Chapter 37 - Reunited
Once inside, Elizabeth and Maggie bustled about the kitchen while David asked Han a million questions. How was he? How was the journey? Was he tired? Now that he had him back at last, he didn't want to let him go; he pulled him onto his knee and held him tightly.
Any other time, Han might have felt self-conscious about it, but he was as desperate for the contact as his father was. He told David about how he had slept through the train journey and how happy he was to be home again. By mutual consent, no-one mentioned the orphanage or the reason he was sent there.
Horrified by the boy's appearance, Elizabeth prepared a huge amount of food. Seeing David watching him, Han tried to eat as much as possible, which had the result of making him feel incredibly sleepy. Towards the end of the meal, he could barely keep his eyes open.
David ruffled his hair affectionately and grinned at him. "I think someone needs to lie down before he falls into his food. Come on, your mother has been working on a surprise for you."
Han followed him, curious, as David led him to the door of the storage room off the kitchen.
David stepped aside and pulled Elizabeth forward. "It's your surprise, you show him."
He could see that Han and Elizabeth were uncertain about each other and he knew that this, more than anything else, would show the boy that his banishment had been a genuine mistake.
Elizabeth stepped forward a little nervously and flung open the door. She gently pushed Han inside.
The room had been cleared and turned into a bedroom - his bedroom, he realized. He walked into it, feeling a little dazed. He fingered the quilt cover and the curtains at the window. A small shelf held his books and on the window sill, he saw his collection of rocks laid out in a line.
He swallowed, trying to keep hold of his emotions, but having great difficulty.
The others were having similar problems, watching the boy walk around the room as if he was in a dream.
In a slightly hoarse voice, he managed to ask, "For me?"
Seeing David too choked with emotion to reply, Elizabeth said, "Yes, Han. This is your room now. I worked on it while I was waiting for you to come home. Do you like it?"
It wasn't perfect; she had to make do with items she could find around the house. She didn't want to use anything from Tom's old room. Han would just feel as though he was second best again, getting things only because of Tom's death. She didn't want that for him. She thought he deserved a room that was all his own, with no associations; a place that held no bad memories for any of them. Maggie had given her Adam's old bed - it was the best they could do at such short notice - but Han would never need to know that.
He ran his hand over the coverlet almost lovingly, admiring the pattern and the colors.
Maggie met his eye. "Your ma made that especially for you. She worked day and night. She said those were your favorite colors."
Elizabeth smiled. "Maggie helped, so did Leah. We had work quickly to finish it in time."
It was Maggie's turn to smile. "You're lucky your ma is fast at sewing! If it was left to me, you'd only have a pillowcase!"
Han gazed around the room in wonder. "It's wonderful. Thank you."
Elizabeth stepped forward and turned down the quilt. "Where's your suitcase, Han? We can unpack your things."
Han looked in panic at his uncle. He didn't want to tell her that he'd lost all the things they'd bought for him.
Caleb put his hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Han, it's not your fault."
David frowned. "What isn't?"
"His things were lost."
"What do you mean, lost? What happened?"
For the first time, they noticed the clothes Han was wearing; they saw that the jacket was shabby, the boots too large, and the rest of the clothes were worn out and ragged.
Caleb wasn't going to go into detail in front of the boy and make him relive those memories. "The orphanage lost his things. So, it's lucky there wasn't anything in there that couldn't be replaced, isn't it?"
Maggie saw the panicked look on Han's face and jumped in to help. "He was probably ready for new things anyway. The way boys grow at that age, it's best not to get too attached to anything."
David recovered himself enough to see what they were doing. "You're right, he was just about ready for some new things, wasn't he, Beth?"
"Yes… yes, of course. Quite ready." She tried to smile, but it was tight with worry.
Han still didn't look completely reassured, but he was really very tired by now. He gave an enormous yawn and looked embarrassed.
Elizabeth stepped forward and began to remove his jacket. "Han, why don't get into bed? You look exhausted."
He shot a worried look at the pristine sheets. "I'm dirty."
She gave a better smile this time, a more genuine one. "That's alright. The sheets can be washed and so can you, but both of you can wait until another time. I'm sure it won't be the last time you go to bed with a little dirt on you."
He smiled, too, at that, and started to take off his boots and socks. The others exchanged an approving glance at Elizabeth's response and decided to leave them to it.
David walked forward and kissed Han on the forehead. He wanted to stay beside his boy and not let him out of his sight, but he knew that Elizabeth and Han needed a few moments together. "Sleep well, Han. Sweet dreams."
It seemed very quiet without the others in the room. Elizabeth and Han still felt nervous with each other, neither of them being completely certain of the other's affection.
Elizabeth handed him a nightshirt and pulled the curtains closed, while Han quickly undressed and climbed into bed. Elizabeth straightened the sheets over him and tucked them in.
She saw him watching her. "I'm so sorry, Han. So very, very sorry. I didn't mean it to happen, I was so worried about you. I missed you very much and I'm so happy to have you back."
He didn't know what to say. I understand? I forgive you? He didn't. It wasn't a little mistake, it had nearly cost him everything. He'd thought that he was responsible for David's death, as well as others. He would never forget how he'd felt - guilty, abandoned and unwanted. He'd hated himself, thinking it was his fault.
He thought of everything that had happened to him in that brutal place. He wished he could forget every moment, but knew he never would.
What had happened to him there had left a mark on him; he'd been changed because of it. He knew he would never be quite the same after his stay there - he didn't know if he could ever feel safe or trust anyone again. The world was different for him now.
He was different now.
He'd been ready to give up. How could he say that it was alright?
He said the only thing that he could honestly say. "I'm glad to be back."
Elizabeth knew that she wasn't forgiven, that they would have to talk more about it later; but for now she could see that he was exhausted.
She brushed the hair off his forehead and leaned forward to kiss him. "Sleep well, Han."
He was asleep before she'd left the room.
When she returned to the kitchen, Maggie was pouring coffee for them all.
"I think he was asleep the minute his head hit the pillow."
David turned to Caleb. "What happened to him? Where are his things? I can believe they might have lost his suitcase, but what happened to the clothes he was wearing and his boots?"
Caleb sighed. "He's home now, David. Why don't we leave it at that?"
"I want to know! Just tell me, Caleb. Please."
He saw Maggie give a quick nod. She knew that he was trying not to distress them any further, or add further guilt to Elizabeth, but she thought they should know, if only for Han's sake.
"It was like a prison in that place. They put them all in the same clothes and these soft shoes that were more like slippers, really. I guess it's so they can't run away." He sighed as he realized that, however much he'd like to save them from knowing everything, they had to know a least some of what had happened to Han. "I guess I should tell you that when I got there, he was in the hospital wing."
He heard a gasp from David and saw Elizabeth go very white as she gripped her husband's arm.
"I imagine the journey was too much for him after the diphtheria. Apparently, he fainted the day he arrived, but he told them that he was just tired and hungry. Then he collapsed again a few days ago. They said he wasn't eating." Caleb met David's eyes. "He thought you were dead and that he was responsible."
David looked aghast. "Why would he think he was responsible?"
"Masterson told everyone that the outbreak started with Han and Peggy. It seems he shared his opinion with Han as well."
Elizabeth surprised them all by standing up. "I never thought I would be happy over the death of another human being, but I am glad that monster is where he can't hurt anyone ever again. Thank you for being here today, Maggie, and thank you, Caleb, from the bottom of my heart, for bringing Han back to us. I'm sorry, but if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and sit with my son."
She quietly entered the room and pulled a chair next to the bed. She stroked her hand through the boy's hair as he slept. He smiled in his sleep and turned closer to her. After a few minutes, she heard the sound of horses in the yard, and guessed that Caleb and Maggie were leaving. She was proved right a few minutes later when David came and sat beside her. He put his arm around his wife as they watched their son sleep.
