5 - Watching, Waiting and Crying the Blues

... Part 2: Pandimensional Surfboards are Stupid

W/C: 3769
Warnings/content: continued first person POV, 9th Doctor DWXTW crossover, probably swearing, probably sexual innuendo, probably OOC for everybody
Summary: Ianto takes a quick trip in the TARDIS and spends some quality time with the Doctor, Rose and mortal-Jack
Characters: Ianto, mortal-Jack, immortal-Jack, 9th Doctor, Rose, TARDIS, the Torchwood team
Ianto's New Timeline: September 8, 2005


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Beep – Beep – Beep

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I looked down towards the quiet beeping sound and I realized it was coming from Jack's fancy surfboard. I could see a little red light flashing on the underside. I bent down and turned it over so I could get a better look.

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"Ah … Jack? Is this thing supposed to be beeping and blinking?"

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"What thing? What? That? It's beeping? Oh, no! no! no! … that's not good." I was crouched down over the beeping and blinking surfboard and he quickly scooted over next to me. He took it and turned it over in his hands to examine the dials. "This is not supposed to be doing that …" he said with apprehension threaded through his voice.

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"Can you hear that?"

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"What? What's beeping now?"

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"No, it's not beeping I hear … it's like thunder. Can't you feel it? Like an earthqu-a– oh shit. Something's wrong with the rift! Dammit! Why'd the Doctor have to go and have a date tonight? I told him …" I just muttered away to myself, pacing and pulling at my hair like a crazy old man.

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Jack ran to the monitor and checked the readings. They verified my prediction. The rift was opening right above us. It was the stupid beepy blinky surfboard after all! I knew that thing was no good!

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"It's the extrapolator! It's locked onto the TARDIS's power source and its ripping the rift wide open!" He was frantically running around the console lurching back and forth spinning dials and flipping switches but to no avail. The thunder and quaking just kept getting stronger.

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"Shut it off!"

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"I can't!"

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"Disconnect it!"

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"I did!"

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"What?"

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"It's disconnected!"

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"What the fuck!"

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"No idea!"

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We stood there, eyes locked across the console, sweating, panting, hearts pounding and all the while there was a little itch in the back of my brain. It just hovered and poked annoyingly persistent. Like a memory only less familiar – like someone whispering in my ear – only more annoying than that.

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Then I got an idea. "We need a containment unit!

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"Great idea!"

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"Well?"

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"I dunno! I've no idea where the Doctor'd keep a containment unit!"

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"The rift is going to rip this city apart! We need one now Jack!"

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Then I heard it again only this time it was much clearer.

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*sonic screwdriver*

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*Torchwood*

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"What the HELL was that?" I thought maybe he'd heard it too.

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"WHAT NOW?" He hadn't. He looked frantically around the room.

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"Nothing" I muttered. I was finally losing my mind. But this was a bad time to loose one's mind so tentatively I said, "I keep hearing whispering in my head. It's driving me nuts." I felt like a crazy person.

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"Whispering? Whispering. Hmmm. Like what?" he pondered. "Oh hell, Ianto is this really the time?" He was getting fed up and I couldn't blame him.

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"What's a sonic screwdriver?"

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He frowned but held his left hand up for me to see. He was holding a little silver gadget in it. "Like this?"

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"I don't know? It just told me to use it… OH! I know! I KNOW how to use it! I know where I can find a containment unit too! Give it to me!" I lurched towards him and held out my hand.

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"What are you going do with it?"

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"I'll bring it back I promise!"

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"NO WAY! The Doctor will KILL me if I give you his sonic and let you run off with it!"

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"I promise," I begged. I stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder and I looked into his eyes. "We don't have time. I think the ship is talking to me. It told me what to do. You have to shut it off and I have to get this thing away from it. I know how to get into Torchwood – it's just below us. I'm going to take the stupid surfboard-"

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"Extrapolator!"

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"Whatever! I'll take it down into the Torchwood vault. It'll block the signal and then you can close the rift. I'll come right back. I swear it Jack."

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"I don't know…"

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"We don't have time for this. Look, is it possible for the ship to be talking to me? Have I totally dropped my basket?"

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"It's possible. It's telepathic. But why you?"

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"I have NO idea. We have to hurry. Give it to me."

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"Fine ... here ... take it ... be careful ... and please come back."

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"I will!" I yelled over my shoulder as I ran out of the TARDIS with the Doctor's sonic screwdriver in one hand and that cursed blinky beepy surfboard in the other.

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My mind was reeling. The ship was talking to me. What the hell was wrong with me?

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How many times do I have to say it?

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I'm a shit magnet!

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I had a couple of choices. I could try the Tourist Office or the lift. The lift would be much faster, more direct as long as the screwdriver worked like the TARDIS said it would.

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I ran towards the stone I'd been so familiar with in my past life. I'd stood on this very spot and used this lift so many times but always it was Jack's wrist strap or someone inside who'd activated it.

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So I cleared my mind of everything except the thought *activate the invisible lift* and I pressed the button. The buzzing sound it emitted was comforting and the little blue light soothing. The stone jerked once and then began its decent into the depths of the Torchwood hub.

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It was dark and strangely quiet. It was missing something … then I realized … I couldn't hear Myfanwy's dulcet screeches in the background.

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Above me though, I could still hear the rumbling, ripping sounds of the aggravated rift and feel the trembling, jerking spasms as the Earth above me cracked and tore apart.

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I silently prayed that the hub would be empty, that I could just contain this stupid pandimensional surfboard and get the hell out of there.

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The lights were low, lower than normal and I couldn't see any movement on the ground floor or in Jack's office. As soon as the lift collided with the floor I jumped off it and sprinted for the containment unit built into the far wall. It didn't need a code but it was a bitch to open. But I'd long since mastered its little complexities. I slid the outer latch to the right and gave it a wack with my fist. And like magic it popped open.

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One down and one to go.

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As I slid the drawer out towards me I started praying again that the inner lock-box wasn't locked … but it was.

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Shit!

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I still had the beeping flashing surfboard in one hand and the sonic screwdriver in the other. It had worked on the lift but on a padlock? How could I know? Even if it could unlock a padlock I had no idea how to do it.

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*just think it*

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There is was again! The ship! In my damn head! It was disconcerting to say the least.

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But I did as I was told. I thought *unlock*

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I pushed the button and thought my brains out.

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Click

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"Alright! Two for two! TARDIS you rock!" I was so happy the damn thing worked I almost did a dance of joy – almost.

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I slipped the now thoroughly-hated-cursed-blinky-beepy pandimensional surfboard into the alien lock-box and slammed it shut. I slid the drawer back into the shelf and heaved an incredibly loud sigh of relief. I put my hands on the wall and just hung my head a moment trying to catch my breath.

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Gradually, the rumbling above started to quiet and the shaking started to subside.

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It was time to get back to the TARDIS. The Doctor would be so mad at Jack if I lost his sonic screwdriver.

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But then the quiet hub seemed a bit less quiet all of a sudden … and I heard shuffling and then a click. I knew that click. Damn that click could mean only one thing.

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"Turn around. Slowly. Hands in air. Where I can see them." His voice was low and menacing. I knew that voice too.

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Shit. This was not a good thing.

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The Doctor was gonna be so pissed.

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I held up my hands as directed and turned to face him. "I was gonna leave a note …" I said cheekily.

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Oops. I'd miscalculated. I turned and was greeted by not one but a total of five rather large guns pointed right at my head.

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I smiled. I beamed. I almost started crying.

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I looked at her, all serious, trying to look tough.

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What a sight. What an angel.

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"Tosh, you're so beautiful!" I gasped and my chest constricted. I was utterly shocked to see my beloved dead Tosh standing before me. It had been so long. Her first death would not be in vain if I had anything to say about it!

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Jack looked questioningly at her? She had no idea who I was. She shrugged. That just pissed him off more.

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I probably shouldn't have said anything - especially not her damn name. Oooh well, it was too late to do anything about it after the fact.

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"Who the hell are you? And what the hell are you doing in here?" he demanded.

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"Better question Jack … how the hell did he know how to open that stupid thing? I can't even open it half the time…" He muttered as only Owen could. Of course Owen would have two guns. Who the hell points two guns at someone? I'll bet he'd watched too many crap action movies lately.

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Jack seemed to think about it a minute and nodded. Then he frowned. He took a step forward and stared at my hand.

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I held the screwdriver out for him so he could see it more clearly.

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I nodded. "It is what you think it is. I need to give it back to him. That thing I put in the lock-box was ripping the rift open so I had to get it away from the TARDIS." I was so nervous my voice was jerky and a little too high pitched. I felt like I was regressing in age back before puberty. "You should probably not open it for a while." I shrugged, my hands still high in the air above my head, and smiled a little mischievously.

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Jack stood there, shock clearly splattered all over him, for nearly a full minute. Then he lowered his gun and holstered it. He told the others, "put 'em away. He's okay." Tosh and Owen lowered their guns and hesitantly wandered off to their respective work stations.

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Suzie stood her ground and demanded, "who the hell is he Jack!"

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"I said he's alright. Now, back to work Suzie." He looked at her pointedly.

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She looked at him stubbornly refusing to lower her eyes but eventually went back to her workstation. They kept an eye on me though while I spoke to Jack.

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"Can I put my hands down now? My arms are getting really tired?" I whined.

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"Ya. Of course." He ran a hand through his hair and then looked up. "He's up there?"

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"Yes."

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"You travel with him?"

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"No."

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"What's with the one word answers? You were rambling a few minutes ago?"

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"I was panicking." I chuckled and was rewarded with a gleaming smile.

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"Can I see that?"

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"Sure. But I …" I hesitated and clutched the sonic to my chest. "… have to give it back … soon … I promised." I bit my lip. I was worried that he would confiscate it or something.

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He nodded. I placed the sonic screwdriver in his open hand. He inspected it closely and pushed the button.

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"This is his" he confirmed, his voice strangely quiet.

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"Ya. It is."

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"Had to check." He shrugged and then passed it back to me. I had to admit that I was breathing much easier when it was safely in my pocket.

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"So how do ya know Tosh? She doesn't know you." He looked at me expectantly.

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I flinched and shook my head. I whispered "I can't say. I'm sorry I shouldn't have called her by name. I was … just surprised."

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"I see. Is it a timey-wimey thing?"

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I nodded emphatically and stole a final glance at Tosh and Owen.

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"Okay." He shrugged, nodded and just accepted my ridiculous excuse. "How'd you get into the hub exactly? Do I need to upgrade my security?"

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I shook my head. "No. I came down the lift." I tossed my head in its direction.

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He frowned. "How did ya know it was there? It's invisible."

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"Yes, it is invisible. You're right. It is definitely invisible. Would you believe the Doctor told me about it?"

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"I might." He didn't look very convinced though. I was doing a piss poor job of this. My stealth had gone down the drain in a matter of seconds.

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"Your security is fine. We needed your containment unit. I'm sorry I didn't have time to ask permission. We were in a bit of a hurry."

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"He's always in a hurry" he countered. He huffed out a breath and then motioned towards the lift. I went first and he followed. "Well, we'd better get you back up there. He'll be wanting his sonic back." He stepped onto the lift and waited patiently for me the climb aboard.

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My mouth hung open unattractively no doubt and I sputtered. "You can't … you really shouldn't … I should go alone." I winced. He could be so contrary. There was no way in hell he'd stay down here now.

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He tilted his head and looked at me, puzzled. He frowned and pursed his lips. Finally, he shook his head and apologized. "Sorry. Can't do that. Now you've piqued my curiosity."

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"Damn." I knew it. I got on the lift and pouted a little. Couldn't help it. "He's gonna be mad at me you know? Please, just don't go into the TARDIS okay?"

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"Ohhh. Am I in there?" He was grinning and obviously excited. "I've never seen myself before …"

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"Oh God, please! He'll KILL me! You can't! He'll never forgive me!" I begged. I actually clasped my hands and begged. I was seriously begging.

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"Okay … okay. I won't go in. But could you at least ask him to come out?" He pleaded.

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"I'll ask but Jack … I don't think he will. Things are really confusing right now." I shook my head.

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He considered what I said and he agreed. "You're probably right. But I really have to talk to him. Would you please try?"

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"Of course. I'll try. Hell, I'll beg, I'll … guilt trip … whatever I can think of."

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He smiled widely. "Thanks. Hey! How come ya know my name … oh never mind. Stupid question. You've already met me … other me is in the TARDIS right? But why don't I remember you? That's weird. Isn't it?"

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"Oh. Shit. I have no idea. We'd have to … ahhh … ask the Doctor." My headache was steadily growing out of control so I grabbed my temples and tried to stop them from pounding too far away from my scalp. "I am in soooo much shit." I started to fret. I was going to be scolded, throttled and perhaps tossed out on my ear.

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The lift came to a jerky stop as the stone slid back into place on the Plas. I was extremely relieved to see that the TARDIS was still there. I turned to Jack, quickly put my palms on his chest and held him in place. It was an intimate gesture but I hadn't noticed it at the time. Jack did and he brought his own hands up to cover mine.

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"You have to stay here, on the stone, alright? I'll go get him. Here. Take the screwdriver. I'll tell him you want to give it back to him." He grinned and squeezed my hand. He looked like he wanted to kiss me. I definitely wanted to kiss him so I did. Just a light peck on the lips but it was like heaven after all this time. His eyes sparkled and I knew the next time we met things would be very interesting.

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I strode over towards the TARDIS and knocked on the door. The other Jack opened it and motioned for me to come in. He stood at the threshold a moment and scanned the Plas. He must have sensed someone or something but I was sure he couldn't see future Jack.

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"Ianto! You saved the day! Now where's my screwdriver? Hmm?"

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"That's what I wanted to talk to you about…"

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"YOU DIDN'T!" Jack shouted and looked between me and the Doctor with absolute remorse.

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I held up my hands to forestall the sputtering panic that was sure to follow. "It's alright. I didn't lose it. It's fine. Don't worry. Just a little snag is all." I turned to the Doctor. "There's someone who needs to talk to you. He has your sonic thingy and I promised that I would ask you … beg you if necessary … to come outside and talk to him."

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"Ianto … I don't …"

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"It was the only way to stop him from barging in here. He promised that he would stay on the perception filter if you came out and got your screwdriver yourself. It's a fair trade."

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"Oh … alright. But you're coming with me!" He was pissed. Just like I thought he would be. In fact, he looked like he might take me by the ear and drag me around a bit.

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"No problem."

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"You and I … serious talk … young man!"

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"I know … I know, Doctor. Believe me, I know."

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We stepped out of the TARDIS and the moment the Doctor looked towards the invisible lift his whole body tensed. He closed the TARDIS firmly behind us and ran his hands across her lovely blue door frame.

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"She's been talking to you. Hmm? She likes you. But this Ianto? Things are complicated enough without adding more Jacks to the current situation don't you think?"

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"Of course. But the rift? I couldn't think of anything else! And the TARDIS ... well it just kept whispering to me. It – she told me how to use the sonic screwdriver and what to do with the surfboard thing. I just did what came to mind. I did what was familiar. I know Torchwood. I honestly didn't expect Jack to be there. But I should've known. I know that now. I'm sorry I've made things more difficult for you – it wasn't my intention at all, Sir." I was really worried that he'd never forgive me. I felt terrible.

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"There, there, don't fret. I'm not really angry. I know how the TARDIS likes to meddle sometimes. She's quite stubborn you know. Gives me a run for my money." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gave me half a hug. He led us towards the veiled stone where Jack stood waiting for us as promised.

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We walked towards him arm in arm. I could feel the tension growing in the Doctor's body with each step. As soon as we got close Jack stepped off the lift and came nose to nose with the Doctor. The tension that had been growing in the Doctor seemed ready to erupt. Very subtly I tried to disengage myself from the Doctor's embrace but he just gripped me more tightly. The Doctor looked at Jack curiously but the dark accusing glare that Jack directed at the Doctor made him flinch. I was shocked. I thought this would be a joyful reunion. After all that I'd seen between the Jack in the TARDIS and the Doctor I wouldn't have expected anything else.

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"What happened Doctor?" His voice was strained and angry and hurt.

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"I ... I don't know. I'm sorry Jack. What ever happened to you hasn't happened yet … not in my timeline."

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"But you feel it? You can tell something's not right … that I'm different?"

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"Yes" he nodded and with a great deal of effort he met Jack's eyes again. "Your timeline is very painful for me."

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"For you! What about me? You just have to look at me! I have to live with this! I was dead. Then I wasn't. But you left me. You abandoned me. For over a hundred years I've been waiting to ask you – just to talk to you – why did you leave me?" The fuel seemed to have burned out of his anger and all that was left was disappointment and sadness. "Can't you just fix me Doc?" He pleaded; his voice quiet and weak.

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"Oh Jack. I'm sooo sorry. I don't even know what happened. I have no idea how to fix you."

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"How can you not know? You know everything?"

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"No. I don't. I really don't." He was trembling now. I think I was the only thing holding him up. I think Jack saw that too. I think he took pity on the Doctor and that's why he stopped yelling. He leaned forwards, tucked his head between us, wrapped his arms around us and pulled us against him desperately.

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The Doctor returned his embrace and I was trapped in the middle. I felt like an intruder, watching such an intimate moment. I had no idea they were like this. I thought they were lovers but what I felt between them was friendship and compassion not lust and passion. For so many years, I'd envied this man – well not really a man – and then suddenly I didn't.

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We stood like that for a long while. It was a comfort that was long overdue. Then when the Doctor finally spoke he was sombre. "You know I'd love to invite you along Jack but you're already in there." He grinned at the ridiculousness of the situation – we all did.

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"That's alright Doc. I've got a good team. They need me. But maybe I'll take a rain-check ya?"

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"Definitely. The next time I'm in town I'll drop by."

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He was still holding us in either arm. He titled his head a little nearer to my ear and whispered "I never did catch your name?"

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"Ianto. Ianto Jones." I whispered back. I decided it was a good time as any to thoroughly screw with the universe so I said "mind if I call you about a job in a few months sir? I've got some good references." My laughter spread to Jack and then to the Doctor. We eased our way out of the group hug and stood there a moment longer.

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"Soooo. Jack?"

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"Yes, Doctor?"

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"About my sonic screwdriver?"

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To be continued … Chapter 5, Part 3: Parting Gifts

A/N: Thank you soooooo much for the awesome reviews! You guys make my frackin day.