Sorry for the delay and thank you for the reviews.

Chapter 12

Sunday,

4:00 pm

Horatio blinked a couple of times and waited for his eyesight to focus. He hadn't thought it was possible but he was feeling worse then he had earlier. The undercurrent of pain was still going strong while the meds they'd pumped into him continued to dull his reaction to it. Now, apparently as an added attraction, his skin felt like it was a size too small and the room temperature was climbing. Horatio shifted restlessly and bit back a groan. This was worse than the last time he'd been in a hospital. He let his gaze drift around the room and considered swearing. For once, he was alone. If he'd been feeling better, this would have been welcome but right now it wasn't. He couldn't make his hand move enough to reach the call button.

Frustrated, Horatio stared up at the ceiling again. What had woken him up? Something had worked through the haze and alerted him. He didn't think it could be anything dangerous, not here in the hospital, but he was feeling anxious, like something was wrong. Concentration wasn't coming any easier than his ability to reach the call button. Damn drugs, his focus kept drifting. Somewhere between the frustration and worry, he fell back into an uneasy sleep.

Not more than ten minutes later, Yelena strode angrily into the room with Eric right on her heels. She turned to face him, her voice a quiet hiss, "Not here, Delko, just drop it."

Eric shook his head, shooting a quick glance at Horatio. He kept his voice lowered as well, "Oh no, you're not hiding in here. Mr. Duquesne made a perfectly reasonable request. She just wants to see him."

"And I said no. What part of that is so hard to understand?" Yelena gestured angrily.

"All of it!" Eric hunched his shoulders at her furious glare. That had come out louder than he intended. He held up his hands, his voice much quieter, "Look, I don't know what the big deal is. H is asleep three-quarters of the time anyway. He won't know she's here. She just needs to know that he's alive, that's all."

"No thanks to her. I've told you, I don't want that woman anywhere near him."

Eric ran his hands through his hair in frustration while he tried to control his temper. He just knew that Calleigh's hearing loss was tied to Horatio's shooting. It was possible that seeing H alive and getting better would break loose whatever was that was going on in her head. Why the hell was Yelena being so difficult? Calleigh and Horatio were close but not like Yelena was thinking. Finally he turned back to her with a laser glare, "So have you thought about how H is going to react when he finds out what you've been doing? Do you have any idea how angry he's going to be - with you? You didn't see how he was when we were afraid she might be dead."

He wasn't sure if he saw a brief flash of uncertainty or not but then Yelena's posture stiffened, "All the more reason to keep her away. She'll lead him on, get his hopes up and then break his heart." She folded her arms, cocking an eyebrow at him, "You should know what that's like."

Eric's temper flared and he straightened up, using his height to loom over her. His voice deepened in anger, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about." Time and distance had helped provide a little more objectiveness to his relationship with Calleigh. It was a bit easier to see how his one-track obsession with Owens had forced Calleigh to back away. He should have listened to Alexx and let Calleigh approach it in her own way. He turned towards the bed, "I think we should ask him."

"No!" Yelena held out a hand, "Don't you dare disturb him. He needs to rest." She huffed for a moment and then glared hard at Eric, "Five minutes and that's it - no more."

"Fine," Eric turned and walked out. Five minutes was better than nothing although the whole situation was ridiculous. Calleigh and Horatio's relationship had always been tight. She'd been one of the original members of his team and there was an obvious mutual admiration and respect. Horatio's withdrawal after Mari's death had been hardest on Calleigh. Now, Yelena was somehow construing that to mean that they'd been involved romantically.

Eric shook his head. It was ironic that Cal believed in karma considering how life had dumped on her after she'd pushed him away because of Owens. Talk about payback. That asshole Hagan had nearly broken her. He still remembered the panic he'd felt when he'd entered the range and found her gone. The gravitational drop of bloody gore on the sleeve of her lab coat had made him look up and see what was left of Hagan's brains on the ceiling. It wasn't hard to figure out what happened. He hadn't been able to reach Horatio but he did manage to give the clean-up crew an earful while he searched the rest of the lab for Calleigh. His stomach had dropped right to his shoes when he saw the shift board and realized her nameplate had been removed.

That five week period that she was gone had been hell. Horatio had withdrawn even more, making life at work increasingly difficult. Apparently, it had also left the door open for idle gossip and rumor as everyone speculated on Calleigh's absence. Eric and Alexx had quashed a few of the more outrageous ones. It had been somewhat of a surprise when she did come back to find that she'd transferred out of Ballistics. The Firearms replacement Horatio had brought in was a classic example of the indifferent government employee and a striking contrast to Calleigh's normal energy and efficiency. It spoke volumes on H's state of mind that he'd hired the man at all. Until she was gone, Eric also hadn't realized how integral Cal was in the daily workings of the lab. Horatio might be their leader but Calleigh had been their anchor. She was the one everyone turned to to handle the little day-to-day details and unravel the snafus that plagued every workplace. And, when you got down to it, she just made people feel better when she was around. He and the rest of the lab personnel had breathed a collective sigh of relief when she finally returned.

Before Calleigh came back, there'd been one more upheaval although not nearly as traumatic. Natalia Boa Vista had appeared and blown through the lab like a hurricane, spewing Federal grant money everywhere. When she was done, they'd had a sparkly new, state-of-the-art facility. Despite the chaos (and inevitable construction goofs) Natalia remained pleasant and patient with the displaced and grumpy lab rats. That she was bright and extremely easy on the eyes was an added bonus and Eric found himself smiling more when he was in her presence. He'd missed Calleigh desperately and needed the distraction. It had been easy to fall into old ways and the next thing he knew, he and Natalia were an item. If he'd been totally honest with himself, there'd been the tiniest bit of vindictiveness, too. Calleigh didn't want him? Well, she could watch Natalia and see what she was missing.

Sunday,

4:30 pm

Eric stopped just outside Calleigh's room and tapped on the doorframe, gaining Duke's attention. Alexx had left a little earlier to take care of her own family. Seeing her father turn got Calleigh's attention too, and Eric gave her a warm smile. "Five minutes," he said, holding up his hand with the fingers spread for Calleigh's benefit.

"Right now? Will Ms. Salas be there?" Kenwall let a little annoyance creep into his voice as Delko nodded. That woman's attitude had been just this side of rude. His daughter wasn't in any shape to withstand Yelena's undeserved vitriol.

"I brought a wheelchair," Eric's smile grew a bit wider. "And someone to give us a hand."

Both Calleigh and Duke broke into smiles as well when Louise Vanderosen appeared pushing the wheelchair. The RN smiled back as she walked up to the bed and then waggled a finger at Calleigh, "When I told you before to keep in touch, this isn't what I meant."

Kenwall chuckled at that while Calleigh gave a semi-helpless shrug. Her expression lightened when her father handed over the pad with Louise's comment and she gave the nurse a rueful look, "Not my idea of fun either. How have you been?"

"Busy." Louise's answer was succinct as she moved to the IV stand. Kenwall lowered the side rail and raised the bed more before heading for the closet and the robe Alexx had brought earlier. He knew how Calleigh felt about hospital gowns. It only took them a few minutes to get her situated in the wheelchair. The blonde had been more than a little embarrassed when her knees buckled while attempting to stand up. Both Louise and Kenwall had brushed off her apologies. The elder Duquesne had agreed with Louise's comment that she'd have been more surprised if Calleigh had actually managed the few steps to the wheelchair this soon.

Eric had been waiting patiently out in the corridor. He knew how Calleigh was and figured she wouldn't appreciate an audience. He grinned when she appeared in the doorway and couldn't help leaning down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. He knew he hadn't spent much time with her since her fever had broken. He told himself it was because he was the only one from the lab who had access to Horatio and he needed to keep an eye on Yelena. Calleigh smiled a little as she regarded Eric with affection, all the while telling herself not to read anymore into it than one friend's concern for another. Eric had moved on.

As the little procession wheeled down the corridor, Calleigh had to force her hands to stay still to keep them from betraying her nervousness. Alexx had been very clear before she left that Horatio was still in serious condition and would probably sleep through her visit. In a way, that made it easier. Calleigh wasn't sure she could face a conscious Horatio just yet. She was still coming up blank on exactly what had happened. Alexx had only given her the bare bones: the Burrus brothers had forced the SAR copter down, killing the pilot; she had somehow shot and killed Budge, Milo had shot Horatio and SWAT had shot Milo. It was confusing and upsetting. She did remember talking to Eric on the phone. He would have told Horatio, so she was ultimately responsible for setting off the chain of events that had nearly killed her mentor and friend. She never should have called.

Her nervousness grew when they reached the closed door of Horatio's room. Calleigh shot a grateful look at her father when his hand found its way to her shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. Eric gave her a reassuring smile as well before tapping on the door and then pushing it open. He entered first and then held it open for Louise to roll the wheelchair through. Both he and Kenwall immediately looked to Yelena to assess her reaction and convey a silent warning to behave. Calleigh only had eyes for Horatio. Her breath caught a little as Louise pushed her up to the side of the bed. He was paler than she'd ever seen him, the sheet barely covering the bandages across his chest and arm. Oh god, what had she done?

Tentatively, she reached out to touch his hand. It felt cold and she looked at Louise, "He's going to be okay?"

Louise nodded with a reassuring smile, her eyes tightening a little at Yelinda's muttered, 'No thanks to you.' She kept her attention on Calleigh, ignoring both Eric and Duke's furiously quiet protests and shifted slightly to make sure the blonde couldn't see past her. She needn't have bothered. Calleigh's attention was focused solely on the slow rise and fall of Horatio's chest. Finally, Calleigh looked up at the RN and nodded. She was subdued on the way back and Eric and Duke exchanged concerned looks. This was not what they wanted to see.

Calleigh kept her back straight as Louise returned them to her room. What she wanted to do was cry but there was no way she could give in to it with her father and Eric right there. She didn't see how Horatio would ever forgive her for this. He'd been with the MDPD for over ten years without an injury and it only took a one day collision with her past to put him in the hospital for who knew how long.

Once Calleigh was back in her own bed, she thanked Louise and Eric and then announced she was tired and wanted to take a nap. She didn't miss the concerned looks the three exchanged but didn't really care. She needed to be alone and sleep seemed to be the easiest way to achieve her goal. Stoically, she accepted Louise's reassuring squeeze of her hand and her father's kiss before watching them troop out the door. Eric had given her a careful hug but she wasn't sure if he was afraid he'd hurt her or if he was still keeping his distance. With a sigh, she turned on her side and closed her eyes. God damn the Burruses. She'd lost her hearing, possibly her career and had damn near gotten Horatio killed as well. She could almost wish they'd just pulled the trigger when they had the chance.

Sunday,

6:30 pm

Calleigh opened her eyes, frowning slightly. A change in the air currents had wafted over, telling her that someone had entered the room. A small part of her was fascinated by the phenomenon but the rest of her was just annoyed. How many times did she have to politely say 'no thank you, I'm tired, not hungry.'? Turning over, she looked at her visitor and bit back a groan, "You."

Dale Lindsay smiled and nodded as he walked over to the chair by the side of the bed and sat down. He held up the chalkboard he'd had tucked under an arm, 'We need to talk.'

Calleigh resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she pushed herself upright, "What for?" Dale pointed to his ear and she scowled, "Fine. I can't hear, there's no physical reason so it must be me. I admit it. I have no idea how to turn it back on and neither do you. Fill out your papers and stick me in the psych ward if that makes you happy. Are we done? I was trying to sleep."

She watched as he wiped off the first message and wrote another. 'You're angry.' Calleigh did roll her eyes when she read that, "No kidding. That degree of yours is certainly paying off."

He had the temerity to chuckle at her sarcasm and wrote something else.

Calleigh read, 'Horatio?' and then glanced away. This was not a subject she wanted to discuss - especially with a shrink, "What about him?" After a moment or two, she looked back to see Dale watching her patiently. Grim-faced, Calleigh struggled to keep her voice level, "He's down the hall with a hole in his chest - something you already know."

Dale tilted his head and her scowl deepened, "Fine. He's down the hall with a hole in his chest because of me. Happy now?"

She huffed a little at the pointed look he gave her, "Of course it's my fault. He wasn't out in the 'Glades because he wanted some fresh air. He was out there trying to find me."

Dale shook his head as he wrote again and held up the board. Calleigh stiffened slightly, "'His choice'? We're talking about Horatio Caine here, white knight extraordinare. There was only one choice. He would still be fine if I'd called MDPD instead of the lab." It was hard but true. There was some comfort in knowing he would recover but there was also a feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. As much as it pained her to admit it, they hadn't been on the best of terms lately. How he would react to being shot and to her role in it was anybody's guess.

She waited tensely for Dale's next tangent, positive she wasn't going to like it. A few minutes later, she was found she was right. "'Why did I call Eric?' I don't know. I just did." Dammit, she knew where he was going. It was beyond irritating that he knew how she truly felt about Eric. There was no way she wanted to admit to Dale that she'd been hurting and scared and had needed to hear Eric's voice.

'You still love him?'

Calleigh glanced away again, "That's none of your business." When she looked back, Dale was still watching her and she scowled, "Doesn't really matter anymore, does it? It takes two." He raised an eyebrow and Calleigh blew out an exasperated breath, "What do you want me to say? I screwed up our relationship before it ever got off the ground and he moved on." She looked down at her hands, sighing lightly, "At least we're still friends."

Dale's hand waving caught her attention. Resigned, she looked up to see how much further the psychiatrist wanted to go in tormenting her about Eric. Her brow furrowed, "'My relationship with Horatio?' I don't understand."

'Strained?'

Calleigh stared at him. Dammit, how much did he know? She gave a non-committal shrug while fiddling with the bed sheets. Defending Horatio was second nature for her, "He's been going through a rough time." Calleigh frowned at his next message, "'Took it out on me?' No, that's not how it was. He - withdrew, from everyone, not just me." Reading Dale's response made her frown deepen, "It was just a disagreement over procedure." Calleigh shifted under Dale's gaze. The row she and Horatio had had after Kornspan shot her had also marked the first time she'd ever been openly angry with Horatio. She'd had every right to go off on him after he'd started pontificating about not taking unnecessary risks - talk about the pot calling the kettle black - but she should have had more control. The end result was Horatio doing his best to avoid her altogether and his best was pretty damn good. Although Calleigh didn't think she should have apologized for her words, she definitely owed him an apology for the tone she'd used. The problem had been, up until this latest fiasco, that she'd been unable to pin him down long enough to make the apology. Dale was still staring at her and she rolled her eyes in exasperation, "Fine. We were barely speaking and then these maniac brothers from my past show up and nearly kill him. I think that pretty much tanks any chance I might have had to fix things."

'Have you talked to him?'

Calleigh stared at Dale in disbelief, "I take back what I said about your degree. Let's recap: Horatio's unconscious and I can't hear. I'd say that's a no. Good lord, don't you have someone else to fix?"

Lindsay smiled as he shook his head and wrote his next message.

'Burrus brothers.' Calleigh's expression became more guarded, "What about them?"

'2nd time - tried to kill you.'

Calleigh pulled back further, "So?" When Dale frowned at her, she shrugged defensively, "They didn't. It's over."

He wrote his reply and tapped the board for emphasis, 'No, it's not.'

Her eyes narrowed, "Yes. It. Is."

Dale regarded Calleigh somewhat impatiently. He usually enjoyed her combativeness - even when she felt like hell, she could still give him a run for his money. Duquesne wasn't just smart - she was quick-witted as well, traits that didn't always go together and that kept him on his toes. Despite everything she'd gone through in her life, she remained remarkably stable; although he would have preferred that she didn't internalize so much. At least it didn't manifest itself in self-destructive behavior - not physically, anyway. Emotionally, however, her defenses could put Fort Knox to shame. Not many people saw beyond the public facade. For someone as determinedly, nearly obsessively, self-reliant as Duquesne was, it was no surprise that she didn't like psychiatry and, by extension, psychiatrists. He never took it personally.

This hearing loss was serious, however, and whether she admitted it or not - she needed help. The guilt and horror caused by the Burrus brothers had been festering for sixteen years. Why the hell no one had thought to get counseling for a traumatized sixteen year-old girl was beyond him. He scribbled out another message, 'You need to talk about this.' When she shook her head, he wiped out the board and wrote again, 'Ashbys, Horatio - NOT your fault.' He sighed inwardly as her face lost all expression. Damn, she was stubborn. He'd figured she'd either fight or shut down. Obviously, he'd been hoping for the fight. Well, tomorrow was another day and he knew it was time for a strategic retreat. At least he'd given her something to mull over. Dale erased the board again and wrote out a last message. Standing up, he handed it to her, placed the chalk on the nightstand and walked out.

Calleigh read the board and then looked up in time to see the door close. Sighing, she leaned back and contemplated his words again. 'You have no control over others. See you tomorrow.' Letting the board fall onto her lap, she stared off into space. Damn shrinks, it had to be some sort of union rule that every sentence out of their mouths had to sound like some deeply profound declaration. Calleigh glanced at the board again and snorted, even the written stuff was that way. The hubris of psychiatry never failed to annoy the hell out of her. It was like watching some charlatan faith healer at work. They'd point at your problem, tell you your feelings about it were obviously wrong and then tell you how you should feel. If that didn't straighten you out then you must not be trying hard enough. It wouldn't be their fault.

Hands tightening on the board, Calleigh scowled. Honest to god, she wasn't an idiot. Did Lindsay really think she hadn't considered all this? Damnation, most of her childhood had been spent learning how truly little control she had over everyone but herself. Not her fault? Like hell. Horatio was lying in that hospital bed specifically because of her past. Frustration growing, Calleigh tossed the chalkboard to the foot of the bed and curled up on her side. She couldn't remember Horatio getting shot but the memories of that spring day sixteen years ago were crystal clear. Normally, she didn't dwell on regrets. Not in broad daylight anyway - the times she did were usually in the wee hours of morning after some horrific case when sleep wouldn't come. These circumstances were different, though, and it was impossible not to think about it. If only she hadn't let fear override anger back then. Maybe she couldn't have prevented what happened to the Ashbys but she could have stopped all three brothers right there. As close as she'd been, even with birdshot, the results would have been deadly and who would have questioned it? Most people would have taken it at face value - a horrific crime in progress and a hysterical sixteen year-old girl with a shotgun blasting away at the dreaded Burrus brothers. Some might have even chuckled over the irony.

Tolley wouldn't have been fooled but he probably wouldn't have pushed too hard either. Justice would have been served and maybe her nights wouldn't have been haunted by images of Rad and Maude Ashby. Who knew? Maybe her father would have stopped drinking long enough to defend her if it had come to that. He was a skilled lawyer when sober. Calleigh squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could somehow silence her conscience. Dammit, she'd known even as Tolley had pried the shotgun from her hands all those years ago that it wouldn't be over between her and Milo until one of them was dead. She'd known and done her best to pretend it wasn't so - out of sight and out of mind. Known and ignored the fact that the Burrus brothers would get out one day. Known that Milo wouldn't forget who had put him in prison. What she hadn't considered was the collateral damage.

Monday,

7:00 am

Eric strode quickly down the corridor towards Horatio's room. The hospital staff had been remarkably lenient about visiting hours. He didn't know if it had anything to do with them being cops or if Louise had put a word in for them. Either way, he was grateful. This would be the only time he could check on Horatio today. With both H and Calleigh down, the leadership of the lab had fallen to him. He'd recruited some volunteers from other shifts to help out so they weren't as short-handed as they could have been. Being in charge was no picnic, the paperwork alone was a nightmare, and his respect for both Horatio and Calleigh had grown. His respect for his other colleagues had grown, too. Ryan and Natalia had both stepped up, making his job that much easier. The only fly in the ointment had been Stetler's lurking presence. He seemed to enjoy making the lab techs nervous as he stalked the hallways. It was annoying but Eric preferred to have him there rather than haunting Ryder in hopes of pouncing on either H or Cal.

He paused when he reached Horatio's door. Ingrained politeness demanded that he knock before entering but it was early and he didn't want to disturb H if he could help it. According to the charge nurse, he'd had a rough 24 hours, running a fever on top of all the other aches and pains. The doctors had finally gotten a handle on it but it had set back his recovery that much more. Taking a breath, Eric quietly pushed the door open and walked in. As he'd suspected, Horatio was asleep. Stopping by the side of the bed, Eric frowned a little. H was definitely looking a bit worse for wear. Even paler than before, his face had that pinched look that said he was still hurting. Eric watched him for another minute or so, uncomfortably comparing his appearance to that of Marisol's just before her death. Giving his head a determined shake, Eric turned his gaze to the far wall while he regained his composure. Thinking of his sister invariably made his heart clench. He had to stop doing that, had to stop seeing Marisol when he looked at Horatio.

"Eric?"

Delko's head snapped back to the bed and he stared at his Lieutenant, "H! I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to wake you." He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly at a loss at what to say, "How are you feeling?"

"Not great," Horatio attempted a smile. He took a moment to glance around the room, "No Yelena?"

"It's early. I'm on my way in to the lab. She'll probably be here in a couple of hours." Eric rested his hands on the side rail. "I won't be able to get back here until sometime tonight. You know how it is, crime never takes a break."

"Oh."

Eric frowned a little. While Horatio was an enigma most of the time, their shared loss had made the younger man a little more adept at reading his lieutenant. "The doctors are restricting your visitors to family only until you're feeling better so you're pretty much stuck with just me and Yelena." As he'd hoped, Horatio's expression cleared a bit. Eric adopted a stern look, "But you'd better rest while you can because once they lift that restriction, this place will look like Grand Central Station. Alexx is chompin' at the bit as it is." That got the expected smile, both men were well aware of Alexx's propensity to mother her friends when the situation called for it. She tended to run roughshod over obstacles placed in her path.

"Is Calleigh okay?" Horatio couldn't help tensing a little as he asked. She'd been pretty bad off when he'd found her out there. The fear that she might be dying had plagued his dreams.

Eric took a breath. He wasn't good at lying but Horatio didn't need to hear about Calleigh's hearing or Yelena's antics just yet. He hadn't actually spent that much time with Cal now that she was awake. It was so tempting to try and renew a relationship with her but he wasn't sure if he wanted to take that chance again. What if she didn't feel the same anymore? "She doing a lot better. Her fever finally broke yesterday morning." He tried a grin, "She came by to see you. You were still sleeping."

"She did? I don't... " Horatio's eyebrows rose in surprise, "Why didn't someone wake me?" Pathetic as it sounded now, their shared ordeal in the Glades had been the closest they'd had lately to a normal relationship. Ignoring her all these weeks had been wrong. He had fences to mend with Calleigh.

"Are you kidding?" Eric snorted, "Yelena would have killed us. It was hard enough convincing her to let Calleigh in for a little bit. 'Horatio needs his rest.'" He mimicked and then shook his head, "Actually, Calleigh didn't want to disturb you either. She just wanted to see you."

"She did?" Warm surprise colored Horatio's tone. Maybe their relationship wasn't as damaged as he feared. He looked at Eric again as another unpleasant thought occurred, "She wasn't - the Burrus brothers didn't get to her after I was shot, did they?"

"No," Eric shook his head. "We got there just as Milo shot you. The SWAT guys took him down. He didn't get a chance at her." Eric mentally crossed his fingers that Horatio would leave it there. He wasn't quite sure how to explain about Calleigh's hearing loss. The general consensus was that it was tied into the shock of seeing Horatio take a bullet to the chest on top of everything else she'd been through. Everyone was gingerly skirting around the issue of Cal's mental state. If it wasn't resolved, she'd be forced to resign. Eric tried not to think about it. Calleigh lived for her work, he didn't know how she'd cope if it was taken away. He was almost positive, though, that she wouldn't stay in Miami and if that happened, he wasn't sure how he would cope. He was jolted back to the here and now with Horatio's next question.

"Would you ask her to come see me again? I'd like to be awake this time." Horatio watched his brother-in-law carefully. Eric had seemed unusually tense throughout the entire conversation. Had he and Calleigh finally talked? Had it gone badly? There was no way to know without seeing them both together.

Eric's glance shifted sideways. Oh hell. Once Horatio saw Calleigh, he'd know about her hearing loss. Would he blame himself? There was Yelena, too. She would pitch seven kinds of a fit. Neither Calleigh nor Horatio needed any additional stress right now.