A/N:
italics flashback, bold Joey observations
For storyline purposes, I am axeing the whole Jimmy/Jenny history, meaning he never liked her when they were kids. It wouldn't make sense since Maddie and Jimmy got together after the accident, and on the show, that's when he started liking Jenny. So, the episode I am writing for will be a bit different, but with the same gist more or less. Hope everyone's cool with that.
Warning: I know most of you are of age because of the nature of the show, but there are some major drug references towards to end. Read at your own risk.
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The past few days since Bob The Mouth had been sort of strange. I'd barely seen Jimmy. He was always either out with Whitey collecting or at the Firecracker tending bar. They had suddenly gotten a lunch rush, which never happend. Sean was hard at work as beverage manager and business was picking up. Both good things. Especially since Helen hadn't found out about Sean's new job yet. They'd all been dodging her calls to the bar looking for him. It was only a matter of time before that ship would sail.
But that wasn't the strange part. Since the night of Bob The Mouth, everytime I turn around, Kevin was there. Three days this week I've come out from the back room, and there he is ordering a sandwich from Jenny. He never came to the Diner to eat anymore. He always ate at home or at the Firecracker. And he wouldn't just eat. He'd eat, then stay for an hour, sometimes even longer than that, and talk my ear off about meaningless crap. Sure, I liked having Kevin around. We always had good laughs. But something didn't seem right.
Today was no different. Mr. Reilly hadn't been feeling well the past few days, and me and Jenny were pretty much running the Diner by ourselves. At lunchtime on the weekdays that wasn't exactly an easy job. Seemed like the whole neighborhood would drop by in the course of a few hours.
I pour a customer a drink and turn to see Kevin sitting at the opposite end of the counter. I walk towards him and adjust my apron. "You must really like the turkey sandwiches."
He hands me the menu. "I'll try the roast beef on sourdough."
I raise an eyebrow, and take the menu from him. "Living life dangerously."
My eyes move to the end of the counter when I hear a familiar voice. Dokie Farrell slides papers across the counter to Mr. Reilly. I turn around and walk over to Jenny. "Your Pop didn't tell him you don't need his help?"
She shakes her head, "Didn't get a chance to. He was gonna go later today when we weren't as busy."
Jenny continues watching them and serving customers. I move back down to Kevin and put the sandwich in front of him. "What's going on with Mr. Reilly and Dokie?"
"He asked for his help and forgot to mention that he got help somewhere else."
Kevin chuckles, taking a bite. "Dumb move. Good luck to him. He's gonna need it."
I lean on the counter. "Your Ma called me this morning askin' if I'd seen Sean. I said no. You might want to mention to him that I don't like lying to her."
He nods. "She's been doing that alot the past few days. Doesn't know about the beverage manager thing yet. It's really gonna piss her off. She wants him to go back to school."
"That's what he should be doing. Jimmy shouldn't have offered him the job in the first place."
He shakes his head. "I'll tell you something right now, he's driving me nuts with this beverage manager crap-- telling me what to do every five minutes. Go down to the basement and get this, go to the corner store and get that. All day long he's bitching in my ear. That's why I'm not eating over there. Had to get away from him and Joey for awhile."
I pour another customer a drink and turn back to him. "Jimmy out with Whitey collecting?"
He glances up at me, and then back down at the sandwich like he was trying to figure out what to say. "I don't know. Probably. He wasn't there when I came in. He's been working alot lately. Lots of welchers late on their payments."
I notice Louie Downtown's phone sitting on the counter. I pick it up. "I thought you were gonna toss this?"
He takes it back from me. "I am-- haven't gotten around to it."
I roll my eyes. "Uh huh."
Jenny calls Kevin's name from the other end. He had a phone call. After he hangs up five seconds later, he walks back to the seat and puts money on the table. "Tommy. I've got to go. Thanks for the sandwich."
"Everything alright?" I ask.
He nods. "Friendly game of softball."
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It was almost five and I had half an hour until the end of my shift. I was planning on going to see Jimmy at the Firecracker after I left. Hopefully I'd catch him this time.
I head to the back to grab some fresh towels. When I come back a few minutes later, I almost drop them in a heap on the floor. Jimmy's fist connects with Mr. Reilly's nose and the old man falls back into the shelves, and drops to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Jimmy obviously didn't realize I was standing in the doorway, because he opened the register, took money out, and bolted out the front door without looking back.
I don't move as I watch Jimmy continue down the sidewalk alongside Whitey, who was waiting for him outside. I didn't know what to think. Mr. Reilly said something, obviously in pain, and Jenny pushed past me to get to him. He leans his head back and blood starts running down his entire face.
Jenny looks back at me with a confused look on her face. Her face was red with anger. "What the hell did Jimmy hit him for?!"
I shake my head at her as all of her questions start running together in my head. When I open my mouth to respond, she's already out the door.
I run after her and as soon as I open the front door, she tackles Jimmy to the ground and starts beating him furosiously with her fists. "Jenny!" I shout, jogging towards them.
She screams, "Are you fucking crazy?! You hit my father you dopehead! Give it back! Give me the money, Jimmy! Give it to me!"
Whitey pulls her off of him. I shove him hard. "Get off of her!" He releases her and takes a few steps back.
Jimmy slowly gets up, trying to collect himself. I take a good look at him and realize why she'd used that particular word. His eyes were glazed over and bloodshot, and he looked like death. No wonder I hadn't seen him in days. Jenny steps towards him again, panting for breath. "I want it back, I want the money back!"
I stand next to Jenny and glance over at him. "He's gonna give you every cent back." I put a hand on her arm, and she angirly shrugs me off.
Jimmy shakes his head. "Jenny--"
"Since when do you run the neighborhood?! No one's ever taken money from us! Not even Huey. We're not giving you a nickel! Not ever!"
His eyes twitch and he is barely standing up straight. "Wake up, somebody always gets paid! From now on it's gonna be me!"
Jenny is staring at him with wide eyes, and I'm doing the same. Neither of us can believe what we're seeing or hearing. He was like a completely different person. Whitey was standing to the side, eyes on the pavement, and even looked slightly scared of him. He motions for Whitey to follow him. "Let's go. We've got to be seven blocks over in fifteen."
Jenny huffs past me and goes back inside. I watch him walk away with Whitey without so much as a glance back at me.
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When I thought things couldn't get any worse, I was wrong. I reach to open the door to the Firecracker when Jenny rushes past me. I turn to talk to her, but she wouldn't even look at me. I walk inside and Kevin and Sean are holding Tommy and Jimmy back from eachother.
Tommy shakes them off of him and stares Jimmy down. "How could you do that to Jenny?! For Christ sake, Jimmy! You've known her all your life. What the hell's wrong with you?!"
Jimmy smiles, backing away from Kevin, who is standing between them. He glances at me over Jimmy's shoulder. "It was easy."
Tommy has a sad look on his face. "Don't you care about anybody anymore?"
"That's right, Tommy. I forgot. You care about everybody. You're the savior, I'm the scumbag, right?! You keep telling yourself that." Jimmy shouts at him, slurring his words.
Then Tommy says something I never thought I'd hear any of them say. That he was ashamed of him. The worst part was that Jimmy acted like he didn't care. Like it meant nothing to him that not only Tommy, but Sean passed by me out the door, and left him alone. Kevin was the only one who looked like he was thinking about staying behind.
Jimmy lifts a shot glass at the end of the bar. "Who wants a drink? I could use one right about now."
Kevin lets out a deep sigh and walks towards the front door. "He needs to sleep it off. Come on, I'll buy you a drink."
I shake my head, holding back tears. "I'll come find you after."
He nods and continues out the door. I walk to the other end of the bar. Jimmy's already finished two whole shots and is pouring himself a third. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He'd done crazy shit before when he was on the drugs, but never anything like this. There were no words I could say.
He slams the now-empty shot glass down and pulls the bottle up onto the counter to pour another. I knock it off before he can touch it again. He looks up at me, laughing. "Look at you, Xena Warrior Princess. You're not the only one who can throw things. See?" He throws the shot glass across the room.
I don't take my eyes off of him. He looked so empty. Like someone had ripped out a part of him. He leans towards me and his hands run up the sleeves of my jacket to my shirt underneathe. "Why don't we go upstairs and I can see what you've got on underneathe here?" His hand goes under my shirt and circles my breast. I try and push him off, but he does the same thing again. "Don't touch me, Jimmy."
He chuckles, "Oh, okay. Isn't that what you said a few night ago? Or was it the other way around? I forget."
He places his hand behind my neck and tries to pull me down to kiss him, and I shove him harder. "I said don't fuckin' touch me!"
He puts his hands up in surrender and still hasn't stopped laughing. "Officer, I swear she said she was legal. I didn't do nothin'."
I wipe away a fresh tear from my cheek. I was amazed at how hurt I was. He could barely say anything at all and make me feel like this. Like there was no hope for either of us. "Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately? Looks like you should be face up in a coffin."
He takes out yet another bottle from the bar, and fills the shot glass. "No, I haven't. Sorry if that upsets you. Didn't know you cared so much about appearances."
I rub my wrist and try to stay calm. I could never seem to not fight with him when he was like this. "Do you want to die that badly?"
He reaches over the bar for something, and pulls out a shoe box. He throws the top off and dumps out the contents. His supply of needles, saline bottles, and white powder in baggies spill out all over the counter between us. "What does it look like?"
I close my eyes briefly and look away. There was the hurt again. I couldn't stand to look at the objects for more than a few seconds. The small objects that were going to kill him if Nicky Cottero, Dokie Farrell, or someone else didn't beat them to it. Objects that I hated more than I hated him.
I find myself wondering how far gone he really was. From what I had overheard earlier, Tommy thought he was beyond saving. Wanting to test that theory, I hesitantly pick up the needle and fill it with the drugs from the small bottle. I pull up my sleeve and turn my arm over. "How do I do this? Just find a vein and stick it in?"
He leans towards me and nods, picking up the belt from the floor that had dropped. "Use this. You don't use it, you'll end up sticking yourself over and over. Hurts like hell."
I take the belt and stare down at it in my hand. I had my answer. How pathetic was I? Watching him punch out Jenny's father, two people he'd known all his life, wasn't enough to convince me? A part of me believed I was as far gone as he was. He moves two seats over, so that he's next to me, and slips my jacket off. He takes the belt and starts pulling up my entire sleeve.
I lean my head on his chest and he starts tightening the belt around my upper arm. I quickly jerk my head up, and rip the belt off of my arm, and throw it across the room. I take the two saline bottles and break them on the ground and step on the three remaining needles, trying to bend them the best I can. I move to grab the small baggies, but he's too quick. He swipes two from the counter, and stares at the other one I have clutched in my hand.
I pour the white powder on the floor and throw the baggie aside. I'm crying so hard now that his face is a half blur. "You were gonna sit there and-- Who are you? What are you? I'm looking at you and I don't know who you are. Tommy was right. You really don't care about anyone anymore, do you?"
His desperate eyes are burning into mine now. My words had cut him deep. He may have been high, but he understood every word. "Maddie."
He takes a few steps towards me with his hand extended, and I angirly slap him across the face. "No, you make me sick! Son of a bitch!" I do more than that. I move from his face to his chest, and hit him over and over. There wasn't a rational excuse for it. I simply could not stop. The anger and pure hatred was running through my veins like wildfire.
He tries to disable me, but I'm too strong for him. He falls to the floor and I'm on top of him. He gets the upper hand and grips both of my wrists, pinning me down this time. "Stop moving! Calm the fucking hell down! You're gonna hurt yourself!"
I shake my head violently, trying to push against him with my knees. I see something in the corner of my eye rush by, and before I knew it, Jimmy was more or less ripped off of me by the back of my shirt by Kevin. He punched him once in the face, and Jimmy went down quickly. He stayed on his back, breathing hard, not attempting to stand and retaliate. Kevin had saved him from himself, but he looked more hurt than angry about it.
Kevin holds his hand down to him, and he shakes his head without a word. I sit up against the bar and watch him stare up at the ceiling blankly, his hands covering his face.
Kevin walks over to me, hands on his hips. He squats down to my level and turns my chin away from Jimmy's body so that I'm looking at him. "You okay?"
I wipe my eyes and shake my head. I whisper, choking back tears. "Can you get me out of here?"
He pulls me up with both hands and we leave the bar.
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The full bottle of beer had been in front of me for ten minutes. Kevin had been trying to convince me that I'd feel better, but I was skeptical. I lay my head on my arms on the counter. He runs his hand down my back reassuringly, "You sure you're not hurt or somethin'? I can take you to the hospital, and they can check you out."
I roll my eyes. "For the tenth time, no. I don't need a hospital, or a doctor, or anything else. I hurt him more than he hurt me. Trust me."
He picks up my wrist and examines the forming bruises. I could hear him mumble something under his breath, but couldn't make it out. I perk up when I spot Nicky Cottero over his shoulder. I nudge him, taking a small sip of my beer. Nicky gives us both a smile, but seemed to only be looking at me. How lucky was I? "Kevin Donnelly. You're just the guy I've been looking for."
He shifts in his chair. "I'm having a drink with my friend here. Whatever it is, I didn't do it. I'm not the one you're lookin' for."
Nicky raises an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, I am. Actually, I need a favor."
I step in, "He doesn't do favors for you. Why don't you beat it and leave us alone, huh?"
Nicky ignores me, and doesn't take his eyes off of Kevin. "I'm a little short this week. I need you to spot me another day."
Kevin rubs his forehead. "What the hell are you talkin' about?"
"For the grand I owe you." Nicky answers.
Nicky had found out about Louie Downtown's phone and would probably find out that Jimmy was the one who killed him next. I look down at the counter as Nicky walks out and Kevin sits there dazed. I can't help but laugh at the irony of this situation. "Here I thought him dying would be the reason for us breaking up. Looks like I beat him to it."
Kevin drops his head. "Shit."
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