"I wasn't sure I could keep waiting for you to meet me here," his voice floated to her ears. Fifteen year old Serena looked over at him, he'd grown a fair bit in the past two years, his clothes that once hung off of him were beginning to fit him properly. His voice had deepened, quite literally overnight. She had agreed to sneak out of the slaves sleeping chambers and meet him in the stables. She knew they could both get into trouble, but she also knew he seemed like this was something he really needed her to do.
"I had to wait til the other girls were asleep," Serena admitted.
He nodded, and walked over to one of the horses, she was heavy with her colt and it would appear she'd give birth any day now.
"She's so close to having her colt, we've been ordered to take turns staying the night with her. Tonight's my watch," Leto stated.
"Do you like it here? Working the stables, I mean," Serena asked.
Leto shrugged, "It's alright… hauling horse manure and hay bundles has its advantages. Best part is being near a blacksmith though."
Serena raised a brow at that statement and he felt a blush tinting his cheeks as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a thin pewter chain with a pewter ring and a small solitary green gemstone. Her eyes widened.
He gave a small shrug, "I know green's your favourite. It's a peridot. It's supposed to protect against magic, night terrors, and madness—that kind of sounds bad, doesn't it?"
"No," Serena replied.
He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at that single word, before indicating the necklace.
She nodded and turned around, lifting her hair. He unclasped the necklace and gently placed it around her neck, threading the chain under her hand that held her hair off her neck then fastened the clasp.
"Happy birthday," he whispered.
Serena smiled as she let her hair fall down onto her back again. He gently ran his fingers over her hand before she grasped his hand in her own. He gave her a small, weak smile, but the tension in his stomach continued to increase.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just—"he started to answer before losing his nerve. He began playing with a few strands of her hair, his tongue quickly darted out to wet his lips, his eyes gazing at her mouth as he tried to continue, "—I really like you. I— don't—I know but I—"
She watched him, slightly confused before giving a small giggle, "I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous."
He took a deep breath before rambling, "It's just—it's only us and—Prissy over there—she won't tell anyone if I—I mean if I could. If you're okay with it I – I want to, but I won't if—"
"You want to kiss me?"
He lowered his head to avoid her gaze, but gave a small nod, swallowing the lump of nerves that seemed to raise up into his throat.
"So kiss me then," she coaxed.
His eyes met hers with genuine surprise, he gave her a bright smile before he began to lean in. How did mother and father do this again? He leaned in closer, he gently brushed his lips against hers. After the feather light kiss he gently pressed his lips to hers with a little more confidence. He smiled into the kiss as he felt her kissing him back while her arm wrapped around his neck, he gently brought up his hand to cup her cheek.
After a moment he pulled back from the kiss still smiling at her, but the smile quickly faded when he saw she was quietly crying.
He gently thumbed her tears away as he asked, "what's wrong? Something I did?"
She shook her head 'no', as she grasped his hand, nuzzling against his flesh, "no, nothing that simple."
"What then?"
"I told you before, if you're even my friend you'll have a target on your back," she whispered, her voice was filled with pain and regret.
"I told you before, didn't I? It's my risk to take," he reminded her.
"And I'd risk it a thousand times if it meant I could kiss you just once more," he added.
Serena drew her bottom lip into her mouth, lightly biting it.
"If you want to, please don't hold back. I could kiss you forever," he encouraged.
"That's not good. We have to be able to keep acting like nothing ever happened. The Magisters can't know or we'll both be killed," Serena warned.
"Then let's both get our fill while we can. So we're not starved for a while," he suggested.
"What does this make us though? I mean we can't really date. Is this just a distraction?"
Leto shook his head 'no' as he confessed, "Not even close. You are a distraction—a torment even. I keep thinking of you, and I can think of little else. I just want to be around you all the time, as much as I can. I want to hold you, comfort you, keep you safe. I know you've told me you can handle yourself it's just—I—I don't feel like this about anyone else. I'm protective of Varania, yes but this is different. I've felt like this for a while. I'd hoped it would go away but it hasn't. It's only gotten stronger. I just—I wonder if maybe—there might be a chance that you—feel the same about me?"
Serena looked him in the eye, fresh tears beginning down her face, "I do, but I don't think we ca—"
Leto wasn't about to hear it as he insisted, "we can. We'll be discrete. Just meet up a few times a month, after dark, where there's no one else. We'll figure out a code or a signal or something to meet up. Maybe in Elven? You speak it fluently right?"
"I'm fairly fluent—we'd need another night to sort everything out," She relented, looking at the moon's position in the sky, "it's getting late. We'll have to wake up soon."
He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against his body, his chest pressed into her back as he nuzzled her hair and drank in the scent of her neck while he asked, "So I can't kiss you anymore tonight?"
Serena swallowed a little, "I—realize this is really out of nowhere—but, tell you a secret?"
Leto nodded as he cuddled her close to himself.
"I'm scared. Not just about us but about the Magisters, their guards. Some of them—prefer to take slave girls when they're young teenagers. You saved me the one time, nobody's tried since—but I—I don't—I don't want to lo—"
He gave her a quick and chaste kiss before assuring her, "you won't. Not tonight, but it won't be that way. I promise you, I won't allow that to happen."
Fenris shot up in the bed, panting heavily, his mouth was dry like he'd been devouring saw dust and his heart thudded against his chest strong enough to leave its own imprint on his ribcage. He glanced next to him and saw that Serena wasn't in bed anymore. The sun was now high in the sky and he didn't see Serena anywhere in the room.
He covered his face with his hands as he fell onto his back, his mind began to slow down and the dream began to process.
One sentence from his first meeting with her in the tavern just outside of Kirkwall began to play on repeat in his mind, "you have a daughter!"
He'd been so shocked by that news he hadn't pieced it together back then, but it made perfect sense. Serena knew about Letaya because she raised Letaya. Letaya was nineteen, eighteen when Serena had left her with the Dalish to go find him. She had been freed of Danarius twenty years ago and it takes nearly a year to give birth.
He was Letaya's father, and Serena was the mother of his daughter. If he'd felt like a fool when he left Hawke after being with her the first time, it paled in comparison to what he currently felt. Serena had known and because he desired being with her, he had ignored her warnings. If he'd just listened, may he wouldn't have the lyrium markings. It made sense now though. He'd gotten them not just for his mother and ungrateful sister. He'd gotten these markings to save two lives. Two lives that he was responsible for and both responsibilities were due to him giving into his desires. How pathetic.
He felt his breathing hitch as he realized one last thing, the boy that Serena said she loved—it was him. His teenaged self. Hawke hadn't been his first, but she was the first that he could remember at the time. He'd been a teenager with his first girlfriend the first time, and that girlfriend hadn't been with anyone since. Was she still in love with him?
