Bewitched

Chapter 11

I thought maybe being with Paul would help me get over the dreadful feelings I was having. But I guess not. All the while I was with him, I could not stop thinking of Jesse. I did not want to be thinking about him, but that was all that I could think about.

About how I loved him so much it hurt.

I do not know how and I do not know why but I was suddenly deeply in love with him. It was not this gradual thing that everyone made it out to be.

Well, maybe it was, I just did not realize it until only a little while ago. But whatever it was, I hated it. I hated knowing that I felt something so great for him and he did not even return an ounce of it.

It just broke my heart.

Well, I guess my heart was not quite broken yet. Once he tells me that I am being foolish and he would — could — never love me, then my heart would split right in half and shatter at his ghostly feet.

But that's the thing. He is only a ghost. I did not understand why I had these feelings toward someone that is dead. Someone whom no one else can see, except for Paul and Father Dominic.

I just wanted it all to go away and for me to go back to my life again. I almost wished I had never even met him, never even tried to help him that day at the market.

I say almost, because if I had not met him, I would have never experienced what love felt like, however painful it may be.

So that night I went home and prayed to God. Prayed that everything just go away, everything to get better. I prayed that everything that was happening lately — the trials — to just cease.

But my prayers meant nothing, as I soon learned.

Because only a few days later, someone so near and dear to me was accused. Someone I never even thought would be accused.

My own mother.

When they came to take my mother away, to sit in the jail and be miserable, I just could not believe it.

Why her?

What did she ever do to anyone?

And, most of all, who was the rotten person that accused her? And what was their motive?

I practically jumped on the cart with my mom. If she was being sent away, then I should be too. I would stand next to her until the death if I had to.

But hopefully it would not come down to that.

When the judge pulled me off the carriage and made Andy hold me back, I noticed that David was crying. He was just as devastated as I was. If not, more.

She was not just my mom anymore, like it used to be back in England. She was David's, Jake's, and Brad's, too.

And she was Andy's wife.

I was being selfish.

However reasonable it was, I was being selfish.

I wanted to go and curl up in a ball somewhere, but I did not. I had to be strong.

For my family.

For David.

He needed comfort, assurances that everything would be all right. And giving him comfort in this time would give me the comfort I needed.

I watched tearfully as they took my mother away, along with two other woman and the local apothecary. I secretly wondered what he was accused of.

The last thing my mom said to me before I could no longer see her was, "Have faith, Suzie."

That I will. Even if my prayers were not answered.

After everything that has happened, she still believed that God was on her side, that he would save her from what was about to happen.

Inevitably, death.

Yes, I believed in God, but I did not believe he would save her from this.

I had to.

And I would, if it was the last thing I did.

This was no longer about me and my problems. It was about the life of my mother. And the lives of many other people.

- § -

That night I went to see Father Dominic. If anyone would help me with what was happening, it would be him.

I walked into the chapel with a no expression on my face whatsoever. I just expected it to be Father Dominic there.

But that's not what I came across. Not in the least.

Jesse was there. He was talking to Father Dominic. In hushed voices, too. I do not really know why. It is not like anyone else was there to hear them — or hear Jesse, for that matter, since there are not any other mediators in this town that I know of.

They both looked at me when I walked in. Jesse smiled at me and Father Dominic looked at me pityingly. If its one thing I hate, its pity.

I hate having people feel bad for me. No matter what has happened.

I did not return the smile to Jesse. I am sure there is enough explanation for that.

"Susannah," Father Dominic greeted me. "How are you this evening?"

"Do you even have to ask?" I said with no emotion.

I noticed Jesse's face fell, but I did not glance in his direction. "Susannah, I know what has happened, but everything will turn out all right."

I narrowed my eyes. "After everything that has happened, you still believe that it is going to turn out all right?" I shook my head. "No. It's not going to be all right. At least, not if I don't do anything about it."

He narrowed his eyes at me, but not in an angry way. More of in a scrutinizing way. "Susannah, what are you saying?"

"Father Dominic, I have to do something. If I don't, well, I'm sure you know what will happen if I don't."

He shook his head quickly, his white hair fluttering wildly. "No! Susannah, if they see you trying to aid one of the convicted they will convict you, too!"

I looked at him grimly. "Then so be it."