Hey, Hey, my lovelies!

Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter and who has stuck with me for this long You're great!

It's a bit of a surprise for both me and you in this chapter. Certainly wasn't what I was expecting to write

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! UNFORTUNATELY…D:

Without further ado…Enjoy!


Chapter 11

Blast from the Past


Chris' Point of View

A couple of weeks passed after that night my 'father' and 'brothers' gate crashed my house. Thankfully, I haven't heard from them since but that didn't mean they were constantly watching me. Whenever I went to the beach with Paul, Seth and their friends and the Elders, Josh was constantly staring at me as if he could place some sort of mind control shit on me. He may have been able to do that to Sam and Embry but not me. There was no way he, or them, were getting into my head, dictating what I was going to do with our 'situation' as Josh had no started to call it, according to Paul.

Embry's wife had a little boy. They name him Hector, God knows why though. Don't get me wrong, he's a cute kid from the minute glance I caught of him and from the picture Rachel brought home with her and I have nothing against the boy, just his father. I mean, I haven't even met his wife either. I don't even know her name. That's how disinterested in his and Sam's life I am. All that I cared about was the fact that Embry had come back to work at the garage. Not only did I have to deal with them around the Res but now, also at work. Fuck, I was almost begging to spend my whole time at school just to escape their fucking eyes.

Jacob had been keeping him in check for me but it wasn't working. I could feel his eyes on me for the entirety of our shift when I come after school and it was grating on my nerves. He needed to get a life or perhaps redirect the attention he seemed to be giving me to his new son. Paul had caught onto my increasing irritation towards my 'brother' as did Jake. He'd even taken to speaking with him in the break room at least twice a shift but nothing was working.

And something else that wasn't helping my irritation with most things lately was that I was fucking hot. Everything I did had me breaking out in an intense sweat and it was pissing me off. I didn't even sleep with a comforter or pillows on my bed anymore, I was that hot. Just the other day, I had thrown a wrench at the wall because it was the wrong size to what I needed. Jacob had just played it off, telling me to take a break but I felt that there was something seriously wrong with me.

I saw the looks they were giving me, like they were waiting for something to happen. Rachel had also become very…maternal almost. She flapped around me like a mother hen, as if she felt there was going to be something happening to me soon too. Josh has been looking at me with more concern every day this week and I just felt like everyone was talking about me all the time, even going as far as to hear people saying my name in the distance, or perhaps I was just imagining things. I wouldn't put it past me.

I was tired, pissed off, hungry and hot all the time, especially these past couple of days and it was affecting my concentration not only at work but at school. I wasn't able to tell you anything I'd been lectured this week. All I've been able to concentrate on was the pulsing inside my torso, as if something was building. It was freaking me out. I only hoped that it would pass soon, otherwise something was going to break, whether it is me, an object or someone's face.

"Chris? Hello, earth to Chris." Paul called, waving a hand in front of my face. My eyes snapped back into focus, seeing his and Rachel's concerned gaze on me. I tried to smile reassuringly across the dining table before looking back down at my plate. I hadn't really touched anything, despite how hungry I was. I saw Rachel eyeing my plate as well.

"Chris, what's up, Hun? You haven't eaten a thing." She sighed, pushing my plate towards me. I sighed and pushed it back, standing from the table.

"I need to get out of here. I'm too hot and I don't feel like eating at all. I'll see you guys later. I'll call if it gets too late, okay." I called behind me as I walked towards the door. I glanced at my jacket and then the sky. It was going to rain soon but I was so hot that I didn't doubt the rain would evaporate before it even touched my skin. I glanced once more at the jacket before shrugging and opening the door, snatching up my keys, iPod, Helmet and phone. Just as the front door shut behind me, Rachel and Paul called out to me, trying to get me to wait.

I walked briskly over to my bike, mounting it as I fixed my helmet in place. I inserted the key into the ignition but didn't start it just yet, reaching behind me for my riding gloves. I started pulling them on until I caught a glimpse of my hand. I frowned, still mesmerised at how fast the burn had healed on the palm of my hand. It healed a lot faster than I expected it to, or even faster than I'd ever healed before. But still, I wasn't complaining. The days after doing it was torture not being able to ride my bike. I was grateful to be able to now.

I pulled my gloves on the rest of the way before poising to start the ignition, kicking the stand off so I was on two wheels, when the front door open and Paul stepped out. I sighed, sitting back up in the bike and taking my hand off the ignition. I could hear the lecture coming before it even started.

"Chris, where are you going? Rachel's worried and we both think that you shouldn't be out on your own." He said, moving to stand in front of my front wheel. I sighed, cocking an eyebrow.

"Paul, I can take care of myself. What's going to get me out here? Big foot?" I asked, mockingly. He huffed a laugh.

"Something like that." He mumbled. I ignored him. "Seriously, it's not safe for you to be on your own right now, Chris."

"Paul, I'm not a little kid. Stop treating me like one. What's your problem?" I sighed, defensively. Paul could sense my growing annoyance and backed off a little.

"Nothing, Chris. We're just worried about you, is all." He replied, softly. I watched him for a minute before my eyes narrowed.

"You know what's going on with me, don't you?" I accused, guardedly as I watched his face harden, as if he was trying to keep from giving himself away. Little did he know that that's exactly what he did.

"No, of course not. We're just worried."

"Why are you worried? What reason do you have to be worried?" I asked, still watching. He hesitated.

"You're not eating."

"So, I'm not hungry."

"You're picking up a fever."

"So, you have one too. Don't think I haven't noticed it with all you guys."

"You're not sleeping very well."

"I live alone and have a lot on my mind. Sue me."
"You're irritated all the time."

"That's because I have three assholes breathing down my neck and a douche of a brother who doesn't know when to leave things alone." I almost growled in defence. I was vaguely aware that I had called him my brother but right now, I didn't care to feel much about it. A smile crossed his face before he became serious again.

"Just please come back inside. Talk to us. Don't go out." he almost pleaded, which confused me. What the hell was he so worried about?

"You know what, sometimes, you baffle me Paul. Sorry, I need to ride." I replied, quickly switching on the ignition and revving the engine. He stood firm in front of my wheel. I glared. "Paul, dude, seriously, don't."

"Just come back inside." He said calmly. I sighed heavily.

"No, I want to ride. You're not my father; you can't tell me what to do. Fuck, my father can't tell me what to do so who are you to try?" I bit, angrily. I revved the engine again.

"Paul, just let him go." Rachel shouted from the porch with a blanket wrapped around her middle to fight of the chill.

"Rachel, go back inside." Both Paul and I replied, before glaring at each other. She sighed.

"Paul, if he wants to go, let him. We can't boss him around." She called calmly. Paul didn't move. I revved the engine. He still didn't move. I revved and started forwards but was jolted to a stop when he grabbed the handlebars. I growled.

"Let go."

"No, just come inside." He replied, as calm as day. I glared.

"Dude, seriously, I'm not in the fucking mood for this right now. Get the fuck out my way." I shouted, pushing against his hands. We stared at each other for the longest time before he sighed, letting his fall slack from the handlebars before stepping to the side. I revved the engine and without another glance back, I peeled away from the Meraz house, pissed and fucking hot.

I didn't know where I was driving to for a long tome but ended up at the beach parking lot. I sighed, looking out at the waves before shrugging. I dismounted my bike and took off my helmet, propping it up on the bike seat before moving towards the sand. On impulse, I took off my boots and socks, letting my bare feet hit the sand. I sighed at the feel of it and smiled slightly. Nothing beat this feeling. I walked up and down the beach for a few minutes, occasionally looking out at the ocean and James Island. It was pretty late, at least six in the evening but I didn't care. All I cared about was being with my own thoughts for a while.

Eventually, I flopped down into the sand, my feet in the small ocean drift as I sat with my knees bent, and my forearms resting on them. My head bowed a little as I peered out at the ocean some more, enjoying the breeze and the silence.

I had the feeling Paul knew what was going on with me. Hell, even Rachel. I knew without a doubt that Jacob did and Josh. The looks they gave me, it made it obvious. The fact that they hadn't told me about it yet just pissed me off. Well, I wouldn't have given Josh the chance but Jacob, I thought that maybe, in some small, infinitesimal way, we were friends. Kind of. I mean, I was too sunny for me but I didn't dislike the guy. Still, this was practically my health here. I expected him to tell me. Why were they hiding it? What was it?

I begged my head to get away from that subject matter. I didn't have the energy to think about it anymore and all it was going to do was piss me off some more. Instead, my thoughts drifted to someone else. Seth had become a constant in the Rachel, Paul and Chris trio now. The only reason why he wasn't at dinner this evening was because he had 'errands to run'. Whatever. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't disappointed he wasn't there but then…that was a lie.

I couldn't even believe the track my thoughts had taken with Seth. He was a great kid. Well, I suppose I was the kid between us but not by much. But then, I was always more grown up than my years. I had grown up a fucking lot. Too much. I already felt like an old man that's seen two wars and the loss of his wife. I had my good days and bad days with this whirlwind of emotion and plaguing thoughts but there was one thing that was constant – Seth.

Even if I was having a bad day, he was there, trying to make conversation and jokes when I wasn't particularly interested. Even when I tell him to get lost, he stayed, ignoring me until he thought up his next joke. It was like he was trying to cheer me up but was failing miserably. I knew it; he knew it but he kept trying. Somehow, that meant more to me than I was willing to acknowledge or admit. Paul gave up trying to cheer me up after I'd thrown a glass at his head last week. That was a bad day. He knew to steer clear now. I had the feeling that Seth wouldn't give up even if he'd been the one the glass had been aimed for, not that I could ever throw something at him. Seemed like sacrilege.

There was just one part of me, the part that was still very much alive from living my past as I did, that prevented me from truly getting to know Seth. I had gotten to know Molly and look how that turned out. Deep in my heart, I would never risk someone else like that again but my soul was begging me to acknowledge the obvious fondness he seemed to have for me, to embrace it. I just couldn't. it was detrimental to his health, even if it meant my unhappiness.

What would he do with a guy like me anyway? His days would be filled with the misery that always surrounded me and he would have to deal with my secret past because let's face it; there was no way I was corrupting and tainting such an amazing mind like Seth's. He didn't deserve those images. He was so much better than me, deserved someone who could make him smile and laugh with everything they said. He deserved to be loved, which I wasn't capable of giving him. He deserved someone with a future that was going somewhere, not a miserable mechanic that has no other prospects in life other than to crawl in a hole. I didn't deserve him. Seth just didn't seem to get that though.

"Um…excuse me? We were looking for the Tyler household? We didn't want to disturb you but there's no one else on the streets right now and you're the first person we found." A pleasant, warm voice asked behind me. It was vaguely familiar but I could pin point from where. I nodded.

"Yeah, there's a storm about to hit. People tend to stay inside for those." I answered dryly before something struck me. Did she say Tyler household? As in me? Why the fuck was she looking for me? Frowning, I turned around in curiosity, struck dumb by who was standing in front of me. My eyes widened and I shot to my feet in shock. They were frozen, staring at me as if I was phantom. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Stood right before me was my last foster family in its entirety, plus one. Makenna Marvin stared at me with tears in her eyes, wrapped in Scott's arm as he hooked a baby carrier in his other arm. Hayley stood behind him and Greg the other side of his mother. My heart was beating out my chest and my breathing had picked up drastically. I was dreaming. I was sure of it. What were they doing here? How the hell did they know where I was? The last incident that happened whilst I was with them shot through my head and I had to lower my gaze, suddenly unable to look at any of the in the eyes, especially Hayley.

"Chris? Sweetie is that you?" Makenna whispered, stepping forward slightly. I took a step back, afraid of hurting her somehow. She was too good to be in my immediate proximity. She stopped short but ducked her head, willing me to meet her gaze. I looked in the other direction, refusing. "Chris, Hon, it's us. Makenna, Scott, Hay-"

"I know who you are." I croaked and cringed at the tone of my voice. I didn't sound like me and my eyes prickled suddenly. "Wh-What are you- Why are you here? How did you find me? What-"

"We missed you, Son. We wanted to know how you were, how you were getting on with your life." Scott interrupted, stepping forwards with Makenna. Hayley and Greg stayed where they was, looking at me with wide eyes and wonder. I couldn't look at them. I swallowed reflexively.

"But why? Why now? You should go." I mumbled, turning away from them, back to the ocean.

"Like Scott said, Sweetie, we missed you. Why did you leave Chris? Why would you do that to yourself?" Makenna sighed, tearfully as she moved forwards again. I turned swiftly and held a hand up. She stopped.

"Don't, please? Just…stay away. I can't…I can't believe you're here. How?" I asked, brokenly.

"We phoned the orphanage that we were sent back to after a few months without you at home but they said that you didn't want to talk to us and then you emancipated yourself. We missed you, I missed you, Chris. I wanted you back. I practically begged mom and dad to help me find you. Greg missed annoying you." Hayley's sweet voice replied and I shut my eyes against it, blocking it out. She shouldn't even be near me, let alone speaking to me. She was too good. Too good! I was bad; I'd corrupt her.

You know you will. You should tell them to leave. My inner voice chanted, angrily.

"You need to leave. You shouldn't be around me. Please, just…go back home. Forget about me, please?" I pleaded, backing away slightly. I felt the water at my heels and glanced back.

"We're not leaving, Chris. It took so long to find you but we did!" Greg exclaimed, walking forward. I scrambled back.

"No! Don't come any closer. You'll get hurt." I croaked. Makenna shook her head, tears falling from her eyes.

"Chris, Honey, no we won't….What have you been through?" she whispered to herself and I was pretty sure that I wasn't supposed to hear her.

"You really shouldn't be here." I whispered, closing my eyes and wishing them away. Someone approached me, laying their hand on my arm and my eyes snapped open. Then I was staring into pools of deep brown and a smile that was aimed at me. Hayley stood next to me, as calm as can be, despite the condition she last saw me in. I gulped loudly, trying to back away from her but she wouldn't allow it.

"We're not afraid of you, Chris. It's our choice to be here so you can't send us away. We just wanted to see you, tell you that we miss you." She told me, softly. I shook my head. "I missed you, big brother."

My throat closed up at her endearment and my eyes drifted shut as she moved into wrap her arms around my waist. I was still as a plank of wood, not knowing how to act with her, in case I hurt her. She hugged me tightly, not willing to let go. Greg rushed up and joined in and jolting the both of us a little. To my surprise, he started crying. When I was ten, I wouldn't be caught dead crying but then, my circumstances were different to his. He wasn't disheartened to show any emotion.

"Chris?" Paul's voice shouted up the beach and my head snapped to look at him jogging towards us, glancing at the family in front of me with curiosity and guardedness. Hayley and Greg reluctantly pulled away to allow Paul at me, who pulled me into his own, tighter hug. I sighed and leaned into him, glad for some familiarity in this whirlwind of surprise and shock. He pulled back and assessed me critically. I smiled at him slightly, hoping to be reassuring but I doubt that I was. His eyes narrowed then and he turned on the family standing a little ways away, keeping his arm securely around my shoulder. "I don't' mean to be rude, but who the hell are you?"

Scott stepped forwards and offered Paul his hand. "I'm Scott–"

"Marvin. Scott Marvin." I murmured into Paul's arm, still shell shocked that they were even here, that they had found me. Paul tensed beside me as he peered down at me in confusion. I nodded, knowing where his thoughts were but he had to ask just to make sure.

"Marvin? As in your last foster family Marvin?" he asked, shocked. I nodded, refusing to meet the other's gaze.

"He told you about us?" Makenna asked, surprised. Paul turned back to her and I felt him nod.

"Yeah…I know everything about his past. I'm the only one here who does, apart from my wife." He explained, hesitantly as if he didn't know whether he should tell them this.

"Everything?" Hayley asked, concerned. I nodded. "Wow, okay…"

"He's become like a little brother to me and my wife. A good friend to our friends as well." Paul continued, glancing own at me. I just wanted to get out of here. As if sensing my thoughts, Paul said, "We should get out of here. It's about to storm and I don't really wanna be caught up in it."

No one said anything but we silently made our way back to the parking lot. Paul was still fixing me to his side, protectively with an arm around my shoulder. The Marvins moved over to their car and hopped in. I was vaguely aware of Makenna securing that same baby carrier into the back seat. When did she have another baby? Paul led me over to his truck but I paused.

"What is it?" he asked, confused. I looked over at my bike. "No, no way. You're not riding. I shouldn't have even let you go in the first place. I'll put it in the bed. Just get in the car."

I sighed but nodded, not having the energy to argue with him. I watched from the cab of his truck as he wheeled the bike to the back, helmet hooked on his arm. The Marvins were watching curiously from their car and quickly looked away when Makenna waved at me. Paul hopped into the truck a few minutes of silence later and as he started the truck, he waved for the others to follow him. I almost wanted to be angry with him for giving them a reason to stick around but I'd be lying if a part of me didn't want them to. I had missed them as much as they'd missed me. But they could still get hurt…

We pulled up to my house and I frowned over at Paul. He smirked at me. "Rach wanted you to be comfortable when you got home so we came over here before I came to get you." He explained, turning off the engine before popping open his door and stepping out into the light drizzle of rain. I hesitated before getting out, unsure of how this was going to go down but I did a minute later, shutting my door loudly. Rachel's face appeared in the living room window and I waved at her. I could see the relief clear as day on her face.

"Wow, is this your house?" Greg asked Paul, staring up at the big house in front of him. I smiled and Paul shook his head.

"Nah, this is Chris'." He replied, walking towards it. I followed after him.

"Chris'? Why would you need such a big house?" Scott asked, perplexed. I shrugged, not answering him any other way.

"Chris, thank God. You've been out for ages." Rachel scolded as she pulled me into a hug. I sighed and melted into her, still surprised how she and Paul would disarm my whole defence system with one hug. "Don't you do that to me again!"

"I'm sorry, Rach." I mumble, apologetically. She glared before smiling, nodding once in satisfaction. Then she caught sight of the others walking through the door at Paul's invitation behind me. I tensed.

"Oh, who's this?" she asked, smiling welcomingly but also shooting Paul a cautious but curious glance. He sighed.

"These are the Marvins. Just a family from Chris' past." He explained, gesturing them into the living room.

"Why are they here?" she asked, suspiciously as her grip on me subconsciously tightened around me, protectively. I smiled slightly.

"I don't know. I just found Chris with them. What are they doing here?" Paul asked, confused. I shrugged.

"They said they missed me but who knows. I don't want them here, Paul. Please send them away?" I pleaded, not having the energy to talk with them.

"Why don't you just hear what they've got to say. Maybe they're just passing through?" Rachel suggested, gently.

"Who 'just passes through' La Push? It's so far out the way." I scoffed, shaking my head. She shrugged.

"I still think you should talk to them." She repeated, calmly.

"I can't. It just…brings up so many memories that I want to forget. I don't want them here; make them leave, please?"

"No, I think you need this, Chris. Even if you don't talk to them tonight, let them stay and talk tomorrow or the next." Rachel said, stroking my arm. I shook my head.

"Fine, but not tonight. I'm too tired." I sighed, exhaustedly. She nodded in understanding.

"Okay then, I'll go tell them. Can they stay in the guest rooms?" She asked, unsure of my reaction.

I hesitated, weighing the pros and cons of having my ex-foster family sleeping down the hall from me. I really didn't want them here, where I could potentially hurt them but then, having them here was kinda nice, like a blast from the past, one of the very few good ones I could possibly have. Did I really want to send them away with the risk of never seeing them again, without telling them how much I appreciate everything that they did for me? Could I let Hayley leave without...apologising? And Greg, he was crushed when I left last time. He'd probably end up hating me if I was the one sending him away. Maybe deep down I knew that would be a good thing, the more he hated me the I was less likely to be around him and therefore, hurt him but my heart didn't want him hating me.

"Chris?" Paul brought me back to the present. They were both looking at me expectantly. I shrugged.

"I dunno. What if they already sorted something out?" I mumbled reluctantly. Rach smiled.

"Well, that'll be that but can I offer? Would you mind?" she asked. I nodded, reluctantly. I couldn't expect them to drive out in the storm brewing outside. "Okay...Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Try to get some rest, yeah?"
I leaned down so that she could kiss my forehead, something I was still growing accustomed to, before she left the room. I blocked out her conversation with my ex-foster family, fixing my gaze intently on the marble of the kitchen work top. I was vaguely aware of Paul still standing in the room as well as his intense gaze on the back of my head. I prayed that his heavy footfalls were walking away from me rather than towards but my prayers were set aside when I felt his hand rest on my shoulder. I tensed slightly but he moved closer still, guiding me to st on a stool at the island before taking the one next to me. I fixed my gaze on my hands in my lap, unable to meet his gaze.

"Talk to me." Paul ordered, calm but in a tone that left no room for arguments. I sighed, my head dropping lower. He pushed my forehead gently, coaxing me to look up and meet his gaze but I couldn't. "Come on, Man, stop this. Your family comes back and suddenly yu can't talk to me anymore, what's up with that? It's just me and you, come on."

"They shouldn't be here." I sighed, reluctantly. I knew he wasn't going to drop this. I might as well cooperate, especially if I wanted any sleep tonight.

"Why? Did they do something to you when you were with them or...?" he trailed off, leaving me to fill in the blank. My eyes widened and I finally looked up at him, shaking my head vigorously.

"God no! They were...great. The nicest foster parents I've had in my life, by far." I murmured, lowly. Paul shrugged, confused.

"Then what? If they were so great, why do you want them to leave?" he asked, gently. I sighed.

"I...I don't..."

"Go on. It's just you and me, just us, come on." Paul encourage, patting my shoulder. I looked up at him.

"I don't want to hurt them." I whispered, chokingly. Paul frowned, confused and probably disturbed by my answer. I looked back down at the floor, awaiting his reaction.

"That's it? Wait, why would you hurt them? I don't understand." he sighed, not frustrated with me per se but with himself for not understanding me. I shrugged.

"Everyone I'm around gets hurt one way or another." I mumbled. I glanced up at Paul's face to see understanding finally flash across his face. I looked back down and let the silence grow between us. Then he finally sighed again, heavily.

"Chris...such an idiot." he whispered more to himself. I left the comment alone, knowing I wasn't supposed to hear it. "Chris, listen to me, you do not hurt everything you come into contact with."

I snorted. "Really? Yeah, right. Come on, Paul, don't lie to me. I know what I'm like. I destroy everything I get my hands on." I groaned, lowly. He shook his head and climbed to his feet, exasperated.

"So what about me and Rach? You've become like a little brother to the both of us but we're not crumpling to the floor in pain. The only way we'd get hurt in regards to you is if you were to leave without telling us,, well no, to leave at all and if you were hurt in anyway. Fuck, I wouldn't even be hurt if we said some nasty things to each other that would otherwise be unforgivable but I know how you are. You say things in the heat of the moment which I know you'll come to regret when your head is on straight. I know you a lot better than you give me credit for, Chris.

"And I don't think you're capable of hurting them at all." he finished, resolutely. I looked at him doubtfully. "Don't look at me like that, okay? I see the way you look at them. It's like you owe them everything. And Hayley, I could practically feel the protective vibe coming off you in waves, Dude. There's no way in hell that you're capable of hurting her. I know what this comes down to Chris and that's all the loss you've seen in your past. Your parents, both your mom and your dad, even though he's still here. Your grandmother. Molly and even the Marvins when you were sent back to the orphanage.

"It boils down to the self-doubt and worthlessness that you've developed for yourself in this absences but you're not alone anymore. You can't make those mistakes again, Chris because you have people around you who care. Fuck, even Josh and your brothers care to a degree, if they've gone through this much trouble to try and talk to you but let's not get into that, it'll only piss you off. You've changed, Chris. You're not that same guy who came here a few months ago.

"Stop living in the past and start thinking about the future, a part of which is sitting in the living room right now, anxiously waiting for a word from you. They drove here to see you because they missed you, Chris. How many people from your past can you solidly say would make that trip for those reasons?" he asked, softly.

I stared at him. That's all I could do as my thoughts ran rampant in my mind. He posed good questions and spoke reasonable words, I had to admit. I had changed since coming here, even I could see that but had I changed all that much? Had I really lost the ability to destroy everything that I had. It took two years to destroy Molly. I hadn't even been here three months yet. There was still plenty of time to do the damage that I seemed to be the expert in.

I thought back to what Paul said about the only things hurting him would be me leaving or being hurt. I highly doubted that...but then, we'd grown so close in such a short time Paul got me, he understood me better than anyone else has, ever. I've told him more about my past than even Makenna. I doubt if I wasn't capable from destroying anyone, it would be him and his wife, which will most probably extend to their kid, whenever he or she decides to graces us with its presence.

The future. He said to start thinking about my future. What future? Surely that was just a pipe dream now, wherever it would end up taking me? I could possibly amount to much, could I? Then there was that possibility of...(fuck it hurt even to think about)...love, maybe. Who was I kidding? Who'd love me?

Seth...

My mind jolted with surprise as his face and name ghosted through my mind in response to that question but then that was out of the question. Seth was out of the question. I wouldn't let him that far in. he was someone that I would most probably hurt in the long run and I couldn't possibly do that, not to Seth. I shook my head, ridding myself of all thoughts regarding Seth, though it was harder than I thought it would be.

"Seth, dude, where did you go?" Paul's voice broke through my revelry and I looked up, startled. He frowned, concerned as he held my shoulder, comfortingly. "Hey, listen, I didn't mean to upset you. I just...I hate it when you put yourself down like this. You're so much more than what you give yourself credit for."

"But I'm not." I sighed. He chuckled.

"Like I said, more than you give yourself credit for...Head up to bed, Chris. Get some sleep; you look like you need it, Bro." he laughed, punching my arm. I groaned before glaring at him, which only made him grin back at me, satisfied with himself. His face turned thoughtful and he hesitated.

"Spit it out, Paul, I don't have all night." I teased, smirking.

"Why don't you say something to them? Perhaps reassure them that they aren't wasting their time, or something?" he suggested, lowly. My smirk dropped.

"You think I should?" I asked, regretfully. He nodded, sincerely. I sighed and climbed to my feet, sluggishly. "O-okay...fine."
He smiled and nodded, silently following me towards the living room, where the Marvins and Rachel still sat around. The conversation hushed when they saw m and the grin on Makenna's face grew.

"Chris...Thank you for offering to put us up for the night. We came over here in a rush and didn't sort anywhere to go tonight so thank you. You saved us a lot of hassle." she said, smiling brightly. I'd gone the last year without that smile but I found that I missed it. A lot. I smiled back, slightly.

"Um, sure, don't mention it. Erm...i just, wanted to tell you that, uh, I'm going to hit the hay and I'll...uh, talk to you tomorrow...if you want." I spluttered, nervous about being near them. Scott grinned and Hayley and Greg nodded their heads, smiling also.

"That would be perfect, Son. You go ahead and get some rest. You look beat down." Scott replied, nodding. I nodded back, awkwardly before smiling at Rachel. She leaned up to give me a hug.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Little Bro." she said before pulling me down further so that she could whisper in my ear. "And I'm so proud of you. Now go, sleep."

"Alright. Night Rach, Paul...everyone." I tacked on, making my way to the stairs. I knew one thing for sure, I was going to hate getting up in the morning.


The scent of coffee permeating through my bedroom was what woke me in the morning and my eyes snapped open. I groaned, slamming them back shut again at the brightness of the room. Fuck, I bet I forgot to close my curtains last night. I was exhausted. Squinting my eyes, I threw the covers away from me, rubbing my eyes vigorously in an attempt to focus. I walked briskly over to the window and drew the curtains shut, feeling the immediate relief of my eyes. I stood in the middle of my room like an idiot, suddenly unable to think of what to do. Shower, need to shower.

I walked to the bathroom silently, half in my own world as I stood under the spray, the cold water like an electric shock but it felt so good against my overheated skin. I never thought it would be possible but I was even hotter this morning. It was ridiculous. I must have spent at least 20 minutes in the shower before I stepped out and dried myself, not that I had to do much. The heat evaporated all the water. I towel dried my hair as I trod back into my room, another towel wrapped around my waist. I opted for shorts and no t-shirt, which reminded me of how all the other guys and Paul dressed daily. I snorted to myself and pulled on a white tank top as well.

I seemed to be blissfully unaware up until the point I walked into the kitchen. I stopped dead in my tracks as I was presented with a sight that I'd thought I'd forgotten. Hell, I had seen up until a year and bit ago. Everyone across the room seemed to halt as well at my entrance and my gaze swept across them all. Kenna was stood by the double stove, flipping bacon on one hob and scrambling eggs on the other. Scott was pouring what I was sure to be his third or even fourth cup this morning. Hayley and Greg sat at the table, waiting patiently for their breakfast with glasses of milk sat in front of them. Ha, Greg even had a milk moustache.

Silence seemed to lull between us all and I swallowed thickly. I wasn't' ready to face them all so early in the morning. Shit, I forget that they were even here! I glanced around the kitchen, vaguely noting Paul and Rachel's absence with a small frown. They wouldn't really leave me here with them, would they? Surely not.

"Chris, Honey, come and sit. I'll make you some breakfast. I'm sorry if you don't want me in here; it's just that they kids were hungry." Kenna explained, sheepishly. I thawed out a little, smiling tightly at her as I rigidly made my way to the table. I pulled a chair out beside Greg and sat awkwardly. This was all too surreal.

"Uh, no…that's fine. I can't expect you to, erm, starve, or whatever." I mumbled, glancing up at Scott as he placed a cup of coffee in front of me with a smile. "Thanks."

"No sweat. I see you still like to lie in." he chuckled, leaning against the kitchen counter beside the stove. Kenna smiled at him. I bit my lip and shrugged.

"It's a Saturday. Thought it was customary." I murmured. They laughed.

"For most, yeah." Scott agreed. I smirked.

"Where's, um, Paul and Rachel?" I asked, confused. Didn't they sleep here last night? At my question, something passed over Kenna's face as she turned to look at me, wide eyed.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you! Paul had to take Rachel to the hospital this morning. Her waters broke." She informed me, calmly with a sheepish smile. I sat ram rod straight and stared at her incredulously. She forgot to tell me that? Really? "Sorry, I'm a bit slow this morning."

I shot up from the table as soon as her words truly registered with me, my face panicked as I worried about Rachel. I raced to the phone, dialling Paul's number.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked, frantically. Beeping from the receiver told me Paul was on the phone already and I sighed, hanging up before dialling again.

"Chris, Paul said not to let you worry and that he'll call you." Scott told me, calmly. I shook my head.

"She's not supposed to be in yet! She still has month to go." I replied, concerned. Beeping on the phone again. I growled and slammed the phone down on the receiver before walking briskly to the front door. I snatched up my keys and wallet, hooking my arm in my helmet before taking off out the door for the second time in two days.

"Chris, come eat first. She'll be perfectly fine." Kenna called after me but her voice trailed off as the door slammed shut behind me. This time I didn't' hang about. I shoved my helmet on, barely strapping it before my bike was soaring down the street towards Forks.

I can't believe he wouldn't wake me up for this! She was my fucking sister and she's a month early! Why wouldn't he tell me? Unless…they didn't' want me there. My bike slowed down at the thought and doubt crept into my mind. Was that it? Did they want me out the way whilst she went into labour? Did they think I'd be…a danger to the baby? Unexpected pain coursed through me as the thought came to mind and I shook my head. No, this was Paul and Rachel. They wouldn't think that…right? My bike slowed some more.

That has to be it…They didn't want me there. Why else wouldn't they wake me up? Sadness coursed through me as my bike came to a stop. I placed my foot down to stop me from falling and hung my head slightly. I didn't expect it to hurt this much…but then, when you let people in, you set them up better to hurt you. Fuck, I should know this and yet, I let it happen anyway. I'm such an idiot.

In that moment of realisation, a car zoomed past me, in the direction of Forks. It passed a few metres before the brakes slammed on and then Seth's head popped out the passenger side window. My heart sped up and I swallowed hard. He frowned before hopping out the truck, walking towards me.

"Chris? What are you doing here? I thought you'd be there already." He asked, perplexed. I shrugged.

"They didn't wake me up." I mumbled, lowly. He frowned.

"Okay…so you're heading up there now, right?" he asked. I shrugged. "But you have to. They'd want you up there."

I gave him a doubtful look. "Would they?"

"Of course they would. Don't be so silly. You're their little brother." He assured me. I shook my head.

"Then why wouldn't' they wake me up?"

"Maybe it was too early and they wanted to let you sleep. We only just got a call from Paul saying to come down. She's still in labour but she'll be pushing soon." He informed me. He called them first?

"I dunno…Maybe I should just go home and wait for him to call me as well." I mused, unsure. Seth shook his head and shoved my shoulder.

"You're being oversensitive again, like always. Come on. Just follow us." He ordered, smiling. I bit my lip but nodded, unable able shake the uneasy feeling of going without invitation. He smiled and walked back to the truck. Jacob waved at me from the driver side and I gave a half-hearted wave back, starting the bike again. I only hesitated slightly when they started to drive off, even then Jacob beeped at me to follow, leaving me without any choice, not really. I sighed and started off after them.

Doubt was ever present and stronger as we reached the hospital parking lot and I pulled into a space, turning everything off slowly as if to stall. Jacob pulled into the space beside me and grinned like only he can as he jumped out.

"You ready?" he asked, excitedly. I smiled and nodded, unsure. He clapped me on the shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it, okay? Rachel will want you here, as well as Paul, I'm sure of it."

"I'll take your word for it but I wouldn't be surprised if he sends me on my way. I shouldn't have come without invitation." I mumbled. He sighed and placed his heavy arm across my shoulders, steering me towards the hospital entrance.

"Just come on and stop being a baby." He teased, grinning down at me. I rolled my eyes and Seth giggled beside me. I smiled just a little bit at the sound.

I hated the smell of hospitals. Too sterile and it was too bright and warm, which was doing nothing for my heat problem. But I'd spent so much time in them that my resentment went deep. I felt like I had a permanent scowl on my face whenever I entered one. I'm sure that this time was no different. We quickly got directions to the maternity ward and walked quickly and excitedly up two floors. Doubt was still on my mind but excitement was quickly growing in too. I can't believe it was finally happening, even though it was a month early. I hope they were both alright.

"Hey, we're looking for Mrs Rachel Meraz?" Jacob said at maternity reception just as Paul came walking out a room. He beamed at us when he spotted us.

"Jake, Seth, Chris! Over here." He called, flagging us down. Jake smiled at the receptionist before walking over to Paul with Seth. I hung back, doubtful more than ever.

"How is she?" Seth asked, excitedly. Paul grinned.

"She's great actually. The midwife said it was going to be an easy and quick enough birth. Rachel's not in too much pain, thank god." He chuckled. His whole persona screamed happiness and excitement right now and I couldn't help but smile. He looked at me a little sheepishly. "Hey, I was actually coming out to call you. Sorry we didn't' wake you up. She was nowhere near ready to deliver and you'd have only been standing around out here if you'd come with us. I figured you'd hate that since you hate hospitals and I also that you'd want some beauty sleep."

He didn't' wake me up because I thought I'd want to sleep; even though my sister was giving birth. Was he crazy? I appreciated his other reasoning though. I probably would have hated waiting around. I already wanted to get out of here but didn't because I wanted to see Rachel.

"See, I told you he'd want you here." Seth laughed, wrapping an arm around me shoulder. Paul looked between us, confused.

"Why would you think I didn't want you here? Jesus, you're an idiot." Paul laughed, pulling me into a headlock. I chuckled and pushed him off me. "What, did you think that because I didn't call we didn't want you here?"

"Something like that."

"Yeah, and I knew you were having doubts on your way here. Why else would you stop on the side of the highway?" Jacob chuckled. Paul cocked an eyebrow at me and shook his head, amused.

"Yeah, such an idiot." He repeated. I glared at him.

"Yeah, I caught that, thanks." I snapped, playfully. He smirked.

"Excuse me, Mr. Meraz?"

Paul spun around fast with an eager look on his face. "Yeah? What's up?" he asked, rushed. The nurse smiled knowingly.

"Rachel's ready to push now." She informed him and my heart dropped to my toes at the information. Shit, this was really happening. Paul's face lit up drastically and we had to chuckle at him. He raced back into the room without another word to us and I shook my head.

Looks like we're about to welcome another Meraz in the family…


Okay, so I guess you know what's coming in the next chapter I hope you enjoyed it!

Who saw the Marvins turning up? I certainly didn't. they gate crashed my mind and forced me to write. :P lol

Please be kind enough to leave a review! Thanks for reading!

Love,
MrsWolfPack
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