Chapter 12

The entirety of the dance the stars revealed through the painting was dizzy-fying, enough to make me feel green to my stomach. Even though I very much wanted to pull my gaze away from the pirate ship, from the night skies of that world, my eyes wouldn't allow me. I felt as if hypnotized to the spot, my feet not moving. The only thing I seemed to be allowed to do was breathe.

Once the dance was finished, the grip that had stilled me through the entire message released me, and I fell backwards into the floor. I was shaking so bad I couldn't breathe properly. I had to get home!

But not with Derek, oh please not with him!

I looked around, remembering that I was in a library, and so there must be a telephone in here somewhere. I forced my legs to work and hold me up as I made my way toward the large cedar table. On the left side of the desk was the telephone. I picked up the receiver and worked the numbers. I got an answer on the fifth ring.

"Hullo?"

"Ed! Oh thank goodness," I quaked.

"Su? Are you alright?" Edmund's voice sounded quick and worried. "Where are you?"

I gasped for breath. If I were in his place I wouldn't have asked those concerned questions. The memory of the way I had spoken to them earlier was painfully burned into my forethoughts. Lu was right: I am horrid!

"Su?" repeated Ed.

"I'm still at the Aldo Manor. Ed," I whispered, remembering to keep my voice low, "come and get me, please? I…I don't feel very well. And I don't want to go home with Derek."

"Did he do something to you?" I could already imagine Ed's face twist into anger. His question struck me. I put a hand on my upper arm, not having to see the bruises to know they were very much real.

"Nothing I couldn't handle," I said in a joking manner. Ed didn't buy it.

"Pete and I will be there in a jiff. Ten minutes, tops," he promised.

"I'll sneak out. Do hurry," and then I replaced the receiver. I picked up my heels where I had left them, right in front of the painting. The stars flashed again before the painting finally grew still.

You will be left behind.

Left behind, a task only for me… I was truly alone in this endeavor. I made my way to the front of the manor through a different route, the servants' halls. Luckily the servants were all so busy serving at the ball their halls were empty.

Before entering the ballroom, I slipped my heels on again. I smoothed my hair out, straightened my dress, then with head held high and a social smile in place, I pushed through the doors of the servants' quarters and stepped into the stream of guests. I had learned how to wade through crowds, and was soon at the front doors where the footmen were helping me into my coats. I stood outside, the yellow ballroom chandelier lights spilling onto the dreary steps outside. My breath rose into a cloud of smoke only once when suddenly a cab stopped in front of the manor. Ed got out of the passenger's seat while Pete came out of the backseat.

Without looking back I crossed the space between the front doors and cab, got in the back of the cab as Pete closed the door. Ed directed the cab in a zigzag of streets as precaution to throw off any pursuers, most notably Derek.

Pete didn't say a word. He only held out a hand to me. I looked at it, then at him, then without explaining or thinking, I immediately hugged Pete the way I did years ago whenever Mother and Father were out all night for social functions and we were left with the nanny. Pete always found me crying in my room, crying out for Mother, begging her not to go to those balls, those horrid grown-up balls that kept her away from me. Pete would tell me grown-ups do what they had to do, and children do what they had to do.

"What do they do?" a five-year old I had asked a then six-year old Pete.

"Face their fears and act bravely," he had nodded, a hard look of determination on his face. "I'm your big brother, Su. Ed and I won't let anyone harm you, ever," he spoke of the then three-year old Ed, asleep in his and Pete's room just across the hall. He would then sit on my bed and give me a hug, not letting go until I said I was also as brave as he was.

Pete seemed to have his thoughts run the same course as mine, for he rested his chin on my head and whispered, "How brave do you feel now?"

My normal response would have been, "As brave as you are." But tonight, I wasn't feeling that at all. I only buried myself into his shoulder more, whispering, "Not brave at all."

The cab stopped in front of our house. Ed had informed me that Jill and Eustace were staying for the week. I felt even more rotten for the way I had treated them. I was definitely going to be walking on eggshells for the next days.

I made it to my room, but not before Ed called my attention. I turned and faced him.

"What is it?" I whispered, not wanting to wake the others.

"Remember Calormen? Remember Rabadash?" he ask-whispered. I was about to shake my head in denial when suddenly images of turbans, deserts, stinging colors, curved swords, and slaves crashed into my consciousness. Then a deep-colored skinned man who had an evil look as well as an evil smell about him formed within my mind's senses.

I halted the images and looked at Ed sharply. "What of them?"

"Archenland and Narnia were nearly grappled at the neck because of him, because of his lust for you," he didn't sound like Edmund Pevensie from Finchley, London, but as a high royal noble. "A war nearly started between our closest allies because of that uncivilized slave-drenched ruler. Have you forgotten that that war was because of him wanting you, the very same way Derek wants you?"

I flinched. Ed's words hit a sore spot. His words did ring true. But how I had forgotten! I had truly forgotten. Even more shame was finding its way to me. Shame upon shame!

I'm not Susan the Gentle. I'm Susan the Shameful!

"How cruel, brother," I sniffled, feeling the first prick of tears. "You bring back to me of these events."

"To remind you the reason we fought in the first place: to protect your honor. To preserve the right that all Narnians are free," he came and stood in front of me. "You may have scoffed at us earlier, pushed us away, and even lashed out at us for mentioning Narnia, generalizing our entire experiences there as childish games," he shook his head. "But the issues and wars we dealt with while there were most definitely not the toils of children. They were very much adult."

I turned my head away, the consuming burn of humiliation wrapping around me. Of all of us, not Peter's shouted reprimands nor Lucy's ecstatic talk could bring me to humility more than Ed's calm and just words.

"Ed," my voice cracked. I tried forming the words, but each time I tried to sound them out, my face twisted and my throat threatened to release a sob. "I-I found something out tonight, but I have to sort it out on my own – don't worry," I cut him off as he prepared to argue back. "I heard you: I'm not going anywhere with Derek, nor am I going to leave the house for a while." He let out a relieved snort. "That analogy of Derek to Rabadash did jog my memory." I left out the fact that my upper arms were colored with Derek's fingerprints. Ed, along with Pete and Su would have most definitely chased after Derek with the sharpest objects they could find and hunt him down like a Dumb Beast of Calormen.

"Finally you're talking some sense," Ed smiled. I hugged Ed. "Promise you'll tell me whatever it is you found out, once you've gotten it all straightened out, whatever it is?" he squeezed me to reply.

"Yes," I pulled away.

"No lies?"

"None, brother," I smiled. He nodded in satisfaction. He let me go and I entered my room. In the darkness, the memory of the stars whirled in my mind. Their message was simple, yet it was a great feat to accomplish.

King Caspian X has died. With the Great Lion's will, his majesty has entered the world of the kings and queens of old. The Great Lion has put the queen on the task to find King Caspian X The Navigator.

The Last Battle of Narnia draws near. The Navigator must be there when the doors to the Great Lion's country opens.

The Seven Friends will be with The Navigator in being moved into Narnia.

The Queen of the Horn must be left behind.

Inkling as to where The Navigator is to be found: where he sees best.

The message was all so confusing. This list, this task…

"…the task which the stars have bid will not be as you think at first. Pay less heed to appearances but more to the implication…" the soft, rumbling, wild yet tame distant voice echoed.

"Where he sees best," I repeated. I looked out my window. No stars shone tonight; the London fog draped around the city like a heavy, oppressive woolen shawl.