Authors Note:

Birthing is such a painful, messy, complicated, dangerous thing. Even in this day and age.

"In 2015, an estimated 303,000 women will die from complications related to pregnancy or childbirth. In addition, for every woman who dies in childbirth, dozens more suffer injury, infection or disease."

Aside from that add to it the pressure women have always faced - feeding and caring for other humans, returning to work and providing a living (either by harvesting as in our story or by making wages as in the real world) and you have a very perfect example of how messed up society has always been towards women. Equality, for me, looks more like being able to take time off work to nurture and support the next generation without fear of repercussion or wage loss.


His hands trailed over her skin.

She could feel him touching her everywhere. Soon those fingers grew large, thick, hot - so hot, too hot. The invasive caress becoming a crushing force as his hand encompassed her body. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. Her mouth opened with a wordless plea, but Mark just grinned stupidly on his too large body. She beat against his knuckle ineffectively, only stopping when she heard his laugh. It was large, booming, hissing. Bernell's eye snapped up. A red line traveled curiously across his neck in a sloppy, crooked path.

She squinted to better understand when the tissue suddenly began to pull apart, fiber by fiber. Blood began pouring out in a boiling flood. It leaked over her, around her. It pooled in the monsters grasp, burning her stomach - the heat settling and eating through her abdomen to the baby within.

Bernell shot up, hand to her chest, lungs heaving. The house was dark, soft snores greeted her. She wiped at the cold sweat along her brow when a curious pain shot across her stomach and up her back. She ground her teeth, clenching her body around the source of her pain; the baby. It subsided gradually. She stood and began gathering supplies. She had known labor would be soon, she didn't think it would happen at this ungodly hour.

She hurried to gather rags, put a large barrel of water on the stove top and stoked the flames. The heat was intense; nearly unbearable so close. Bernell took a seat beside the heat as she started breathing through another contraction. When she opened her eyes Phillip was beside her, his eyes curious and scared.

"My mom died in childbirth." He whispered.

Bernell attempted to smile, sure that it looked too tight and thin to be reassuring. "I've done this twice before." She doubled over her abdomen as another wave of pain rocked her. "It'll be hours yet." She assured him. "Try to sleep."


Lisa placed a hand on Bernell's sweat drenched forehead. She'd been in labor for the majority of the morning. Lisa was at a loss. She pushed Bernell's knees apart again, feeling her cervix.

"Well?" Bernell panted, grimacing from the pain.

Lisa shook her head. "Two fingers." She frowned, "you've hardly progressed since this morning and your waters still haven't broken."

Bernell chuckled softly, earning an odd look. "All my kids were stubborn." She fell back against the pillow, licking her lips. "My waters have never spilled of their own accord."

Lisa nodded though Bernell wasn't looking. "That's what you said." She bit her lip. "I'm not a doctor though." Her hands trembled, clutching the sewing needle. "What if I hurt you?"

Bernell closed her eyes as another wave of pain hurled through her. This was different, no matter what she told the others. She'd never had this pain with so little progress. Weren't they supposed to come faster the more kids you had? Part of her wondered, feared, that it was in part with how she had conceived the child. Maybe she'd succeeded in hurting the baby somehow in those early months. She squeezed her eyes closed as another wave of pain rushed up her back. When the flood of pain relented to the calm consistent ache she looked at Lisa, grabbing her arm.

"What if the baby is deformed or... or worse?" Her face paled as dread knotted her heart.

Lisa shook her head as Gabriel ran in, little Jennifer in his arms. "You can't think like that." She admonished, before turning to the children.

Ezra trailed in after his big brother, his eyes wide and concerned. "Mom, are you okay?"

Bernell tried to smile. "Yes, sweetheart. This baby is just as stubborn as its older brothers. That's all sweetheart." She pushed herself up onto her elbows, one eye closed from pain. "Now go back outside to play. Lisa and I need quiet. If anything happens you come right back in here. Understand?"

Gabriel nodded, bouncing with with baby in his arms. Her squeals of joy followed them out the door. Bernell could watch them through the window. She sighed, falling back against the pillows that had been stacked up, her hand clenching in one of the blankets as another wave of pain washed through her. Lisa offered her a cup of ice - easily accumulated when buckets were left outside overnight this time of year. Greedily Bernell bit on the ice, the water cooled her internally. She looked at Lisa, whose face was flushed with nerves.

"Lisa-" Bernell began.

Her hand tightened around the curved needle. "I-I can't!" She interrupted, her eyes closing tightly. "I can't break your water. I can't... I can make you more herbal pastes or a drink perhaps to speed the process. I-I've got..." She wandered towards her plants, frantically listing them, "I have the raspberry leaf, licorice, fenugreek, basil. I can make more of that primrose oil-"

"Lisa!" Bernell shushed her, "We've tried all that. I need you to do this. Please?"

Lisa sat again, hands trembling. "I could kill both of you."

Bernell lay her head back against the pillow, her hands dropping to her tense, tight stomach. "It'll be okay." She promised, her face softening into a small smile. "I promise."


Evening approached, the sun faded against the tree line in a beautiful orange eruption. Bernell's screams cut through the peaceful scenery.

"Please." She begged, sweat plastering her hair to her body, wearing nothing but a thin night dress which clung to her now. "Please, please make it stop." She cried, amniotic fluid puddling on the floor as she paced. "Lisa, I'm so tired. I'm so so tired! Pl-" She rushed to the bucket, vomiting from pain as another contraction took over her body.

Lisa tried to reassure the children, holding Jennifer to her breast as the baby greedily ate.

"Is mom going to die?" Gabriel asked, holding Ezra tight to him.

"No." Lisa smiled softly, gathering his empty plate and moving it to the dirty dishes bin, sliding a quick thank you to Phillip who was washing the dishes. "Sometimes when a baby is very comfortable they fight coming out. You'll have a new sibling soon."

"You said soon this morning too." Ezra pointed out.

His plate was still mostly full. All the children were anxious, upset. Lisa couldn't blame them. They had seen a Titan wandering in the distance earlier that evening; add that to the scouting regiment that had flown by a few miles away and it was an anxious time for everyone. Bernell let out another low whine of pain. Lisa could make out her body, shuddering from sobs, in the faint glow of the sun. The sky was a violent red, fading to violet and finally the indigo of the night sky. The fire in the hearth crackled and popped merrily. To avoid giving their position away Lisa drew the curtains and opened the top of two of the four stoves. Each of the children moved to light their lanterns and made their way to the front room to wish Bernell a good night.

She was pale, drawn. She licked her lips again. Between the sweating, leaking fluids, and vomiting Lisa wasn't sure she was staying hydrated enough. She grabbed another cup, filling it with water, adding just a hint of primrose oil and crush red raspberry leaf. Her eyes drifted to the bent hook that was sitting with the clean dishes now. She shuddered at the feeling of liquid rushing over her hands and arms when she'd snagged the water. Immediately Bernell's stomach had shrunk incredibly. The birthing experience was so unlike Lisa's.

Sure it had taken a while, but her water had broken on her own while she had been in the hotel room grooming the roses her love had left for her after a wonderful night together. A doctor had been called into the room and five hours, a new set of bed sheets, new mattress filling, and a few more coins later Lisa was holding her sweet baby. A girl. Lisa looked at the fitfully sleeping Bernell, frowning. He hadn't been happy when he'd shown up to see his daughter. Lisa had so many emotions and expectations. He was so handsome, his face drawn and serious, his clothes well tailored. He smiled when he had seen her - his face quickly clouding over. She knew he had wanted her; his face, his actions, his words all proved it. He lay in the bed beside her, stroking the face of the suckling infant.

"She's beautiful." He had said, the quiver in his voice made Lisa's heart drop. "I-I have to stop seeing you."

Lisa felt herself grow numb. "What?" She had whispered.

Bernell woke with a groan, curling and twitching with the pain. Lisa shook her head. She had whispered. She should have yelled, cried, screamed... done something. But she had known it was hurting him. She had known, somewhere deep inside, that this moment was coming. Of course, it was before the wall fell to the Titans. He had still visited, though far less common than before, and always there was a sense of urgency in him. When they came and took him... when they left her... Lisa squeezed her eyes and opened them again. It was dark in the cave. She jumped awake, startled. She'd dozed off on accident for a few hours it seemed.

"Bernell?" She moved forward, stoking the fire cautiously to stir the embers, adding another log to get the light going.

Bernell was pale, but asleep. The cup beside her had tipped over but was empty; a few drops had fallen to the floor. Lisa's heart froze. She was so still, so peaceful. Cautiously she reached out a hand, sighing in relief when a faint breeze brushed her fingertips. She jumped back, falling to the ground when her gaze met Bernell's.

"A-are you okay?"

Bernell nodded, her hair a sweaty mess. She stank of sweat and that odd smell of birthing. She had piled blankets on top of herself. Lisa felt fear wash over her; what if something really was wrong?

"I have to push now." Bernell whispered, "But I'm so tired, Lisa." Her voice was wobbling with tears and hopelessness.

Lisa braced herself, moving to Bernell's heels and hitching them up. "Okay." She whispered, forcing a smile on her face. "Okay, Bernell. You can do this. You're the strongest one here. You can do this."

Bernell moaned low as she pushed, soiling the blanket that was already soaked with amniotic fluid. Lisa disposed of the blanket - moving it to the side and replacing it with a cleaner one. As a herbalist she had seen many women give birth, the process did not disturb her in the least.

"Sorry." Bernell whispered, "I may have just wet myself. I don't know. I can't tell." she was sobbing, hysterical. "I-I'm -" A scream of pain interrupted her as she bore down and pushed from her core. Every muscle in the exhausted woman was tense.

She sobbed as she relaxed, melting back into the chair. "Lisa I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She cried, "I'm so tired. I'm too tired. I can't push. I can't."

"I know, I know." Lisa whispered, rubbing the other woman's thighs. "I know it's hard, I know you're tired but you gotta push. Just one more big one... and there! There you go, yes." Lisa's eyes were trained, watching the skin stretch and pull back. A dark mass of hair peeking through. "That's right, that's right. The heads coming through. Good job, push Bernell! PUSH!"

She screamed, the effort she put forth was palpable. Lisa's hands shook as she held up the small human. The infant was silent, purple - immediately Lisa felt a wave of emotions crashing over her as the baby's mouth opened in a silent cry. she looked to Bernell, whose eyes were nearly closed.

"My baby." she slurred, "Is-?"

"A girl." Lisa's voice was small just as the infant took a breath in and began screeching as loud as it's tiny little lungs could manage. "You've got a healthy, beautiful baby girl." She set the infant down on Bernell's chest, watching as the child struggled towards abreast and latching onto her mother's nipple, settling in and nursing.

Bernell winced and grimaced. "I forgot how painful this part was." She hissed through clenched teeth.

Lisa watched with narrowed eyes as Bernell's body began shaking, tears streaming down her cheeks. Alarm coursed through her, "If it hurts that bad we can-"

"No." Bernell growled, arms wrapping around the baby with determination. "It was like this with Ezra as well. I will nurse her. I will."

Lisa nodded, hands falling to her sides as she moved back to between her friends legs. The placenta passed through without any struggle.

"You tore a little." Lisa commented. "I'm going to have to stitch it."

Bernell's eyes were still screwed shut. She nodded silently.

"Good news is that it's along your old tear line, we don't need to worry about any new scar tissue or muscle damage." She clipped the thread. "Now just rest and recover." Lisa grinned, "She's beautiful, Bernell. You were so wonderful."

Lisa was answered with a soft hush of breath. Bernell had already fallen asleep despite the nursing pain. It was a shallow rest, Lisa could tell by the way Bernell's eyes moved and body twitched - already adjusting to the little life she had to protect and keep safe. Lisa rose, setting about to the task of cleaning. She took the dirty, wet sheets and carefully started a large fire. They couldn't afford to risk the smells to hang around the house for days if that's what Titans were attracted to and with that one coming so close to their house... it was worth the extra precaution.

After a few hours work Lisa leaned back, wiping her forehead and watching as the sky changed color. She was exhausted. She really was; she was also so alive. There was something magical about helping another being come into the world and the life they had wasn't near so bad as she had first imagined it would be. She watched the black of the night sky fade to purple and pink. She wondered, despite herself, if he ever missed her. Inside she could hear Jennifer's whine. She stood, shaking her head and brushing her hair out of her face, readjusting the cloth she used to keep the short strands, carefully cropped, out of her eyes and shook away her melancholy. She had people to care for. There was no time to reminisce.