AN I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter, cause I really enjoyed writing it. I got the idea for this little scene between Cas and Sam a while ago and it just seemed right to plug it into this story. I hope you guys like it! As always, let me know any thoughts, feelings, suggestions. Love hearing from people.
Dean was comfortable, relaxing in Castiel's arms when his phone buzzed beside him. He looked at the caller ID and saw it was Sam. "What?" He answered with a grumble.
"Where the hell have you guys been? It's been hours!" Sam demanded over the line.
Dean cleared his throat. "Uh, we're actually at the bunker..."
He could practically feel Sam's agitation through the phone. "Great. Just stay there I'm on my way now. I have a plan." And then the line went dead.
Dean tossed his phone back on the table and looked at Castiel. Cas was shifting uncomfortably, looking like he didn't quite know what to do with himself.
Dean narrowed his eyes. "Talk to me."
Cas looked up, his eyes meeting Deans. "Dean... I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For everything." Dean looked like he was going to say something but Cas held up a hand. "I owe you an apology. I should have never left you in Purgatory. I should have never let your secrets slip to Naomi... I should have done better." He finished lamely.
"Cas, why did you stay in Purgatory?" Dean asked very seriously. He didn't want to admit how much Castiel's actions had been weighing on his mind. The memory he had forged in his mind was much friendlier than the one Cas had showed him. It was so much easier to blame himself than it was to accept that maybe Cas just didn't want him. The rest he could forgive, forget, move on... but deep inside he needed to know why.
The silence that filled the room was deafening, and Cas shifted uncomfortably in his space. "I... Dean I had done some much damage. I had killed thousands of humans, hundreds of angels. I didn't think... I felt like I deserved Purgatory. Purgatory was payment for the pain I had caused; the lives I had taken."
Dean couldn't deny the relief that flooded him as he realized Castiel's decision wasn't about him at all. He reached out, his palm resting gently on Castiel's cheek. "Cas... you always did what you thought was best. You always tried. Your intentions were always, always in the right place." Dean said seriously.
Cas laughed, a pitiful joyless sound. "Don't try to defend what I did, Dean. I deserved to be punished."
Dean forced him to look into his eyes. "What about what I deserved? What about me, Cas? Cause you left me and I... I almost couldn't... I didn't want to go on." He finished.
Cas tilted his head quizzically. "You... you thought I didn't want you?" He finished, realization dawning on him like a punch to the gut. "Dean you were the only thing I wanted. I stayed in Purgatory because I thought I would be keeping you safe if I did that."
Dean's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I don't need your protection, Cas. I need you, flesh and blood, here with me."
"I'm sorry, Dean." Cas replied, and he genuinely was. Dean pressed a firm kiss on his lips and Cas felt himself relax into his loves touch. The words "I need you" flashed through his brain, and he pulled Dean to him, relaxing back onto the bed.
Dean wanted to say more, but he contented himself in his angels arms, curling himself into Cas like he couldn't bare to be apart from him. 'Cause, really, he couldn't.
...
It was late, Sam was tired and starving, but ultimately hunger won out. He'd gone over the plan with his brother a dozen times, and while Dean wasn't thrilled with it, he agreed. His brother always hated to be used as bait.
Dean had left to get Sam food, for which he was grateful. Really, Dean just wanted to stretch his wings and have a moment away from the bunker. Sam wasn't going to complain.
Cas sat across the table from him, fiddling with his hands. Sam wiped a hand over his face as Cas cleared his throat.
"Ah... Sam... I've been meaning to, ah, talk to you." Cas started awkwardly.
Sam raised his brows. "What's up?"
"Well, I think you have probably figured out that there is something... er... romantic, happening between me and Dean." He was growing more and more flustered by the moment. Angel's rarely felt these types of emotions, though it wasn't impossible. It was just... rare. He had never witnessed love until he pulled Dean out of hell; it was Dean who taught him everything he knew of love. That made things a bit difficult, at times.
Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah, man, I have eyes." He said blandly.
"Well, I was wondering, about... these emotions, these feelings I am having and how to... properly express them. The sex has been more than pleasing, I think, but I am wondering about the other part."
Sam closed his eyes, wrinkling his nose. "Cas, dude. I mean, I am glad you and Dean are happy, but please for the love of everything holy never talk about having sex with my brother around me again. It's like picturing my two brothers going at it, and its... unsettling."
Cas looked up, unable to help the small smile on his lips. It made his heart swell, knowing Sam viewed him this way. He felt very much the same about Sam. "Sorry, Sam. I will refrain. But, the other part, the feelings part... that I can talk to you about? It would be awkward to ask Dean, I think."
Sam nodded with a laugh. "Yeah, it's never really been his strong suit... So, what do you want to know about, ah, feelings? I'll do my best?"
Castiel looked awkward again, fiddling with the back of his neck. "I think that..." He paused, trailing off shifting again. "I know that I love Dean. I want to tell him, but I don't know how to ah, bring it up?"
Sam softened, he had always found Castiel's nativity a bit endearing, but coming to him for advice on how to tell his brother that he loved him? Sam could practically feel his embarrassed nervousness, and he was somewhat flattered that he would come to like this at all.
"Cas," he said, patting him on the shoulder. "It's Dean, just tell him. Lord knows the idiot won't say it first." Cas looked crestfallen for a moment and Sam caught himself. "He will say it back, though." Cas looked up from the floor, his classic little smile crossing his features.
Cas was about to say something in retort when Dean appeared directly between the two of them, making both him and Sam jump and yelp in surprise.
Dean pointed at Castiel, grinning and jumping up and down like an idiot. "Hah! Hah! How do you like it Angel Boy? How does it feel to have the pants scared off of you?! Hah!"
Castiel looked bewildered for a moment before all three of them burst into hysterical laughter.
