A/N: So hey updating. Life kind of got in the way of writing, which kind of happens a lot. Ah well. Read and enjoy. (Also, note: Pestering doesn't make me update faster. It doesn't detract, but it does make me kind of like annoyed.)
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Proverb.
So what does that make everybody else?
His hands drifted over my bare breasts, my back arching so that I could press myself against him, only thin fabric melting off of his body, burning off of his body, everything fading except my heat, his heat, and his hands. My lips curved up, and we broke apart, gasping. His eyes grinned at me, and his mouth opened, to say the three little words I needed to hear.
My alarm buzzed next to me and I woke up with a start, crying and cursing. I curled up on my side, cradling my stomach, wailing.
I didn't even know who he was.
"I can't," I gasped, another set of sobs strangling me. "I can't---do this."
Rosalie knew not to come in by now, but these weren't my normal nightmares anymore. They were wonderful dreams---so wonderful that waking up was practically suicide. After another eternity, a bout of morning sickness, and a shaky relapse, I was stable again.
Rose swooped in when she heard me settle, her hair tied back, acting as if she'd heard nothing. I'd learned to read her tightly controlled face by now, though, and she held her mouth sealed so that she couldn't let anything slip out. I winced. Today's episode had been worse than I thought I'd been. She'd actually started wearing jeans, and pajama pants at night. It was stunning. She'd gone from runway model to nurse in about a week flat.
"Your ultrasound is at three, and," she said, raising her eyebrows, "Your phone keeps buzzing. I think it's Finn."
"Yeah," I said, wrinkling my nose. My head swam a little. We'd been texting a bunch. "He's driving up for the ultrasound."
"Are you totally sure he's not like...into you that way? I really don't want you to get hurt."
I smirked at her.
"Okay. Let me put it this way. Have you ever shared Jake's brain?"
She shuddered at the thought.
"Yeah. This is exactly the same as how Bella was with him."
"Ah. The least healthy relationship ever, part two. So this is a good idea why, exactly?" She frowned at me.
"It's not. But I've got a vampire to scare him away for me. And I've at least got plenty of distractions from falling for him. And he's nice, but he's...no imprint." My voice felt like it was bleeding. I wanted an imprint so badly that I couldn't even articulate it. I just wanted everything to be set right. Like that magic genetic crap that Carlisle theorized about in his spare, sleepless hours.
I let that soak in for a moment as I brushed past her into the shower.
My little apartment was small, but clean. We'd tornado'd through it with bleach and a vacuum, washing and drying everything, cleaning the cabinets and buying food. Lots of chocolate chips. Enough cookie dough to feed an army. And several pounds of apples.
She and Alice had worked out a schedule where they alternated or semi-alternated nights and days. A few days a week, we would go over to the Cullen house, basically because I insisted on not being annoying and keeping them from their general routines. My mom stayed over once a week. I tried to make myself useful, going over to Seth's house during the day to help Natalie, now down to days rather than weeks, with housework as we talked over names and due dates and trimesters and cravings. She'd been going through two or three packages of Oreos a week. I'd eaten an average of twelve green apples a day for the past month. It was actually kind of a godsend that the Cullens were rich; I wouldn't have been able to pay for groceries without their help. And sure, I felt like I wasn't pulling my weight, but whenever I tried to do something useful, I was shooed away.
Rosalie's phone played half a second of music before she flipped it open.
"Yes, Alice?" I started washing my dishes. "Oh my!" I turned around, dropping my plate with a loud clang into the sink.
"Nat went into labor," she said. I left everything in the sink, barely remembering to shut off the water. Rosalie was flying around, throwing things into a bag. I picked up my purse and her keys.
It took about fifteen minutes to get to the hospital. Rosalie and I burst in. The receptionist recognized Rose and smiled.
"Looking for your father?"
"No, Natalie Clearwater. She's in the maternity ward, but what room?"
The woman tapped frustratingly slow on her computer for a few seconds.
"Room 120 in the---"
We were halfway down the hall by the time she finished, slowing ourselves only at the door. We straightened ourselves self consciously, put on smiles, and walked into the room. It was small and crammed with werewolves, my brother nearest, holding Nat's hand with a look of frantic happiness on his face. Natalie was sweaty and tired looking, but her eyes were locked in Seth's. My throat choked up with tears.
This was me, in six or seven months, minus Seth.
I turned to Rosalie, but she was gone, watching through the glass of the door. She smiled apologetically at me.
"Didn't want to risk anything," she said, eyes downcast.
Right. Blood.
I put on an encouraging face again, swallowing my tears. I went to Seth's side, stroking their arms gently. Mom and Nat's mom were clustered on the other side, fussing over her and messing with pillows and looking at the screens, old hat at this. Nat and I were brand new. I knew she was going to be there for me when my baby was born.
"You're going to be great," I whispered, beaming at her. Seth threw an arm around my shoulders as Natalie turned her teary eyes to me in a smile.
Five hours later, Connor Edward Clearwater was born. My little nephew.
In the chaos, in the wild werewolf celebration that ensued, I slipped out to find Rose. She wasn't in sight, but I closed my eyes and sniffed, letting her icy trail lead me down two floors to a lonely seat in the cafeteria's lounge area. She was glaring at the coffee machine, refusing to breathe and let anyone know she was crying.
"Rosie," I said to her. She didn't turn. I walked up and put my arm on her shoulder. "It's a boy, Rose."
She raised her wide, tormented eyes to me, rage reflecting through the amber.
"I don't care," she choked out. "It's a boy. I'd love to have a boy. I'd DIE for what you two are getting. I'm not sure if you understand. It's the one thing that can never be possible for me! I'd love to have a tiny little boy to be mine, mine and Emmett's, the most important thing that's ever happened to us, but it's impossible."
The same for me with imprinting, I wanted to say. But this wasn't the time, and she knew that. I curled around her.
"Hey Rosalie," I said softly. "Once my baby's born...after maybe a year..." She turned and glared towards me. "Do you want me to be your surrogate?"
She literally froze in surprise.
"It'd kill you," she said uncertainly. "And we can't make you into a vampire." But her desire burned under the words.
"I'm still a werewolf. I'm stronger than Bella. And it'd be like take two for Carlisle. He'd know what's happening." I meant everything I said. It was the only thing I could do for her. Her face was slowly glowing with hope, but then turned sullen and embarrassed.
"Um...I'm not quite sure how...vampire...semen...would react with your body chemistry."
I couldn't help it, I started laughing.
"Okay," I chuckled, "We'll ask Carlisle to run some tests, 'kay? I'm not all that into dying anymore anyway."
"Leah, this is huge. Let's think about it for a while." But her eyes were wide with gratitude.
"Yeah. One baby at a time."
She smiled.
"And guess what?" I said, smiling. "I figured something out."
"What?" she whispered.
"I know we missed my ultrasound this morning, but...the baby's going to be a girl."
"How do you know?" she said, raising her eyebrows.
"Because she and Connor are going to be best friends. And I just know. So you've got your namesake, love."
She buried her face into my shoulder and sobbed tearlessly.
I closed my eyes. I was finally pulling my weight.
My phone buzzed. Finn.
"Hey, Finn, what's up?"
"Not much. Why'd your ultrasound get cancelled?" I'd texted him a warning not to come.
"My brother's wife went into labor. I'm an aunt!"
"Oh wow cool! How many babies are there in your life now?"
"I think this is the fourth?" Susie, Ellie, my baby, and now Connor. "And he's the only boy in the bunch."
"Except for maybe yours."
"Nah," I said, smiling and twirling a hand on my stomach. "She's gonna be a girl. I can tell."
"Well I hope you're not wrong, whatever you say."
"Me too. Uh, can you come up tomorrow? Rose never really got to meet you."
"She's the blonde one, right?"
Rosalie glared at the phone. She was always 'the blonde one'.
"It's not a bad thing," I said, covering the mouthpiece with my hand. "Yeah," I said, back to Finn. "But she's really important to me. Like she's my best girl friend. So be nice."
"Yeah, no problem."
"See ya." I hung up. I was acutely aware of Rosalie's flickering emotions.
"Um...I really really don't want to shoot a gift horse in the mouth..."
"Especially a pregnant one, and I think the phrase is 'look'," I added.
"But his tone of voice concerns me," she continued, ignoring me.
I squinted warily, trying to remember anything threatening in his voice. "Concerning how?"
"Concerning in its protectiveness. And a little bit of affectionate attachment."
I mulled that over for a moment.
"I think once he sees me freaking out over my ultrasound tomorrow it'll bring it back to reality for him. I mean, what twenty whatever guy wants a kid?"
"That's well reasoned," Rose finally said, smirking at me and linking arms.
"I'd hope so," I sighed, "I've had too much time to think about this crap."
"That's true," she said softly.
The dream repeated itself when I fell asleep that night.
