Sorry for the long wait time! I am still writing, I promise! My schedule has gone completely bonkers and I've retreated into granny-mode and started tucking myself in bed at 8 at night to cope with the craziness. This chapter is a tad shorter than some of its predecessors but I felt like it had to be included separately because the topic just got dropped with all its loose ends for several months in the anime and Ema never really reflected on it. Plus, there's more Iori here for those of you who requested him! I'm actually really looking forward to posting the next chapter because the parts with Iori came out so easily. Until I did a little background research, I didn't realize how many subtle hints there are in the novels... or at least the summaries I've read :P It's a lot of fun finding out more. No spoilers though, so just check back and it'll be up soon!
I wake up to the sunrise, my head still pillowed against the armrest of the sofa. My limbs feel heavy and I don't want to get up just yet.
"..Subaru?" I peek through my lashes in his direction, wondering if he's already awake. But he's gone. I raise my head and look around, noticing with a pang of warm surprise that the duvet is carefully tucked around me. Subaru must have put it over me when he got up. I smile to myself and pull it closer. I can still smell the faint trace of his aftershave and last night's memories come flooding back.
I sneak back into my room and silently deposit the duvet on the bed, hoping that Juli won't pick up Subaru's scent when he wakes up. I know he only means well, but I have a feeling he'll overreact if he finds out what happened and the last thing Subaru needs is to be attacked by an angry squirrel first thing in the morning.
After showering, I feel much more awake. I make a fruit salad for breakfast using the leftover strawberries and my eyes slide to the window of their own volition. In the sunlight, it's hard to imagine that Subaru was tied to the oak tree only a handful of hours ago, and even harder to imagine that he was saying my name in his sleep and holding me against him. It could almost be a dream, except for the white ropes still laced haphazardly around the trunk. I touch my lips with the tips of my fingers again, wondering for the millionth time what happened last night.
"You're up early." A voice behind me causes me to jump and scatter berries across the counter. To my surprise, it's Iori who quickly catches a handful of the fruit before it rolls onto the floor.
"So are you," I tell him. He offers me a smile and a shrug.
"I went to sleep rather earlier than the rest of you." He's still dressed in his pajamas - a grey t-shirt and a pair of loose dark blue pants. I'm used to seeing him look so put-together all the time, but even in the mornings his hair falls perfectly across his forehead.
"I was going to go out and do a bit of weeding this morning since the weather is so nice... would you like to come with me? I won't make you do the actual work, of course," he tilts his head at me but my eyes are already glazing over at the prospect of being useful.
"I'd love to help out in any way I can," I tell him enthusiastically. I'm already half out of my apron when he catches my hand with a soft laugh. His touch is feather-light and so brief I almost wonder if his hand brushed mine at all.
"Let me help you here first," he insists. "I'm so rarely awake when breakfast is being prepared." He deftly gathers and re-washes the mixed fruit while I watch in silence. I notice he moves with a kind of silent grace. It's no wonder I didn't hear him enter the kitchen.
We load up two plates of fruit and I pour tea for the two of us as we sit at the counter to eat. Breakfast is silent except for the occasional light clink as a fork hits the plate. Eventually, I sneak a look at him over the top of my teacup and see a thin silver necklace glinting around his neck in the sunlight. But more intriguing is the light, barely-noticeable scar against the side of his neck. It follows the pattern of the chain almost exactly and I almost ask him about it... but then his eyes meet mine and I recognize that same wistfully sad look from yesterday evening. With him looking at me like that I don't have the audacity to pry and I simply offer him a smile, which seems to lighten his mood a bit.
We leave the bowl of fruit and a tray of vanilla biscuits in the fridge for the others and I agree to meet Iori in the garden as soon as he changes into clothing more appropriate for the outdoors.
Outside, the breeze is warm and the sun is shining. I take my shoes off and let my toes settle into the grass as I watch the leaves rustle. The sound of footfalls and heavy breathing distracts me and I catch sight of Subaru rounding the corner, topless and covered in a sheen of sweat. He slows when he catches sight of me and after a moment of hesitation I walk up to meet him on the pavement.
"Not even a hangover stops you for long, huh?" I smile up at him. His face is red, although whether it's from my compliment or from his morning run I can't tell. He wipes the sweat off his brow with one toned forearm and I can just barely see the outline of the letters Tsubaki and Azusa scrawled across his forehead the night before.
"I haven't missed a workout in years. But today was hard," he admits sheepishly between heavy breaths. "About last night... can we talk?"
"Of course." I nod and we both make our way down the circular path. His stride is longer than mine and I watch the muscles shift in his back as he paces in front of me.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know my words hurt you last night, and... and I'm not very good at this." He finishes lamely. He looks so flustered that I want to hug him and tell him to just stop trying to apologize. But with everything that happened between us I decide against the idea and stay silent as I watch him flounder for words.
"I don't remember everything from last night," he tells me. He looks around the garden for a moment, avoiding my gaze, and I see his eyes catch on the sight of the ropes around the tree. "But I remember enough." This time he's definitely blushing and I feel my own face heat up in response. "I.. um. I fell on you, and..." a small frown tugs at the corners of his lips... the same lips that trailed tingles down my neck last night and took my first kiss. But he couldn't know that last part, surely. He'd probably feel even worse if he knew. I hope he doesn't find out.
"And you helped untie me from the tree. That must not have been easy." I laugh at the memory and his eyes search my face nervously.
"For the rest of my life, I'm not sure I'll ever understand how I managed to get you back to that sofa," I tell him, doing my best to alleviate the tension written all over his features. He cracks an apologetic smile at this, but it's quickly replaced by a serious expression as he continues.
"You took care of me last night, more than I had any right to ask you for. If you ever need anything at all, tell me. I'll do my best to take care of you." There's a strange intensity in his eyes and I find myself realizing just how honorable Subaru really is as he stares at me evenly. Then his cheeks color and he drops his gaze again.
"About the other things that happened..." I thought he looked uncomfortable before, but he seems to flounder around for several long moments before just staring at me forlornly. I can't stand the sight of Subaru looking so lost, so I throw my arms around his shoulders, which is about as high as I can reach, and hug him. Clearly this isn't the reaction he was expecting because he stands stock still as if waiting for a meteor to strike.
"It's okay," I tell his shoulder. "I know it was just an accident. I figured that had to be it or you wouldn't have kissed me."
"An... accident." He still seems shell-shocked, but his hands find their way to the small of my back and he gives me a light squeeze.
"You had a lot to drink. You thought I was someone else, didn't you?" I raise my head to look up at him and his expression is almost comical. He looks so perplexed. Did I interpret it wrong? Maybe he doesn't remember any of it after all. His hands drop back to his sides and I step back to gauge the look on his face nervously.
"Ema, I..." Something from behind me catches his attention and I turn to see Iori striding up the path toward us. Subaru's face falls as his eyes meet mine again.
"... I did have a lot to drink. I must have thought you were someone else. I'm so sorry." I'm surprised to feel my stomach drop in... disappointment? That can't be it, surely. But he took my first kiss and... and he was thinking of someone else. Somehow that hurts, even though I turned it over and over in my mind last night. Even though I convinced myself that was what had happened, hearing him say the words leaves me feeling sore and empty somewhere deep inside. I bite my lip and stare at the ground for a second before I can will myself to look back up at his face.
"I thought that must be it. I understand," I can't let this complicate things between us any more than it already has. It wouldn't be fair of me to make him feel any worse. So I offer him as bright a smile as I can muster. His face still looks sad and guilty and something in the pit of my stomach twists uncomfortably as I watch him nod and walk away down the path without a second glance.
"Is everything alright?" I hear Iori's voice behind me on the path and push my thoughts to the back of my mind as I turn and smile at him.
"I was just teasing Subaru about running with a hangover," I tell him, a smile firmly plastered on my face. I don't want to make him worry, and what I say is partially true. Out of the corner of my eye I see Subaru resume his jog and disappear around the corner of the building.
Poor Subaru... wonder what he would have said if he hadn't seen Iori approaching? :o
Please leave a review and thank you for reading! Next chapter won't have such a long wait time :)
