\\

E/N: Lots happened. Please let me know what you think. Not much more left….I think I told you this was a shorter one. I look forward to your thoughts regarding the Renee/Charlie reunion and the rest of it.

Till Friday…xoxo