As always, I own nothing HP. Just enjoy the company of the boys once in a while. Enjoy.
Chapter 12
Harry had just finished tying his shoes when Severus entered the ward. He looked up as Severus approached and said, "When are we leaving?"
"We will leave as soon as you are ready. Poppy has cleared you physically to travel by floo to Grimmauld Place. Once were are settled, we will have to sit and talk."
Severus summoned Dobby asking him to take both his and Harry's belongings to No. 12 and set everything up for them so it was ready when they arrived.
"We will be using the fire in Albus' office so we can go whenever you are ready."
"What did Albus say when you told him about all of this?" Harry asked moving his hand between himself and Severus.
"He was less surprised than Poppy but didn't indicate any particular feelings," Severus replied as the men left the room, "I don't think he will tell us if he does have any strong feelings unless it suits his purpose."
Mustering his Gryffindor courage, Harry stopped and turned to Severus, "I would prefer he not be involved in any aspect of my summer, therapy or anything else."
"I will keep that in mind and I agree. You should probably make your feelings known to Sirius at some point as well. He seems to be willing to share everything with Albus." Harry hadn't thought about that, but made a mental note to do so as soon as possible.
The men arrived at the Gargoyle that guarded Albus' staircase, gave the password, "Fudge Flies", and then ascended the staircase to the office. Severus knocked on the door and the reply came, "Enter."
"Are you ready to go Harry?" Albus inquired.
"Yes." Harry replied softly.
"Harry, please know you are welcome to come back here anytime before school begins and if you need to talk, I will make myself available."
"Thank you, I will keep that in mind."
Knowing that Sirius would be waiting on the other end to catch Harry when he arrived, the men each took a handful of floo powder and, in turn, threw the powder and said, "12 Grimmauld Place, Library."
When Severus stepped out of the floo, he heard Harry saying, "No I think that will be fine, thank you. But if Severus isn't happy with it, we will change it."
"Happy with what?"
"Sirius was saying he's set the whole third floor up for us as though it's a loft, there's a kitchen, 2 bedrooms and a third has been converted to a sitting room," Harry explained. Sirius continued forlornly, "You are welcome to take meals down here whenever you wish. In fact, I would love it if you would at least once a week."
"Oh yes, and I've warded the floor so that only the two of you may enter. If any of the rest of us wish to enter the floor, we have to be accompanied by one of you or have your permission."
"Thank you Sirius, I believe that will work fine." Severus replied, a bit surprised by the consideration given to the arrangement. This would be very helpful with Harry's therapy.
"Kreacher has dinner prepared and waiting. Are you both ready to eat?"
"Harry?" Severus queried, not wanting to make decisions for him. He wanted to give Harry some freedom, knowing it would be the first step in Harry feeling more control over his life.
"Yeah, that would be fine."
The three men sat around the kitchen table eating and trying not to think about the elephant in the room, namely the new relationship and what it meant. Harry refused to look at either man, wondering what they thought about him and what he had done to his uncle. He was afraid that Sirius would finally realize that he wasn't worth his time and send him away. And as for Severus, well, just because they had this bond, didn't mean that he had to want to be around him or have anything to do with him. He thought what he had done was illegal and he worried that if the ministry linked the men to him, they would end up in Azkaban. He knew Sirius was in no condition to go back and Severus, what with his duel role as spy, wasn't either. Frankly, he doubted either man would last a week.
Sirius continually looked back and forth between the other two wondering how this would work and if he could learn to live with it. Having Severus in the house was definitely not his idea of a good time, but if it was necessary to keep Harry in the house and help him heal, he would have to buck up and deal with it. He loved his godson more than life itself; he was all he had left of James and Lily. He'd let them down once before, and vowed he would never do it again.
Severus knew what the first conversation with Harry had to be, but focused on his food and thought about how to approach it so as not to frighten his mate. He, himself, had known for some time that he was gay but didn't think Harry had come to this realization yet. That, combined with everything that had happened in the last few days, could be a stumbling block in his therapy.
Hedwig arrived as dinner was ending with a note from Poppy, "Poppy will be arriving the day after tomorrow." Harry informed the room as he gave Hedwig a bit of meat from his plate.
Sirius summoned Kreacher, "Please make a guest room available for Madame Pomfrey who will be arriving in two days. She can use my mother's old room since it now clean." Sirius had been working on cleaning the house, trying to rid it of the bad memories of his miserable childhood. The first room done had been his mother's, as he wanted to eliminate any reference or memento of her. That woman had been the thorn in his side for many years, and he would be damned if he would let it continue.
First thing to go had been the portrait from the wall. He had to threaten to paint it black to get her to have Kreacher remove the sticking charm holding it in place. She was currently residing in an unused room at Malfoy manor, having been removed from the library wall after Narcissa's death.
"Harry, I was thinking we should all sit down tonight and discuss the situation and iron out any disagreements now." Sirius said.
"Sirius, I believe Harry and I need some time together bef…""I disagree, I think…""No. It's time that Harry and I…"
"Doesn't anyone care what I think?" Harry said quietly. He was starting to feel as though they forgot he was in the room and the arguing was upsetting him. "Why can't they just act their age," he thought as the back and forth continued.
Finally, just as Harry was about to scream for them to shut up, Severus put his foot down and said, "No Sirius. This will not be controlled by you. This is something Harry and I must work through together; you can be a part of the other stuff, but our relationship is our business and our business only."
Harry smiled and chuckled as he took in the look on his godfather's face. The shock was not disguised and neither was the disgust at the idea of the relationship. Harry inhaled and stepped forward between the men, and facing Severus said, "I will not be talked about as if I am not in the room. I agree that we all need to talk but it will not be tonight;" turning to Sirius, he concluded, "and as for my relationship with Severus, that is private and will remain so." With that, he left the room, leaving the two shocked men to gape at each other.
Harry entered his room and began to change his clothes while holding a running dialogue with himself, "Talking about me like I'm not there. Making plans for me and about me. I'm an adult for god sake. Can make my own decisions."
Severus, upon entering the sitting room, heard Harry talking in his bedroom. He knew it would not do well to push Harry at this point, so he waited for the boy to come to him. So he seated himself on the velvet sofa and took in his new surroundings.
The walls were done in a tasteful heather gray, creating a gentle, calming effect. The curtains were ivory and lined to prevent the light from coming in if it wasn't wanted. The furniture was comfortable and had that "lived in" look, as if it had been used regularly and cared for lovingly.
Severus suddenly recognized it. It had been in the living room of Harry's parent's house in Godric's Hollow. Sirius must have taken it to remind him of James and Lily. Hopefully, Harry would understand and feel safer with this knowledge and a bit of his past to comfort him.
Severus, without realizing he was doing it, began comparing the softness of the material to what he imagined Harry's skin would feel like. Harry walked in just then and noticed the blush on the other man's face and wondered what had caused it. "Am I interrupting something," he asked shyly.
"No, please come in and sit. This couch is very comfortable, but I believe the chair would be also," Severus replied, wanting to give Harry options and not push any physical contact that he was not ready for, while his mind was wondering "Why am I babbling like a nervous teenager."
"Um, so where do we begin?" Harry asked as he sat in the chair closest to the couch.
Hoping not to scare the young man, but also wanting to get it out in the open, Severus decided to take the lead and get directly to the biggest obstacle they had, "Well, I'm guessing the fact that you are gay is not something you were aware of as yet?"
Harry paled, "Well, I hadn't really thought much about it. I have been attracted to girls but my attraction but that's all it's been. I didn't really think about all the things guys usually do about girls, and I always thought the feelings I had about the blokes were just very friendly. I guess if I am really honest with myself, I'm not surprised."
"So you haven't been in a relationship before? With anyone?"
"No, I haven't. Have you?" Harry ventured to ask.
"Yes, I have been in a few but nothing overly serious. My last "relationship" was a year ago, with Bellatrix."
"I'm sorry about that." Harry looked up startled by Severus' hearty laughing and realized how what he just said sounded and began to laugh also. "So am I Harry. But I suppose everyone has to experiment a little. I just go to it later than most."
"Well, now that the ice has been broken, we should really talk."
"Yes, but you will have to start this because I don't have a clue where to begin."
"Ok Harry, do you have any questions I can answer right now?"
Changing the topic of conversation to something he was very worried about, he asked "Am I going to be in trouble for using magic against my uncle?"
"No. Albus has spoken with the ministry, explained the situation and reminded the Minister that you are now of age. The Minister begrudgingly went along as you were, technically, 17 at the time the magic manifested and because you didn't know that you were doing it. While the intent was not conscious, the result was desired so he could choose to punish you, but as we both know, Albus can be very persuasive."
Harry began to shake a little at the thought of what the punishment could have been but decided he had other questions that he wanted answered so he pushed the worry aside, "Does the minister know about…us?"
"No, Harry he doesn't. Mated wizards are not required to register unless they have another facet to themselves would require registering, such as being an animagus. You are aware of all the people who know about us, unless you want to tell someone."
"Well, at some point, I suppose I'll have to tell Ron and Hermione at the very least but probably the whole Weasley clan," Harry said and the added quickly, "If that's ok with you of course."
"Harry, you may tell whomever you wish. The Weasley's are your family, of sorts, so I understand wanting to tell them, but if I may ask, please wait until we figure it all out. I think it will be easier for us to get acquainted if fewer people know."
"I'm not sure I want anyone to know about my private life. So much of my life has been bandied about like it doesn't belong to someone real, who feels, and I'm not eager for more of that." Harry was beginning to feel more comfortable, since Severus was acting as though this whole thing was no big deal, so he moved to the couch and sat beside him.
Severus, hoping was hiding the surprise and joy he suddenly felt, he repositioned himself so he was facing Harry a bit more and their knees were almost touching. He had hoped that someday, maybe in a few weeks or maybe months, Harry would be comfortable enough to sit this close to him. He felt his heart beat increase at the nearness and hoped it didn't show on him face that he was thrilled Harry had moved.
"What happens when we get back to school?"
"Well first of all, this being your last year, you will have to be very focused on your studies so there won't be as much time as we might like for us to be together," Severus started to explain, noticing that Harry paled in reaction to this, "but we'll have to make time. Also, you will likely be staying in my suite in the dungeon or at least close by. As for classes…"
Harry interrupted at this point by placing a hand on Severus' arm and said, "I, um…well I just…I don't know if…"
Severus looked up from the soft hand on his arm praying the boy didn't notice the goose bumps on his skin and saw the stunned look on Harry's face. He realized, too late, that this might have been the wrong time to bring this up as Harry began to hyperventilate.
Severus reached out to Harry and put his arm around the boy, whom – he noticed – flinched slightly. As he pulled him closer, he tried to reassure him that he meant no harm. Harry tensed, but then relaxed into the man's arms, taking advantage of the contact and needing someone to hold him. He turned and put his legs over Severus' and rested his head on the man's shoulder as he began to cry.
"Harry, it's ok. You don't have to think about any of this now. I'm sorry I even brought it up…I shouldn't have brought this up yet, I knew it was too soon," Severus scolded himself as he ran his hand hesitantly up and down the trembling boy's back. "There's nothing to worry about now."
"I'm (gulp) sorry I can't (sob) stop crying. I don't (sob) know what's wrong (gulp)."
"You're overwhelmed right now. And who wouldn't be. You have experienced more abuse and trauma in your life than most people could even imagine, and had more stress in the last couple of days than most do in years, and then I go and start talking as if we have already made decisions we haven't. I'm sorry, love."
Harry looked up at the term of endearment and without thinking, reached up placing a gentle kiss on the surprised man's mouth. Severus had to remind himself not to get carried away as he cautiously returned the kiss. The feeling was amazing, and he looked forward to many more chances to feel these soft, full lips on his. He made a promise to himself that he would not force this issue with Harry, lest he never feel this bliss again.
Harry broke the kiss after what seemed like seemed like only a second, pushed away and said, "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me."
"You have nothing to apologize for Harry, you may do that anytime you wish. I have no problem with it," Severus said as smile grew on his face.
It was something Harry didn't think he had ever seen, but knew instantly he liked seeing it. If this was what it took to make this man so happy, he knew he would do it often – for both their sakes.
Harry chuckled, "I think I should go to bed and maybe we can talk more tomorrow?"
"Have a nice night and sleep well. If you need anything my door will be open. Do not hesitate to call for me or come over."
"Thank you for being patient with me about this," Harry turned and walked into his room leaving to door open a crack.
Severus stayed in the sitting room a little longer, until his pulse slowed and his hormones got under control, and then he retired to his room leaving the door completely open.
