Did you ever notice (if you're an author) that you always start out a story, promising yourself that you won't do author's notes, but then realize that you do one every chapter? Raise your hands so that I'm not the only one. Anyway.... here is the new chapter, told from Jasper's POV since so many of you seemed to enjoy it and I just couldn't not let him have another chapter. There is some French in this chapter and I have provided the translations at the bottom. I'm sorry if they are not completely accurate, but I will put in what I typed in English and what the site translated into French for me. Sorry, best I could do.
As always, a huge massive thank-you to my beta, Catherine (dollybigmomma). I'm sure she wanted to murder me about this chapter. I sent her waaayyy to many emails about it, but she was a dear and replied to each one, regardless of the time. If you get a chance, I strongly recommend that you check out her fanfic because it's definitely worth a read!
So, onto the chapter. Have your tissues ready.
Saved
Chapter 12
I stood outside of the hotel for over an hour. My sharp eyesight took in every person that walked in and out the revolving doors. So far, twelve people had come out; three jumping into taxis and the other nine joining a tour that had stopped outside of the hotel. Going in, there had been a delivery man carrying a large arrangement of hydrangeas and lilies, a woman who had stepped out of a limo with a staff of five, and two families. Needing to calm myself, I had counted the number of windows that made up the front facade of the historic hotel; there were forty-five of them, nine on each story of the five story building. On the top floor there was a family of four with a little girl that kept pressing her face to the glass as she looked at the Eiffel tower, her face turning back into the room every few minutes with a look of sheer exhilaration. But, only one window held what I was looking for. On the second story, third window from the left was Bella.
It was an old stone mansion that had been converted, as many other historic buildings had been, probably built in the middle of the seventeen hundreds by the look of the hotel. The stone was a soft cream with gleaming gold gilding on the scroll work that graced the hotel. I hadn't been inside, but I was certain it was decorated in the epitome of taste. Probably a mix of antiques, spindly chairs, blue silk sofa's, heavily framed portraits as well as all the modern amenities like wi-fi, granite, and mood lighting. Rosalie had nothing but glowing reviews of the hotel when they had visited, so I was sure it was perfect.
I didn't know where Bella had stayed previously, but I knew Carlisle and Esme had urged her to change hotels when they came. If I knew Bella, I was sure she would have protested about the money. But on the other hand I knew Carlisle and Esme even better and knew they would have pressured, but not overly, until she caved. They had called it a graduation gift and Bella had given in, like she always seemed to do when it came to our family.
My eyes wandered again to her room. I knew it was nerves that kept me waiting out here, unable to strike up the courage to see her. The truth was, I knew this wouldn't last and I couldn't bring myself to think about her being with Edward. All I could see when my mind traveled down that road was an image of her in his arms, her silken hair wrapped around his fingers, her sweet scent covering him as his lips, his body, pressed to hers. It tortured me, but the image remained, growing each time I thought of it. Jealousy coursed through my veins every time I envisioned her in his arms, in his bed, in his thoughts.
I was resigned to this, though. If this one week was all I was going to get with her, I would take it and show her just how much I cared for her, show her how good I thought she was, how good we were together- even if it killed me to let her go.
"Are you going to stay out here all day or are you eventually going to say hello?" Her sweet voice sounded in my ear and I thought I had imagined it. It wouldn't have been the first time. I had been hearing her voice in my mind for the past three months and several times a day I could have sworn she was in the room with me. But this, this was so much better. My imagination could never have conjured up that breathy tone that almost brought me to my knees.
I turned around, surprised that she had been able to sneak up on me. I must have been too preoccupied to notice her approach. It wasn't often that anything, human or immortal, could do easily, but she had done it. She was my weakness, or as the French would say, Elle est ma faiblesse, je le reve d'est le sien.
She is my weakness, I dream of being hers.
I pushed the military side of my mind out of the way and just looked at her. She was innocently beautiful, like she had always been, but she was different as well. The long locks of brown hair I fantasized about were gone, replaced by a slightly shorter cut that allowed her hair to twist into fat curls that hung just at her shoulders. Her skin, while still pale had taken on a healthier glow. Not quite tan, but not pink, either. It was in the middle and it looked great on her. There was something else, though. Where she used to stand with her shoulders lowered, there was now a stronger line to her body, giving her a look of confidence that had always been absent.
Esme had been right. Paris had suited her and I hated that it hadn't been me that was able to suit her as well.
"Jasper?" she asked, trying to get my attention. Her breath caught in my nose and I was stunned again by the fragrance that was her.
My name, a slight whisper on her lips, pulled me out of my thoughts and I pulled her quickly into my arms, suddenly eager for her touch, to feel her curves pressed against me and determined to not waste anymore of the time I had with her.
There was not a single word, poem or song I had ever read or heard that could describe the feeling of holding her like this. Breathing in her delicious scent, hearing the racing beat of her heart as it pounded against my body, feeling the warmth of her skin as it seeped through my clothes, lifted all thoughts from my head, leaving me with just a feeling of absolute joy.
I pressed my lips to the tender skin at her temples, whispering her name over and over, as if saying it enough times would make her mine. That it would keep us rooted here for eternity, just the two of us.
She clutched onto me tighter as I accidentally released a feeling of bittersweet joy and I felt the heat of her tears she must have tried so hard to keep from falling on my light sweater.
"Bella." I stressed her name, lifting her eyes to mine, not wanting to see sadness or pain pooling in the rich depths of her soul. I only wanted to see delight and happiness. "We'll take this for us, only us. For our time here, no one else exists. Only you and me."
I rubbed my thumb over her trembling bottom lip before pressing my mouth to hers, unable to stand the acute torture of not tasting her any longer. I tried to keep the kiss chaste, but my urges consumed me and were fueled on by hers, like accelerant to a fire. I pulled her body closer to mine until there was no line separating us from each other and even that wasn't enough. I poured everything I had into the kiss, every feeling of joy, each ounce of passion, each moment over the past few months that I had longed for her. It was all there.
She broke off the kiss, breathing rapidly as her chest heaved from the rugged passion that had been between us. I watched her swollen lips twist up into a sad smile before she grabbed my hand, pulling me behind her into the hotel. I would gladly go anywhere as long as she was leading, even if it would lead me to torment. I would follow, always.
The ride in the elevator was quiet, except for the rushing sound of Bella's heart as we stood with our arms wrapped around each other. She led me into her room, and I shut the door quietly behind us, depositing my bag on the floor by her bed. When I had made flight arrangements, I didn't make a reservation for a room. For some reason, I knew I wouldn't need it and now it had been confirmed. Her brown eyes followed the progress of the bag until it touched the floor and she smiled, her face lighting up only to fall a moment later as her gaze returned to mine.
"Just you and me," I reminded her softly.
"I know. I just want to get it out in the open," she said, her emotions quickly turning to anxiety.
"I already know, Bella, and I accept it," I muttered, not wanting to believe it, but knowing I had no choice.
"How?" she asked, her eyes downcast.
"Alice."
I watched as she sank onto the plush chaise by the large window I had been watching her through. I walked over to her and pulled her into my lap, determination pouring out of my skin. I could accept this; I would accept this and have no regrets.
"I would rather have had this time with you than nothing else," I said, running my fingers through her thick curls, delighting in the way they seemed to burn my hands. I would gladly burn every day for eternity, just to have this every day.
"How did we get here?" she asked quietly after a moment, knowing that I knew she wasn't talking about our location.
"It built, slowly," I whispered as she laid her head on my shoulder. "You were the someone I've always imagined I would be with and I was there to help pick you up. It was inevitable."
I knew it was a lie. Over the past months I had come to the realization that these feelings hadn't just happened. They had been growing for a long time, starting on the trip to Phoenix when we were running from James. I hadn't realized at the time, but when I told her she was worth it, I meant it. I would have done anything for her even then.
Her eyes were sharp on mine. "You're lying."
"Yes, but let's not make this any more difficult on the both of us." I wanted to tell her I loved her, that I didn't want her to go to my brother, but it would only make this harder on her and I would do everything within my power to keep her from pain.
"Just you and me," she whispered again as she brought her hands to my hair.
We lay back on the chaise as I gave myself over to her gentle touches and relaxed for the first time in months, content to finally be with her.
~*~
The days had sped by too quickly. They were too short, not leaving me with enough time. That first day we had spent the remainder of the evening curled up on the chaise by the window, the lights of Paris illuminating the room. I had ordered some food for her which she ate while curled in my lap. We didn't talk, there were too many things that didn't need to be said, too many things that intruded on our time enough as it was. So we sat there in silence, completely content to just be with each other and ignore the outside world.
Our second day had been a repeat of the first, except our location had changed. I picked up a blanket, since the sun had disappeared for the day and took her to Jardin du Luxenmbourg. She had lain next to me on the blanket, flowers blooming around us, even in the middle of October with her small hand clasped in mine as we made small talk about Forks, my lingering human memories and her life before the Cullens, neither one of us committing to talk about our situation.
That night we had returned to the hotel after picking up a quick meal from the cafe down on the corner. I watched her pick at her food and was a bit concerned because it almost felt like she never ate and I never picked up feelings of hunger from her. I had felt lust, affection, love and trust, but not hunger for food.
"Do you ever eat?" I asked her, cocking my head to the side and taking in the changes to her body that hadn't been apparent since I was so preoccupied with just being with her.
It looked like she had lost more weight, if that was even possible because she was so tiny before. But I could see it. She had dropped a few more pounds since that last afternoon I saw her. Instantly, I felt guilty. This couldn't be good for her, all this extra stress.
I felt guilty and I was sure Edward would have remembered everything that needed taking care of when it came to her humanity. But the thoughts of jealousy were instantly squashed when I remembered that he had kept her alive and that was enough for me.
"I eat enough," she spoke softly, her eyes looking softly into mine. "Besides, I'm so happy you're here and I don't want to waste any of my time with silly human things like eating."
I could tell she was joking at that point, but made it a priority to ensure that she ate at regular intervals and smiled at me more often like she was doing now.
~*~
I left the bed on the morning of my last day here to sit on the chaise that was quickly becoming my favorite spot. I wanted to burn the image of her into my mind.
I had never understood Edward's obsession with watching her sleep, but I understood now. While her eyes were closed and her breathing even, she was stunning and I was transfixed. I couldn't have moved my eyes from her face even if they were removed from my body.
From my vantage point I could see the slight rise and fall of her chest as she slept peacefully. Her mouth was slightly open, like she was hiding a secret kiss in the corners of her lips. Her hair, which was temptation enough for any man, was spread around her on the pillows with loose strands kissing her dewy skin. Her cheeks were flushed a deep pink as she let out deep breathy sighs.
I would have given anything to see what she was dreaming of, but I knew, somehow, that she was dreaming of me. It didn't surprise me, if I could dream, I would dream of her every night.
I sighed and wished again that she was mine.
I forced myself to vacate my spot and jump in the shower. There were things I had planned for the day and I needed to get them done before she woke up. It was our last day and I was determined to either change her mind or make it impossible to forget me. I had never backed down from a challenge and I wasn't about to start now. She was too important to lose without a fight.
I dressed quickly and left the room and went downstairs to speak with the concierge.
"Monsieur, j'exige votre assistance dans prendre des dispositions pour ce soir." I spoke in the man's native tongue, hopeful that he would appreciate the effort and therefore put more effort into seeing my plans come to fruition.
"De couler, monsieur. Comment peux-je vous aider?" The man smiled with a lively twinkle in his eye. "I think English will do. How can I be of service to you?"
I liked the man instantly. "I would like to have the Eiffel tower closed this evening, only for my usage."
"I see." The man, Louis, looked thoughtful and his eyebrows creased together as he looked me over. "I cannot guarantee that I will be able to accomplish that on this short of notice, and it will not come cheap."
"Money is no problem. I will pay whatever it takes, just make it happen." My mind had already moved on to the rest of my plan.
"De couler, monsieur," he said, pulling out a small notepad.
"I would also like to arrange for lunch to be sent up to my room. Have an assortment of fruits, meats and salads. Foods that will tempt a woman with no appetite. Oh, and a tray of deserts." I knew Bella had a sweet tooth, even if she wouldn't admit to it. "I would also like dinner for two arranged on our balcony."
I handed the man my credit card and told him our room number.
"I will see to it, as well as the other arrangement we discussed. I'm sure we can come to an agreement, even if it's not exactly perfect," the man smiled. "Can I inquire as to the reason behind your plans?"
I couldn't describe to him the exact reasoning. How do you explain to someone that you would walk through the deepest fires of hell, that you would risk everything, including your family to have one person? Because that's what this was. I would sell my soul, trade my family for just the hope of an eternity with her.
He watched me intently, and after a moment of my silence, the man grinned.
"Ah, oui. A woman, the weighing factor of a man's soul. It is she who decides whether you burn or soar," he said fondly with a faraway look on his face.
I smiled and nodded at the man and left him my number so he could call me when all the details were worked out.
As I reached the door, I felt his hand touch my chest, right over my heart. I flinched at the contact immediately and he backed up in fear, only to dismiss it and press his hand closer and more firmly to my heart.
"Elle est une belle femme, mais meme je peux sentir la solitude qui exsude d'elle. Une femme toujours devrait savoir comme ca que son coeur appartient a quelqu'un et que le leur lui appartient dans le retour. Elle sait que vous tenez son coeur dans votre paume, elle juste ne se rend pas compte qu'elle tienne le votre. Je vous souhaite beaucoup de joies et d'ans d'amour," he said quickly and I could feel the sincerity of his words.
I nodded at him once more and stepped out onto the street, his words filling my mind- my heart.
As soon as I had picked up a large espresso and some pastries from a small stand, my phone rang. I juggled the bag and the coffee into one hand and fished the phone out of my pocket, checking the caller ID.
"Alice," I said casually. I had been waiting for her call and wasn't surprised that she waited until today.
"He'll be calling you in an hour with the go ahead on all your plans," she stated softly.
I knew this was taking a lot out of her to do this, to watch out for me- and Bella. I couldn't feel her emotions through the phone, but I could tell it was taking a supreme effort to do this.
"I appreciate this, all of this," I whispered softly to her.
"I know, that's why I'm doing it." She was quiet for a minute before she spoke again, "I just want you to be happy and I've done enough to make that impossible for you."
"Nothing is impossible, Alice, you know that. The future is subjective, it isn't set in stone," I replied. If I said it enough, there was always the hope that it would change.
"I hope that in your case I'm wrong. I've sent a package for Bella that should arrive early this afternoon," she said, a bit of the person I used to know showing through.
"What is it?" I asked, instantly on guard.
"A little something that's a start of my apologies." I could detect a hint of excitement in her voice and grinned. You could never know what to expect with Alice. "I have a long way to go, but I'm confident that one day she'll forgive me."
"She will," I assured her. "Bella wouldn't hold out forgiveness on someone who deserves it, and you deserve it."
"Thanks, Jasper." I thought she was going to end the call, but she spoke up again. "Oh, and don't worry about tonight. You won't hurt her."
With that, the line was dead and I knew what she was speaking of.
I made it back to the hotel minutes later and opened the door to our room. The suite was filled with steam and the smell of it overwhelmed me. I had to clamp down on my blood lust. The smell of her heated blood, mixed with the rich scents that floated out of the bathroom was almost too much. I forced myself to not breath, to not give in to the monster that lurked within me.
"Jasper?" Her soft voice called out through the door to me, to the monster within.
My body crouched against my mind's wishes and tensed, ready to pounce.
The door opened slightly as she stepped out, a white towel clutched to her soaking body. Her heated scent hit me again with such force and I pounced.
I had her pushed against the wall before she could even speak, my lips devouring hers. I wound her arms around my neck as the towel fell from her body to the floor, her sinful flesh finally pressed completely to mine. She hadn't been completely dry and the water that was left on her skin soaked into my clothes, infusing her scent with mine.
I heard her repeat my name in heavy whispers as my cold lips assaulted the tender, burning flesh of her neck. She didn't push me away, only pulled me closer and slid her hands to the hem of my sweater. She struggled with my height, not quite able to slide it over my shoulders so I took control. I ripped the sweater off my body and threw it to the corner of the room, knocking a lamp over on its journey.
Without anything barring our flesh from each other, I let out a deep growl, knowing she was mine, finally.
My hands roamed across the sunken planes of her stomach, feeling every muscle beneath her skin, the layer of baby fine hair that coated all humans skin, everything. I trailed my fingers over her ribs and down the length of her thigh, raising it to hook around my waist, her scorching core pressed to my stomach.
I heard a strangled cry escape her throat and I pushed myself back until my body came in contact with the wall, my breath struggling to catch up, even though I didn't need it.
Her eyes were large and startled and her lips swollen and bright pink. She was the sexiest, most alluring creature I had ever seen and she didn't even know it. That fact made me desire her even more.
I could only imagine what I looked like to her now, probably like some kind of animal. She was lucky I was able to hold back. Even looking at her now and feeling her desire was enough to send me over the edge again. I had never wanted someone as much as I wanted her, and I wanted all of her. I wanted to brand my mark on her heart, her body and her blood. I wanted everyone to know that she belonged to me as much as I belonged to her.
I walked over to the window and slid it open, allowing some of the Bella scented steam to clear the room and my head. I drank in the fresh air like a suffocating man, pushing the monster back with every breath. When I had control over myself, I turned to her.
She had sunk to the ground, her back pressed against the wall and her towel covering her body. I wouldn't have been surprised if she looked terrified, but she didn't. She looked feral and for a moment I thought that she might attack me back. To my disappointment, she didn't.
I walked over to her cautiously, my hands flat out in front of me and knelt before her. I willed a strong wave of calm to wash over the both of us so she would believe I wasn't going to hurt her.
"Don't you dare apologize," the challenge flashing in her bewitching eyes.
"I won't and never will," I replied and meant every word of it.
"I'm glad because I won't apologize either."
She smiled back at me, flashing her tiny teeth and placing her hand in mine to help her up. Thankfully the towel stayed in place this time.
When she was seated on the bed with the dropped bag of baked goods and espresso, I sat back and realized I would need to hunt and immediately. Alice's words came back to my mind and I knew tonight was the night.
"I have to leave," I said softly.
Her eyes grew round as her emotions flew between panic, anguish, and inferiority. I was stunned momentarily until I realized why. She believed that I was leaving, as in not coming back. My mind raged as I knew she was comparing me to Edward.
"I'm not him, Bella!" I shouted at her, the jealousy I had been feeling releasing itself with my words and she visibly flinched. "I wouldn't be parted from you unless you asked and I know you're going to."
Now that the floodgates had been opened I was unable to stop the unleashing of the fury and power of my words. "I would give anything to stay with you forever, Bella, but you won't give me the chance."
"Jasper, please," she pleaded, but I held up my hand to stop her.
"Do you know what kind of hell I've lived in the past few days, knowing that after this I'll have to watch an eternity of you, with him? I'll watch it every day and wish it was me. Every moment you touch him, I'm going to be thinking of this, of that moment we just shared over there. Every time you say his name, I'll hear your voice saying mine."
"It isn't going to be that way," she said softly, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.
I walked over to her and rested my palm along the curve of her face.
"It will, and I accept this, Bella. If this, him, is what will make you happy, then I'll gladly suffer every day for the rest of time." I looked down at her small fingers stroking mine, my voice softening. "I have to go hunt, for your safety. I can't risk hurting you."
I felt her guilt mix with my own as I walked to the door. "I ordered lunch for you. It should be up in a few hours. Please try and relax. I'll be back by five." She smiled at me weakly as I walked out the door.
I silently prayed, wishing it would be the last time.
French Translations:
Elle est ma faiblesse, je le reve d'est le sien
She is my weakness, I dream of being hers.
Monsieur, j'exige votre assistance dans prendre des dispositions pour ce soir.
Sir, I require your assistance in planning. (I don't remember what else it said, but along the lines of I require your assistance in planning an evening)
De couler monsieur. Comment peux-je vous aider?
Of course, sir. How can I help you?
Elle est une belle femme, mais meme je peux sentir la solitude qui exsude d'elle. Une femme toujours devrait savoir comme ca que son coeur appartient a quelqu'un et que le leur lui appartient dans le retour. Elle sait que vous tenez son coeur dans votre paume, elle juste ne se rend pas compte qu'elle tienne le votre. Je vous souhaite beaucoup de joies et d'ans d'amour.
She is a beautiful woman, but even I can feel the loneliness that exudes from her. A woman like that should always know that her heart belongs to someone and that theirs belongs to her in return. She knows you hold her heart in your palm, she just doesn't realize that she holds yours. I wish you many joys and years of love.
