AN: Hey guys, sorry for the wait again. A lot of shit happened. I just found out that one of my best friends has cancer, so, ya, that rather brings my spirits down. I still haven't cut though :D
Thanks to:
Catmint – I'm glad that its accurate, I'm always worried that my stuff isn't. I'm glad that you haven't really been cutting yourself much. I hope I can stay not cutting. Thanks for telling me what Justin's name was, I was too lazy to look it up in the book the other day.
Sandwichbitch – Glad you liked it. Yeah, Binns is fun, lol, maybe I can work some more of him into the story.
GinnyWeasley888 – I'm glad you like it. Yeah, I used to cut, it's not something I'm proud of, but for some reason I'm not really embarrassed to talk about it on here. Probably because I don't really know any of you guys. If any of my school friends found out I would be embarrassed.
Ckat44 – I'm sorry that you feel that way. I can't really help it if my story encourages other people to cut. If they think that they can't handle it than they shouldn't be reading it anymore. If someone started cutting because of me or my story I would take it down. I don't cut anymore, but even when I did I don't think I needed counselling, thanks for caring, I guess.
Durfaniel – I'm sorry you had to wait so long for the last chapter. This one took awhile too for a couple of reasons. First: I've been sick, second: I've been writing a lot of poetry recently, and last: I've had some personal stuff that I've needed to work through. But, finally I'm back, posting chapter #11, I hope you like it! I'm glad I stopped cutting too, and I'm glad that you stopped. I desperately want to cut right now though.
Kneh13 – I'm not really sure where all of this is going to go, but I'm sure that it will all lead into something and come together at the end crossed fingers
Cinnamon Angel – Hello you. Glad you're enjoying Ron, lol. Yeah, Professor Binns always just seemed like he could be so much fun to me, I just had to play around with him. Yep, they're finally together, not sure what I'm going to do with that yet. Speaking of your story, when is your next chapter coming out? Yes, a suicide, I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do with that, it could be interesting though. Don't pull your hair off, the next chapter has arrived!
Also, I'm not sure how to spell Hannah's last name, correct me if I'm wrong.
CHAPTER 11
"Shit, I don't know what I'd do if someone else in my family died, especially if they took their own life," Ginny said.
"I take it you're not suicidal?"
"God no. I like cutting myself, but I would never take my own life."
"Oh, that's good, I guess," Draco said.
"What? Are you?"
"I've thought about suicide, but I don't think I'd ever do it."
"Good, I don't know what I'd do without you," Ginny said, grabbing Draco's hand.
"Come on, lets go for a walk," Draco said, standing up.
Ginny and Draco walked out of the Great Hall and out onto the grounds. They walked over towards a tree by the lake that they often sat by. But once they got there they realized that there was already someone sitting by the tree. It was Hannah Abbott and she was crying.
Ron, Harry and Hermione sat silently in a compartment of the Hogwarts express. Ron seemed to be glaring out the window.
"Is something wrong Ron?" Hermione finally asked.
"Yes! They only reason Ginny is staying at the school over the holidays is to spend time with that messed up boyfriend of hers."
"Ron, no offense, but I don't think that Ginny's choice of friends is any of your business."
"It damn right is! She's my little sister and I should have a say in who she can and can't hang around with. I swear I should go straight to mum with this," he said.
"But you wouldn't," Hermione said.
"No, no matter how much I dislike all of this I would never go to mum about any of it. I love Ginny too much to get her into trouble with the rest of the family. Harry? Are you still with us?"
"What? Oh, uh, sorry, I guess I dozed off."
"You've been doing that a lot lately, is everything alright?" Hermione asked him.
"Yeah, its fine."
But in all truth they all knew that everything wasn't alright.
"Hannah? What's wrong?" Ginny asked the older student.
"Haven't you heard? Justin is dead."
"Yes, I have heard," Ginny said, sitting down beside Hannah.
"Were you going out with him or something?" Draco said sitting down with Ginny.
"What? Malfoy? No, of course not, he was my cousin."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I know how it feels to lose a loved one," Draco said.
"Since when do you care about anything or anybody but yourself Draco Malfoy?"
"Since I met Ginny," he said.
Harry wasn't sure exactly what to do. He had walked in on Ginny cutting a few days before. He had walked right out of the room without her noticing. It didn't really bother him to watch her do it, it just came as a surprise. Harry used to cut himself. Growing up with the Dursley family, how could he not?
He couldn't really believe that Ginny had been doing it though; she just didn't seem the type. But then, he remembered some stuff about her in the last year. She had kind of drawn back into herself. But, she was so good at hiding her feelings. But, then again, anyone who cuts themselves probably would be.
Should he confront Ginny about what he knew about her? No, he decided that it would be a bad idea, she would probably flip. No, he wouldn't tell her. Not yet.
"So you're telling me, that you, Draco Malfoy, have actually become a real human being?" Hannah asked, wiping her tears off of her face.
"Yep, now come on, lets go inside, I'm freezing," Draco said, pulling Ginny up.
"No, I think I just want to stay alone out here if you don't mind," Hannah said.
"Well, we do mind, come on, get your mind off it. Come spend the day with us, it'll be fun," Ginny said.
"Well, I guess."
Hannah and Ginny followed Draco all the way down to his dorm. Once they got there, Draco told them he had to use the bathroom and he left the two girls to talk for a minute.
One Draco had gotten into the bathroom he sat down on top of the toilet. This was going to be a long afternoon. It was killing Draco to be nice. He knew that it was the right thing to do, he just wasn't used to being nice to anyone but Ginny.
Draco pulled his knife out of his left pocket. He ran the shiny blade over his hand, lightly cutting the flesh. He rolled up one of his sleeves and pushed the blade quickly into his arm. He would have to be quick or the girls would notice his long absence.
He watched the blood flow out of his first cut for a few moments before striking again. He dragged his knife down his arm in a zigzag pattern. The blood started to flow out quickly and covered the skin below before he got to it with his knife. He cut through the bloody skin on his arm. He watched the blood running down his arm. A little bit ran off of his hand and onto the floor. Draco stood up, washed his hands and walked back into his room.
"Took you long enough," Hannah said.
"Yeah, Draco," Ginny said, looking into his eyes.
Draco quickly looked away from her prying gaze.
"Um, come on, let's go fly or something," he suggested.
"I thought you wanted to get out of the cold," Ginny said.
"I did, but now I'm bored."
"Ok, let's go outside then," Hannah said.
Draco grabbed his broom from his closet and summoned Ginny and Hannah's brooms for them.
They all walked out onto the pitch. Draco was the first one to kick of the ground followed by Ginny. Hannah looked up at them zooming around the pitch and followed them up into the air.
Draco and Ginny were both quite skilled at flying. Hannah wasn't bad at flying, but it wasn't really her thing. She loved to fly, but knew that she would never get really good at it.
Harry, Hermione and Ron got off of the train and stepped out into the muggle part of the station. They saw Mr. and Mrs. Weasley waiting for them. As soon as the Weasleys noticed all of them standing there they walked quickly over to great them.
"It's just wonderful that you kids could come home for the holidays!" Mrs. Weasley said loudly hugging them all.
"No, problem mum, lets just get out of here," Ron said, starting to walk away.
"What's wrong with Ron?" his mother asked.
"I'm not sure, he has been acting really odd in the last couple of weeks." Hermione said.
Hermione, Harry and the Weasleys then followed Ron over to the car that Mr. Weasley had rented for them. It was going to a very long holiday.
Draco sighed. It had nearly killed him spending the whole day with a Hufflepuff. She wasn't that bad it was just the fact that he had just done it that was bothering him. He never spent time with anyone from any house but Slytherin. Well, except for Ginny. As soon as he got back into his dorm he collapsed onto his bed. He pulled out his knife and felt a sense of relief.
He rolled up the bottom of his robes. He looked around on his leg, there weren't very many cuts on his legs because he preferred cutting his arms. He brought the knife down onto his leg very hard. He dragged the knife through the flesh of his shin. The blood started pouring out of the gash, staining his socks.
Draco needed to feel pain. Right now he didn't really care about the blood, he just wanted to be in pain. He brought his knife back down and sliced into the cut that he had just made. It made his eyes sting. He brought the knife back down and made a cut right above that last one. He made another cut above that. His leg was bleeding freely now and he was staining the sheets on his bed. He brought his knife back down onto the fresh cuts and dragged it slowly down to his ankle.
He raised the knife from his bloody ankle and aimed a bit higher. He pressed the knife into the top of his knee. Suddenly Draco thought of something that would cause him a lot of pain for the next few days. He stretched out his leg and placed his knife at the back of his knee. He pushed the knife into the tender flesh on the back of his knee. It didn't hurt to much to make the cut, but Draco knew that it would hurt a lot later on because that part of his leg rubbed against everything. Every time Draco sat down he would feel the pain on his leg and remember this horrible day. Draco now brought his knife over to his other leg. He could spare a bit more blood tonight.
Ginny sat in her dorm. It had been a rough day. It would have been a good day if she hadn't known what it was doing to Draco. She knew that it was horrible for him to have to spend the day with Hannah. She knew that he wasn't ready to spend time with other people just yet. She just hoped that he didn't do anything stupid to himself.
Ginny walked into her dorm. It was completely empty because everyone was gone for the holidays. For once she wouldn't have to worry about someone walking in on her cutting herself. Ginny reached over her bed and grabbed her jacket that she had just thrown off. She pulled her clean knife out of the right pocket.
She stared at her knife for a few moments. It was so pretty. Such a pretty thing didn't deserve to be stained with her blood. This wonderful item shouldn't be cursed to cut her flesh. But Ginny didn't really care. Right now she just wanted to spill some of her blood.
Ginny raised the knife above her left arm. She picked a part of her arm where there were already a bunch of cuts. She cut vertically down through all of the horizontal cuts and watched the blood start to pour out of the fresh cut. She brought the knife down again and pulled it down along her arm down to her hand. She watched as the older cuts reopened and started to bleed as well.
Ginny then turned her knife sideways as someone would when buttering a piece of bread. She brought it into her arm and carved a thin slice of her arm off. That stung like crazy but Ginny didn't care. She watched as the blood poured out of this fresh wound. Ginny set her eyes on the knife. The knife was now covered in skin and blood.
Draco spent a very long time cutting himself that night. After he had finally finished slicing open the backs of his knees, the bottoms of his feet and the inside of his elbows he cleaned everything up. He magically washed the blood out of his sheets, socks and mattress. Right after he had finished there was a tap at his window.
Draco turned to the window to see Telmar, his father's owl. Draco opened the window and let in the large, black creature. The animal dropped a thin letter at Draco's feet and flew back out the window. Draco closed the window behind him and sat back down to read the letter.
It read,
Son,
I'm coming up to the school this weekend. I want to see that you are developing properly. You mother also thinks that I should come and wish you a Happy Christmas. Your mother will not be accompanying me on this trip though. You had better be doing well in school and such. If you have gotten back into cutting yourself than you should be prepared for the consequences.
Father
Well, hey guys, that was chapter 11. I think I'm going to raise the rating up to R; it's gotten a bit more graphic than I suspected.
