Woot! Finally finished with this chapter! Sorry it took so long! I kept adding things and adding things... Mostly dialog, but there are some juicy parts towards the end! xD Enjoy!

Chapter 12

Sanji tuned out the cheers that surrounded him and Zoro. He didn't care that the swordsman was getting blood on his clothes, or that Zoro's sweaty brow was messing up the side of his hair. He just liked the feel of the larger man against him, surrounding him, encasing him in warmth and protection.

The cook closed his eyes and leaned into Zoro's body. He felt the other man's heartbeat, strong and steady against his chest and he breathed in the sharp smell of Zoro's battle scent. The screaming and cheering had died down and the sound of people laughing and drinking around them faded away to dull murmurs. Despite being amongst hundreds of people, Sanji felt as if he was completely alone with the other man.

"Zoro," Sanji murmured into coarse, green hair. "You were amazing… The whole fight was amazing."

Zoro sighed deeply and nuzzled deeper into this neck. "Thank you. A lot of those moves were yours."

Sanji couldn't stop himself from grinning. "I noticed."

"I couldn't help showing off, I'm sorry."

Sanji was glad the swordsman couldn't see his face. The cook blushed as he thought about how all that power, all that amazing fighting skill had been put on display for him. Zoro had just won his match, flawlessly, beautifully, and he had been thinking of Sanji the whole time. The realization started a small flutter in the cook's chest and he trembled ever so slightly.

A shriek of feminine laughter erupted from behind Sanji, and before the cook could react, a clumsy, drunk body collided with his back. He let out a small 'oomf' as he crushed Zoro's body between himself and the railing.

Zoro had been floating in post fight euphoria, his heart singing with joy as he held Sanji against him. This night could not get any better, there was no way. It could only go downhill from here. Zoro basked, for the few moments he could, in the embrace of this person whom he hadn't been allowed to touch for so long. Something inevitably would go wrong

When Sanji's body was shoved against his, Zoro's head snapped up in surprise. He caught his breath as Sanji's hips unintentionally ground against his and the swordsman's knees almost buckled when he felt that tell tale press against his thigh.

Sanji had twisted his head to glare at the drunken girl, but when he turned his head back around to say something, his voice failed him. Zoro's lips were a hair's breath away from his own. The swordsman's eyes held such a ferocious intensity they rendered Sanji completely immobile. The two stared at each other for several seconds, each standing on their own precipice fighting themselves for what they thought they should or should not do.

"Sanji…" Zoro's voice was low and rough, breathless.

It took a moment for Sanji to reply. He wanted to kiss Zoro so badly, but if he did, he would be throwing himself into something he wasn't ready for.

"Y… yeah… Zoro?"

Zoro shuddered at the sound of Sanji's quiet smoker's rasp. He licked his lips and leaned forward to whisper into the other's ear. He didn't want to draw Sanji's attention to it if he hadn't noticed, and obviously he hadn't, but he knew he should say something before the cook discovered it himself and tried to kill him.

His lips were tickled by soft blond hair as he whispered. "You're hard…"

Sanji stopped breathing. Zoro was right. He had lost himself so far into the aftereffect of the fight and Zoro's scent that he hadn't noticed his cock was fully erect and crushed against Zoro's thigh! He immediately tried to push off the other man, desperate for space. He longed with every part of his soul for a secluded room to crawl into a corner and die. He twisted and pushed with his arms, trying frantically to get out of Zoro's iron hold.

"Sanji…" Zoro said calmly, way too calmly for the situation. "Sanji hold still."

Mortified and close to tears, Sanji hissed through his teeth. "Let me go, Zoro! Let me go, let me go! Please!" He pushed with everything he had but Zoro's upper body strength was staggering. He couldn't get away.

"Sanji," Zoro said in that same calm tone. "Sanji please stop moving. Remember I told you people are watching us. If you run away from me now, I don't know what's gonna happen." When Sanji continued to struggle, Zoro pulled him flush against his body and growled in the blond's ear. "Sanji, stop fucking moving! What do you think you're doing to me rubbing against me like that?"

Sanji froze and squeezed his eyes shut. Humiliation and shame washed over him in a wave so strong, he felt he might pass out. He rested his forehead against Zoro's shoulder. "I'm sorry…" he murmured.

Zoro lessened his hold but kept his arms wrapped firmly around the cook. "It's all right… You have nothing to be sorry for."

Sanji shook his head slowly and made fists against Zoro's naked chest. "I have no idea what to think anymore, Zoro. I have no idea what I'm feeling! Your fight… watching you fight… It made me feel more like myself than anything in what seems like so long… And I don't get it 'cause it's you, and I don't even really know you all that well! But Luffy says I might know you, but not in my head and I just… I just…"

Zoro wove his fingers through the cook's golden locks and hushed Sanji's rambling with soft words and a tender caress over his back. The tension in Sanji's shoulders eased and he slowly lifted his head to push gently away from the swordsman.

Zoro smiled softly and straightened Sanji's collar. "Let's get my things and go home."

"Sure," Sanji readily agreed and they stepped away from the railing.

Zoro kept a firm grip on Sanji's hand as they moved through the crowd. Congratulations and words of praise assaulted the pair as they wove through the sea of people, but Zoro thanked and dismissed them quickly. He wasted no time in dressing and returning his weapons to their case. He took Sanji's hand again as they left the locker room to slip quickly up the stairs and towards the front door.

They were just to the threshold when a deep voice stopped Sanji in his tracks.

"Roronoa, aren't you forgetting something?"

The voice was like smoke. But not the bitter, tobacco flavored smoke that Sanji readily killed himself with every day. This smoke was black and thick. It slid over his skin like a soft caress. It filled Sanji's nose and ears, seemed to cloud his vision and crawl down into his lungs with every breath he took. If it was tangible it could have been poison chocolate. Every instinct Sanji had switched into defensive, screamed at him to throw his guard up.

Zoro tensed as well, Sanji could feel it in his hand. The swordsman turned around slowly, pulling the cook with him. The man standing before them was tall, dressed in a black suit and a white tie. His features were rough, but handsome. He had black hair that fell in tight ringlets to his shoulders. His eyes were dark, and his mouth was surrounded by a cleanly trimmed goatee.

"What's up, Lucci?" Zoro asked evenly. "What did I forget?"

Lucci stepped closer and Sanji fought a hard urge to back away. This man's presence crowded him, close to suffocated him, but Sanji composed himself and got a rein on his wayward emotions. He never backed down from anything. He stood by Zoro with his shoulders back and nonchalantly searched for a cigarette.

Lucci held out a small manila envelope to Zoro. "This evening's earnings," he said. A small smirk tugged at his lips. "You almost beat the club record." At this he turned to Sanji and smiled fully. "I'm glad to see you back, Sanji. Are you feeling well?"

Sanji let out a breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding. This man actually had a nice smile.

"Yeah," he said, returning the gesture as he lit his cigarette. "Feeling all right. I just get tired quick."

"Well." Lucci straightened his suit jacket and smoothed his tie. "Then rest well, and I will see you two back here on Monday?"

Zoro nodded and turned to pull Sanji towards the parking lot, but stopped when a ball of flailing arms and black hair attacked their captain.

"Lucciiiiiiiiii!" The rubbery mass of boy cried. "Let's fight! Come on, we have an hour before closing!"

Lucci folded his arms over his chest as Luffy clung to him like a monkey. He rolled his eyes and waved to Sanji as the blond chuckled and exited the building.

"Wow," Sanji muttered as Zoro and he made their way through rows of cars. "Luffy's got balls man, I would never challenge that guy. He's scary as fuck."

Zoro laughed and said over his shoulder, "Well, you know Luffy. I personally think Lucci refuses the challenge 'cause he's worried Luffy will actually beat him."

"Yeah." Sanji puffed on his smoke. "Could be…"

He let Zoro lead him towards the motorcycle, never pointing out the fact that the swordsman was still holding his hand. It didn't matter, because right then, Sanji didn't really mind.

X x X x X

Zoro was silent as the two made their way through the lobby and into the elevator. Sanji leaned against the rail and slipped his hands into his pockets watching the swordsman contemplate his boots.

"You must be exhausted," Sanji said. "You can have the bed tonight if you want."

Zoro turned to him then and smiled softly. "I'm actually so far from tired it's not even funny. I could run a marathon right now."

Sanji checked his watch. "Your fight was like an hour and a half ago! Adrenaline's gotta be out of your system."

Zoro shrugged as the elevator stopped and the door opened with a soft ding. The swordsman shifted the case on his shoulder and stepped over the threshold.

"Anticipation for a drink I guess."

Sanji followed and stood leaning against the wall as Zoro unlocked the door to their apartment. "A drink? At four thirty in the morning?"

"May be morning, but I'm gonna sleep all day. I don't work until five. So it's kind of like nighttime… sort of." Zoro carefully set the sword case down and tossed his jacket on the back of the couch. He headed towards the bedroom. "I'll be up for a while so you can have the bed."

Sanji thought about trying to sleep as keyed up as he was at the moment and cringed inwardly. He followed Zoro down the hall and pulled out his cigarettes.

"Don't worry about it," he muttered as he tossed the pack from hand to hand. "I'm not ready to go to bed either."

Zoro looked up from pulling a t-shirt from the dresser. "You wanna have a drink with me then? And by 'a drink' I mean a drink 'cause you can't hold your liquor for shit."

Sanji sputtered as he kicked his flip flops into the closet. "I can hold my liquor just fine, asshole. I just… choose not to drown myself if I'm with other people. It's… undignified and… unprofessional."

Zoro smirked and pushed passed him. "Well, you don't have to worry about being professional around me. I've seen you toasted plenty of times." He waved a hand over his shoulder as he made his way down the hall. "Change your clothes, I'm gonna take a shower."

Sanji watched the other man saunter into the kitchen with his clean clothes draped over his shoulder. Hmm… bossy much? He thought to himself as he stepped into the bedroom to find more comfortable clothes. Not that it was bad, Zoro was kind of cute bossy.

Sanji paused as he reached for the dresser drawer. Cute? Had he just… Sanji stepped forward and rested his hands on the dark wood. He really should stop fighting himself like this. He found Zoro attractive, that fact was so obvious he probably should be slapped in the face. He had also discovered this evening during the fight that the swordsman turned him on. Maybe not the physical Zoro, but definitely the auraof Zoro. The power and energy that came off him as he fought, the way he calculated his attacks, the confident smile that lit up his face when he knew he had won…

Oh yeah… that smile…

Sanji sighed and opened the drawers. He pulled out grey sweat pants and a deep blue t-shirt. As he dressed he thought about what he was going to do. Should he tell Zoro how he was feeling? Tell the swordsman how much he affected him? No… not yet. Sanji was sure he had feelings for Zoro, but that did not mean he was ready for the physical aspects of a relationship with a man. If he were to tell Zoro about his thoughts, his inner turmoil, it would get the swordsman's hopes up. It would be too cruel to string him along and then find later that he couldn't handle the sex. The man had been through enough. It would be like losing Sanji twice; Zoro would be crushed.

Turning off the light, Sanji made his way slowly down the hall towards the living room. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice what was sitting on the coffee table until he had sat down on the couch and leaned back to light up. Smiling to himself, Sanji eyed the items and lit his cigarette.

Before him sat a large wine decanter, glass, classic duck shape, and fitted into a stainless steel stand. It was filled with a red wine, and looked absolutely beautiful. Next to it sat a bottle, nearly empty, a crystal wine glass, and a small red box. Sanji opened the lid of the box first, finding an assortment of chocolates. He grinned as he removed his smoke and moved to inspect the bottle. St. Michelle, Canoe Ridge Estate Vineyard, 2002. Merlot. Sanji had heard of this wine, but had never had the money to get it for himself. He leaned over the decanter excitedly and breathed in the exquisite aroma. It was a mixture of raspberry and blueberry, and Sanji's mouth watered in anticipation.

The cook plucked a chocolate from the box and lifted it to his lips as he leaned back and propped his feet on the coffee table. Zoro had known to put the wine in a decanter. He had known Sanji would want it to breathe, letting the aromas release and therefore adding to the taste. That was impressive even though there was no doubt he had taught the swordsman to do it. The chocolates were an extra bonus and Sanji felt very pampered and spoiled as he relaxed against the soft cushions.

Zoro wasn't a bad guy at all… and if he treated Sanji like this regularly…

"That good enough for your highness?" Zoro's voice teased from behind the couch.

Sanji twisted around to watch the swordsman slide over the back of the couch and land beside him. He placed two full bottles of Jagermeister on the table and leaned back with a half full bottle of Southern Comfort.

Sanji eyed the liquor and made a face. "You are not going to drink all that."

Zoro grinned and tipped the bottle back. To Sanji amazement, he easily downed half the contents in three quick swallows. "Yes, I am."

Sanji sat up and waved his cigarette at the swordsman. "Okay, I'm not going to say anything about your appalling taste in liquor, but I will say, aren't you mixing? Isn't this going to like, kill you? Or at least give you the worst hangover in history tomorrow?"

Zoro just shook his head. "I never get hangovers. And this is whisky!" He held up the bottle. "You can drink anything with whisky!"

Sanji just smiled and shook his head. He reached out to the decanter and poured a glass of the merlot. He lifted it to his lips and breathed in the aroma again before closing his eyes and taking a small sip. He rolled the velvety texture over his tongue, savoring the mix of flavors. Raspberry, plum, cherry, and a hint of vanilla. Not too tannic and very smooth. He sipped again before plucking another chocolate from the box and leaning back onto the cushions.

Zoro watched as Sanji got reacquainted with his favorite wine. The way the blond's tongue touched the edge of the glass before the liquid slipped into his mouth awoke a pleasant feeling inside the swordsman. He had asked Sanji to have a drink with him, but had forgotten how sexy Sanji could be when he let his guard down. Now Zoro was almost regretting his request because keeping his hands to himself was going to be quite a trial. As the cook bit into a chocolate, Zoro had to look away. He downed the rest of the Southern Comfort and traded it for a full bottle of Jagermeister.

"Jesus Christ!" Sanji breathed as he watched Zoro down a swallow of the new bottle. "Where the fuck did you learn to drink like that!"

Zoro laughed. "Kuina… Same girl I was talking about earlier. She could drink all night and halfway through the next day. Nothing fazed her."

Sanji stared down into his glass thoughtfully. He swirled the liquid and watched it cling to the glass for almost a second before slipping to join the collective at the bottom. He had many questions to ask, but he wasn't going to be able to ask them until he got more alcohol in his system. He raised and downed the contents of the glass, immediately refilling it again and taking another long swallow. When he looked up, Zoro was eyeing him strangely.

Fuck, just do it…

"You two were… really close huh?" Sanji said quietly.

Zoro blinked for a moment as if he didn't understand the question. But then he nodded and took another long swallow of the Jager.

"We trained together at the dojo. She was in a class ahead of me, and she was… well, for a while she was my goal. I wanted to beat her because in my young, simple mind she was the best. If I beat her… then I was the best."

Sanji turned away and nodded. "You never beat her though, did you?"

"Nope." Sanji heard the swish of the bottle.

Swallowing another half a glass, Sanji pressed on. "Where do you think she'd be now if she had lived? If you had beat her?" When you had beaten her…

He heard Zoro shrug. "Probably married to me, and we'd have a bunch of terrorist kids with green hair."

Sanji frowned and turned back to his friend. The swordsman's cheeks were beginning to pink, and his eyelids were getting slightly droopy.

"But… isn't that… aren't you…"

"Gay?" Zoro finished for him. "You don't like that word do you?"

Sanji sighed and finished off his glass. He quickly poured more and turned to face Zoro, folding his legs underneath him.

"No, I don't dislike the word, and yes. Aren't you gay? How can you say you'd be married to her when…?" Sanji sighed as words failed him and he settled for taking another gulp of wine. His head was starting to feel thick and he was worried he was going to blurt out too much at one time.

Zoro looked carefully at Sanji, trying to decide if this was it. If this was where they were finally going to talk about everything. Was he ready for this? Was this where Sanji put up the final barriers and cut off every measure of hope Zoro still held on to?

Letting out a long breath, Zoro looked straight at Sanji. "You're the only guy I've ever slept with."

Sanji blinked. "Really?"

Zoro nodded. "It was all girls up to you."

Sanji squeezed his eyes shut and tried to sort out everything running through his mind.

"So… okay… you're saying we were both straight until we met each other?"

"Yeah, and I pretty much only like you. I mean as far as guys go."

"So wait..." Sanji paused to finish off his third glass. "You're saying that you went gay for me, but only me… Does… does that even qualify as gay? When you only like one guy?"

Zoro laughed as he tipped the bottle back and managed to dribble on his chin. He wiped it away with his palm and grinned at Sanji. His head was filled with cotton and his thoughts were disjointed and light. "I'm pretty sure that sleeping with another dude puts you into the 'not straight' category."

Pouring another glass, Sanji almost giggled. The room was swaying slightly and he felt his conversation coming a lot easier. Damn, I really can't hold my liquor for shit!

"But you like girls still?"

"Not really… but I could still sleep with one if she was hot enough."

"So you're bi."

Zoro shrugged. "Yeah, sure. Okay, we're bi."

"You're bi," Sanji pointed at Zoro wobbly.

"Right, I'm bi. You're gay."

Sanji started laughing. He couldn't help it, the alcohol was hitting him hard and the conversation was getting ridiculous. He tried to muster up some pretension of clarity so he could continue with his line of questioning.

Zoro finished off the first bottle of Jager and reached for the second. He knew getting this drunk was a bad idea, but if Sanji wanted to ask the things Zoro knew he wanted to ask, he couldn't answer him sober.

"So…" Sanji started. "We met at D's dojo… and we tried to kill each other… When did we become friends?"

Zoro leaned his head back and sighed deeply. "We were never friends."

"Huh?" Sanji asked stupidly.

"We were never friends," Zoro repeated. "We hated each other the moment we laid eyes on each other… in the beginning."

Sanji made a face and in doing so, caused wine to run out the side of his mouth. "Excuse me?"

Zoro sighed; this whole thing was so hard to explain. Their relationship had never been simple, and Zoro wasn't big on long speeches or tactful explanation. He slouched further down the couch and let the bottle rest on his chest. He let his gaze go unfocused as he remembered back two years ago when his life changed forever.

"We…" he started slowly. "We fought about everything. We were always challenging each other, about the most random, stupid shit. We'd call each other names and try to trip each other up all the time. Well, not literally, more like… well, yeah literally. You'd actually try and trip me for real all the time."

Sanji chuckled into his glass.

"We never agreed on anything… We didn't want to agree on anything. At first I made a conscious effort sometimes to take an opposite side on stuff just to piss you off… I'm sure you did it too. We just… I don't know. Just fucking hated each other… and I don't even know why really."

Zoro frowned as he tried to explain things he still didn't understand. He shifted on the couch; a thick buzz hummed through his body, but didn't affect his speech or slow his thinking. "But then there were our real fights…"

"Real fights?" Sanji asked.

Zoro nodded. "Yeah, our sparring. It was incredible. I would want to kill you for real all day, but then I'd go to the dojo to blow off some steam and if you were there… I'd get all excited. I knew I could fight you, really train with you, like no one else since Kuina. We'd be at each other's throats every second we were together… but then the instant we hit the mats… we were on the same wavelength… we were thinking and feeling the same thing. It was the closest kind of bond I'd had in a really fucking long time, and it was so weird 'cause for a while I really couldn't stand you…"

Sanji understood exactly what Zoro was saying, but he didn't comment. He sat quietly listening as the swordsman tapped a finger quietly on his bottle. He floated gently in the wine-induced haze, choking words back, but knowing he wouldn't be able to keep them in much longer. He wanted to know so badly.

Zoro felt the tension that had riddled Sanji's body since their bush together at the club finally ease. The cook curled up on the couch, his feet inches from Zoro's thigh, his breathing soft and shallow. When the question finally passed over Sanji's lips, Zoro didn't waver. He had readied himself.

"Zoro…" Sanji murmured as he studied something deep in his wine glass. "How'd it change? What… happened that… how did I…"

Zoro saw the cook's hands starting to shake and he sat up. He took one last long swallow from his bottle before placing it on the coffee table. He then took the glass from Sanji and set it next to the decanter. Pulling one leg underneath him, he turned to face the blond directly. He leaned in close and said softly, like they needed to be quiet or someone would overhear.

"You gonna be okay if I tell you?"

Sanji covered his eyes with his hands and nodded slowly.

"I just want… to understand…"

Zoro folded his arms over his chest to keep himself from reaching out to comfort the other man. "Do you want me to glaze over the details? Or do you want to whole story?"

"Just…" Sanji lowered his hands and looked at Zoro directly. His eyes blazed crystal blue, determined. "Just tell me everything. I need to hear it. I'm tired of running from all this…"

Zoro nodded slowly and took a deep breath.

"I…" Zoro began softly. "I only hated you in the very beginning. As we spent more time together at the dojo or just hanging out at Ace's… I started to notice little things about you that were so like me it was… scary. I started to see someone I could relate to on a level I couldn't have ever dreamed of or hoped for. I started to want…" Zoro clenched his jaw and looked away from Sanji. "I started to think about you more and more, away from the dojo, away from movie nights and barbeques… I wanted to be better friends, but we still managed to fight about anything and everything when we were together and I started to get really frustrated. I didn't understand what I was feeling and I could never keep my head around you long enough to talk to you about it."

Sanji lowered his head. "Not that I would have listened probably…"

Zoro nodded slowly. "Yeah… but anyway, getting back on track. There was this girl named Conis. She was beautiful, blond, sweet, her dad was the head of some pharmaceutical company. She was a lot like Kaya, only a little more shy. She was studying to be some kind of… cloud watcher or something… one of those weather people."

"Meteorologist?" Sanji quirked an eyebrow.

Zoro nodded. "Yeah, something like that. Anyway, you were seeing her, and she was starting to get that look in her eye. That whole I-need-stability-so-ask-me-to-marry-you-or-else kind of a thing."

"Oh yeah?" Sanji made a face.

"Yeah. So you backed out, and broke it off. You were nice about it, but never really gave her a real explanation why. Later at some party or some fucking function thing that Kaya was hosting, Conis was talking to people and Luffy, in all of his infinite wisdom, blurted out that it didn't work between her and you because no one would ever be more important to you than your 'best friend'."

Sanji shook his head. "Huh?"

"That's what I said, and Conis asked what he meant and Luffy was all 'Zoro of course'. I nearly dropped my glass in my… haste to leave. I was really… I don't know, embarrassed or something and didn't want to be around when that got back to you, so I slipped out and went to Ace's."

"I must have flipped a fucking lid," Sanji muttered.

"Yeah, you did. You figured out where I'd gone, and showed up at Ace's about an hour later. You were… so scary…"

"I was?" Sanji smirked.

"Yeah." Zoro ran a hand through his hair. "I expected you to come through the door kicking and screaming… trying to kill me… but you were so quiet. You just stood there with your hands in your pockets. I've only been scared like that one other time… You said I'd been doing and saying shit behind your back, trying to make people think you were gay. You painted a very… colorful picture for what you wanted to do to me."

Sanji lost his smile, thinking of how his mouth could get when he was really pissed.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered.

Zoro shook his head. "Don't be. I said some pretty shitty things right back. I'm glad you can't remember 'em."

Sanji laughed and the room spun. He steadied himself on the back of the couch and took a deep breath to calm himself.

"So then what?"

"Well..." Zoro scratched his jaw. "After that, you avoided me like the plague and I backed off because I didn't want to make you angrier. We stayed away from each other. We would make sure the other wasn't at a party or at someone's house before going over. We changed our schedules at the dojo so we never had to see each other. It was nuts." Zoro's gaze changed suddenly and one of his arms went to the back of the couch. He took a deep breath and looked down at his hand playing with a string on his pants. "I'm sorry I can't tell you anything about what you were going through, you never really gave me any details because you said you didn't really get it. But I can tell you what happened to me- what I was feeling..."

Sanji leaned in and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Okay."

Zoro looked up at him and held his gaze for several long seconds. Finally, he spoke. "That two, three weeks where we didn't see each other… I started to get… antsy. I missed our sparring matches… I missed you. I started going to the dojo at weird times so I might 'accidently' run into you and you'd be so mad, that we could fight. But you were just… nowhere." Zoro's eyes dropped again and he watched his hand fidgeting with the string. "I started to think about you all the time. When I was teaching class, when I was training, in the evening just lying around… I couldn't concentrate or meditate 'cause I couldn't get you out of my head and I started to get so angry. I was already so pissed because of the misunderstanding, but then I got even more pissed cause I couldn't see you, and everything was so fucked up I started to wonder if I was going crazy."

Sanji listened quietly, entranced. Wondering if he had been feeling the same way, wondering if he had stayed up late at night missing the swordsman… thinking about him during work… being unable to concentrate…

He sure as hell knew what that felt like now.

"I ended up staying at the dojo one night after my class and beating the shit out of a few of the practice dummies. I had seriously reached the end of my… whatever you wanna call it- patience, rope… sanity… I wanted to kill something but at the same time I just wanted to see you so bad… and then… you just showed up." Zoro paused for a moment. He let his thoughts wander, back to the night at the dojo… of Sanji standing in the doorway.

Sanji held a cigarette lazily between his lips. One blue eye glared at him between a curtain of golden hair. His posture was relaxed, bored even, but the swordsman knew better than to let his guard down.

"You saw me and just stood in the doorway forever. You told me later you were thinking if you killed me, how you'd get rid of the evidence and if you'd ever be able to look Chopper in the face again."

Despite the intensity of the moment, Sanji had to laugh. Zoro couldn't help but chuckle along with him. The mood lifted slightly and Zoro continued the story with his head a little higher.

Sanji shrugged out of his jacket. He pulled at his tie, roughly jerking the fabric from around his neck before tossing it aside. He kicked his shoes off and growled deep in his throat.

"Get a sword."

"What?" Zoro asked lamely, his throat dry.

"I said you better get a fucking sword, asshole. I'm gonna kill you."

"You took off your shoes and your jacket and told me to get a sword, we were fighting for real. I had been waiting and wanting it for so long I almost tripped over myself to grab Wado from her case."

"You fought me with Wado?" Sanji asked, amazed.

Zoro nodded. "Of course… Anyway, we fought for a little while, and your attacks were so vicious I was pretty sure you really were out for blood. I just tried to defend myself, while you pulled out moves I'd never seen before and haven't again to this day."

Sanji's back bowed and his legs spun over his head. His speed was uncanny, and he seemed to be incapable of tiring. Zoro could only watch in amazement and defend against the onslaught of attacks. He watched Sanji's eyes as they blazed in the dim lights of the training room. The cook was furious. He wasn't holding anything back.

"Then… it got weird."

Sanji's stomach knotted. "Weird?"

"Yeah, you suddenly used your hands."

"What!" Sanji's mouth fell open.

"That's why I didn't know what to do. In all the time I had known you, I had never once seen you use your hands- your fists. I never saw it coming. You clipped me so hard in the jaw I fell backwards, right on my ass."

Sanji unconsciously looked down at his right hand, obviously not seeing any damage, but studying the knuckles before turning his gaze back to Zoro. The swordsman had slouched again and had shut his eyes, folding his arms tightly over his chest again.

"So…" Sanji pressed gently. "What did you do then?"

Zoro let out a shaky breath and Sanji wasn't sure if it was a sigh or a laugh.

Zoro held his jaw as the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth. What the fuck just happened? He'd used his hands! When the fuck had he started to use his hands!

Sanji turned away from him and started to pace. Zoro heard the blond muttering under his breath as he stalked in front of the swordsman like some caged feline. The cook's gaze was hostile whenever his icy blue eyes locked with his own. It took several minutes for Zoro to make out what Sanji was saying under his breath.

"Fucking hate you, you son of a bitch… Fuck you and your damn face, and your damn smile…"

Zoro stared up at the other man almost in a daze. What was he talking about? What the hell was going on?

Suddenly Sanji stopped. He turned to look at Zoro and plucked his spent cigarette from his lips. A moment of harsh silence passed and Zoro could hear his own heart beat. His pulse had risen under the intense stare from the cook and he couldn't understand why.

Moving slowly, deliberately, Sanji stepped closer to Zoro and placed a foot on both sides of the other man's hips. He lowered himself to his knees, effectively straddling the stunned swordsman. The cook grabbed Zoro's shirt collar in a death grip and snarled into his face.

"Why the fuck are you doing this to me?"

"I didn't do anything. I just…" Zoro's eyelids shut tighter. "I just sat there stupid while you stood there almost breathing fire for a long time… Then… then you sort of just… crawled on top of me…"

Sanji's heart stopped. His entire thought process shut down momentarily as he tried to understand the implications of what Zoro was telling him.

"E-excuse me?" He almost choked.

Zoro's heart pounded against his ribcage. The contact of the cook's hips against his own was like fire. Heat coiled in his belly and tremors shot up and down his spine. His breath quickened and he instinctively reached out and took the cook's hips in his hands. Sanji reacted instantly, pulling Zoro's lips against his own, his tongue pushed past the swordsman's lips, pressing deep inside.

Zoro's heart leapt into his throat as he kissed back. He felt Sanji's erection rub against his stomach and moaned at the surprising sensation. Thoughts and fears flashed through the swordsman's head as he pulled the blond tightly against him. Sanji released his collar and dragged fingers roughly through his green hair. He used his powerful hips and thighs to push Zoro onto his back. The swordsman heard cloth ripping and realized too late that his ruined shirt was being pulled from his body.

When the cook's mouth left his to bite and suck at his neck, Zoro finally found his voice.

"Woa, wait…" he gasped. "Hey, stupid cook… what is this?"

"God damnit, fucking marimo." Sanji growled. "Stop talking to me and take my clothes off."

Zoro shook his head, trying to stop the images from flooding his memory. "Um… You climbed into my lap and… kissed me."

Sanji stared at the other man in horror. He had been hoping that maybe he had heard Zoro wrong, but now he couldn't deny it.

"Are you saying…" he started, but a wave of dizziness washed over him. He took a moment to close his eyes and collect himself before continuing. "Are you trying to tell me that I made the first move? That I initiated this?"

Zoro felt his heart drop into his gut.

"Yes… that's what I'm telling you…"

Sanji turned his body to rest his feet on the floor. He put his hands on his knees and gripped the fabric of his sweatpants so hard his knuckles turned white. Everything he had been agonizing over the last week was suddenly turned upside-down. His world tilted and he found himself lost. No ground on which to stand on, no idea what to think or feel at all.

"Sanji?" Zoro asked quietly. "Sanji… you said you'd be okay if I told you… Where are you right now?"

Sanji ran a hand over his eyes and grabbed his pack of cigarettes from the coffee table. He lit up with as much grace as he could and folded his hands below his chin to keep them from shaking.

"I just…" he whispered, "never thought that I would… be the one that…"

Zoro fumbled with Sanji's belt and slid his hands into the cook's slacks. The blond hissed as Zoro's fingers wrapped around his hard flesh. The swordsman took Sanji's momentary lapse of coherency as a chance to flip them over. He pressed himself down on the other man, grinding his hips against Sanji's, and biting fiercely into the pale skin of his neck.

Sanji cried out below him and started to buck his hips.

"Take them off," he commanded. "Take them off, Zoro…"

Zoro obeyed without hesitation and jerked the cook's pants down his hips. He pulled off Sanji's boxers and socks along with them, leaving the blond completely nude beneath him. The swordsman was rendered immobile as he took in the sight. He had never seen anything so sexy in his entire life.

Zoro shifted on the couch and brought his feet to the floor also. He rested his elbows on his knees and placed his chin in his hands. He was starting to get hard as his memories flashed before him clear as day. If Sanji noticed it would be the end of their conversation. He tried to calm himself, taking slow shallow breaths, but the images kept coming.

"Did we…" Sanji ran a hand through his hair. "Did we just go at it right there? Or what?"

As he stared down at Sanji's gorgeous body, a pair of long pale legs wrapped around his waist and threw him to the side. Zoro landed hard on his back, but ignored the pain as Sanji leaned down and kissed his lips.

"This is how we're gonna do this," Sanji breathed against his skin. "You can top, but I call the shots. I lead this, you got it?"

The swordsman could only nod.

Zoro threaded his fingers together and hid his mouth behind his hands.

"Yeah, we did."

When Zoro heard no response, he stole a glance at the cook. Sanji was staring at the floor deep in thought, a look defeat painted across his features. The swordsman's chest tightened and he had to look away. He had known this was probably a bad idea, but had wanted to talk to Sanji about it so badly. He had wanted to help the cook understand; help him to realize there was nothing wrong with what the two of them had.

Finally, Sanji leaned back against the cushions and took a long drag. Exhaling slowly, he opened his mouth to ask his final question. The heart of all his worries, the thing he had feared and loathed and wondered about almost every minute the past week.

"I was… the girl… wasn't I?" He asked softly.

Zoro turned to look at him. "What?"

Sanji glared at his cigarette. "You heard me."

Zoro stared at the blond, slowly beginning to understand the cook's hesitation. His fears and doubts were all centered around a concept that was neither important or even realistic. He was still thinking of the inner workings of a gay relationship like a straight man. His worries were unfounded, based off speculations and stories he probably had picked up while living with his father and working with retired military men. The heart of Sanji's problem was something so irrelevant.

Zoro held Sanji's hips and ran comforting circles into the pale skin with his thumbs. He gazed up at the other's face as it hovered inches from his own. Sanji's eyes were closed and his jaw was clenched in concentration as he took small shaky breaths.

"You okay?" Zoro whispered.

Sanji's arms were trembling as he showed his teeth in a small snarl. "Shut up, I'm fine. I'm just trying to… adjust."

Zoro didn't miss the pain that was hidden below Sanji's tough and stubborn exterior. He removed a hand from the cook's hip and place in gently against Sanji's cheek.

"It's all right, Sanji," Zoro whispered. "You're strong… It's all right…"

Sanji's eyes opened and Zoro was startled to see them shining with unshed tears.

"You…" Sanji murmured. "You called me Sanji… That's the first time I've ever heard you use my name…"

Zoro could feel himself blushing. "Yeah… I'm gonna call you that from now on… Is that okay?"

Sanji nodded, started to move, and Zoro was lost.

Zoro wanted to laugh, but at the same time he wanted to cry. The problem was so simple, and yet in its simplicity, it probably meant that Sanji was never going to be okay with a physical anythingwith him ever again. Zoro's heart started to break anew, but he made one last attempt to bring Sanji around.

"There was no girl or guy in our relationship, Sanji." Zoro started, resting his forehead in his hands. "Sure I 'topped' most of the time, but that's not what it's about. Haven't you ever been with a girl that took the lead? Just because you're a 'bottom' doesn't mean…" Zoro sighed. He wasn't explaining this very well. He rubbed his eyes as he suddenly felt very exhausted. "It didn't matter who was the 'guy' or the 'girl'. There was no such thing. None of that mattered."

He turned to Sanji then and tried to keep all traces of anguish and pleading from his face as he press on.

"What did matter was that we cared about each other… That's it…"

Sanji's entire body showed no emotion. His face was blank, his posture indifferent as he took a final drag from his cigarette. He sat up and placed the bud in the ashtray. He didn't look at Zoro as brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs.

"That's it…" He echoed. "Simplified… we formed a bond in our mutual dislike and it evolved into something deeper through our equal passion for martial arts... kind of."

Zoro nodded. "You could say that."

Sanji finally looked at him, his eyes holding something Zoro couldn't read.

"But it can't be like that again can it?"

Zoro had believed there was no feeling in the world, worse than the one he had felt when he thought Sanji was dead. Now he knew he'd been gravely mistaken. Knowing that Sanji - his Sanji - was dead and gone forever made the swordsman feel like he was dying inside. A sharp physical pain tore through his chest and he turned away so Sanji couldn't see the look on his face. He clenched his jaw to fight the tears that threatened to come, and he slowly leaned back against the cushions.

"Uh…" He choked out. "No… I guess not."

Silence stretched for long minutes before Sanji whispered softly.

"Thank you, Zoro… for explaining it all to me… I appreciate it."

Zoro sunk down and rested his head against the arm rest. He curled in on himself and tried to fight the nausea that cramped his stomach.

"You're welcome…"

Sanji sat in silence for a long time. He thought about everything Zoro had said and listened to the swordsman's breathing until he was sure the man had fallen asleep. His thoughts were clearer now, the heavy buzz had left him, and Zoro's explanation had given him things to guide him in making a decision.

He cared about Zoro, he had already come to terms with that. Zoro obviously cared about him too, judging from the way he talked about their past together, and by the sad look in his eyes as he spoke.

No girl in the relationship… none of that 'top and bottom' stuff was relevant… Zoro didn't think any less of him… his friends didn't think any less of him… They were even happy for him… Zoro made him feel alive and safe… wanted…

Oh just stop. Fucking let it happen you fucking pansy…

Sanji turned to look at Zoro curled at the other end of the couch. His face was troubled, even in sleep. Sanji felt guilty when he studied the hard lines in the other man's brow, and moved closer to run a hand through the other man's hair.

Tomorrow he would make everything up to Zoro. He would take his first step in resurrecting what he had shared with the green-haired swordsman. Zoro would help him, he was sure of that. As rough and unrefined as Zoro seemed, Sanji knew he was capable of an unmeasured gentleness. There was a caring and compassion wrapped in that outer exterior that knew no bounds.

How Sanji knew these things, he wasn't sure. But he had a feeling so strong inside of him, he had no choice but to believe it.

Slowly, the cook stood and stretched out Zoro's legs, getting him in a more comfortable position. He then moved to stretch out beside the swordsman, his face resting inches from Zoro's and his leg draped over the other man's. He tentatively reached out and placed his scarred hand over Zoro's calloused one, lacing their finger together.

The lines in Zoro's brow disappeared and Sanji watched his handsome face relax with his touch. Sanji smiled softly and leaned his head in to brush his lips over Zoro's.

Tomorrow, he thought as rested his head and closed his eyes. Tomorrow he would fix what Zoro thought would never be replaced.

TBC

Note: You can read what happened that night at the dojo in full in "Recollections Series: Story Five". Just look for it in my story list.