I do not own any of the characters from Fairly OddParents or Jimmy Neutron.

A/N: Rated M, but probably not necessary this time around . . . well, maybe a tad.

Fix Me . . . Please! Chapter 12: A FairlyNewFriend

Poor Timmy's Predicament

Timmy began walking back to the school, his mind buzzing with thoughts of how close he came to achieving a childhood fantasy. There he was, alone and naked with Trixie Tang. How much closer could he get. He had her in his arms, kissed her, and tasted her most private parts. At least he didn't have intercourse with her. He promised himself Lia would be the next girl he would have sex with, but Trixie was sooo tempting, and he wondered if refraining from sex alone would excuse him from being labeled a cheating sonuvabitch.

Absent-mindedly, he stepped into the street, and a car honked its horn at him. The driver rolled down the window.

"Need a ride . . . twerp?" It was Vicky. A familiar face, and one that Turner was happy to see. Timmy nodded, and climbed into the passenger side.

"I need a favor, if you would!"

"I dunno. It depends what it is." she smiled smugly, "I may have to take it out in services rendered." Timmy laughed, knowing exactly what she meant.

"Could you take me home, then drop me back off at the high school?"

"That'll definitely cost you. What's going on there?"

"We have a pep rally and bonfire for the big game tomorrow."

"Why do you have to go home? The school's the other way."

"Um . . . I'm commando right now." Vicky broke into a big grin.

"Prove it!" she laughed, then reached over to make a grab for his crotch. Timmy screamed like a little girl.

"Stop it! Keep your eyes on the road . . . and both hands on the wheel!"

"Ha ha ha! How did that happen?"

"It's a long sordid story. Suffice to say I shot my load in my shorts and had to dump 'em." Vicky snickered.

"Hey, don't forget, I still need to collect a sample from you!"

"If you're still looking for the aphrodisiac pheromone, forget it. It's not there anymore."

"Drat. I was afraid that would happen. All I have left is the initial vials of synthesized pheromones. They seem to be evaporating in the vials, and I'm afraid to open them because they might be twice as strong now, but won't last very long." Timmy thought for a second.

"There was a girl I met that night you saw me in the playground across the street. She said she was an android. She was collecting DNA samples from me that day that all the insanity started."

"Is that the same 'robot-girl' you were blathering about?"

"Yeah, that one. She was collecting it for a friend of mine who lives in another dimension. I have no idea what became of her. She probably went back as soon as she got her sample." Vicky sighed.

"Boy, do you have some weird friends!"

Timmy's parents were out at some pencil-pushers convention in town, so no one was home when they pulled into the driveway.

Timmy got out. "Wanna come in? Grab a drink? I shouldn't be too long."

"Take your time. I'm in no hurry."

Vicky had a fondness for the house. This is where she first met him while babysitting, and where they both lost their virginity. As she watched his tight, compact buns run up the stairway, she thought about how much he had changed since that first time. He was a scrawny shrimp of a kid, short, buck-toothed, with a tousled brown mop of hair hidden under a pink baseball cap. What a sight. No wonder the other kids picked on him.There was one thing about him, however, that intrigued her, though she had never mentioned it to anyone. His eyes. She loved those sky-blue eyes of his. They made her weak in the knees . . . and horny.

She snuck up the stairs to his room, shedding articles of clothing along the way. She hung her bag on the post at the bottom of the stairs. Her jacket she simply dropped on the steps as she kicked off her shoes. The sweater and blouse she placed on the handrail.

Timmy had his back to her as she entered his room. He had no shirt on and was threading a belt through the loops in his jeans. The red-head wrapped her arms around him, feeling his chest as she pressed her warm, naked body into his back. He immediately stopped what he was doing.

"Uh . . . Vicky?" She began to nuzzle and kiss his shoulders.

"What time do you have to be back at school, hon?"

"Six-thirty?" he gasped.

"One hour. That's plenty enough time." Then she shove him onto the bed.

Poor Timmy.

Iron Ass and Twink

With her keen sense of hearing, Betty quickly homed in on the location of the voice. There was the faint fluttering of wings, and she brought all her senses to bear on that one spot.

"Well, 'Poof', why can't I see you?"

"I'll show myself to you only if you promise not to say a word to Timmy and his friends."

"Why not?" she voiced her skepticism.

"Just promise me, okay?" He sounded sincere enough, though, so she relented.

"Alright, I promise."

From out of the air popped a head. The android raised an eyebrow.

"Is that all there is to you? A floating head?"

"No, silly! I didn't want to scare you or anything. Just hold on for a second, I'm almost there!"

Betty looked on curiously as the rest of the young boy slowly materialized out of the thin air.

"Tah dah! What do you think?"

"You appear to be a normal human child of about ten or twelve years of age, somewhat androgynous looking . . . you have purple hair as well as purple eyes, which must count as unusual . . . but maybe not, from what I've seen lately. Plus you seem to be floating in mid-air. Are you a hologram?" She reached out and felt his arm. "You're solid enough. What are you, exactly?"

"I'm a fairy!" The android gave him a blank stare.

"I wasn't asking about your personal life." Poof just sighed, and gave her an equally blank stare back.

"I'm trying to tell you, I'm a magical fairy!"

"Oh. A supernatural fairy. I didn't realize such creatures existed. Maybe you should make yourself disappear again, Poof. People are bound to have heard that explosion."

"Don't worry, I put a barrier around it, so we were the only ones to hear it."

"What did you do with the rest of those firecrackers?"

"I'm going to turn them into one big fireworks display for tonight's bonfire!" He motioned for her to come sit down next to him, patting the spot on the log where he sat. "I can show myself to you because you're not a human, but I can't show myself to anyone else. We fairies have a lot of rules to abide by, and revealing ourselves to adult humans is strictly forbidden. I'm underage, so most of the rules don't quite apply to me yet."

"Do you have parents?" With a wave of his wand, pictures of Wanda and Cosmo appear, floating in the air.

"These are my mom and dad, Wanda and Cosmo. They used to be Timmy's fairy godparents until he grew too old, and had to give them up. By our book of rules, he doesn't remember any of us."

"You don't look like any of them, and except for the purple hair, you kinda look like Timmy!"

"It was Timmy's unselfish wish that brought me into being. As a result, I'll grow to have some of his human features as well as fairy powers. There are a number of other fairies like myself, who were wished into existence by their human godchildren. My Uncle Jorgen and his wife, the Tooth Fairy, are just a couple of them. If not for Timmy, I probably wouldn't be here. I'm kinda fond of Timmy for that reason, and I still follow him around now and again, but my own parents are no longer allowed to do that anymore. Besides, they have their hands full with another godchild!" Betty smiled at the little guy.

"I've only met him once, so I can't make a fair judgement of him, but everyone seems to like him, and by human standards he's very cute. I have met several girls who know him, including one who is his girlfriend."

"Do you like him, too?" The android sighed.

"I've been given the ability to determine what constitutes good and/or bad behavior, but only to a certain degree. Human emotions are not part of my programming, and I'm afraid the very best I can do is to mimic people's reactions. I just don't have either enough memory, or computing speed to tackle human emotion. I couldn't tell you for a fact whether I like him or not."

"But I can tell you're sad right now, and sadness is an emotion also, so you must have that ability, if anything."

"Well, that's what I mean. Am I really feeling anything at all? Or is this just some complicated algorithm running through my computer brain?"

"Sounds like you have a 'Pinocchio Complex.' Do you wish to be a real human being?" Betty laughed.

"No way! People have very fragile bodies. I like this body of mine. It doesn't deteriorate, it's self-healing, incredibly strong, and very sexy looking! Oohh yeahh!" Poof blushed as Betty-bot ran her hands over her curves.

"Ahem. I can see that, but . . . but what, then ,are your main concerns?"

"It's not knowing if what I feel or think is similar to that of a real person. I . . . I don't want to be human . . .!"

" You just want to know what it's like to be one. I can understand that. What you probably don't understand is how human your thinking really is."

"You're very perceptive for one so young, aren't you?"

"We fairies mature quickly, faster than humans of the same age. But by fairy rules, I'm still considered a minor, and so I won't be assigned to a human child until I reach at least two hundred years of age.

"Wow, you guys must be really long-lived!"

"Yeah, so in the meantime, I'm allowed to roam around to observe people and practice my magic skills."

"But I'm not a human. Why on Earth are you following me?" It was a simple enough question, but one for which Poof had no immediate answer.

"W-well, as I told you before, I'm rather fond of Timmy, and I've been hanging around him lately. I've watched him get into one mess after another, but because he always has good intentions, he usually manages to solve them on his own. I was with him that night you two first met in the park!"

A twinkle in his eye amused the robot, and a broad smile soon crept across her face.

"Were you watching us while I was collecting DNA samples from him, hmmm?" Poof's face lit up like a stop light, and beads of sweat popped up on his forehead. He swallowed hard, and stuttered nervously.

"Y-y-yes?" Betty giggled trying to allay his fears.

"Tell me, Poof, do fairies go through puberty?"

"P-puberty? Wh-whats that?" Betty clasped her hands together, and squeezed them between her thighs. Clearly she found it funny that she, an android, would be trying to explain the "birds and bees" to a young boy, human or otherwise.

"Don't your parents explain these things to you?"

"What things are you talking about?" (Clueless.)

"Do you have any idea of what Timmy and I were doing that night?" She was doing all she could to keep from busting out laughing.

"Uh . . . um . . . you mean, besides playing horsey?"

Betty fell over backwards laughing. "Omigawd! You are such a delight, aren't you? C'mon, you turned red as a beet back there! Surely you must know something!" He turned around, puffed up his cheeks and crossed his arms.

"Hmph! Uncle Jorgen also laughed when I brought it up to him. You old people never give us kids a straight answer!"

"'Old people'? Hey, I may look like a teenager to you, but I'm less than two years old! You're the old one here!" She snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Imagine that! A cherry fairy! I think I'm gonna eat you up!" Poof struggled to get out of her grasp.

"D-don't you dare!" he cried frantically, "My parents would be all upset!"

"It's just a figure of speech, you twink!" she said as she hung onto him gleefully.

"I . . . I am not a twink!" Betty released him, and he quickly put some distance between them. She put her head down on the log they had been sitting on, and smiled, raising her hand to bid him return.

"Aww, don't be mad! I'm just teasing. Somehow I find you so irresistable . . . like a teddy bear!" She sat up, realizing something strange was happening. "Did you . . . do something to me? I don't recall ever calling someone 'irresistable' before."

"Y-you mentioned you needed more memory and computational speed, so I just tripled what you had. I . . . I can't make you fall in love with me, or anything, if that's what you're asking, . . . it simply can't be done!"

"I feel . . . funny." Betty sat down with a thud, and closed her eyes. "Running . . . diagnostic . . . program."

Something had definitely changed in her way of thinking. She was being flirtatious, sarcastic, and somewhat attracted to this young fairy boy. Definitely not a part of her original programming, nor any which she had written up herself. Plus her batteries were being drained. Tripling her processing speed drained them by a like amount. She would need to switch out her batteries with a fresh set.

Poof returned back, and hovered in her face. He was very much concerned since Betty had suddenly gone silent after he had increased her efficiency.

"Betty? Are you okay?" He tapped a finger on her forehead, and her eyes opened once more.

"I'm alright. I needed to readjust some of my settings. Whatever you did to increase my processing speed caused my system to draw more current than usual. My batteries are running low, and I need to change them out."

Without another word or warning, the android stripped off her shirt and bra. Poof was caught off guard, staring momentarily at her breasts just before his eyes popped out of his head.

"Holy . . .!" He covered his mouth and nose with both hands as a blast of blood spewed out of both nostrils. Betty was equally surprised at his reaction, and watched as the young fairy spun around and slowly keeled over. She caught him just before he hit the ground, and laid him down on a nearby patch of grass before returning to changing batteries. Now she understood why he decided to follow her around instead of Timmy. He was totally crushing on her.

It was definitely something new for Betty-bot, and she puzzled over why it was that she even cared or found it amusing. She replaced the batteries, then her top and shirt before attending to Poof. He was starting to come around as she cradled him in her arms. Poof was quite light, being a fairy and all, and Betty was capable of lifting a car if she had to, but she could also be very delicate when it was deemed necessary. She brushed the hair from off his forehead, examining his features a little closer, and with a bit of scientific curiosity, trying to discern the source of his magical abilities.

Poof's eyelids slowly lifted, then sprang open as he realized Betty's face was mere inches from his own. Once more his cheeks began to glow red.

"Hey, squirt, how you feeling?" she smiled.

"Don't call me squirt! And . . . and I'm just fine, so you can put me down already!" Betty tossed him back into the air, crossed her arms, and put on an air of indignation.

"Hmph! Well excuse me for caring!" She stuck her tongue out at him, then stood up to leave. She wasn't mad at all, but she wondered why she was behaving this way. It was actually kind of fun. Poof flew after her.

"Wait!" he called out, "I . . . I'm sorry. Thanks for catching me." She tilted her head at him, smiling broadly.

"You're welcome! And thanks for the 'memories' . . . twink!"

"Oooooh! I am not a twink! . . . 'Iron Ass'! You are sooo irritating!" She jiggled her butt at him, smiling smugly.

"I may be a robot, but my ass is not made of iron. It's really smooth and soft. You can feel it if you like!" she teased. He began to blush once more. "Will I see you again?" she asked.

"Y-yeah, I'll be around." He waved goodbye, then vanished.

"What a cutie pie." She smiled, then rushed off back to the pep rally.

End Chapter 12

A/N: I made Poof to be older than what he should be, which, judging by Timmy's age, should be about five or six. Otherwise he wouldn't fit into the plans I have for him, bwa ha ha ha!

Just a short few pages from what I considered a cut off Chapter 11. I was still working on this as the time to post was approaching. I hadn't worked out some details yet (had to do some research) so I decided to leave it out and post it later in the month. Since my little Christmas story was done already and since there was no way I was going to hang on to it until next Christmas, I submitted it along with Chapt. 11 instead. I had originally planned to insert it into my profile so I could delete it later. Hope you didn't mind.