A Pocketful of Miracles

By Lillie Bell, Alicia Blade, and Kaitlyn Fall

Chapter Twelve

Raye swiped at her forehead as she stood. Her bangs parted beneath her fingertips, showing the small sheen of sweat beneath. The air conditioning was on full blast and it pounded against her face. She stood in its stream for a moment and let the air cool her to a much more reasonable temperature. Her hands fell to her hips. She looked over her progress as her hair danced in the artificial wind.

She had catalogued their Christmas inventory and placed it into the appropriate boxes. Next, the plan was to set out the boxes of after Christmas merchandise so that half of her job could be done and she wouldn't have to come in insanely early.

Her amber eyes scanned the labels on the boxes already on the shelves. Little hearts, candy canes (Chad had already made out the Christmas labels and she wasn't about to take the time to change them), four-leaf clovers, and easter eggs greeted her. She continued up the tall shelves and found a box labeled Dec-Jan. She groaned, her hand covering her eyes.

It was up two shelves taller than she was. I really wish Chad—, she bit her lip to stop herself from thinking. It was true Chad was easily tall enough to reach the box she needed and that this whole process would have been much faster with his help. Normally she didn't even break a sweat replacing inventory, but she hadn't had someone to share the workload with. Not to mention a man who liked to show her his strength and would gladly lift any box to any shelf. A small smile etched onto her face.

And then she thought of Serena and Chad in the mall. She was still fiercely jealous, but a few more hectic hours at work had led her to another realization. She wanted to be Serena.

Well, not the part where she was hopelessly in love with a guy who teased her constantly. Raye was happy not to be in that role. But she wanted to stand next to Chad the way her friend did. She wanted to laugh with him. Wanted to hold hands. Wanted to hear those goofy jokes he made not because he was a good joke teller—he was really, really bad actually—but because he was trying to make her laugh.

Raye sighed. "None of this is helping me get this box on that shelf." And once again she had to mentally yell at herself to focus. How many times had she zoned out today? How many times had she found herself missing Chad?

"Focus," she hissed. She stepped carefully over the sea of boxes on the floor. She was horrible at organizing them one at a time. Chad had always done it that way. One box full, one box on the shelf. Making her way to the step ladder in the corner, she could see why. These many boxes wouldn't pose much of a problem for his long legs, but for her they were nearly leaps to step over them. He had kept it neat and organized for her benefit. Her heart swelled.

She gripped the cold metal of the step ladder and headed back. The steps slammed into her back as she maneuvered her way back to where she wanted to be.

Right now, Chad would have taken the step ladder away and told her that his muscles were burning for some serious exercise. He would have pumped his fists or flexed his arms or gone full muscle model and pulled off his shirt. If he was really going for it, he'd pull his long hair into a ponytail. Raye would have to swallow her heart and she would be glad he didn't always wear it like that. Then he'd grab the boxes from her one-by-one and line the shelves. He would see when she was getting bored or tired or sad and he would make some stupid joke. A Mina-type joke where the whole thing is backwards. Something like "Why did the road cross the quail?" or "What do you call a lift with no eyes?" And she would try not to smile and he would guffaw like the crazy man he was.

Raye stepped uncertainly on the first stair. Her hands were too full with the box to wipe away the tears dripping down her cheeks.

Chad wrapped his arms around himself to keep out the encroaching chill. The lights along the walkway were starting to blink on as the afternoon fell into evening. He lamented the long summer evenings before everything fell in to darkness. It wasn't quite pitch black yet, but the sun was sending its last rays over the horizon. He went across the crosswalk and stepped onto the footbridge that ran above the downtown boulevard.

The Christmas lights dazzled him as he stood in the middle of the bridge drinking them in. Each lamp post had a glowing poinsettia just underneath its lantern. He pressed his elbows into the railing, leaning over to take in the long line of lights. The storefronts had laced lights of all colors and types, some blinking and some not, around their columns and doors. Green garlands twisted and red bows bloomed against the stone faces and white columns. Windows held small candle lights that winked through the frosted panes.

He closed his eyes and imagined it all encrusted in snow. His lips fell into a smile easily.

Something cold touched his hand. He refused to open his eyes, happy to envision the world wrapped in white just a little longer. A group of carolers stood at a street corner and he could hear the joyous music of the season.

Another bite of cold licked his arm. Then his other one was chilled. Finally, his nose was divebombed by something between solid and liquid. He jerked back in surprise, his eyes flying open. His jaw hit the ground.

Falling into the long street were perfectly formed snowflakes. Not rain, not sleet, but snow. He stared at them in disbelief. He put out his hands, collecting the melting flakes in his palms.

"No way. Serena's dream came true." And he laughed. Then he hoorahed and whooped and danced a little on the small footbridge. The other walkers paid him no mind for they had stopped, too, to watch as a thin blanket of white covered the city.

If it happened for Serena, maybe there's still hope for me, he thought. He felt warm with confidence and love.

He leaned over the railing, taking in the sight of the shops and the street and the snow falling over everything. He leaned farther, looking as far into the city as he possibly could. He was up on his toes, bent almost double over the railing, but he didn't care how precarious his position was. He drank in the reality as the street transformed into the picturesque winter wonderland he had imagined it could be.

Raye rubbed the blisters forming on her hands. Her feet ached as they clomped onto the cold pavement. Her cheeks burned where the moisture of her tears had collected. She dabbed at the last vestiges of wetness.

The chill of the night bit through her sweater. It had felt refreshing for the first few minutes, but as she made her way home it was beginning to freeze on her bones. She hefted up the big jacket in her arms. Chad had left it in his haste.

She sighed, thumbing at one of the patches. It was an old leather bomber jacket that had seen fewer good days than bad. He had been wearing it when Grandpa had found him and was rarely without it even in the summer. There were memories in it somewhere, of a life Raye never knew, and Chad kept them close to his heart for some reason.

She pressed her face into its folds. The leather bit at her cheek and neck. But it smelled musty and worn and like him. She breathed it in deep and she could hear his laugh, see the sparkling green eyes that were normally hidden beneath a fringe of dark brown hair, and feel his thick hands and gentle fingers as they pressed into her arms. She imagined what it would feel like being wrapped up by him and wasn't surprised at all when her heart ached for him.

She was such a fool.

She sniffled away the bite of tears. She was so tired of crying over him. It wasn't like she wasn't going to ever see him again. They lived with each other, for pete's sake. She would go home, order him out into the cold, and feel better. She was just suffering from a case of loneliness. It wasn't what she wasn't willing to say. She hardly could say she liked him, let alone the big L-word that had been looming in her mind all afternoon.

She shook her head, waiting on the crossing signal. There was no L-word involved. She straightened her spine, pushing the jacket down to a casual level. Raye was a strong, independent woman. She didn't have time or need for that feeling. But even as she denied it her heart twisted and turned as if fed poison. She felt its ache and swallowed it down. She was stronger than the need for this L-word.

Exuding confidence and solitary beauty, she stepped across the street and onto the footbridge. Two more blocks and she'd be home. Then she would get ready for Andrew's party—better late than never—and get on with her life. Life… that was the only L-word she needed.

But as took a few steps onto the bridge, those thoughts left her. There was Chad in the middle of the bridge. The people around him had stopped as though frozen in time. She watched him lean forward on the tip of his toes. He didn't even have a grip on the railing. And then a thought shocked her to the core and made her heart scream in agony.

He was going to jump.

And her pride didn't matter anymore. Her heart flew from its cage, unleashed in a desperate fury it bubbled through her limbs and sent her running at him. Her hands clawed forward, hoping to grasp some part of him either to save him from the fall or to fall with him into oblivion. Her escaped heart widened its wingspan and filled her vocal cords and mouth with a terrified scream.

"Chad!!"

She gripped his elbow and flung him around. He came unbalanced and they floundered against the railing. For a moment she really thought they were going to fall over together and it scared her how easily she accepted a fate tied to him. But he caught his balance and she fell against him and the thought of dying together flew away on the falling snowflakes.

She could feel where the skin had broken underneath her nails. She had to really think about loosening her grip on his elbow before her fingers obeyed. Slowly, the adrenaline from her heart receded and her rational side came back to the helm. She started to feel the world around her again. The thin fabric of his T-shirt against her cheek, her legs entwined with his, and the ache of the muscles in her hands. Her feet remembered the long day she had spent on them. She began to breathe again.

Chad's arms came around her gently. She felt his goatee settle onto the crown of her head. She gulped. He knew. He knew what she could not have admitted to herself.

"This changes nothing between us," she hiccupped. Just when had she started crying again?

"Are you saying that it's always been there?" She could hear his smile. His arms squeezed her lightly. It was only then that she noticed how gently he held her. He was giving her an escape. She could easily step out of his embrace now and prove that there really wasn't anything between them. But her pesky heart kept her feet rooted.

"I don't like you at all."

He chuckled and it rippled through his chest into her ear. She was amazed at the power of it. The sound left her completely at ease. She didn't have a care in the world while she was in his arms. Maybe she had been too quick to scoff at all those romance novels.

"Liar."

She didn't say no. She couldn't deny her feelings when he was running his fingers through her hair.

"Maybe a little."

He tilted her head back and she looked up into his bright green eyes. He wiped away the traces of her tears. He leaned down and touched their noses.

"Just a little?"

She pressed her lips together, refusing to admit anything. He pulled away from her and laughed. It was hearty and shook her a little but she felt the mirth seep into her. For once, she let the smile break through. She had always loved how easily he laughed.

Uh-oh. There was that L-word.

He nuzzled away her worried expression. "Say it."

"No." She turned away from him, but didn't push against him to separate them.

He kissed her cheek, soft and gentle, and her heart filled her so much that she couldn't feel her aching toes, or the biting cold, or the small snowflakes that were collecting on them.

"Come on." His voice was quiet. Intimate. She should have felt embarrassed but it felt like the most natural thing in the world. He stepped away from her and bent to grab his leather jacket. He looped it over his arm and brought his other arm to drape over her shoulders. She was happy for the contact. She snuggled into his side even though she wasn't cold at all. He steered them toward home. "You've got a party to get to."

She pressed her face into his side, feeling nervous and childish and all-together not at all like herself. She mumbled something and he had to lean down to hear it. He didn't catch it the first time.

"Come with me?"

He hugged her close as they turned down the block. His mouth pressed into the curve of her ear. The sweep of his breath sent shivers through her soul. "Like a date?"

She burrowed deeper and he smiled. He kissed her ear. Exactly like a date.

Life's a carousel, far as I can tell,
And I'm riding for free.
So if you're down and out of miracles,
I've got a pocketful of miracles
And there'll be miracles enough for you and me.


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