An eerie darkness had fallen over the Egbert home, and John and his dad suddenly felt that they were no longer alone in their home.

After the explosion from the meteor, John found himself alive and still standing on his balcony, apple in hand, but the surroundings had changed vastly.

His home stood isolated on a tall, lonesome cliff in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere. The sky was black, and below the cliff stretched into clouds and more darkness, with no bottom in sight.

It was at this point that the Kernel divided. The halves went their separate ways, one into the dark clouds below, and the other up into the sky, creating what appeared to be a series of strange blue portals above John's house leading further upwards. This left behind the Sprite portion.

'BOY.'

What was left of the Sprite underwent a mysterious transformation. The maimed harlequin sprite was now a full ghost-like figure, floating beside John.

For a moment, he thought he heard someone say "BOY," as if whispered in the periphery of his awareness.

It was probably just his imagination though.

'YOU THERE. BOY.'

John thought he heard the voice again, but continued to ignore it.

The Sprite was also attempting to communicate, but he still couldn't understand a word this idiot said.

Wondering where his dad was, John decided to walk around his house and see what had happened after the supposed transport.

When he entered the kitchen, Dad was nowhere to be found. There was only a strange black substance smeared on the floor.

John took his finger and ran it through the thick guck.

Was this…

Oil?

He wondered what happened in here. Where was his dad?

Wherever he went, he seemed to have left in a hurry; all his baking supplies had been left behind.

For all his absurdities John had to put up with, he sure wished he was here right now.

Heading outside, he noticed that the power to his house had been cut in the "move." Yet through some mysterious force, the house still seemed to be powered, even though the wires were severed. Quite bizarre.


'BOY. QUIT ALL THIS SCURRYING AROUND.'

For the last time, this boy's name is John!

'FINE. JOHN. RETURN TO YOUR QUARTERS.'

John went back up to his bedroom, tiptoeing around all the weird petroleum-based sludge that had found its way into his home.

'NOW JOHN. RESPOND TO YOUR FRIEND UNIT.'

TT: John?
TT: Are you there?

- tentacleTherapist [TT] is now an idle chum! -

EB: hey, yeah i'm here!
EB: and not dead i think.
TT: I know.
TT: I've been watching you scramble through the house like a lunatic.
TT: You should have answered me sooner.
EB: oh man, sorry, i was looking around for my dad and i can't find him anywhere!
EB: have you seen him?
TT: No. I'm sure he'll turn up.
TT: We have more important things to address right now.
EB: yeah, like where am i?
TT: I don't know that either. But I've determined your neighborhood was destroyed by the meteor. Wherever you were transported, it saved you from the impact.
TT: I've been reading reports in the news. Over the last few days, there have been many smaller meteor collisions with people's homes around the world.
TT: And they seem to be getting bigger. Yours was the biggest they've identified so far.
EB: wow, ok.
EB: so then i guess if this is all the game's doing, then the point is for us to save the world?
TT: Perhaps.
EB: then we'd better get moving and figure this game out!
TT: Yes, but wait.
TT: We should retrieve your PDA. Yet again.
TT: It will help to keep tabs on each other while you investigate.
TT: I think I can get you closer to it, if I can replenish our grist supply somewhat.
TT: There may be a way to recycle some that we already used.
EB: ok.
TT: I'll meet you out on the balcony.
EB: wait, rose! one thing...
TT: What?
EB: you never even wished me a happy birthday!
EB: um... hello?
TT: I was working on something to send you, but I was running late with it.
TT: I didn't want you to think I believed meager well wishes alone would suffice for the occasion.
TT: That said, happy birthday, John.
EB: haha, oh jeez, that is silly!
EB: anyway, thanks!

'FIRST, TAKE THE FABRIC ITEM ON THE FLOOR THERE.'

John got up from his desk and looked at the towel lying on the floor behind him.

Why the towel?

Oh well, the "voice" was the boss. John captchalogued the towel. What now?

'DO AS THE PURPLE TEXT SAYS. TO THE BALCONY.'

John made his way to the balcony per the awkwardly worded request.

'WAIT. TAKE THAT. THE BLUE WOBBLY THING.'

He whimsically decided to captchalogue the totem which was used to create the apple tree earlier, and had remained in the Alchemiter until now.

'JOHN. RECYCLE THE GRIST AS WAS DICTATED BY YOUR COHORT.'

But John could not do anything with the grist at the moment! That was up to the SBURB player.

'I SEE.'

At the controls, Rose went and deleted the Perfectly Generic Objects, restoring 6 units of Build Grist to the Grist Cache.

She then expended the grist to drag a new plank from the balcony in the direction of the PDA on its lone cliff.

'JOHN RUN ACROSS PRECARIOUS PLATFROM SWIFTLY.'

But it was a long way down from there, and John wasn't sure that was the best idea.

'BOY I SAID MAKE HASTE ON THE NARROW CATWALK!'

He shook his head fiercely. He was still very nervous about the idea, and the strident tone of the commands were starting to make him a little upset!

'FINE. PROCEED AS YOUR LEVEL OF COMFORT DICTATES.'

John cautiously walked within range of the PDA along the plank, until Rose was able to retrieve it and place it on the floor beside him, as the Sprite watched eagerly.

'NOW TAKE IT.'

He grabbed the PDA, launching one of the harlequin figures out of his deck and into the night.

He could kiss that one goodbye.

Unlocking the device, John noticed that the SERIOUS BUSINESS app was open once again.

The following matters have been submitted in a frank and forthright manner for pipefan413's judicious appraisal.

f fedorafreak – ?:?

ty all. report: most hats removed from danger. ties next.

f wellPressedAttire – ?:?

fedorafreak, you are in our thoughts, along with pipefan413 and his enviable collection of pipes.

f officeurchin1280 – ?:?

gl fedorafreak. salvage as many hats as is practical.

f fedorafreak – ?:?

neighboring house struck by flaming projectile. in light of fire hazard, evacuating house of all expensive garments.

f grayslacks66 – ?:?

pipefan413: status of health/wardrobe?

f wellPressedAttire – ?:?

Submitting inquiry of concern over cataclysmic event.
pipefan413 reply.

It looked like he wasn't the only one trying to locate his father after the disaster.