A/N Okay guys here is a new chapter it's something I enjoyed writing, and I hope you like it

I don't own the Chicago franchise nor the characters


Chicago

April 2nd, 2017

It was a scary evening; the rain was pouring over the city like someone had turned on the faucet, the thunders were deafening, echoing through town like gunshots and lightning chasing them turning night into a bright day in a second. I was sitting in the rocking chair in JJ's room with my three-year-old boy cuddled in my lap fast asleep, the rain was helping me think, helping me remember things and there was a lot to think about.

Ever since the case in NY, Jay has been distancing himself, barely talking or looking at me. Most of the time he would go out with Adam or Alvin, leaving me with Kim or Kenny and don't get me wrong I like both of them, but they aren't my partner, they aren't Jay. I thought it would get better that maybe he was just angry with me that I hadn't told him about my son, another part of me thought that maybe he found out the truth and doesn't want anything to do with me or his son. After a few days of silence, I decide to try and talk with him to no end

" Jay I'm your partner... talk to me" - we were in the break room, getting coffee and alone for the first time since NY

"You wouldn't understand... Look I don't wanna tiptoe around you at work. That's not us. I think I just... need some time right now." he said and walked away not giving me a chance to say a word.

That was a week ago, and things are not any better now, even Hank started asking questions, and I had no idea how to answer them. I looked at JJ's relaxed sleeping face and smiled lightly he looked o much like his dad it was scary, sometimes it made me feel like he is more Jay's son than mine. When I first saw Jay in Intelligence all those months ago, I was terrified of him being there, being my partner and now I'm terrified of him not being there. For some reason I couldn't settle down, there was a wired feeling in the pit of my stomach that doesn't wanna go away, and I didn't like it. I looked out of the window one more time, then got up and carefully put the sleeping boy in his bed, covered him with the blanket and left the room carefully not to wake him up.

- Hey, dad, would you mind keeping an ear for JJ I need to take care of something - I asked when I made it down the stairs,

- At this time? - he asked looking first at his watch and then at the weather outside

- Yeah, it's important - I responded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before I ran towards the door, grabbed my keys and phone from the table next to the door and ran out. I didn't bother to change or grab a jacket, so my black legging and gray long sleeve shirt were already soaked by the time I made it into my car, but I could care less at this moment.

In about thirty minutes I was in front of his apartment building, I turned off the engine and sat there. I was so determent to face him to talk with him and to get everything out of my chest, but now that I was here, standing few feet from his door I was losing my nerve. Then all the reasons I got fired up in the first place started popping in my head fueling the fire once again. I got the key out of the ignition and got out of the car, hit the button to lock it and ran across the street, quickly got into the building and went straight to the elevator. It was taking too long so, I ran the stairs, being honest, I wasn't thinking clear, if I were I would probably consider the possibility of him not being alone. Maybe he had a girlfriend, maybe he was married, there was a lot, I didn't know and I particularly in a job like better than anyone that people keep secrets especially with a job like ours.

It took me no more than few minutes to reach the fourth floor and here I was standing in front of a gray door, one last deep breath, and I banged on the door. One.. two.. three .. it took about five blows before the door flew open and I was standing face in face with a very pissed of pair of emerald green eyes

- What the hell Lindsay? - he said, but I could see his anger turning into irritation, and he was slowly calming down

- I can ask you the same thing, Halstead! - I yelled back and pushed passed him into his apartment. It was absolutely the same as the last time I was here, and somehow that made me happy. I didn't know what I was expecting maybe I was hoping I wouldn't find woman's clothes everywhere or pictures and flowers, no sign of a feminine touch and that made me realize that the idea of him having a girlfriend, of another woman in his bed was it making me nauseous.

- You have no right to do this to me! You make your way in my life you vanish without the world, no phone call, no text message, no e-mail or even a freaking letter, nothing you have no idea what I went through! I looked everywhere for you, hospitals, morgues, police departments, rehab facilities, even the military but I got jack! I spend two weeks in Wisconsin, visiting every place we went, going to the cabin twice a day hoping I'll run into you, praying that you are alive but I found nothing. You have no idea the pain, and then four years later you pop up out of the blue like nothing had happened! And then just when I thought that things were getting back to normal, the moment I started opening again, trusting you again you ditch me. Push me away without explanation, without a word just like all that time ago - I was on a roll, barely taking a breath, yelling every word, finally getting it out, all the things I was holding inside piling up for the past four years

- You should have told me! - he yelled back and once again his emerald green eyes were filled with anger, and for a second it took me back

- Tell you what! I wasn't the one ... - he didn't even let me finish my sentence

- About you and Antonio! About the fact, you are in a relationship, about you and him having a kid? - he yelled throwing his arms in the air; he was angry, angrier than I've aver seen him

- What are you talking about! Are you insane there is nothing between Antonio and me! Don't get stupid on me Halstead - I yelled back, but I had to admit that his words surprised me were the least I could say

- Oh, yeah? I beg a differ! I saw you, Erin! I saw you kissing! Or are you going to tell me, I don't know what I saw with my own eyes! - he yelled, and I had to take a step back, the anger that was pouring from every part of his being was frightening at this moment he reminded me of Hank and Justin

- What the hell are you talking about! That's absurd he is like a brother to me. Not to mention he is about to propose to his girlfriend Sylvie Brett from Firehouse 51, and they are about to have a baby - I said taking my voice down a notch, his accusations made no sense never in the nine years we've known each other there was anything remotely romantic between Antonio and me

- I got back from Afghanistan at the end of September and my first thought, the first thing I did was to try and find you. I was going to explain everything and to beg for forgiveness, hoping you haven't moved on with someone else. It took me months to track you down until early December, one of the nurses in the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago took pity on me and gave me your address. I spent half an hour park outside your door waiting to make sure you were there, contemplating what to say to you I just had summoned up my courage when a dark car parked across the street from me and Antonio came out with a basket and flowers. You were out of the door before he even made his way to the stairs like a lightning one moment you were in the doorway the next you were engulfed in his arms. You were wearing this oversized yellow sweater with a tiger on the front, dark jeans and your hair were up in a high bun, you looked so beautiful, just like I remembered you, like the last time I laid my eyes on you. - he explained, and although there was still anger in him, i could see the sadness in his eyes, the pain of him seeing me in the arms of someone else. I didn't know how to react, to be happy that he didn't give up on me. That his first thought was to find me or to be pissed that he never came to me, never confronted me, not then not a few days ago, when he saw Antonio, when he learned I had a son.

- You thought! You thought me and Antonio were a couple. That he is the father of my child. That's why you ran out so fast that night? That's why you've been so cold, disappearing every time Antonio was around? - that made sense he ran out so quickly the night Antonio brought JJ to Intelligence that he had no chance to look at him if he had he would have known the truth.

- I saw him his dark hair

- Yeah, he has the same hair color as Antonio, but he has his father's blue eyes, his smile. Antonio is his godfather and my friend; he used to be my partner when I started in Intelligence before he transferred to the State's Attorney's office. And as far as the "kiss" you think you saw it was on the cheek, Antonio was undercover for almost two months, and that was the first time I saw him after the opp. Antonio is engaged to Sylvie. She is pregnant too. - I explained shaking my head, I never realized how things might look from afar, I was close to Antonio, but never that close, but apparently not everyone saw it that way.

- The fireman! That's why he is still around, why you are still friends, I should've known. - he was talking more to himself than me, but I couldn't help but smile at his thoughts, he was so far from the truth, but he believed his version so much that he didn't even ask for confirmation

- Kelly and I were always great as friends not so much as a couple. But he has changed, he has grown up, and now he is married to a pretty awesome girl, he moved on - I said shrugging. For the first time since I got here, i realized that there was a soft jazz music coming from his stereo, that the tv was off, but most of all for the anger that brought me here was gone.

- What about you? Did you move on? - he asked looking straight into my eyes, he was biting his lip slightly like he was fighting a war, and his gorgeous emerald green eyes had turned dark with desire

- Kinda I guess, I become a cop, gave birth to an amazing little boy, that means the world to me... - I couldn't continue he was standing so close to me, his eyes making my knees week, another step and his lips were on mine. The kiss started slow, unsure my back hit the wall, and he pulled away. We didn't say a word just looked into each other's eyes, then he cupped my chin in his hand and kissed me again, this time there were no traces for uncertainty, no traces of scare, the intensity of the kiss made me fell like I was burning up. His hands got to the hem of my soaked sweater and quickly got rid of it followed by his t-shirt, his hands were roaming over my body leaving burning sensations in their wake.

- Jay - I whispered when his lips slide down my jawline and neck

- Shh just let me love you, Ellie - he responded looking into my eyes, I couldn't resist the pull of his gaze, nor the feeling of his body pressed against mine. Without thinking my lips crushed against his passionately, his arms found their way under my but and with a swift motion I was in the air, and he was caring me towards his bedroom.

He laid me down on his bed just in my black underwear, and for a moment he just stood there taking me in in my whole, from the messy wet hair to my toes painted in black. Then a smile spread on his lip, and there was this flame in his eyes he shook his head, and his knees hit the mattress, he slowly started moving towards me, his fingers ever so lightly sliding on my skin like a feather making me shiver and creating goosebumps in their wake

- Gosh, you're more beautiful then I remember - he whispered when he made his way to my face, gently caressed it and once again cupped my chin in his hand before he crashed his lips against mine and I let a muffled moan escape.

The room was filled with the softness of the jazz music coming from the stereo and the sharpness of the thunders, the only light in the room was coming from the dimmed light bulbs on the wall on both sides of the bed and the flash of the lightning. My golden brown hair was spread against the navy blue pillowcase, my eyes were closed, naked body was covered with goosebumps, and light moans were escaping my slightly open lips. Meanwhile, Jay's lips were covering every inch of my skin with butterfly kisses; his hand was moving from my rib cage to my thigh and back up. He found my lips once again giving me a passionate kiss, interlacing his tongue with mine for a slow erotic dance. He slowly moved away just enough so he can look into my eyes again; I spend the past four years hoping to be able to see him again, to know that he is not dead but not even in my wildest dreams I would have thought that I would be in his embrace again. I turned my head and lazily opened my eyes to look at him, a smile spread across my lips showing dimples.

- Hey - I whispered, caressing his face I looked into his eyes, and there were no traces of the anger, the hurt or jealousy I saw earlier, on the contrary, his eyes were filled with love, adoration, admiration and desire, and I couldn't stop myself but to kiss him. I knew that look; I saw that look four years ago that same look made me turn my life around, made me feel alive, made me believe in love, although we were together just for few weeks.

- I love you! - Jay whispered, and I could swear my heart skipped a beat or maybe ten I was sure I would never hear those words again, and I may be crazy to risk it again, but here I was in his embrace, in his bed, and once again I feel alive, I feel complete.

- I love you too - the words rolled out of my mouth with such ease, and the smile on his face when I said it there was only one other man who could match it and that was our son.

We spend the rest of the night exploring each other's bodies, enjoying every moment of it, savoring every touch, every kiss, every shiver, and moan. We fell asleep in the early hours of the morning cuddled into each other embrace, my head was resting on his chest my ear on his heart, him playing with my hair.

I woke up a few hours later with a smile on my face just to realize that the bed was empty, I looked around frantically but Jay was nowhere to be seen, I got out of bed slipped on my tank top and undies and walked out of the room not realizing I was holding my breath

- Good morning gorgeous - came a cheerful voice, startling me and at the same time making me relax and relies on the breath I was holding

- Morning - I responded walking towards him, got on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the lips

- Hey I'm not going anywhere, not leaving you ever again - he stated, cupping my face in his hands and kissing my forehead and all I could do to smile and nod and snuggle into his embrace

- I was serious when I told you that I love you, Ellie - he said it, and I knew he was completely serious and that was another reason I loved him

- I love you to Staff Sergeant - I said using his ranger's rank, and the smile on his face was making my knees week. We had breakfast, made out for a bit longer, then enjoyed a shower and headed out, he went to the gym, and I headed home hoping that Hank won't ask questions.