Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
For someone else.
The Middle – Jimmy Eat World
Chapter 12
The sun was out today, an unusual day for Forks. Unfortunately, that meant there was no school. And there was no way I could away from what I knew was coming.
"Bella? Is that you?" I heard Edwards familiar voice call to me. "Go away!" I screamed with my head in my hands. He changed me. He was the one who had turned me into a vampire and had left me to live eternity on my own.
"Bella, I'm so sorry. Please let me explain!" He called. I had spent the rest of the night in the meadow, not wanting to go back to the stupid shed. I heard his footsteps on the grass, and he took a seat next to me.
"Go away Edward. I don't want to hear it." I mumbled, bringing my knees up to my face and wrapping my arms around my legs. "Please, Bella, please let me explain." He pleaded.
I didn't budge. He sighed, and from the corner off my eye I saw that his eyes were filling with tears aswell. "I never thought it'd end like this, you know." He said, putting his hands behind him. "I never thought we'd ever see each other again." I turned away from him, still not wanting to look at him.
"Bella I know your hurt, but please, please let me explain." He said, touching my shoulder. I had a very strong urge to push his hand off, but I left it there, somehow feeling comforted. I sighed, and turned to face him.
"Why Edward? Why did you change me and leave?" I said, looking deep into his eyes. I could tell he was looking right back up, a sad expression crossing his face.
"I might aswell tell you the whole story, because some of it wont make sense if I don't." He said. "Please do." I mumbled.
"It all started when I woke up. I was in the house we live in now, and everything was dark. I felt different. But it was a good different. I didn't know if I was dead or if I was dreaming, but I soon realized that it wasn't a dream at all." He paused, remember something.
"Carlisle was in the room, waiting for me. I asked him what I was doing here, and why I was here, and he told me everything. All about vampires, the laws, the gifts, everything. Despite everything, I was very angry at Carlisle. He had made me leave an eternal life without asking permission because he was lonely. I knew that if I came back that it would hurt everybody, not to mention confuse a lot of people, including you."
"But I didn't leave. Not for a few days anyway. Each day I came to the meadow, in hope to find you here and tell you that I was still alive. And then, on the last day, I did. But when I saw you, I didn't know what to do. You looked so upset, so broken, I didn't know if it was the right time. I decided to not tell you, and started to turn away…" he looked at me directly now.
"But then I smelt your blood. And it was the most delicious smell I have ever smelt in my life, and so mouthwatering. I could barely stop myself from killing you right there and then, but instead I bit you and instead of sucking all the life out of you, I put venom." I shuddered at the thought.
"All I could hear were your screams and cries for help, and all I wanted to do was to turn back and eat you, drink your blood because it smelt so delicious. But I didn't. I knew I could never, never forgive myself if I killed you Bella. Never." My heart fluttered a little, and I didn't know what expression was on my face at that moment in time.
"Then that Angela girl came for you. You told her what was happening to you. That was the moment I realized I could read minds, because I read hers loud and clear. Go get her help. She's going crazy. She thinks she's turning into a vampire, which spells pretty crazy to me." My mouth fell open.
"I knew if she got you help they would of figured out what was happening to you and it would be broadcasted around the whole world. The secret of our existent rested basically in this girls mind, and I knew that if I didn't stop her then there would have been a lot of trouble."
"I planned to confront her when she went to get you help, but when I did she recognized me straight away. I was so thirsty, and I knew if I didn't drink soon I would of went back for you, which I knew I couldn't do. So I drank Angela."
My eyes opened wide. "So that's why she didn't come back? Because you killed her?" I asked, breathing heavily. "It was a painless death, I owed that to her. But you have to understand Bella, if anyone ever found out about us, our whole world would be destroyed. People would want to be us, and people would want to burn us. I couldn't let you be the one to spill the secret."
"Wow." Was all I could say. Alot of questions had formed in my head, but i forgot most of them when the one that had been bugging me most came back to mind. We sat in silence for a few moments why I processed this all. "But I don't get it Edward. Why didn't you come back for me, when I was a vampire? We could of went on were we left off." I said, confused.
He sighed at this. "Bella, this is the question that haunts me the most. Why didn't I come back for you? Because I was scared of what you would think of me. I was scared that you were going to be angry and upset that I led you into this life." "Edward, I was your best friend. I could never of been angry with you. All I ever wanted was to be with you, to be the best friend I could to you."
"I realize that now, and it would have to be the biggest mistake I have made." He said. Then, suddenly, he started pulling up his coat sleeve. I gasped.
On his wrist he wore the green friendship bracelet that we had each gotten from him on his 17th birthday. "I have never taken it off." He said, twisting it around.
I lifted up my sleeve to reveal the same bracelet but in blue. "I have it off occasionally, but only because I couldn't. I was asked about it, asked about the material, how much it was, everything. And i couldn't tell them, because i didn't know. It made me too sad. I really missed you, more then you could imagine." I said, looking down.
He lifted my face with his cold palm, so I looked at him. "Where have you been the past 90 years?" I whispered. He smiled softly. "Around. I have been to high school 10 times, and I can tell you, after the 3rd, it gets extremely boring without you. Especially biology." He said, smiling his crooked smile.
"I lost interest in Biology after my 4th time of high school." I said. He looked surprised, but nodded. He laid down on the grass, so he was staring up at the blue sky, sparkles glittering everywhere on him.
I did the same, but turned my head so I could look at him. After a minute or so, he did the same thing. We stared deep into each others eyes, and it was at that moment that I realized what I realized a long time ago but was to afraid to admit to myself.
I was in love with my best friend. And I knew that was not going to go down well with his girlfriend.
