Chapter Twelve: Learning Harry's Past
Lily and James watched Harry depart about twenty minutes later to return upstairs and shower and dress for the day, leaving the four adults amidst cold breakfast muffins and warm pumpkin juice.
Silence settled over the kitchen, and suddenly it was if the brief happiness present only a moment ago had left the room with their son. The silence stretched on, as Sirius and Remus were trying to read any emotions that Harry's departure might have wrought.
"He's very quiet," Lily said eventually. There were so many thoughts moving through her mind that it was the only thing she could vocalize, first and foremost the worry that they had somehow let down his expectations.
Remus smiled knowingly, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back into his chair. "It takes him a while to warm up," he told her finally. He seemed to understand exactly what her words did not convey. "Don't worry, he'll get used to you in no time."
"He can be guarded, especially around unfamiliar people," Sirius added. "But he's a good kid, with a big heart."
"…You don't think we were too familiar with him?" James asked him.
Sirius smiled. "No, he was gradually getting comfortable. …Just the way his eyes shone when you addressed him was enough."
"I would just give him more time," Remus said to the worried parents. He smiled. "After all, it's not every day that your dead parents turn up alive. He's heard a lot about you, and now it's up to him to sort out those thoughts."
"You should hear him when he's with Ron and Hermione," Sirius said amusedly, after a beat of reflection. "They can barely stop for breath. Very talkative then."
"Or argumentative, rather," Remus amended for him. "Though I suppose Ron and Hermione argue more with one another than with Harry, as demonstrated by these past couple days." Sirius chuckled.
"Has Dumbledore left out anything?" James asked abruptly. "Regarding Harry, I mean?"
"What do you mean?" Sirius' tone was suddenly careful.
"I sense there are things that have been left out," James replied.
Remus drew a breath. "We didn't want to inundate you with too much to worry about all at once," he admitted. "We've held out some details, yes."
"What have you not told us?" Lily glanced from Remus to Sirius and back, trying to examine their expressions closely to get any glimpse of an answer that she could.
Remus drew in a breath. "I don't know if we should leave this to Dumbledore or…"
"The whole Order already knows," Sirius said. "For the most part. Lily and James should know as well."
Remus nodded. "Dumbledore's explained to you that Harry and Voldemort share a connection. Well, Dumbledore was not referring solely to the fact that they have become kind of enemies over the last few years. He was also referring to their mental connection. It… appears that they have some kind of a mental link between them."
James looked alarmed. "Telepathic, or…?"
Remus shook his head. "I don't know if it's telepathic or anything, but it seems that Voldemort has passed some of his powers to Harry that night in Godric's Hollow. Harry has some abilities that suggest such a connection took place and is still present today."
"Like what?" Lily asked him, though she was dreading the answer.
"Harry's a Parselmouth, first of all," Remus replied. "He can speak to snakes."
James and Lily were stunned, and Remus gave them a moment to absorb the information before he continued.
"That's not all," he said. "He has dreams of Voldemort. They can sense one another's emotions. Harry's scar hurts when Voldemort is experiencing a particularly powerful reaction."
"They can see into one another's minds?" Lily glanced from Remus to Sirius, looking for some sort of sign that it wasn't true.
"We… we don't know," Sirius replied honestly. "We don't know how well aware Voldemort is of this connection, and we don't know if he will ever try to possess or take control of Harry's mind."
"Possession?" echoed James, looking pale. "Is that possible?"
"Dumbledore fears so," Remus replied.
"Do you remember the prophecy?" Sirius said to Lily and James, causing their heads to snap from where they'd been fixed on Remus.
"Trelawney?" asked Lily.
Sirius nodded. "The one who is born as the seventh month dies," he said. "I can't remember most of it. Dumbledore thinks that Harry's the one."
"The one?" echoed James. "The one who'll overthrow Voldemort, you mean?"
Sirius nodded, his expression grim. "That's what Dumbledore thinks, at least. Of the two boys, Voldemort has singled Harry out. Harry's the one he's after. Harry's the one who's faced him and survived. Harry's the one who has become so closely bound to him."
James removed his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. "Is Dumbledore sure?"
Remus gave him a sympathetic look. "When is Dumbledore ever wrong?" he said softly, as Lily shook her head and twisted the wedding ring on her hand.
"He was scratching his forehead," Sirius told them. "Did you notice? It means he's been dreaming again. He writes me sometimes, telling me that his scar hurts. Dumbledore's been convinced for a long time that there's more to that scar than meets the eye."
"The Order believes that Voldemort's after a weapon," Remus said. "We think that it might be the prophecy. Dumbledore thinks that he wants to listen to the prophecy in full this time, so he cannot make the same mistake as last time."
"Which is why we're guarding Harry so closely this year," Sirius said, ignoring the flash of anger in Lily's eyes. "One to whom the prophecy does not belong cannot remove the prophecy from the Department of Mysteries-"
"Wait," James began. "What does the Ministry have to do with-?"
"The Department of Mysteries holds the prophecies. Thousands upon thousands of prophecies. We… we think Voldemort might try to get Harry to retrieve it, because Voldemort himself can't waltz into the Ministry, not when they're so conveniently denying his return."
"You're saying he might try to possess Harry's mind," James finished, his expression cold.
"Not necessarily," Sirius said, looking uncomfortable. "Voldemort is an expert Legilimens. He's been known to plant ideas in his victims' minds. Possession might not be necessary."
"These are all Dumbledore's theories," Remus said, in an attempt to lessen the blow of the words and soothe the angered parents. "We don't even know if Voldemort would be able to invade Harry's mind, or even if he is aware of the connection."
"But when is Dumbledore ever wrong?" Lily quoted back at him. Remus looked weary.
"I'm sorry," he said. "It's just a concern. We're simply trying our best to keep Harry safe."
"And does Harry know?" Lily asked him.
Remus shook his head. "None of it. It's a topic of disagreement within the Order, whether or not Harry should be told, or whether he should be allowed to live in ignorance."
"He should be told," Sirius said outright.
"But some would argue ignorance is sometimes for the best," said Remus.
"Remus!" barked Sirius.
Remus' jaw bunched. "Sirius, you know I agree partly with you. But Molly has valid reasons, and Dumbledore hasn't agreed that we should tell him, either."
Sirius looked away angrily, shaking his head. "That sort of information shouldn't be kept from him."
"Harry can be rash," Remus said. "We both know that. If he finds out that there's a prophecy about him, his curiosity could override his sense and he might go looking for it."
"You don't trust him."
"I don't trust Voldemort," Remus corrected him, firmly, "Who has been known to manipulate the minds of even more accomplished wizards."
Sirius was silent at that, though his jaw remained bunched. Remus looked apologetically at Lily and James.
"Sirius and Molly argue over how Harry should be parented," Remus told them.
"And who else has he got?" Sirius said brashly. "His damn relatives don't very well take care of him."
Lily drew back suddenly, looking a bit hurt.
"Sirius," Remus said warningly.
Sirius took a breath, calming himself.
"Sorry, Lily," he amended. "I… don't like your sister much. They don't treat Harry right. …Ron says that one year they had to rescue him because his uncle put bars on his windows and a cat flap on his door, and locked him inside… as if he was an animal or something. I guess I know what it feels like." He ran his fingers through his hair, and suddenly the strain of the years was evident on his face. "I would have taken him in, if we had managed to catch Pettigrew and end this whole bloody affair."
James looked down into his lap. "Sirius," he said, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry. If only we'd thought it through."
"It was my idea, James," Sirius said, a bit firmly. "And no one's to blame but Pettigrew. And he'll get what's coming to him. He'll be sorry. The next time I see him will be the end."
"He was at Hogwarts a few years back," Remus told Lily and James quietly, "Pretending to be Ron's pet. We don't know what he was planning, but we think he was biding his time, waiting in hiding until Voldemort could come to fetch him."
"Rat," snarled Sirius.
"He escaped when Sirius came after him," Remus said quietly, looking ashamed at the ferocity in his friend's tone. "Went straight to Voldemort, and aided in his return this summer."
"He cut open Harry's arm and took his blood," snarled Sirius. "After all this time, after Harry saved his life, after he had betrayed his friends, he had the effrontery to touch him."
Remus looked weary. "He and Barty Crouch's son were the ones to do it," he told them. "You remember Barty Crouch Jr.? Ravenclaw? Two or three years below us? He spent last year pretending to be Mad-Eye… Polyjuice Potion. No one suspected. He was the one who put Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire – you have heard of the Triwizard Tournament-?"
"They didn't have Harry competing in that!" Lily's eyes flashed dangerously, and her volume was steadily rising.
Remus looked uncomfortable. "I'm afraid-"
"He's fourteen!" shrieked Lily.
"There was no other option," Remus told her. "It was a magical binding contract. Crouch did it so that Harry could be transported straight to Voldemort. He put a portkey in one of the tasks, and Harry was taken straight to the graveyard where Voldemort was resurrected. They needed his blood to complete the spell."
James looked sick, Lily livid.
"He was tortured and forced to duel Voldemort after that. Dumbledore said he only survived because their wands joined at the core. Apparently he and Voldemort share brother wands. Phoenix core."
James pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I'm sorry," Remus said to them, seeming to notice that both appeared distraught. "I know it's been hard. We're worried too. We worry about him. We worry that he doesn't always tell us everything; he tends to underestimate danger." Remus looked apologetic, and he shook his head in regret. "He just craves a normal life. That's why Mrs. Weasley is so reluctant to tell him all of this. It's because he's never really been able to have a childhood."
Lily barely managed to nod; she didn't seem able to meet Remus' eye.
"This is where the Order is currently?" James asked them, drawing his head from his hand. His voice was a bit hoarse.
"What we've told you, yes," Remus replied. "We're currently organizing patrols to stand watch at the Department of Mysteries, in order to keep out anyone who might try to break in."
"There's another meeting today-" Sirius began.
"Yes, Remus told us," James said.
There was an uncomfortable pause.
"…I'm sorry, James," Sirius said. "If I hadn't suggested that we choose Peter, none of this might have-"
"Sirius, stop it," snapped James. "It's not your fault; stop blaming yourself. None of us knew."
There was another pause. James lowered his head.
"Look, I'm sorry, Padfoot," he said. "I don't blame you. I just… it's just difficult to hear about all of this."
"That's why Dumbledore thought it would be best to give you a few days to adjust," Remus said softly. "With all that's been going on, it's been a lot for you both to take in."
"We're getting better," James said. "We're getting used to the idea. I think the sooner that we set up a home again, the better we'll feel. Right now it's like we have nothing. It was all at Godric's Hollow… gone now."
Sirius looked like he was about to say something, but shut his mouth before any words could come out.
"Don't worry about Harry, James," Remus said quietly. "He'll come around. He was happy to see you both. He cares a lot about you." Lily glanced in his direction at those words, her eyes finally softening. "He realizes your sacrifice, and I think a part of him is afraid he won't measure up to your expectations." Remus wet his lips with his tongue, glancing downward where his hands were folded on the table. "We are glad to have you back in the Order," he told them both. "We need you more than you know."
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