AN: So this chapter has been written in my head since the beginning of the story. It's kind of one of those turning point chapters that I know will be in there. You guys will never know how happy your kind reviews make me so keep it up! I do not have a beta so please overlook any typos, I will probably eventually find them and fix them because I somewhat obsessive like that ;)

I am not Stephenie - but I like playing with Jasper


JPOV

The memorial service had chewed Bella up and spit her out. She was struggling against the heavy burden of grief as I led her to the back of the chapel where we would say thank you to the people in attendance for their show of support and love. I could tell she was on autopilot, but at least she was still conscience and not semi-comatose like she had been in the clearing. I had begun to pour every positive emotion I could manufacture to her in hopes of keeping her from completely shutting down. Everyone passed offering their condolences and support. I honestly wasn't paying much attention because my focus was on Bella. Charlie came up to us and looked questioningly at me and the way I had Bella pulled into my side. I had no idea what to say to him concerning Bella's distress or our obvious dependence upon each other. Carlisle took the matter into his own hands and to my great relief handled the situation as only he could.

"Bella will be fine, Charlie. She is just dealing with her grief internally right now. She and Jasper have grown very close recently." He was sincere and his tone immediately put Charlie at ease. "They are both missing the ones they love and have been a great comfort and support for each other. I am glad they have each other to turn to in such troubling times."

Thankfully Charlie felt an immediate sense of relief. He truly loved Bella and really only wanted her to be alright. I think he was afraid she would slip back into the dark abyss she occupied when Edward had left her before. But I knew deep down that this Bella was not the same girl we had left behind, this Bella was much stronger and determined even though she was struggling at the moment.

"Thank you, Jasper." Charlie mumbled quietly to me projecting honest gratitude to me even though he didn't even realize it. "Bells, I love you. I want to spend some time with you but I have patrol duty tonight. Please call me when you can come over for a visit or I can come to you whatever you want. Just let me know." Charlie kissed her cheek softly, hesitated for a moment and then turned and left.

Charlie had been the last to leave and I needed to see if I could get Bella to focus on me so we could leave. I gently placed my hands on either side of her soft face and looked her deep into her beautiful eyes.

"Bella, it is time to go, everyone has gone. Are you alright, sweetheart?" I kept my voice as soft and gentle as possible.

Awareness flooded her and her rapid reply startled me. I however had no idea what she was talking about. "I know where Edward needs to be."

Bella noticed my confusion and explained her thought. "He needs to rest in the meadow." Once again Bella had surprised me with how she had handled her grief. I smiled gently at the beautiful girl before me and nodded my head in agreement.

Bella and I rode with Carlisle and Esme in the back of his Mercedes. Rose and Emmett had left just before us and were in the car just ahead of us. After we had pulled away from the small chapel, I brought up Bella's request for Edward's ashes even though I knew they had heard every word with their more than perfect hearing. Esme was currently cradling the gray marble urn on her lap and she turned to face us.

"Bella, that is the perfect resting place for Edward." While tears were running down Esme's face her feelings reflected joy too. "He loved the meadow and to him it represented his love for you so I can't think of a more peaceful place for him to spend eternity."

I could hear Rose and Emmett agreeing in the jeep just in front of us. Carlisle looked at us in the rearview mirror.

"We can change as soon as we get home and take him today. Bella, you can't hear them but Emmett and Rose agree too." Carlisle smiled kindly at his newest daughter.

"Thank you all." Bella sighed quietly and rested her head on my hard shoulder as we sped toward home and the final chapter of Edward's memorial service.

…………

After we had all arrived home, we all went to change into more appropriate clothing for running through the forest. We all reconvened at the wide steps in front of our home. Esme still cradled Edward's ashes in her arms lovingly. Carlisle stood beside her, his head close to hers whispering quiet words of comfort as we prepared for the short journey. Rose was leaning back against Emmett who had his arms wrapped around her waist, resting his forehead against her shoulder. I stood slightly to the side, leaning on one of the large pillars at the top of the stairs as we waited for Bella to join us. The sun was beginning to peek timidly through the clouds and the rain had stopped, it was still a bit chilly by human standards but I was thankful Bella would not be rained upon as we made our way to the meadow.

When Bella walked out of the front door, I noticed she had changed into dark jeans and a hoodie for her trip through the forest. She had washed her face and seemed more ready to face this final leg.

"Bella, who would you feel most comfortable with carrying you?" Carlisle wanted her to be as much at ease as possible.

"Jasper." She looked almost timidly at me. "I want Jasper to carry me, please."

"Of course, darlin'" I drawled out. Bella warmed my cold heart with the trust she placed in me.

I walked to the bottom of the stairs and waited for her to join me, a touch of nerves colored her descent down the stone stairs to me. I gave her a small smile of reassurance and then turned my back so she could climb on from the bottom step. I figured she wouldn't want any more help than absolutely necessary. Bella hesitated and I sensed indecision from her, I turned back to see what she was thinking.

"Jasper, will you take me to the camp site clearing first?" She asked quietly, pleading with her eyes.

Her request threw me completely off guard. "Why, sweetheart?"

"I just need to go there. I can't really explain it but I really need to go there." I couldn't believe the strength this girl possessed and I knew I would never be able to deny the request.

"Bella, if that is what you need then I would be honored to be there with you." I touched her cheek briefly before I turned back around so she could jump on my back.

"We'll wait for you two in the meadow." Carlisle came forward and touched Bella's arm encouragingly.

Bella wrapped her warm arms around my neck and jumped quickly onto my back as I placed my hands under thighs giving her extra help to stay safe on our journey. The sheer amount of warmth that enveloped my body was wonderful and I could almost imagine feeling warm myself. While I had been physically close to Bella lately and had even carried her before, the feel of her body wrapped around mine was a new experience and I couldn't help but feel joy at her touch.

Esme and Carlisle ran in front with Rose and Emmett close behind. I trailed slightly behind trying not jostle my precious cargo too much. Bella had her face pressed into my neck, trying to avoid the wind I'm sure. Her warm breath fanned across my skin and I relished the feel of it. I veered in the direction of the camping site while the others continued on the path to the meadow.

When we had reached the clearing, Bella loosened her grip from around my neck and slid slowly down my back until her feet were firmly on the ground. She hesitated behind me, her face pressed into the space between my shoulder blades and her hands rested lightly on the top of my shoulders. I could feel her gathering up courage, courage to face her demons and her heartbeat was strong but erratic and she was gulping in large quantities of air. I stood perfectly still, not even breathing, letting her have the time she needed and I tried to help her by feeding her the courage she was seeking. She sighed quietly and inhaled deeply before pulling away from my back. Bella came around me and hesitated at my side while taking in the former camp site. The rocky outcrop where I found her standing was just to our left and the small clearing opened up where the tent had rest just below the rocky peak. There in the grassy area were two distinct black burned areas that were already starting to fade as nature was reclaiming the camp site.

The closest black circle was where Seth and I had sent Victoria and Riley to the afterlife. It was definitely not the one we were here to pay homage to, no that area lay much closer to the tree line. As an unfortunate aspect of vampire memory, I could see the purple plumes of fire as clearly as the day it had all transpired and flames took my brother from me. Bella was cycling through various emotions at my side so quickly that I almost couldn't keep up with her. She began to walk steadily to the spot where Edward had fallen; her steps appeared cumbersome and heavy, betraying the inner turmoil that was apparent even if I hadn't been an empath.

I followed her slowly but I didn't want to intrude on this part of her grieving process. Bella needed to gain some closure and now I knew this is probably where she would find it. When she reached the edge of the darkened area, she began to audibly sob and she fell forward hard on her knees. Bella's body was shaking under the enormous grief that was truly overwhelming her.

I quickened my pace to reach her side, to help her with the enormity of it all. When I reached her side, Bella gasped and pulled her arms tightly around her stomach gripping her sides as if trying to hold herself together as she bent forward from the waist. Her knees still crumpled under her, her forehead was now resting on the ground in front of her as she cried out against the unfairness of losing Edward. I reached forward, intent on offering her some peace and hope but she suddenly shot upright, her arm outstretched toward me.

"No…Jasper…" She was struggling with the words between sobs and her emotions were dangerously out of control. "I…need…I…have to feel…it. I have to say…goodbye." I backed up a couple steps at her whispered words but I had to block her emotions, they were nearly bringing me to my knees.

Bella returned to her previous position with her face pressed into the earth seeking release from her pain. She remained like this for quite some time, sobbing quietly. Suddenly, it seemed as if something had snapped inside of Bella and she became panicked and horrified. I was trying to decipher the horror and I couldn't grasp what had caused this emotion. My protective instinct kicked in and I was instantly beside her in a protective stance. Bella suddenly sat back up and started wailing again shaking her head from side to side, this was a sound she had made when she had collapsed before and I fell to my knees in front of her, grasping her hands with mine. I couldn't lose her to darkness and I needed her to focus on me. She was still shaking her head from side to side and the horror was reaching epic levels.

"Bella, sweetheart, please calm yourself. What? What is causing you to feel this?" I wanted to help her but I didn't want to cross the boundary she had placed between us.

Bella began to stutter the words out. "It's my…it's all my fault. Oh my God, Jasper it's all my fault." The pain was rolling off of her in waves I began to lose my focus.

I placed my hands on either side of her face. "Bella, I have to calm you. Your emotions are overwhelming me, and I can't block them anymore. You are not making any sense."

Her brown eyes were wide and pleading and she nodded her head between my hands. I opened my gift up to her and let her feel peace. Bella's heart rate began to level out and her breathing though still ragged was deeper and not as shallow. I left my hands on her face and nodded for her to continue.

"Oh, Jasper, I hadn't thought of this since…since Edward died. It was all my fault. I tricked him into staying with me. I told him I had been insane once before and I didn't want him to make me that way again." Tears were streaming quickly down her face, betraying the grief below the surface that I was battling to control for her. "If I hadn't…if I hadn't made him stay with me. He would have…oh God…he would have been in the clearing with you! He would have been safe and alive! I knew I was being selfish but I didn't care, I told him anyway! It was the same as lying to him..."

It was then I remembered the visit Edward had paid me before the fight where he had asked how strategically necessary it was for him to fight with us. Edward knew she had had a really hard time when we had left before to keep her safe. He explained that Bella was so afraid he would be injured during the fight that she had told him that she would lose him again, she would go crazy again. I told him we could handle the newborns without him, that it would be alright for him to stay with her. Edward felt extremely guilty about all she had endured in his absence and I could understand why she had teetered on the brink of sanity when he had left, her love for him was astounding. I shook my head at her and wiped the tears on cheeks away with my thumbs. Then I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me.

"Shh, sweetheart. It is okay. You had absolutely no way of knowing what would happen." I had to reason with her. "None of us did."

Sadness still dominated her so I pulled back from her so I could look her in the eyes. I tried another tactic. "Maybe if I would have listened more closely to you, I would have realized that Victoria would come for you. Maybe if Alice had tried harder she could have seen it. Or maybe she could have seen Victoria and Riley in time for me to save Edward. It was mine and Alice's fault, not yours."

Bella's eyes grew wide with horror at my suggestions. I knew she would never place the blame on either of us so I let her digest what I had just said.

"God, no Jasper! You weren't at fault. It was…" Recognition flashed across her beautiful face. "It was just a horrible accident."

She hung her head slightly and I pulled her back to my chest. "Yes, darlin'. The only one to blame is Victoria, there is no reason for you to feel guilty and I want you to promise me that you will place the blame where it belongs and not on yourself. Let it go, Bella."

She began to wail against my chest as great sobs tore through her. I held her close and pulled my gift back so she could feel the pain in order to release it. I let her cry until she was spent and I felt the change in her emotions. I held her close to me for a long time after she had finished, hopeful that the worst was finally over. Acceptance and relief overshadowed the sadness and grief and I knew she had reached the point she sought in coming to this place of death. Bella took a deep breath and pulled back from me.

"Jasper, it's your turn now." Bella's eyes were red and swollen and focused on me. "Tell me about Alice. I know whatever it is, it is painful for you and this is the perfect place to leave your pain."

"Bella, I don't want to overwhelm you." I was practically mumbling.

"No, I can handle it. Please tell me, I am strong enough to be there for you too." She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and she was projecting feeling of inadequacy. Oh hell no, I would never ever make this girl feel inadequate. That I would fix in this very moment. I had felt like the Cullen's weakest link up until I had to care for Bella so I knew exactly how she felt.

"It's hard. I have tried not to think about it, I have tried to stay focused on you so I wouldn't have to feel anything but you're right. It is time you know what happened when the Volturi finally showed up in the clearing." I struggled to swallow down my pain.

Bella placed her warm hand gingerly on my cheek and I leaned my face into her touch. With her other hand, she threaded her fingers through mine and gripped hand as tightly as she could. Bella began to offer me feelings of love and hope as she silently encouraged and supported me.

I began the story from the moment we arrived in the clearing. I quickly moved though the parts about the arrival of Jane and the two members of the guard. I told Bella about Bree and how Carlisle had spared her life only to have Jane take it away. When I got to the part of how Jane noticed Edward's absence and how Carlisle had told her about his death, Bella sucked in a sharp breath but didn't falter in her resolve to hear the rest of the story.

"Alice realized suddenly that Jane had made a decision that would forever change our lives." I was fighting against the pain that was welling up and threatening to destroy me. I had fought against remembering Alice as much as possible, so I could be strong for Bella but I had to face this here and now. Bella dropped her hand to my neck and began to rub gently along my jaw line, comforting me with her touch.

"Jane decided that since Aro had already lost out on having Edward and his mind reading ability in the guard, he would want Alice now. He wouldn't want to chance something happening to her. Alice tried to see all of the possible outcomes based on different decisions but the conclusion was always the same. If I had left with her, you would have died. If she refused to go, the Volturi would kill us all." I paused drawing in deep breaths, struggling even though I didn't need the air. "Alice left with them, to protect us all."

"Jasper…" Bella was shaking her head sadly, tears spilled over the bottom lids of her eyes. "I am so sorry. Did she say anything else before she left? Did she see anything in the future?"

I nodded sadly. "Alice said my destiny was here, that you and I would save each other. She said we would see each other again one day. Alice said that you would wake up the next day and that when the time came; I was to follow my heart. The last thing she said to me was that I needed to tell you that you dream in darkness but you have to live in the light. Bella, I miss her so much."

I began to sob and it was Bella's turn to pull me into her arms. I gratefully accepted all of the comfort and love she pushed to me. She was right; we would leave our pain here and move toward the light.


AN: I meant to get them to the meadow but I just couldn't rush this and it was getting a little long so up next the meadow and then...well, we shall see!

Songs for the chapter Broken by Lifehouse and Call Me by Shinedown, they are on my profile if you want to hear them.