Calm Before the Storm

A/N: Look close enough and you'll notice a short cameo appearance of two dragons from my other AQ fanfic, Scales and Tales.

Tugis was standing in his own little section of Darkovia talking to himself and plotting the battle in his mind…despite how crazy and psychotic it may seem.

"YES!!! Master Irrovs let Tugis go free! Now Tugis can go play with Lycans until Tugis' claws fall off!"

Tugis stopped talking so he could smile demonically and giggle to himself like a maniac. He started hopping up and down like a jackrabbit repeatedly muttering, "TUGIS GETS TO PLAY! TUGIS GETS TO PLAY!!" like he just OD'd on caffeine.

"Tugis is so happy that Tugis just…"

Tugis got on all fours and suddenly howled at the moon with all of his strength. It was just impossible for him to control his attitude and contain himself. He felt so full of joy that the only way to express it was by howling.

"Yes, yes, yesssss…" laughed Tugis, grabbing large clumps of dirt in his paws.

"Tugis will start off by…by greeting those dogs the same way Tugis greets other animals. HA HA!! And then, Tugis will rip their heads off and play soccer with them before Tugis sucks out the Lycans' brains. From that point on, Tugis will simply ravage and destroy whatever werewolf Tugis wants to…and no one will stop Tugis!"

Tugis heard his stomach growl loudly and looked down at it.

"Tugis knows you're hungry. Just…just wait a little longer and you'll have pounds upon pounds of Lycan meat inside you. Tugis will take care of you."

But his stomach only grew louder and continued to growl at him even more.

"There's no need to get angry at Tugis! Stop growling at Tugis; Tugis knows you're not full…but you have to wait. Master said you have to wait!"

Tugis' stomach growled so much that Tugis actually groaned in pain and had to hold his stomach to cease the growling. Tugis sighed heavily and looked at his stomach.

"Fine. It's fine; Tugis will get food for you."


Meanwhile, Bjovak was sitting upon a bulky log talking to thin air. Yes…he was talking to absolutely no one. At least, no one that any of the other werepyres could see. Along with his schizophrenia, Bjovak was born with a special trait that allowed him to see ghost that didn't reveal themselves. This was actually a pretty useful talent when in battle because he could communicate with fallen werepyres that would advise him of the enemy's battle attack.

"So what's it feel like to die?" asked Bjovak.

The werepyre spirit sighed. "What, you mean actually dying right then and there, or the afterlife?"

"Afterlife."

The werepyre spirit shrugged. "Peaceful…there are no battles to worry about and everyone seems friendly with each other, like some happy sappy cabin full of werepyres. It SUCKS ASS!!! Why's it so goddamn peaceful?!!?"

Bjovak laughed heartily. "Hey, you're the one who tried to take on Daxxil and his smelly cronies Wylite! Not surprised you got scalped!"

"Yeah, you can talk. You still have the top of your head."

"What're you talking about? You look perfectly fine to me."

"No my spirit looks fine. My body's brain is exposed and in a hole in the ground where a bunch of glow worms and all sorts of bugs are crawling through my innards."

"Yeah, me and the boys and no fun burying you at all. Your corpse reeked and I think you released your bowels after you died…unless one of my men crapped himself."

Bjovak and Wylite's spirit stopped talking when a large werepyre wearing a green shirt landed in front of the two of them. It was Tugis, who was slobbering all over himself.

"…I'm not familiar with you. What's your name werepyre?"

"Tugis' name is Tugis! Tugis is a very unique werepyre; yes he is. What's yours?" asked Tugis, wagging his tail.

"My name's Bjovak. I myself am a unique werepyre as well, although many other don't seem to treasure this talent."

Tugis sat down on the log next to Bjovak, unaware that he was sitting on Wylite's spirit.

"What talent is that? Tugis love werepyres with special talents!"

"Even though I have schizophrenia, I can talk to ghosts and spirits. Not really sure why, but people find that annoying."

Tugis gasped happily. "You can talk to ghosts?! Tugis wants to talk to ghosts too! Why can't Tugis speak to the undead?!"

"Get your fat ass offa me!" yelled Wylite's spirit.

Bjovak chuckled. "Well if you move to your left a little you can speak to one."

"Huh?"

"You're sitting on Wylite-Drakkson's ghost."

Tugis quickly shifted to his left and got off Wylite's spirit.

"Do you see him Tugis?" asked Bjovak.

Tugis focused his eyes onto the space between himself and Bjovak, but he didn't see much of anything.

"No, no…Tugis can't see him."

"Damn! I was hoping I could talk to someone else besides this guy!"

"WAIT!! Tugis heard him! Tugis heard the dead werepyre speak!"

"…Really? You can hear me but you can't see me?" asked Wylite's spirit.

"Yep. Nice to meet you! What's your name?"

"Wylite-Drakkson. I got my scalp sliced off by one of those smelly Lycans."

Tugis smiled. "That's okay. That's why Tugis and Bjovak and Master Irrovs will go and play with those Lycans today!"

"Uh…play?"

"Yes, play!"

Everything became awkwardly silent and nobody said anything a while.

"Kay, I'm gonna…I'm gonna go now. See you guys later." said Wylite's spirit.

"See ya!" shouted Tugis, waving goodbye.

Just as Wylite's spirit flew away, Tugis started to sniff the air and his nose guided him to Bjovak's feet.

"What, you gonna tell me how bad my feet stink too? It's not my fault all the males in my family suffered from a skin rash on their soles that gave them foot odor!"

"Not the feet Bjovak!"

Tugis continued to sniff the ground next to Bjovak's feet and suddenly stuck his head into the ground, slurping like crazy. When his head reemerged, he had a bunch of nasty flees in his mouth that were buried in the soil. But they weren't normal sized flees at all. The flees most commonly found in Lore come from a Wild Bingo and are from another planet. The flees were also about the size of a werepyre and were grotesque and fat. They tasted like glue to Tugis, but he needed to eat something or else his stomach would eat itself. Tugis gulped the ugly bugs and patted his belly, satisfied with his meal.

"Are you happy now stomach?! Tugis has fed you!"

Bjovak raised an eyebrow and said, "You're a fairly weird werepyre."

"That's why you all love Tugis!" said Tugis, with a wicked smile on his face again.


Back on the Lycans' side of the conflict, Daxxil was greeting an old dragon friend he knew a while back. His name was Daxin-Backbreath, a relatively unhygienic WereDragon who was known for pranking several other young dragons in the past.

"Hey Daxin! How's it goin' my fellow WereDragon?" asked Daxxil.

Daxin-Backbreath laughed heartily. "It's been an eventful life."

"I'm guessing you haven't been thrown in more holes filled with dragon dung, right?"

"That was over 12 years ago! When will you people get over that?!!?"

Daxxil laughed. "There are some smells you can't wash away and that was one of them!"

"Eh, I sleep in my own crap anyways and it's not like I brush my teeth. So what do you need me for again?" asked Daxin.

"The Were-King and a large sum of our troops are going into battle pretty soon, and we get this feeling that Wolfwing has a trap planned in store for us, something involving plasma dragons. I need you to get some of your friends to patrol the skies over Razmik Canyon as backup in case this plan follows through."

"Anything for you Daxxil! Just as long as you scratch under my chin…"

Daxxil started to stroke his claws underneath Daxin-Backbreath's chin and he started sighing contently with his right hind leg and tail rapidly going up and down. Daxxil raised Daxin-Backbreath ever since he was a little baby WereDragon. Perhaps this would explain why he stank as bad as his owner does.

"Don't worry Daxxil! I'll get those dragons in the sky faster than you can say 'Thrasher's your uncle!'"

"What?"

"Exactly."

Daxin-Backbreath spread his wings and flew away into the night sky.


Howndst found the Were-King's son, Thrasher, standing in a secluded broken down building practicing using different types of fire and light elemental swords and weapons. Thrasher knew that the werepyres were possibly planning on trying to attack him first, so he needed to re-familiarize himself with the weapons. Besides, Thrasher wouldn't be a very good leader if he didn't know how to fight like his own Lycans.

"Hey Thrasher?" asked Howndst.

Thrasher put down his Fearsome DuaLight and responded by asking, "What is it Howndst?"

"You got this…funny feeling in the pit of your stomach? Like something big is about to happen?"

"No. Well, not including the minor indigestion, no. Why, did someone tell you something?"

"I just think this battle is going to change things, that's all."

"We got over 3000 Lycans who are about to face off against twice as many werepyres. I just got promoted and we just had a funeral for Jriv. Of course this battle is going to change things."

"That's not what I mean Thrasher. You think someone of great value's gonna bite the dust today? Like Krazat for example?"

Thrasher snickered. "Why should I care for some low level Lycan like him? You should already know we're gonna lose werewolf warriors Howndst; that's why the words cannon fodder was invented. Besides, I think you should be focusing more on your hatred for Wolfwing and his soldiers instead of worrying how many friends you'll lose today."

Howndst sighed heavily. "Yeah, you're right."

"This isn't gonna distract you while we're in combat is it? I can't have ANY werewolves who aren't fully ready for this battle you know."

"Don't worry about it Thrasher. I still know how to fight!"

"Good."

Howndst walked away chomping on another sloppy chunk of clear stinky meat.

"So what is that again?"

"…I don't really know."

"You don't know...and yet you're eating it. Howndst you realize that smells like my feet after I stepped in a patch of dead ogres right?"

"Here's the thing Thrasher. My brother used to pull really, really disgusting pranks on me. I'm talking about farting in the tent I was sleeping in, replacing my toothpaste with crud from the roof of the mouths of frogzards, dumping hair from an elfephant's butt into my shirt, and so on and so forth. But one day, my brother got real creative. He hired this fire dragon--Brihart was his name I think--to sit on me and fart until his colon dried up. In the process, I got stuck in his butthole."

Thrasher fell to the floor and started to laugh hysterically, unable to believe a Lycan as smart as Howndst ended up in that predicament.

"You know what, it gets worse. Not only did the inside of his buttcheeks reek, my brother gave this dragon a bunch of laxatives. I couldn't tell if the smell of his rectum was what got to me, or if it was getting pooped out by a fire dragon. All I know is that something that day stank so much I can't even tell the difference between odors and fragrances."

"Wow! So you actually like stinky smells now?"

"Why do you think I tolerate Harkst and his feet everyday?"


Across the lands of Lore, a large clan of Drakels were stomping their way along the grassy plains looking for more territory. Most of them were Drakel Warriors and Fire Drakel Warriors, but there were a few Drakel Captains and Destroyers stuffed into the group. All in all, the whole coalition was pretty resistant to any enemy they encountered. Everything was fine in the group, up until a grotesque trumpeting sound was heard and a mysteriously black cloud formed in between the group.

"Oh damnit, WHO FARTED?!!!?" yelled a drakel captain.

Everybody started groaning and holding their noses, appalled at the stench.

"…My bad." said a blue drakel destroyer.

"Nice goin' BP! You planted another rotten egg in the group!" scolded a drakel warrior.

"Hey, it's not my fault I pass gas when I get nervous!"

"That's just it BP! You only do it when we're about to engage in combat. And then right after you start fighting, you go all out on the enemy like you're a demon."

"Lay off the guy Briz. Unlike you, he doesn't shit himself silly when he faces a sand dragon." said another drakel captain.

Some of the other drakel warriors laughed at Briz and he began to turn red.

"I only did that once!"

"You did it eight times Briz; I'm actually keeping score."

"All right drakels, stop getting all antsy cause someone broke wind. It's completely natural and healthy. Now…there's an outpost full of weaponry near Dragonspine Mountain and our leaders would appreciate it if we got it for them."

"Isn't that place housing a shitload of Dracomancers and Vartai soldiers?" asked Briz.

"Just be glad Xerxes and Lord Cyrus aren't there, okay? It's very simple: We go in, kill the Dracomancers and Vartai, get the weapons, and get out. Sound good?"

All of the dragon/humanoid reptiles nodded their heads and took out their weapons, ready to attack the compound.


The moment had arrived. It was finally here. Thrasher and his platoon of Lycans were walking through the crevices of Razmik Canyon, ready to face off against the Irrovs and his army. It was around two in the afternoon, but as always, it seemed like nighttime in Darkovia. Nobody heard anything besides the sounds of their own feet kicking up the sand as they planted their soles on the ground. The canyon itself was over 70 feet tall on both sides and it was impossible to scale. The only way to hide from the enemy in this canyon was to dig a ditch and throw yourself in it or turn around and pray that an arrow doesn't go through the back of your skull, or find a cave built in the canyon. That wasn't the only bad thing about the canyon though; tens of thousands of souls had been lost in this one canyon alone. It got to the point where if a Lycan didn't step on sand, they'd inadvertently crush a skull or bone with their foot.

But it didn't matter. Everybody was thinking of various miscellaneous ideas; very few were focused on the battle. For instance, Thrasher was thinking of something more important than the battle.

(Damn…I forgot to ask Dad what to do with the bodies. God, this canyon's gonna be filled with gnats and flies! I'm so sick of flies buzzing around my ass!) he thought.

(Heh heh…it's gonna be so much fun shoving my bows in these werepyres' heads!) thought Twarzy.

(Hmm…maybe I should tell Daxxil to take a bath. Nah, he'll probably just stick a bar of soap in my mouth again.) thought Krazat.

(I'm hungry! Why did I have to give my last Moglin to Sytrus?!) whined Blargazn in his mind.

(I'll tell Howndst he was eating PteraZard droppings AFTER we get through this battle. The last thing I need to do is die early.) thought Sytrus.

(Maybe I should slit Sytrus' throat for fooling me into eating PteraZard crap. I swear, that tasted like meat!) thought Howndst.

And so on and so forth. Despite everything, they were pumped and ready for this battle.


On the other side of the canyon, twice as many werepyres were walking through the bone filled sand, thinking of the impending battle unlike the Lycans. Of course, hundreds of werepyres were also flapping their wings above the horde of werepyres, including Bjovak and Irrovs. Tugis, Byric, Quivilk and a few others were walking with the rest of the werepyres. Like always, Tugis wasn't able to control himself.

"PLAAAAY!! PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY! PLAY, PLAY, PLAY, PLAY!!!" he shouted while hopping up and down like a hyperactive bunyip.

It was actually kinda funny because the other werepyre standing next to him was watching him jump up and down. He was also very creeped out by Tugis. But then again, if you looked at a werepyre who abruptly twirled his head in your direction and said, "PLAAAAAAYYY…" with a demonic smile on his face and drool seeping between his teeth, you'd get creeped out too.

"So Byric, you gonna live up to your concept of 'fairness' once again?" asked a werepyre in a brown shirt named Achmeft.

"That's the thing about a full out battle like this: anything goes, fair or not. If battles like the one we're about to engage were 100% fair, then it wouldn't be a battle now would it? But that doesn't mean I'm gonna try to sneak up behind my enemy and cowardly snap his neck like you do."

"…Was that a compliment or a dis, cause I feel like you just dissed me man."

Byric chuckled. "Just keep walking. We'll be fine."

From that point on, there were only a few werepyres making light conversation amongst another, just like the Lycans were doing. It didn't take too long for both races to meet each other in the center of Razmik Canyon. Of course, every single werepyre and werewolf weren't at the intersection, but a good portion of both armies were there, excluding Byric and Fliowtoes. They decided to stay behind and act as the backup squadron in case they realized that their side was losing. So it was roughly around one or two thousand Lycans and werepyres standing there with bated breath, waiting for the other side to do something. This was the most climactic part of the battle…just when it's about to start and you got that gut feeling that you may get killed by your enemy.

Everything was quiet. Too quiet obviously. It was quiet enough to hear not only your own heart beat, but your friend's. A Lycan lifted up his toe and one of the werepyres was a few centimeters away from charging right for the werewolves. Thrasher could see Irrovs smiling and flapping his wings in the air, waiting for him to make his move. Thrasher smirked and took out his weapon.

"LYCANS!! ARM YOURSELVES!!!" alerted Thrasher.

All of the werewolves grunted and took out all of their weapons they brought along with them…if they even had weapons. Some of the werewolves were actually amazed at Thrasher's intimidating voice; they had no idea his voice could be that booming. Like father, like son, they guessed.

"WEREPYRES!!!"

All of the werepyres did the same thing as the Lycans did, holstering many weapons in their hands. All of them were growling in the pit of their throat, their fingers twitching like crazy. It was about to happen any second now.

"CHAAAAARRRGE!!!" bellowed Thrasher.

"GGGGOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Irrovs.

The platoon of wolves with wings and humanoid canines became to shout out battle cries at the top of their lungs and ran to each other, ready to attack.

The Battle of Razmik Canyon had started…