The next few days flew by in a blur. The backyard barbeque went without a hitch and Sam won my friends over as easily as he had me. He was the kind of guy that when you're in high school you actually aren't afraid to bring home to meet mom and dad. In spite of how cheery things appeared I could feel the falseness of it all. Sam hadn't breathed a word about where he'd been, and we both steered clear of the subject of Cas. That night was the first since Sam had showed up that I wound up crying myself to sleep once again. Sam spent his days at the construction site, earning money the honest way for a change as he put it. After filling all the positions I found myself spending the days at the park reading, or people watching. It felt as though I was holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Max was curled up on the floor at the foot of my bed as I sat at the edge of my bed staring out the window. Sam knocked softly on my open door and I swiped away the tears on my cheeks.

"Hey."

I tried to force a smile but found I couldn't. Turning away from the window I fluffed a pillow up against the headboard and rested my back against it. Sam sat at the opposite side of the bed facing me as I hugged my knees to my chest. The pain inside was unbearable tonight. Perhaps it always had been, and I felt so selfish knowing whatever I was suffering was nothing in comparison to what Sam had went through.

"I'm sorry. I can't begin to imagine what you've been through and here I am crying over a broken heart."

"You don't need to apologize. I've been there too. You miss him?"

Tears running down my cheeks all I managed was a weak nod. He scooted closer and took my hand in his.

"We've sorta just been avoiding all this huh? Guess we're both a little like my brother."

I laughed at just how true that was, and knew he was missing Dean as much as I missed Cas.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I shrugged. "Not much to say really. Someone gave him a can of Red Bull and he was gone. He chose that over staying here… with me. Sorta stupid on my part really, pretending it could end any different."

I noticed how tiny my hand was in his as his callused thumb massaged the back of the my hand. Soft ticking of the clock at the bedside could be heard while I waited for him to say something. Minutes ticked by like a ghost. When he rose to leave I stopped him.

"Stay…I don't need you to tell me what happened to see you're broken like me."

That night we fell asleep atop the covers facing each other. My hand in his.

Over the next couple of months things were as normal as they could be. We'd stopped acting as though life was just peachy, at least when it was just the two of us. He still hadn't spoken a word about what had happened, and by now I knew he either wouldn't or couldn't. He needed his brother, and I hoped he'd talk to him soon. If he could talk to anyone about what had happened it would be Dean, after all he'd been to the pit himself.

I had started work at Carly's and found getting back to something I loved was therapeutic. By the time we both returned home we were exhausted. We'd eat over small talk, sometimes squeeze in time for a little tv before bed. He hadn't slept in his room since that night two weeks ago, it had become a habit. Two wounded souls seeking solace in one another, hoping to somehow help the other heal.

That night Max stood whining at the back door, thinking he was ready for his nightly run about the yard I opened the door to let him out. When he wouldn't budge from my side I talked soothingly to him, thinking an animal or something he'd heard had him spooked. When that didn't work I went out and peered into the backyard. Not finding anything out of place I left the door slightly ajar and looked up at the night sky.

"Hi."

Recognizing the voice instantly my eyes searched the darkness. Taking a few steps out of the shadows of the trees I finally saw him.

"You might want to rethink that whole sneaking up on people. I'd hate for you to loose your wings by giving someone a heart attack."

At the sound of my voice Max had came out and stood guard beside me.

"What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you were safe."

"Well you've done your duty so you can go now. As you can see I don't need a babysitter." I patted Max's head proving my point.

"Looks like you already have more than enough." he said looking from Maximus to me.

"Castiel." Sam said putting his arm around my shoulder, joining us. Max looked from man to angel, then back to me questioningly.

"Sam." Castiel said returning his cold greeting.

"Give us a minute here Sam?" He pursed his lips angrily and returned to the house, Max at his side.

"You're going to fly off and tell Dean now aren't you?"

"Why would I do that when this is the life he wished for?"

"That's rich, really. That's like saying I wished for a life without you. So unless your memory is as shot as your feelings I'd say you're full of it."

"I didn't forget." he said, his voice almost inaudible.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. "You made your choice Castiel."

I turned to leave and about plowed him over when he pulled one of his little magic shows. My blood pressure reaching its peak I could almost feel the steam coming out of my ears.

"I didn't have a choice." His words caught me off guard, and I felt the anger draining away.

"Looks like you're the one who forgot, not me."

"What in the world are you talking about?"

He looked towards the house.

Sam?

He didn't seriously think…

"You know what they say about assuming things."

Tilting his head in confusion reminded me some human terms were lost on him. That happened to be one of them.

"I assume he thought the same or he wouldn't have just left."

Looking back at the house it didn't look any different, not that I really expected it to.

"Sam wouldn't just leave like that…"

And just like that he was gone. At sight of a sheet of paper laying atop the kitchen table I knew Castiel was right and Sam had left. Folding the paper in half I went up to my room and sat cross-legged atop my bed. Turning the paper in circles I tried imagining the possible reasons for his departure. Maybe it was just that he was in a hurry to go pay his brother a visit before Castiel did. Not that driving, even over the speed limit, would get him there faster. Unfolding the paper I began to read.

Bree -

I'm sorry that this is the way you have to find out & I'm sorry for leaving this way. I could say I'm on my way to see Dean, but that'd be lying & I don't want to lie to you. I know Cas isn't going to tell him or Bobby, I know you're probably wondering how I know & if I could tell you I would.

You called yourself a fool for loving an angel. If that's true then I guess the same can be said about me loving you when you still aren't over Cas. I don't hold any bad feelings against you for that as crazy as that might sound. When I lost Jess it was final & after time I got closure, you're left with the unknown. With things up in the air & him being able to just pop in whenever he feels like it you may never get over him. Maybe you don't want to. As your friend I understand, really I do. I just wanted you to know you have another option, me. I know you didn't see me that way before, but now that I've put it out there at least you know & can consider it.

I'll check in to make sure you're okay from time to time & if any trouble comes your way you can always call. Just know that I'm not leaving you in the sense which Cas did. For what it's worth I think he's an idiot who chose wrong & if you chose me I'd never leave you. I'm leaving because I don't want to be a stress in your life when that's the last thing you need right now. - S.W.