I kinda had Ho Hey by the Lumineers in my head when I was writing this.
And I hope I didn't overhype on Twitter.
I loved writing this. Hope you enjoy!
Moments
"Where ya goin?"
Olivia slid on her tank top, searched the floor for some bottoms, found a pair of shorts, and put those on as well.
"The TV's still on and I need water," she looked at him seductively.
Ed listened. Sure enough, the opening credits of the movie played on a loop. What movie was it? He thought. It was one of Brooke's suggestions. Oh yeah. Mr. Holmes.
Fictional detective stories, for Ed at least, were always a bad choice. He could never immerse himself into the plot because he constantly critiqued the action, but Brooke insisted they watch it.
It's Sherlock Holmes, Dad.
Beginning with the very first scene, Ed pointed out problems with the plot, Olivia tried to justify the writers' creative slants, and it wasn't long before Tucker was comparing Holmes' detective work to Olivia's, with bias of course.
You would have handled that better.
You would have been more sympathetic.
That would have never happened if you were on the case.
Ed obviously had zero interest in the movie and Olivia suspected his incessant commentary was intended to distract her to the point where she gave up, too. It worked, but she went about proving it slowly.
Olivia lightly massaged his leg near his knee, an innocent gesture seemingly intended to quell his complaining.
He slouched so her hand inevitably moved up along his thigh.
"You're so bad."
"I thought I was good?"
"Right now, you're not behaving."
"I don't like this movie."
"Give it a chance. Brooke will want to talk about it."
"I'll tell her we fell asleep."
Olivia's fingers worked at his thigh more aggressively.
Ed, pretending not to notice, balked at the screen, "Now they're in Japan?"
"It's a flashback."
"I can't focus on this right now."
The kiss began aggressively; Ed wasted no time with the little introductory pecks. He dove right in, working his tongue deep into her mouth; Olivia did her best to kiss back, but he was on top of her now and she became wedged helplessly between the couch cushions. Ed pressed himself against her, grinding his hips slowly and then with determined ferocity.
Soon, she was so far jammed that he couldn't get a good grip around her, so he had to pause.
"Lemme help you." He extracted her.
"Thank y—"
His lips smashed back into hers.
….
Olivia turned off the television and smiled as she restored the couch to its orderly norm, straightened the end table and a dining chair, both of which had been knocked out of place as they ambled their way to the bedroom. She downed a glass of water, peeked in at a sleeping Noah, and returned to Ed.
"What took you so long?"
"I was gone for two minutes. Tops."
"It was longer," he insisted and pawed at her shorts.
"What are you doing?"
He moved one hand under her shirt and smoothed her hair with the other. "Trying to get you out of these clothes."
"Oh. Well," Olivia deftly removed her shirt, "here."
"You're too good to me," he rumbled. In a second, his mouth was on her chest, but he continued talking. "Tell me what you want."
"Mmmmm."
"I'll do anything."
Olivia shuddered as he ran his fingers lightly along the side of her torso. When he hooked the waist of her shorts he tugged them off.
"Liv, I love you."
"I love you."
"I mean it. I will do…Any. Thing. For. You." He was at her neck now, then her ear, then the neck again, then the other ear.
"I know. You already have."
"I have?" He stopped to look her in the eyes. He was on top of her now, propped on his elbows, mere inches from her face.
She narrowed her eyes in disbelief.
He still didn't get it.
"What?" He asked.
"You're my family," she spoke firmly and with finality. "You don't have to prove anything. You're my lover, my best friend, the person I trust most in the world…and you have no idea how happy I get when I see you with Noah."
Olivia swore she saw the relief physically exude from Ed just then. His facial muscles relaxed more than she had ever seen and his eyes danced with energy and excitement.
She grinned. "Also you saved my life."
"That was all you."
"Still."
Yes, their pillow talk included the usual expressions of affection but also reminders of tense hostage situations in which Benson had a gun held to her head. Completely normal. For them.
"I wanted to shoot that motherfucker myself."
"When's the last time you shot somebody?"
"When I was still with ESU. Do we have to talk about this now?"
"You brought it up."
"I'm changing the subject." He resumed kissing her, this time on her mouth, vigorously, while moving his hands all over her body wanting to touch her everywhere all at once.
"Ed!" She shrieked with pleasure.
He laughed and kissed her at the same time. "Shhhhh."
…
Olivia and Brooke sat side by side at the kitchen island. They were in the middle of a Face Time call to Sarah who frowned as Brooke told her the plans for the New York wedding shower.
"It is my shower," Sarah whined, "and I get to choose the guest list."
"We have to invite mom."
"I'll tell Jeff's mom to invite her to the Philly one."
"You're kidding, right?"
Olivia, the voice of reason, interjected, "Sarah, she'll find out about it. This shouldn't be a secret."
"I'm not asking you to keep it a secret. Look guys," Sarah stared seriously into the screen, "She and Dave already said they were paying for the honeymoon. That's enough involvement."
This was news to Brooke and Olivia. They both gaped at the expense.
"Well, that's, uh, nice," Brooke said.
"Wow," Olivia added.
"Oh," Sarah said breezily, "It's really not that big a deal. She said it's leftover from the college fund so she thought I should have it." Sarah spoke the last part trying to mimic Angela's tinny, petulant voice.
"She got a lot of scholarships," Brooke explained out of the corner of her mouth.
Sarah heard anyway and bragged, "I'm actually very smart! Test scores through the roof," she wiggled both index fingers upwards.
Olivia smiled admiringly then returned to the task at hand. "Why don't I just skip it?" She suggested graciously. "Your mother should be at your shower, and I don't want to be the one making things uncomfortable for everyone."
Both Brooke and Sarah shook their heads.
"It's not you," they said almost simultaneously.
Sarah continued, "I want to have a good time. And you met our mom. She's not exactly a good time and I honestly don't think she would want to go. She doesn't like things like that."
"In her defense," Brooke retorted, "Nobody likes wedding showers. Or baby showers."
Sarah conceded the point. "And I get to endure two."
"Two rounds of gifts," Brooke reminded her.
"Right," Sarah's eyes grew wide with curiosity, "Um, when is this shower again?"
"October eighth," Olivia replied, "About a month before the wedding."
"Gosh we have a busy fall," Brooke remarked, flipping through her phone's calendar. "Dad's birthday next week, then your shower, then Noah's birthday, then the wedding, then Thanksgiving. It's like constant parties."
"I'm so excited!" They could only see Sarah's head, but it looked like she was bouncing up and down. "Have you told her?"
Olivia looked quizzically at Sarah and then at Brooke.
"No."
Sarah took the initiative, "Olivia, we want you to know we're really, really happy you're here and we love you so much! Love. You. And we're not just saying that."
Cue the happy tears.
Olivia hugged Brooke, and Sarah shouted, "I WISH I WAS THERE!"
Olivia wiped her eyes and, true to form, Brooke and Sarah accelerated on to other matters.
"Speaking of here, how did you get Jeff to agree to a New York wedding?" Brooke asked. "Or…maybe we don't want to know?"
"He knows how happy I am there, and the guest list is more my people than his, so it wasn't the battle I thought it would be. I told him he could pick where we go on the honeymoon."
"Where's that?" Olivia asked.
"Someplace warm. He's still researching."
"Really nice. A fall New York wedding and then the beach. Perfect balance," Olivia concluded. She noticed the time on the stove. "Girls, I have to go before day care puts Noah out on the street."
Sarah blew kisses. "Byeeeee!"
….
After dinner, Ed and Olivia took Noah to the neighborhood park and let him run around in the spray fountain with the dozens of other kids whose parents had the same idea for unwinding on this muggy late August evening.
"How'd it go with the girls today?" Ed asked.
"We set the shower date, October eighth. Brooke started the invitations. And we decided that Angela should be invited."
"Ok."
"Well, Brooke and I decided."
Tucker long ago made peace with himself about his failed marriage, but he had been unsuccessful trying to encourage Brooke and Sarah to do the same. Angela wasn't exactly the most affectionate mother in the world, but, from his perspective, she wasn't a bad or abusive parent. Her personality was just naturally introverted and austere. Ed could say the same for himself, except, in some instances, for the introverted part. Long ago, he'd chalked up the shaky mother-daughter relationship to a byproduct of teenage angst, but when they got older the continued iciness baffled him. Obviously, there was more to the story, but now that they were adults, he left it alone in part because he selfishly enjoyed the girls' partiality to him.
Ed's silence on the matter bothered Olivia. "Don't you think it's better to invite her?" She asked.
"It's Sarah's wedding. She should get what she wants."
Olivia agreed but still saw herself as part of the problem and she told Ed so.
He balked and sneered, "Angela is the problem. You," he looked her straight in the eyes, completely serious, "are most definitely not." Then he kissed her. "Let Sarah have her way."
"We also talked about your birthday."
"Oh? I guess it's not a surprise party then?"
"Sorry, no."
Ed put his hand over her forearm. A commotion on the opposite side of the spray fountain alerted him. "Hang on a minute, Liv." Ed popped up and walked briskly to where a shabbily dressed man, probably homeless, was ranting incoherently under the playground's monkey bars. The play equipment was packed with kids and the adults scrambled to grab their children. At the sight of Tucker approaching, shield in hand, their faces went from contorted with concern to thankful and relieved.
Oh thank God, a cop is here.
He approached the man carefully. "Sir, what are you doin?"
The man ignored Ed and continued screaming. Tucker made a call, and within minutes sirens blared and a patrol car was on scene to remove the man. Ed chatted with the unis a bit then made his way back to the bench, nodding to those who called out their thanks.
"He's on his way to Bellevue?" Olivia asked.
Ed nodded and seamlessly resumed the conversation. "So, my birthday?"
"Well, it's the Tuesday after Labor Day, and I have to work that weekend-"
He interrupted. "Tuesday is a terrible day for a birthday. And I never like it when you work on weekends."
"I know, but stay with me. So, Brooke suggested we take you to dinner Tuesday night and then Sarah and Jeff are coming in the next weekend to see some reception venues and to plan a bit. So, we'll celebrate with them, too."
"Sounds good."
"Do you want me to invite anyone else? Your mom or Margie and John? Cole?"
"My mom would probably like to come. But for the weekend. Not Tuesday—we'll have to pick her up and take her back to Riverdale."
Olivia sent a quick text to Brooke confirming the birthday plans.
A couple crouched at the end of their bench and prepped their daughter to head into the spray fountain. "Water cold?" the father asked.
"Seems to be ok," Tucker replied and pointed in Noah's direction. He was running in circles with a few other toddlers, "I don't think we'll get him outta there without a fight."
The mother lifted an infant from the stroller. "Do you mind if I sit here?"
Olivia scooted closer to Ed. "Not at all."
The girl looked hesitant to enter the fountain.
"Noah!"
At the sound of Ed's voice, Noah's head snapped to attention. He ran over. Ed pointed to the little girl, "Why don't you take," Ed looked up at her parents for a name.
"Elena," the father replied.
"Why don't you take Elena in the water with you?"
Noah looked at the girl warily, but then reached out his hand and she took it.
"Thanks," the mother said. "She's so afraid of the water."
"We just signed Noah up for swimming lessons…" Olivia and the woman traded toddler stories and tips until the sun started dip below the tree line.
Tucker was wrong. Noah left the fountain without a struggle, they wrapped him in a towel, and walked home with Noah taking in the streetscape perched high on Ed's shoulders.
…
The end of August and Labor Day weekend came and went uneventfully. Brooke lamented going back to work even though she loved her job. The long hot summer drew to a close with relatively few calls for SVU, none terribly intricate or time consuming, and Olivia's weekend on-call duty only ripped her out of bed once, on Sunday night, so she was able to spend some quality hours with Ed and Noah. However, a day later, Tucker's birthday, she and the squad were consumed with a disturbing uptick in Subway incidents which had started as indecent exposure cases but recently escalated sexual assaults. The case they were working was one of a young woman who had been groped on the 4 Train and then followed home and nearly raped before a neighbor intervened.
Ed had already planned to pick up Noah from day care on his way home, but instead of meeting Olivia back in the apartment, the boys would have to meet her at the restaurant. Tucker and Draper snuck out early for a birthday cocktail and then Ed went to get Noah. Day care pick-ups were an unexpected pleasantry for Tucker. He loved watching as Noah realized his presence and then dropped everything and ran to him, shouting "Tuck!"
By now, Ed was a regular on the kid-retrieval circuit. He gave a familiar greeting to the desk attendant and the teachers, plucked the backpack from its hook, and scooped up Noah.
"Ready for dinner, bud? You hungry?"
"Hey, Noah!" Ed turned to see a twenty-something man clad in a polo and khaki shorts smiling at them. In his arms was a boy Noah's age. In addition to thinking it was odd that the man called out to Noah and didn't simply catch up with them and strike up an adult conversation, Tucker also wondered what on Earth these millennials did for a living that afforded them the luxury of dressing so casually all the time. The man's attire was typical for younger day care dads. Maybe it was just this location. Still, Ed was intrigued.
The man introduced himself and his son, and they made small talk on their way out of the building. As they exited, the other boy grabbed his dad's face and asked, "Daddy where we going?"
Ed wasn't really paying attention to the answer, so he said his goodbyes and walked in the opposite direction. A few seconds later, Noah slung an arm around Ed's neck and said the same thing.
Daddy where we going?
In life there are moments, and then there are Moments. This one fell into the latter category.
Tucker froze. Literally. He stopped walking in the middle of rush hour pedestrian traffic. Here he was. Mid-fifties. Lifetime member of the NYPD. Glock on his hip. Captain's shield on his waist. Totally in control. But suddenly Noah's little fingers curled affectionately around his ear and his other hand clutched the knot of his tie and the gravity of the Moment superseded everything. Tucker could not move.
People scoffed as they navigated around him.
He was stunned.
He also had no idea how to respond. Correct Noah? Ignore it? Answer the question?
Ed turned his neck and Noah's beaming face, eyebrows raised with innocent curiosity, met his. Brown ringlets hung over his ears and stuck to his damp forehead; he really needed a haircut.
Daddy, where are we going?
Daddy?
He answered the question. "We're going to drop off your bag at home and then meet mommy and Brookey for dinner."
"For your birdday?"
Noah remembered the conversation he had with Olivia that morning. They sang "Happy Birthday" to Ed and then gave him birthday kisses and Noah was promised a healthy portion of the birthday cake if only he would agree to get dressed.
Noah, still in his chanting phase, had intoned, "Tuck Birdday! Tuck Birdday!" as Olivia readied him.
Eight hours later, "Tuck" became "Daddy."
Should he call Olivia?
No, he would see her in less than an hour. Noah was parroting the other kid anyway. Then again, they had been around kids saying "daddy" before. Why now? Was it that Noah simply recognized a distinct parallel? After all, both he and the other kid were being toted out of day care by male caretakers.
Noah still peered at him intently.
"Yeah, bud, for my birthday. Whatcha want to eat?"
"Cake!"
Tucker smiled at him. "Yeah, we're gonna have cake, but dinner first bud. You want grilled cheese?" They were going to a pub two blocks away from the apartment, a usual spot for casual dinners during the week.
"I have grillcheese and fries?"
"Yup."
"Ketchup on my shirt." Noah tugged at his shirt remembering a previous spill which was partially due to Tucker forgetting to put Noah in a booster seat.
"We'll be more careful this time, No."
They dropped off the Thomas backpack at the apartment, and Ed used the pit stop to change into more casual attire and run a cool washcloth over Noah's face and hands.
"You know what?" He said to Noah, "Let's change your shirt." Indeed, the shirt was streaked with remnants of the day's snacks and art projects.
They were slightly late, but Olivia had already sent a text apologizing for her own tardiness and Brooke used the delay to catch a quick nap after her first day back at school.
They arrived at the pub almost at the same time. Brooke had just been seated when Ed and Noah arrived. A few minutes later a hurried Olivia burst in, hugged everyone hello, and took the seat closest to Ed.
"Happy Birthday!" she gushed as if she hadn't seen him in a year and kissed him hard on the lips. "Did you have a good day?"
"No better or worse than others," he replied casually. "What about you?"
"Crazy. But the squad's on the subway cams and the street cams, so we'll get him. I may need to go back later, so I better take it easy." Olivia turned her attention to Brooke. "How was the first day of school?"
She looked exhausted. "It went fast. A lot of new outfits and shoes and reunions. Not much learning."
"It's just the first day."
"Yep. The typical first day for sure. But forgive me if I'm not up for a long night."
Neither Tucker nor Olivia looked disappointed. "We'll get together again Saturday," Ed assured her. "Grandma's coming over and we're going to do dinner with Jeff and Sarah."
"And we'll do presents then," Brooke instructed, "I forgot to wrap yours."
Ed just laughed.
They ordered a round of drinks and toasted Ed's birthday, ate, and then embarrassed the birthday boy with a blazing cake and a cadre of singing waiters.
"Don't forget to make a wish," Olivia reminded him before he blew out the candles. He shot her an expression of mischievousness and mystery then extinguished the flames.
Noah clapped. "Cake! Tuckcake!" Ed thought about his earlier exchange with Noah.
He said "Tuck" this time. But in one word like "cupcake" only it was "tuckcake."
How was it possible a two-almost-three-year-old was bending his mind so inscrutably?
The question would have to wait. After they cleaned up a chocolate-covered Noah, they parted ways on the sidewalk. Before she headed south, Brooke hugged Ed tightly.
"Love you, Daddy," she said.
Daddy.
"Love you, too. Have a good day tomorrow."
"I will."
"See you Saturday."
Brooke flashed a grin and walked off.
…
Back at home Olivia gave Noah a quick bath and dried his hair. She brought him into the living room where Noah picked out a book. He and Olivia cuddled on the couch and read while Ed took a shower. Noah was asleep and in bed before Tucker emerged shirtless with a towel wrapped around his waist.
Olivia cooed, "Well, helllll-lo."
Water droplets still clung to his arms and shoulders, and his hair, which had grown longer than he usually kept it, was spiky.
For the moment, Tucker was immune to the flirting. "He asleep?"
"Yes," she answered apprehensively. An unresponsive Tucker was unusual and Olivia was concerned. Especially since it was his birthday.
"Hey, I wanna talk to you about something."
She knew something was wrong. He was too quiet and reserved, even for him, at dinner.
Olivia sat back down on the couch and patted the cushion. "What?"
"It's really nothing," his eyes drifted off towards the kitchen.
"Ed?" She lightly redirected his face with a fingertip.
He rubbed a hand over his damp head. "Today, on the way out of day care, Noah called me daddy."
Olivia and Ed stared at one another.
Impasse.
"Um," Olivia started, "I guess I'm not surprised. What did you say?"
"I answered his question. He asked where we were going." She started to respond, but he cut her off, "I don't think it's a big deal. We were walking out with this guy and his kid, and the kid called him 'daddy' and Noah repeated exactly what the other kid said."
"What did he call you after that?"
"Nothing for a while. But, then he went back to Tuck."
"Are you ok with him doing that? I mean, I can see how he would be confused."
Talk about being confused. Tucker considered it to be within Olivia's purview as to what terms Noah used to refer to him, and she was asking him if he was ok with "daddy?"
Ed scrunched up his face, "It's just…it rattled me. I wasn't prepared for that. And he's two. How do we explain that I'm not his dad?"
Daddy, where are we going?
"But it was so…"
"Natural?" Olivia suggested.
That was not a word Ed would have used, but, yes, Noah's question had certainly come naturally.
Olivia did not share even a small percentage of the concern Ed felt. "You're probably right, he was just copying the other kid."
"What if he wasn't? What if he calls me daddy tomorrow?"
Olivia shrugged. "Then he calls you daddy," she concluded a bit too casually, "but if you're uncomfortable…I'll talk to him."
"And say what?"
"I don't really know. Just explain you're Tuck and not Daddy." Olivia could tell Ed was unhappy with that resolution. She took his hands in hers. "What do you want, Ed?"
"I want to marry you."
It just came out. He meant it, but he hadn't intended to deliver the line at that moment.
Now it was Olivia's turn to be uncomfortable.
"I know you've said you're not ready and you get nervous talking about it," he added, not really sure what he was doing. He hadn't planned on proposing just now.
"You want to marry me because Noah called you Daddy?"
Ed smiled, "No, I want to marry you because…because I just know. And when that happened today, I thought, what are we waiting for? I think it was a sign."
A sign? Who was this person?
"So what if tomorrow he calls you Tuck again?"
"He can call me Tuck forever if he wants, the point is that, well, you said we were family."
"I did."
"Then let's be family."
Olivia's eyes filled with tears and then spilled over and streamed down her cheeks as Ed's eyes conveyed all his years of pent up admiration, lust, adoration, affection, love, and, now, devotion…also, to a certain extent, relief.
"Ok," she whispered.
"Ok?"
"Ok."
"You'll marry me?"
"Yes."
This wasn't exactly how he had planned it, but he jumped up and darted toward the bedroom.
"Where are you going?" She asked, wondering why her now-fiancée was running away from her seconds after she'd agreed to marry him.
"I'll be right back."
To Olivia's surprise and awe, he returned with a small, black box in his hand and the Tucker smirk on his face.
…
#Tuckson #Always
