GRAB YOUR ATTENTION:

Now, this is a purely personal matter, and you don't have to answer this question, BUT- I was kind of wondering... if any of you have actually checked out any of my stories? And if so, how you found them? Just wondering, because I don't want to be a hypocrite and be writing a story making fun of 'Sues, when I'm writing them!

Newsies Taken Thus Far: Crutchy, Snoddy, Snitch, Skittery, Specs, Dutchy

I guess nobody got that Lord of the Rings reference... although it was in 'Sue-speak, so I forgive you. ;) The 'Sues on the cloud said, "Leave now and never come back" and that was taken from LOTR.

Those Who Won Points:

Christina Conlon- 22 points

Killer Bananas- 22 points

LucyOfNarnia-29 points

Sunshine Conlon: 10 points

Flyspecks- 10 points

Now... you will find out who the mysterious creature is! Dun-dun-dun-dun...

Continued from last chapter...

..."Mwahaha!" The creature cackled evilly, rubbing her hands together. Both 'Sues and OC's looked on in horror.

"Da-da-da, we're dead," remarked Acorn, surveying the person before them.

The creature was dressed in some kind of Greek garb, with an enormous sword in one hand. She descended between the 'Sues and the Noble Guild of Non-Sue Honorers and threw back her head and laughed a horrible, spine-chilling laugh.

"I AM THE DWEAD PIWATE WOBERTS!" cackled the girl. "Er, actually, I'm not. I'm not a guy, first of all. And Robert is a guys' name. Unless it isn't. I mean, maybe in a different language it is. But in the language I'm talking in right now, which happens to be English, it's a boy's name. My real name is Torch. Well, actually, not my real name, because that's just my nickname. But then, you guys all go by your nicknames, so I guess it's okay. I-"

"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect." murmured Fly.

"Just wait 'till I get going!" Torch cried proudly. "Now. I will go on to defenestrate all these 'Sues." Turning on them, she waved a pen and cried, "Back to the abyss from whence you came!"

"TEH NOOOOOOOO111111" shrieked the 'Sues in a way that was truly terrifying. They all disappeared.

"How-who-what-?" stammered Bumlets, who had suddenly appeared on the scene. Lark, a young newsgirl, stood beside him and patted his hand comfortingly.

"I," stated Torch proudly, "am the Authoress! Ha-HA!"

"Umm...?" said Giggles.

"That means," Torch explained, "that all of you are only saying what you're saying because I'm making you say it!"

"Can I get a program? Like, a script or something?" inquired Cheese.

"NO!" Thundered Torch, glaring at her.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," murmured Lark.

Torch pulled her "I-will-kill-you-if-you-don't-quit-being-so-smart-alecky" face. In other words, she gave Lark the Death Glare.

"Sorry," Lark muttered.

"So, anyway," Torch continued, "I wanted to say that I think that David should be allowed to join your club."

"What?" Giggles and Crutchy gasped.

"What?" Fly and Snoddy gasped.

"What?" Acorn and Snitch gasped.

"What?" Cheese and Snipeshooter gasped.

"What?" Lark and Bumlets gasped.

"What?" Dreamer and Specs gasped. "Wait, wait, how did we get here?" They demanded of Torch. Torch smirked. "I can do whatever I like with you. Guys, this is Dreamer and this is Specs, and they're here to join your club, too."

"We are?"

"Duh, yes. Now, why are you guys so shocked at putting David in your club?" Torch looked threatening. "He's MY favorite character!"

"Um... okay!" Giggles managed a smile, and a rather nice one at that. Everyone else attempted a smile as well.

"Yeah, David doesn't really get that many 'Sue-fics, even though he is a main character." Fly said thoughtfully.

Torch beamed. "Okay, well, here you go!"

David popped out of nowhere.

Everyone stared.

"Quick, give me a kiss," David whispered to Torch.

Torch started to protest, then though better of it, shrugged, and complied.

"They're still looking at us," she observed.

He shrugged. "It was worth a shot."


"I AM LEIK TOATLY GONA KIL AL OF U1111111" Screeched HORIBOL. "u r takin ovr my stry & leik makin me luk awful11"

"And... we needed to do that... why? I mean, don't you kind of already take care of that?" asked Lark. Everyone snickered.

HORIBOL glared and Torch sighed. "You guys'd better clear out." she said sadly. "You don't want to see what I'm about to do to her."

"Trust me, I would love it," said Acorn.

To be continued...