That's Why I'm Here
By LizD
Written July 2011
Chapter Twelve
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Booth was hours behind her – sixteen of them by time he was ready to call it a day. In that time the preliminary test of Scott Angel's DNA was a match to DNA found on Hailey Marcum. That was enough for Caroline. Angel would be charged with at least four counts of murder but as soon as the Jeffersonian tied him to Penny Lange's murder he would be charged with that too. She ordered that he be extradited to DC. Just because she was filing charges, Caroline did not let up on the team at the Jeffersonian; in fact she gave them their marching orders. They needed to get the proof to paint a picture of the crimes, to tell the story and prove to the jurors beyond a reasonable doubt that Scott Angel had kidnapped, sexually assaulted and murderer these fine young women. Even so, the pressure was off for immediate answers; they could work more methodically to get the definitive proof. That meant they could all go home and get some sleep for the night; all the squints at the lab had been hitting it pretty hard the past few days. Brennan stayed later than the rest, but she was home by midnight.
The U.S. Marshalls made the transfer and Booth waited to fly with them – no mistakes. Booth was set to arrive back in DC very late and then there would be the booking of Angel to oversee. Without much discussion, Brennan went to her home and Booth went to his. The difference of opinion of that morning was forgotten. They had spoken numerous times but it was mostly about the case. Their final conversation after the business was out of the way was a little stilted but that was probably more to do with being overtired than anything else. They spoke just before Booth boarded the plane.
"It is going to be very late when I get done," he said by way of explaining that he would be going home. He paused. "I'm taking tomorrow off." He paused again. "Can you?"
"I'll check with Cam. I probably won't be able to take the whole day, but maybe the afternoon."
"Does she know?"
"Cam? Does she know that we are having sex?"
"I would have phrased it differently."
"We have not spoken about it and there is nothing in her behavior or manner that would lead me to believe that she thinks anything is different between us."
Booth yawned.
"Will you be able to sleep on the plane?" she asked.
He laughed. "Probably not. Not riding in first class this time and I don't have a soft shoulder to sleep on."
She smiled thinking about him sleeping next to her as she worked on the way out. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said.
"Yes, you will. Sleep well."
They hung up; each was thinking that they wouldn't sleep as well as they had been sleeping.
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Brennan found that she was unable to focus on her work much of the day. She was easily distracted and replayed the discussion with Booth over in her mind. She wasn't focused on the content so much as Booth's attitude. He was doing the stuff he had been doing for year which got worse when he came back from Afghanistan and hasn't really completely gone back to the way it was. He was ... exasperated with her. There were times he was irritated, frustrated and annoyed - he always had been. But now he seemed to be exasperated; the sighing, the exhaling loudly, the eye-rolls were all signs that she was pushing him to a breaking point. It was only a matter of time before he broke. She didn't want to push him to that point, but she also didn't want to compromise her beliefs or opinions. This was one of the reasons why she never believed that she and Booth were compatible, and she had to believe that he felt the same way. They even agreed that they would not be compatible when they were stuck in the elevator. She tried to pacify herself with the knowledge that at the end of the night they did honestly say that they wanted to be together at some point in the future. Well what she had said was that she wanted to try to be together. He seemed to agree.
She remembered when he was with Hannah, or even Tess, but Hannah was fresher in her mind. He was happy. He was smiling. He joked and played with Hannah. She never saw him be anything but loving and kind to her and he never appeared to be irritated, frustrated, annoyed or exasperated with her. She had to grant that she was not with them twenty-four/seven. She didn't know much about how they met or what their relationship was like in Afghanistan. In fact she hadn't gotten a clear understanding what Booth saw in Hannah but it was clear that he enjoyed being with her. Brennan had to admit that being with Hannah was easy, but ultimately the encounter was not fulfilling, but that was Brennan. Clearly it was that way with Booth too. She was not a consolation prize. He asked her to come back to Washington, he moved her into his apartment and into their lives. He asked her to marry him. In all likelihood they would be married if Hannah didn't turn him down. Brennan really didn't understand that part either. Hannah's attempt at explanation would not hold up under scrutiny. In the end she had to accept that she didn't know everything about Booth and Hannah's relationship - or about Hannah herself.
Still, Brennan had never seen Booth smile that much when they were together - even recently. It was a concern.
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Booth finally got to his apartment some time after 2AM. He was in bed as soon as he dropped his bags and was asleep by the time his head hit the pillow. He woke up early in a good mood. When he realized he was awake he reached over to the other side of the bed looking for her. He knew she wasn't there, but there was satisfaction in knowing that she had been and would be again. He decided that he needed to hear her voice if he couldn't hold her in his arms.
"Morning, Bones," Booth said cheerfully when she picked up the phone.
"Morning." It was early but it was wonderful to hear his voice the first thing even if it was before the alarm. She was getting used to it. It wasn't the hello of people who knew each other well. It wasn't the hello of friends. It wasn't the hello of partners. It was the hello of a new lover - soft, sweet, sexy and typically meant more than just a greeting. She never allowed herself to enjoy the little things when she was involved in a sexual relationship or maybe there were never there to enjoy; like hearing the voice of her lover on the other end of the line first thing in the morning. It was nice with Booth; really nice.
"I missed you last night," he whispered in his low sexy voice.
"I'm still in bed," she said stretching and snuggling back into the pillows pulling the one he had used days ago against her chest.
"Is that an invitation?"
"Do you need an invitation?"
"It's nice to be asked," he admitted.
"Would you care to join me?"
"Oh yeah," he admitted. "But I have a different idea."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I don't want stealing a private moment between dead bodies to be the staple of our relationship. I mean it will be part of it because we're dedicated and time is not always our friend, but I think we deserve more than that, don't you? We deserve a little effort."
"What did you have in mind?" she was intrigued.
"Would you have dinner with me tonight ... my place ... say around seven?"
"Your place? Your apartment?"
"Yes, my apartment," he said looking around his dusty abode. "Best place in town … I know the chef … and very private."
"I'd like that."
"Good." He was pleased that she agreed so readily; a very good sign. "Is seven OK?"
"Seven is fine."
"Bring an overnight bag."
"Wouldn't that be presumptuous of me?"
"We are way passed that part, Bones."
"I'll see you tonight."
"I'll see you tonight," he repeated.
Booth ended the call with a smile that filled his whole face. Then he was hit with the list of things he needed to get done before seven. He needed to clean the apartment top to bottom, shop for food after planning a menu, get a haircut, cook the food, and set a mood. He imagined the scene: candles and flowers, soft music, great food, fantastic wine and some decadent dessert to top it all off. It was an evening that probably no one had ever planned for Temperance Brennan. He liked being the first with something for her. He hadn't done it often; two or three times in his life.
First things first. The apartment.
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Brennan was in the Bone room when Angela waddled in.
"Morning Sweetie, how late did you stay last night?"
"I left around midnight."
"Well I should have stayed with you." She placed her hands on her swollen abdomen, "Little Hodgins here kept me up all night. I can't wait to get this kid out of me."
"You are still three weeks away. It would be inadvisable -"
"Nineteen days," Angela corrected.
"I don't think you can be that precise."
"This kid is getting evicted in nineteen days ... ready or not."
Brennan smiled at her friend knowing that to speak reason to her was futile.
"So, did Booth make a booty call last night?" Angela struggled to get comfortable on the stool.
"Angela," Brennan frowned.
"Come on ... this is the best part. The beginning is when the sex is new and each time is exciting. You do it whenever and where ever you can. When Hodgins and I got together it was the best sex of my life." She stole a look out the door. "Don't tell Hodgins I said that."
"Wouldn't that be something he wants to know?"
"NO ... honey, no. It would imply that the sex we are having now isn't the best. Men have some pretty fragile egos." Brennan shrugged her acceptance of that theory. "So how is it?"
"Good." Brennan was a little embarrassed and pretended to be distracted with the work.
"Only good?"
"Great ... really great." She smiled a little thinking of the morning in Palm Desert. It was really great.
"Did you share a room on your little business trip?" She made elaborate air quotes around the expression: business trip.
"Officially no."
"Unofficially?"
Brennan smiled and kept focused on her work.
"That's the Booth I know and love." Angela got serious. "So really, is everything OK?"
"I have nothing to compare it to ... not really. This is new territory for me."
"Honey, Booth is not the first man you've had a relationship with."
"Speaking purely sexually that is true."
Angela grinned. "But you say it's great … with Booth?"
Brennan didn't want to speak about the encounters she had with Booth but had to agree that they were very enjoyable and yet she still felt that they hadn't shared a time where they were in top form – physically. She kept that last part to herself.
"If that smile on your face is any judge, they were a hell of a lot more than enjoyable."
Brennan shrugged a yes. "However, my previous experience with men has not prepared me for this relationship with Booth. This is more than sex."
"That's a good think, isn't it? I mean, you didn't love those other guys. You love Booth."
Brennan nodded. She had to admit something to Angela that was only skirting the edges of her mind. "I sometimes feel very uncertain." She paused trying to find the right way to express her concern. "In the past, I was not interested in a long term relationship. It was very easy to end when it became uncomfortable or there was a point on which we couldn't agree; I was not invested."
"You're invested now, right? I mean you want to work through those points with Booth. Don't you?"
Brennan nodded slowly. "Booth and I know each other so well; it's a matter of accepting personality traits in the other that were previously ignored or tolerated because we were only partners."
"That's true for any couple, sweetie - toothpaste, toilet seat, hogging the covers, snoring ... you have all that to look forward to. But as for how you see the world - what your true values are you are a matched set. And it won't get between you know but you know where the bodies are buried already - so to speak."
"Yes, I can see our partnership history would be an advantage."
"But?"
"I find that I second guess myself more than I ever have."
"You're not second guessing Booth, are you?"
"I believe that Booth is satisfied with the relationship at the moment."
"But?"
"But he will want more."
"That's good, isn't it? You want more too, right?" Just then Angela twinged and bent over holding her swollen abdomen. "Easy there Junior ... you've got the rest of your life to play soccer."
"Can I get you anything?"
"A time machine ... whoever said pregnancy was a beautiful experience has clearly never been pregnant."
"It's said that you will change your mind after the child is born."
"I'll get back to you on that."
"There is nothing I can do?"
"No ... no. I'm fine." She leaned back and exhaled the breath she was holding. "So back to you and Booth."
"I want a baby," Brennan blurted out.
Angela nearly laughed. "Still? With me as the poster child?" She laughed again. "Well that's more ... that's a whole lot more. Did you talk to Booth about it ... did it come up on conversation?"
"He is not opposed to the idea."
"I'm sure he has stronger feelings than that ... but he probably told you to shelve this idea for a little while, am I right?"
"Yes."
"I'm sure he wants to have a little time enjoying just being with you before it you add a little bundle of joy," she said sarcastically. "You still haven't gone on a date yet, or out of town on a romantic weekend - that didn't involve a dead body. You haven't even had a first fight yet – first fight as lovers, am I right?"
"We had a discussion yesterday morning before I left that he didn't classify as a fight but it was a disagreement."
"How do you classify a fight?" Angela was confused.
"He said that we didn't need make up sex for it."
Angela burst out laughing. "See, that is something else you can look forward to."
"He's making dinner for me tonight at his apartment."
"Way to go Booth."
"Why?"
"It's a thing ... a thing men do when they want to impress the woman they love."
"I don't understand."
"It shows how thoughtful and talented and caring a guy can be. He shops, he cooks, he lights candles, he buys flowers ... he is caretaking. It shows the woman what a good catch he is - it shows his feminine side. Don't tell Booth I said that. Look at is as a mating ritual and Booth is fluffing his feathers to attract you."
"Is that really necessary?"
"To get your relationship out of the bedroom it is. Don't worry, it won't last; it usually only happens at the beginning of a relationship - after they're sure you're hooked. They won't step ten feet near the kitchen or the grocery store afterward and flowers are for birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine's Day – if they remember." She smiled proudly. "Hodgins is the exception."
"It's clear how much Dr. Hodgins is committed to you."
"Yeah, I got myself a good one." She smiled at her friend. "So dinner at Booth's is good. Doesn't seem like him."
"I disagree. It is very like him. I know for certain he cooked for Hannah. Of course the dinner was ruined because they had sex first - at least on one occasion."
"Booth told you that?" Angela was appalled.
"No, Hannah did."
"I knew that your friendship with Hannah was not a good idea."
"It was not much of a friendship. She has not contacted me. She sent one email shortly after she left asking me about Booth, but she hasn't responded to me since. I stopped writing."
"You really wanted to maintain a friendship with that woman?"
"No," Brennan said honestly. "She may not have responded because I was very disapproving of her treatment of Booth."
Angela laughed. "What did you say?"
"I challenged her before she moved in with him about her commitment to a relationship with him. I told her that he would give himself to her completely."
Angela snorted a laugh. "And you were right - the more fool he."
"She assured me that she was as committed. Clearly she was not. I reminded her of that conversation and her assurance and told her that her treatment of Booth was unforgivable. I'm sure that had something to do with it."
"Ya think?"
"I do." She got a faraway look in her eye.
"What?"
"There are times that I still think that Hannah was a better match for Booth. That had she been able to commit to a life with him, that he would be happier with her."
"What?" Angela was shocked.
"He was happy with her. He smiled more. He laughed more." Brennan looked down. "He is not that way with me. He snaps and barks and rolls his eyes a lot at me in a very disapproving way."
"Oh, Sweetie." Angela was just about to launch into the hundred or so reasons why Brennan shouldn't think like that but they were interrupted by Cam and some matter of business. The only thing Angela was allowed to say was that Brennan should trust Booth. Brennan wanted to point out that she was taking her cues from Booth and she did trust him but that did not change her belief that Hannah was a better match for him. She had to wonder what Booth saw in her that was similar in any way to Hannah, similar enough to want the same type of relationship with both women.
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Booth was down on his knees with his head and arms in the oven scrubbing it out. It hadn't been cleaned since before he left for Afghanistan. He was dressed in his laundry clothes - the clothes that you save for the day you are doing laundry: shorts that were a little too tight, the tee shirt that was just too ripped to wear out in public. He also had a bandanna around his head and a pair of Keds that should have been thrown out years ago.
The living room was in complete disarray as he cleaned the rest of the house. He has started cleaning and he got carried away. A quick dust, running a vacuum and opening a window was just not going to cut it. So he cranked up the music and went to work. He cleaned out the closet in his bedroom and the drawers in the bureau (he left room for Brennan to keep a few things there). He stripped the bed, flipped the mattress and remade it with the best sheets he had: 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton, never been used. He dusted everything from the pictures on the walls to the items on the shelves. Once he was satisfied with that room, he moved on to the bathroom. He pulled everything out of his medicine cabinet and the shelf by the sink and scrubbed the whole room down until it was shiny and clean. He took down all the clocks on the wall, reset, dusted and rehung them. He pulled out the guest towels that he had stored away and hung those, an extra two for Bones. She liked two towels, one for her hair and one for her body. His bathroom was pretty small, but he made room for some of her stuff there too. It was time to move on to the kitchen. All cabinets were emptied and wiped down. If the sell by date was past its prime, it was tossed. If he didn't recognize it, it got tossed. The refrigerator had been pretty empty in the past few months, but it still got the Booth spring cleaning treatment; he need to make room for all Brennan's produce. He was about to move on to the kitchen floor, when he looked inside the oven. That stopped him. He wasn't sure when the last time he used his oven, but it needed cleaning badly.
He still had the walls and floor to do in the kitchen. There was more laundry to be done. He had been running up and down the stairs all day doing loads of laundry. Not everything was dirty, but if it had been sitting on the shelf for more than six months untouched, it got washed. Then he had to tackle the living room. That was going to be big. He wanted to pull up the rug and air it outside and put a good oil on the hardwood floors. It was getting late but he was moving at top speed. He was in a good mood and the music helped. It was up very loud which was a good thing as it drowned out his voice.
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Brennan was able to break free from the lab around lunch time and thought she would bring Booth some lunch. She heard the music from the street - it helped that all his windows were open. As she climbed the stairs she heard him singing along with the music. She sort of recognized the song as something her parents used to play but couldn't place the artist which might have been because Booth's voice was nearly drowning it out.
She walked into Booth's apartment as the door was wide open and saw the mess in the living room. There were boxes and bags on the floor. Some were filled with clothes others linens and other household items. On top of one of the boxes she saw a couple of blouses and a pair of heels. She recognized them right away; she had seen Hannah wear them. There was no reason for it, but she was unnerved by the memory of Hannah living with Booth in that apartment. Booth's place used to be as comfortable to her as her own home. How many times had Booth and Brennan had a beer, shared Chinese, talked, really talked in that space. The night Hannah moved in and Brennan, Cam and Angela came over to 'help' Brennan was forced to accept that she was not welcome there any time day or night like she had been. It was no one's fault but her own - she accepted that then and now - but it still hurt, then and now.
The lyrics of the song crept into her mind and sent it spinning in a direction that she couldn't control.
And if you can't be with the one you love, honey
Love the one you're with, Love the one you're with ...
Don't be angry - don't be sad
Don't sit crying over good times you've had
There's a girl right next to you
And she's just waiting for something to do ...
And if you can't be with the one you love, honey
Love the one you're with...
Love the one you're with...
Love the one you're with...
Love the one you're with...
Love the one you're with...
Love the one you're with...
Love the one you're with...
A pain gripped her and she wished she hadn't have come and would have left immediately but the music stopped. She looked up and saw Booth standing by the stereo.
"Hey Bones!"
She wanted to melt into the wallpaper.
