Thanks for the reviews so far, you guys rock!
x x x x
"Please, leave me alone." Sara whispered tearfully. She closed her eyes as the voice continued its violent assault on her. She tried to block it out, to take herself someplace else, but it still won out in the end.
It always won.
Swallowing hard, she snapped her phone shut and cried.
X x x
When Catherine returned from dropping Lindsey off at school, she could not find Sara anywhere. She searched the bedroom, the lounge, the kitchen, even the garden. She was about to check the bedroom again when she caught a noise as she drifted past the bathroom. She rolled her eyes at her own ignorance; of course, the bathroom.
Stopping outside, she rapped her knuckles lightly on the door.
"Sara?" She called, hearing nothing but silence in return. "Hon?" She pushed the door open slightly, peering around. "Oh my God."
Sara didn't even look up at the intrusion; she remained where she was on the floor, studiously focused on her task at hand. Catherine dashed to her side and gripped her wrist tightly.
"Drop it." She barked, finally catching Sara's gaze. The razor blade hit the floor with a gentle clatter that would echo through Catherine's dreams for weeks. "What have you done?" She asked frenetically.
"I'm sorry." Sara mumbled softly, her eyes flitting around the room unfocusedly. Cath grabbed her arms and hauled her to her feet, inelegantly dropping her onto the toilet lid. She began frantically ransacking her cupboard for first aid supplies, throwing herself onto the floor in front of her somewhat dazed friend.
"Jesus Sara." She murmured, pressing a damp cloth onto her bare, blood-soaked legs. She continued to apply pressure with one hand while simultaneously scrabbling for bandages with the other.
Once the blood flow had ceased she tenderly wrapped the brunette's legs in the stark white bandages, intermittently wiping away tears as she did. Sara seemed to have zoned out, staring blankly at the far wall completely oblivious to her colleague's distress.
Once the wounds were suitably dressed Cath knelt up, snaking her arms around the girl's slim waist and pressing her face into her stomach.
"Why are you doing this?" She begged tearfully. She felt Sara lay a tentative hand on her shoulder.
"I don't want to hurt you guys." She mumbled quietly. Cath looked up into her deep hazel eyes.
"You think it doesn't hurt to see you like this?"
X x x
Catherine led Sara back to the bedroom and left her to resume getting dressed, returning to the scene of the mayhem. She hated cleaning, but to be honest she could use a few minutes to compose herself.
Once she had regained enough composure to speak, she headed back to the guestroom where Sara was sat on the edge of the bed, her hands folded in her lap and her gaze fixed on the floor. She looked like a school child in trouble.
Releasing a deep breath, Cath walked over to her and crouched down in front of the bed. She waited patiently until Sara slowly raised her eyes to meet hers.
"Why?" It was a simple question with so many answers. Sara chose not to offer any. She shrugged, letting her gaze drift back down. "Sara, I need to know." Catherine pressed.
"I can't tell you."
"You have to." She said more forcefully then she intended to. Noting Sara's startled expression, she softened her voice. "Honey, how am I supposed to help you if you won't talk to me?" Again, Sara's only answer was a small shrug. With a heavy sigh, Cath hauled herself to her feet and stalked out of the room. Sara watched her go with the same lost Bambi expression as she had when Cath walked out on her at the hospital.
However, this time the older woman returned quickly, with the bathroom trashcan in one hand and a small box in the other. She handed it to Sara, who stared at it dumbly.
"Do it." Cath encouraged softly. Sara looked up at her and back down at the box of razors in her trembling hands. Slowly, she reached out and dropped it in the trashcan, hearing how they rattled against the box as it ricocheted off the metal can. "Good girl." She whispered, placing the can on the floor and sitting down next to the brunette.
She took her hand loosely, waiting until she met her eyes again.
"I could take you back to hospital." She started quietly, keeping her voice firm and steady while holding the young woman's gaze. "Get you committed, locked up in a padded room. Is that what you want?"
"No!" Sara shook her head so vehemently that Cath almost missed the look of fear that flashed across her face at the thought of it. She sighed.
"Sara, I could not confiscate every sharp object in this house if I tried. Do I need to?"
"No." Sara mumbled, lowering her gaze.
"Look at me." Cath ordered gently, waiting until Sara obeyed. "Sweetheart, I don't know what's going on with you right now, and until you tell me I'm not going to know. Now, I don't want to push you; I'm willing to let you talk to me in your own time. But I will not let you keep hurting yourself." She bargained firmly. "Understood?"
"Yes." Sara agreed softly. "I'm sorry." Cath smiled, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"You know I'm only doing this because I love you, right?"
"I know." Sara agreed, toying with her shirt sleeve nervously. Cath frowned at her for a moment.
"Honey, can I ask you something?"
"Okay." She answered apprehensively. Cath shuffled, inching closer without wanting to crowd her.
"I looked through your sketchbook." She licked her lips, debating how to approach this situation. She had played this conversation over in her head a thousand times but her mind had gone blank now. Then again, she had never pictured having this conversation after bandaging up Sara's self-inflicted wounds. Taking a deep breath, she went for it. "You're very talented, truly. But, I wanted to ask you about the last one you did before ..." she trailed off, biting back the memories.
"Okay." Sara breathed, fidgeting nervously. It didn't matter that Cath hadn't finished the sentence, Sara knew exactly which picture she meant.
"What does it mean?"
"Nothing really, it was just something that came to me."
"Alright." Cath nodded. "What were you feeling when you drew it?"
"Down." Sara shrugged. Cath sighed, squeezing her hand.
"Sweetie, if you can't tell me what's wrong, can you at least tell me what's going through your head?" she begged. Sara looked at her, searching her pleading face. She closed her eyes, biting her bottom lip for a moment.
"I feel like I don't know who I am anymore."
