Prussia/Canada, up next will be France/Canada. I'm working on Romano/America.

Also, you guys should check out Hetalia: The Dark Descent by karatekid369. And Confessional Ambush by Stripes93. They're both really funny. (You should totes review, too.)


The nice boyfriend takes you out to dinner and pays for it.

My idiot boyfriend asks me to make pancakes, and eats through almost all of my ingredients.


The nice boyfriend doesn't come in without knocking.

My idiot boyfriend gets drunk at my house with my idiot brother and some axe maniac, or my perverted father and his ditzy friend with a tomato obsession.


The nice boyfriend sets up romantic "alone time".

My idiot boyfriend takes me out drinking with his friends, tried to have sex with me in a broom closet, and asked if I wanted to have a threesome with his "unawesome piano-fucker friend".


The nice boyfriend helps you shovel your lawn.

My idiot boyfriend pushed me into a snowdrift. He then decided that it would be a great idea to have sex outside. In the middle of the winter.


The nice boyfriend doesn't make fun of you.

My idiot boyfriend thinks that it's hilarious that my polar bear – Kumakiri? Kumakiko? – doesn't remember who I am. Oh, and he tried to get my polar bear and his bird to get it on.


The nice boyfriend respects your ethics.

My idiot boyfriend pestered me about having an orgy with his idiot friends – my brother being one of them. He was kicked to the couch.


The nice boyfriend takes the couch punishment like a man.

My idiot boyfriend whined about how cold it was, pretended to be my polar bear, and finally just jumped me.


The nice boyfriend cuddles with you after a long day.

My idiot boyfriend was drunk out of his mind and passed out on the floor.


The nice boyfriend is nice to your friends.

My idiot boyfriend started a fight with my friends over "Kaliningrad", got himself beat up, and then pointed at my friend and said it was his fault.


The nice boyfriend takes you to meet his family.

My idiot boyfriend didn't even tell me that he had a brother. The only way I met him was when he stole some of his brother's kinky sex toys and his brother came over to our house.


The nice boyfriend doesn't let you get too drunk.

My idiot boyfriend bribed my brother into telling him that I have a weakness for vodka, bought something like ten bottles of vodka, and got his friend to videotape what happened. And then he posted the video on the internet.

… I didn't know that I was that … bendy …


The nice boyfriend helps you out.

My idiot boyfriend seems to think that "The guy that the awesome me fucks at regular intervals, lives with, and gets cooked for" is a good name that people will remember, and therefore he tells people that it is my name.


The nice boyfriend backs you up in a fight.

My idiot boyfriend was laughing his stupid butt off when I was fighting my brother.


The nice boyfriend takes care of you when you're sick.

My idiot boyfriend gave me beer instead of soup, hogged the blankets when we were sleeping, and said that sex was the ultimate cure for everything.


The nice boyfriend gives you a nickname.

My idiot boyfriend calls me "birdie". He calls my polar bear "birdie". He calls his bird "birdie". He calls the can of beer in his hand "birdie".


The nice boyfriend proposes romantically.

My idiot boyfriend started talking about threesomes, men in dresses, and how my friend was not ever getting within ten miles of the wedding, and then gave me the ring and asked.

Wait, threesomes? Oh, shit.