Chapter Twelve
"What exactly are you planning?"
Armin glanced up at Reiner. "I don't understand."
"Don't lie." Reiner balled his hands into fists. "You've been searching for something in those books. And now you've been 'reading' the same book for three days."
Armin slowly closed the book. Frankenstein was scrawled across the cover. "It's worth reading multiple times."
"Why?"
"It's about a scientist who makes a monster, then abandons it because it is ugly. So the monster exacts revenge on him for cursing him with life." Armin held out the novel. "Science created the titans, didn't it?"
"I'm not supposed to talk about it." Reiner clenched his jaw.
"I think you owe me," Armin said seriously. Anything to keep Reiner from looking at the bookshelf, at the carefully concealed hole behind it. At the tunnel to the edge of the village, nearly complete. If Reiner left him alone again once more, he could finish it.
"The first king's scientist," Reiner said at length. "Grisha Lucas."
Armin started. "Grisha?!"
"Turns out you don't age inside a titan. Ymir should have given you that information," Reiner said, crossing his arms.
"But she wasn't a shifter before," Armin pointed out.
"Valid."
"We know he escaped before the walls were built, that he eventually found us, the people for whom the serum hadn't worked fully – so we were titan shifters."
"Wait." Armin's eyes shot daggers into him. "How old are you?"
"Seventeen. I don't age during the few minutes I'm inside my titan, that's it."
"And he left because you wanted to attack the walls?"
"Something like that."
Armin frowned. "He went to scout for you, didn't he? To, what, see if we were still worthy of life? And then you realized he wasn't coming back, so you attacked."
"We wanted the Coordinate," Reiner insisted. "To save the titans, which you mercilessly slaughter, and stop this mess."
"No," Armin said angrily. "When fifteen meter giants approach you and try to eat you, sometimes you don't have time for anything but violence. That's a tragedy, Reiner, but it isn't our fault."
"I know." Reiner scowled. "Do you honestly think I spent five years inside the walls without realizing that?"
"But you still came back. Why?"
"What choice did I have?" Reiner looked like a lost little boy. Armin wanted to cry for him.
"So you kill us because our memories aren't sufficient?"
"We kill you because your memories can never be restored. We don't need anyone under the First king's ideology, whatever it is."
"You don't even know what it is. You're as bad as you think we are," Armin said.
No judgment, just facts. And pity, from the blue saucers on his face. Reiner wanted to die.
He wouldn't confront Armin about barely concealed tunnel he'd dug yet. Maybe not ever. Let that be the one mercy he could show his friend.
"You seem cheerful." Hange nudged her horse closer to Levi.
He glared at her.
"You're afraid for Erwin."
"I'm not afraid."
Hange narrowed her eyes. "Funny, because aren't you the man who cried when he lost an arm and threatened him the last time he left?"
"Hange!" Levi glanced behind them. Fortunately, Eren seemed too distracted to have noticed.
But Annie Leonhart, that brat, was giving him the tiniest of smirks. He glared back.
"Sorry," Hange said.
"Think before you speak, Four-Eyes."
"I was trying to comfort you. I know you love him. I do, too. He'll be okay. Mikasa is young, but capable."
"We need to focus on helping Historia," said Levi. His shoulders slumped. He was too harsh on Hange.
"Levi," she said softly. "Don't worry about it."
Her smile spoke more comforts than a thousand hugs.
"Look," Sasha said, as the long shadows of approaching nightfall covered them. "Don't you think it's strange we haven't seen a single titan?"
"Of course," Connie said uncomfortably.
"It's really not," Saskia replied quietly, focused on the next ridge ahead. "Zeke thinks he is trapping us. I'm sure he's paved the way, in the hope that the Coordinate arrives in his clutches safe and sound."
Bertolt shook his head from his position tied to Mikasa. She really had changed. Saskia was in love with the Humanity's Commander and fully on the side of the walled.
If they won, if the Survey Corps were defeated, should he help her escape? Should he tell Zeke?
Her eyes met his, caring and brilliant and colorless. She really wouldn't judge him either way.
No, not Saskia; he couldn't betray her. One of the few who loved him.
His eyes roamed the ridge. She was right; no titans –
Something caught his eye, to the left, directly in the path of the setting sun.
The Quadrupedal Titan.
He clamped his mouth shut, but he couldn't quite look away. Maybe she would see his direction, maybe she could alert them – but he wouldn't be the one to do it.
"That titan spy," Mikasa hissed, following Bertolt's gaze.
Saskia cursed. "Sarah."
"Who the fuck is Sarah?" Flocke queried.
"Zeke's mother."
"Thank the walls," Historia breathed, grabbing Levi's hands.
"Your Highness," he said. Still strange to see the meek, shy girl as queen.
""Thank the Walls? You sound like a goddamn Noble," Eren scoffed.
"Shall I say 'thank the titans' instead?" she shot back. He grinned in response.
"I'm surprised to see you two here," Ymir added, her gaze lingering on Annie.
Annie bit her lip to keep from dropping Marcel's name.
"Wasn't my decision," Eren admitted.
"Wait, Jaeger's following orders? Squad Leader Hange, what kind of scientific personality swap did you conjure up?"
"Shut up, Ymir." Eren turned blood red as Historia and Jean dissolved into giggles.
"Shut up yourself."
"I like you," Levi told Ymir.
"Captain!"
"Jaeger! You're off with Hange to figure out that damn medicinal serum. Jean, you're with the female titans and the Queen."
"Technically, Ymir's titan's not female," Eren said.
"You know what I mean."
"You're just mad because Levi found out about you and Mikasa's snogging sessions," Annie said lightly.
Jean's face took a melancholy dive not missed by Historia. First Marco, now Mikasa were out of his possibilities. She wanted to hug him, but as Queen, should she?
"This sounds fun," Ymir said, her eyes wide.
"Later. I believe we have a city in chaos and a titan army to heal while stopping their genocidal leader," Levi said.
"Got it." Hange was already dragging Eren away.
"Do you know where the labs are?" Historia called. "It's a maze down there!"
"Of course!" Hange waved. "We'll be fine."
"We're totally getting lost," Eren muttered.
Shouts rang out above the library.
Armin tensed. "What's happening?"
"How should I know?" Reiner's heart thudded. Bertl…
How horrible, that what would save Bertolt would kill his other friends. Poor Armin.
"You're such a rebel," Reiner said suddenly. "Never doing what you were ordered."
"What?" Armin scrambled to his feet. "What are you saying, Reiner? You're a Warrior!"
"And you're a sneak, locking the door behind you," Reiner yelled, leaping up the ladder and making sure to slam the trapdoor shut behind him.
"His mother?" Mikasa's eyes narrowed. This cruel spy was nothing like Carla.
Not that Eren was much like Carla, either, except in looks. Still, she'd helped decimate the Survey Corp, and Mikasa hated her for it.
"Yes. She's very loyal to him," Saskia recalled. Sarah desperately hoped that her loyalty and usefulness would save her estranged relationship with her son, but that was impossible. "Our plan doesn't matter if she reaches Zeke first."
"She will," Erwin said, eerily calm.
So, he had a plan. Fine. Saskia yearned to trust him, but he wasn't aware just how manipulative Zeke could be.
Saskia scanned the horizon one more time. "She's moving too slow."
"What does that mean?" Mikasa asked sharply.
"I think you know."
"Distraction!" Connie shrieked as sudden roar broke out behind them.
Three titans burst through the forest and dove towards them.
"Stay back," Erwin commanded Saskia.
"Wait!" Saskia clapped a hand over her mouth. "No – they're not shifters – Sarah led them to us –"
"I've got this, Commander. Saskia, look after Bertolt." Mikasa tossed her a blade and flew towards the titans.
Erwin's eyes narrowed. "Zeke has us trapped, doesn't he."
"Well, the good news is his plan's not to eat us, as long as Eren might be here," she replied.
Perfect.
Her eyes widened. He'd been planning on capture this entire time. Brilliant, as long as you've got a way out.
Her heart stopped. Zeke will see me again, and I'll be much worse than a traitor.
Erwin. She should have told him.
Erwin saw that she knew, she knew that this was his play all along. Would she judge him for it? Hate him?
This was what he was, he thought as Mikasa brilliantly slew each titan. He endangered people to win for humanity. Now she experienced his shame.
"What do you mean, he locked himself in?" Zeke strode towards the center of town, torch in hand.
"I was distracted! It's my fault," Reiner lied.
Zeke scowled. "In that case, it's good we have our second plan."
"Which is…?"
Zeke thrust the torch into Reiner's hands and knelt down. He knocked on the trapdoor with eerie politeness. "Armin, darling, I would come out sooner rather than later. We've captured all of your friends, and you wouldn't want them to be eaten, now, would you?"
Reiner held his breath. Armin, you better have escaped.
But then the trapdoor opened.
Armin, what are you doing?!
"I won't hurt my friends," Armin said, with a glance at Reiner. That includes leaving you.
No, that's not what he meant. Reiner brushed the notion aside.
"You won't need to yet, seeing as your friend Eren's chosen to hide like his father," Zeke replied, taking him by the arm. "Still, I think we have a welcome reunion coming for you."
Are you afraid? – Is this who you want to be? Bertolt wondered as Saskia gingerly aimed the blade towards him. He could see the reluctance in her eyes, recognized the plea for forgiveness.
I want to, he thought. I just don't know if I'm allowed. Zeke wouldn't like it.
The agony in Saskia's face was palpable as Mikasa wove out and about, dodging at the last possible second. Why did every triumph for humanity have to ruin a titan?
"We're damned," Bertolt mumbled to Saskia.
"I refuse to believe that," Saskia whispered back. "For you, or me."
As the last titan's steaming corpse crumbled, Mikasa saw a strange glint from the trees.
Sasha noticed Mikasa's tense posture. "Mikasa, what –?"
Two dozen warriors – they had to be – leapt down from the trees.
"Mikasa!" Sasha shrieked. Zeke not only planned to capture them, but to kill the strongest!
Saskia gasped barely scrambling off her horse as a knife flew into its heart.
"No!" wailed Sasha. On instinct, she dove off her horse and hit its rear end. Run and live!
"You idiot! We need horses!" Flocke yelled as Connie followed Sasha.
"It would die!" Sasha insisted as Flocke's steed fell.
Erwin, meanwhile, had calmly stepped off his horse.
Bertolt grabbed for Saskia – he could yank off her jacket, rescue her – when the first warriors approached them. Saskia turned her gaze towards Bertolt, hiding behind her loose braid as best she could. The agony in her eyes killed him.
"Bertolt Hoover."
"Y-yes," he stammered.
"Where is Saskia Leonhart?"
Saskia's eyes widened. Edwin didn't recognize her in her Survey Corp gear, but it wouldn't take long. He had never been the most observant, anyway. Still, she kept her face angled towards the ground. She had to act like them again, but then Erwin would know, and oh, she was tired of acting.
"They kept her in case we planned something like this," Bertolt replied, to Saskia's horror.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions," she had once read. Bertolt, you fool.
In the distance, Mikasa howled as one of the warriors pointed in the direction of her captured friends. This was no choice.
Her blades dropped from her hands.
The knots around their wrists were tied tight enough to cut off blood circulation as titan shifters marched into the Hometown, their captured enemies nestled in their steaming palms.
Saskia kept her face pressed against the hot skin, hoping to scald herself unrecognizable.
"You'll, uh, be okay, I'm sure," Flocke whispered to her. Erwin's lone wrist was tied to Mikasa, both of them in someone else's hands.
"Erwin had this planned," assured another soldier whose name escaped Saskia.
"He should have told us," Flocke snapped. "He's as secretive as the Warriors."
"Don't compare the two of them," Saskia said sharply. Oh, whispered her mind, but Zeke and Erwin will be comparing each other soon enough.
Erwin'd expected capture; he'd have to have foreseen her pretending she'd tricked the Survey Corp. But he hadn't foreseen her true relationship with Zeke, or Bertolt complicating everything with his well-intentioned lies.
"Then stop doing that to yourself." Flocke did not appreciate her trying to hurt herself. He understood why, understood she was a traitor, but this was not okay.
She winced and drew away from the titan's skin, almost relieved at his command. It would happen anyway.
Edwin's titan suddenly released them, and the sky seemed to rain half a dozen soldiers.
Saskia didn't dare look up, not even to see Erwin. She was exposed enough.
Please, just look at me and see the enemy. Wasn't that what they'd always done, anyway?
Maybe Dad was here, seeing his shame. Two daughters captured. Two daughters working for the enemy. One an adulteress slut.
"Bertolt!" Reiner raced up to them. In the distance, Edwin and other titans dissolved into smoke.
He looks like a child, Erwin recognized.
The two spies embraced, Reiner sniffling with abandon.
Bertolt, however, was more composed. They had a mission to complete, and it wasn't Zeke's.
"In here." A grizzled old woman, with more wrinkles than her age and eyes brimming with long-dried tears, gestured for them to follow.
Sarah, no doubt. Erwin glanced at Saskia and she gave him a curt nod, understanding the question without words.
He would protect her.
Edwin opened the prison cabin door, the door Ymir had so often been chained to.
As they filed inside, Bertolt watched nervously. If Armin were really alive…
"Armin!" he heard Mikasa screech.
Armin! His own heart echoed. Armin was here, alive, safe. He wanted to rush in and see for himself, to beg forgiveness. You were always so kind to me.
Almost automatically, Bertolt untangled himself from Reiner and glided towards the cabin. Reiner followed, hoping against hope that Armin could love Bertolt even more than him.
And he could.
Armin's eyes widened at Bertolt's shining eyes.
I forgive you, he wanted to say as Mikasa crushed him with a hug. Hopefully – as Connie and Sasha dove towards him – Bertolt understood.
Tears finally choked him, and a gentle hand from Reiner led him away. "We need to talk."
"You – you have no idea," Bertolt sobbed.
"Where's Eren?" Armin breathed at last into the stuffy, crowded cabin. Weird, to have a welcoming reunion in captivity. But, given Erwin's calm expression, this an wasn't unanticipated capture.
"He's off investigating something with Levi in the Capital," Sasha chattered. "We didn't want to bring him into Zeke's hands."
"Good thinking," Armin told Erwin.
"Did they hurt you?" Mikasa's face twisted.
"What? – No, well, technically they healed me. And they gave me history books, all of them, more than the Palace's library," Armin explained. An unfamiliar woman in the back took on a wry smile, as if she knew of what he spoke.
"Who are you?"
She glanced behind them, at the shut door, just to be sure Zeke wasn't here, wasn't listening. "My name is Saskia. I'm Annie's sister."
"You're helping us." Armin's eyes widened. He had beautiful eyes.
"Yes," she confessed. "And so is Annie, now."
"Annie's okay?" Armin felt as if he could fly. His betrayal hadn't caused her death after all.
"Yes, lover boy," she said.
"W-what?"
"You really had no idea, did you?" Sasha shook her head.
Erwin eyed Saskia. First them, Eren and Mikasa, now Annie and Armin? The Corps had their fair share of drama after all. He usually pretended not to notice.
"I mean – I know she spared my life when she killed everyone else … " Armin wasn't ignorant, but Annie's feelings had never seemed possible.
"She thinks you're a good person. I'm supposed to keep you safe, or she'll eat me." Saskia shrugged. "Or so she said when we left."
"I'm not a good person." Armin stared at the ground. "Commander, I'm sorry for getting captured."
"It's not your fault," Mikasa said.
"You're a valuable soldier, Arlert," Erwin said. "I'm glad you are alive."
Armin reddened at the praise. I don't deserve it – I'm a titan.
"Saskia," said Erwin, regret in his eyes. If only they could speak in private, so his troops wouldn't have to pretend.
She knew what he was asking, although he really didn't. I forgive you, her eyes said back as her hand brushed his empty sleeve. She could do this. She was more than willing to help. She could crawl back to Zeke.
Before she could act, the door flew open.
"Well, well, well. Commander, looks like you've failed." Zeke crossed his arms. "A bit disappointed that Levi isn't here to join us."
"Why, so you could trap him, too?" Mikasa spit. Sasha grabbed Mikasa's arm preemptively.
"Ackerman," Erwin warned. To Zeke he added, "Perhaps we should talk together, two commanders."
"I don't think so. You have to die, no matter what." Zeke shook his head.
Coward, Saskia thought furiously. Or maybe she was furious at herself. Who knew?
Bertolt and Reiner hurried up behind him. Bertolt looked terrified; Reiner, confused.
Now.
Erwin opened his mouth again, but Saskia cut him off.
"Zeke."
For a moment, Zeke's mouth hung open. "Saskia," he whispered tenderly.
Sasha shot a worried glance at Mikasa. Something was wrong.
"Why are you dressed like that?"
"What else could I do but pretend? Otherwise, they'd have killed me to have one less hostage," she said, with an alarming amount of emotion.
"You've been lying all this time?" Connie burst out.
"Of course," she snarled.
Zeke whirled around to Bertolt. "You said – did she trick you, too?"
Had she? Oh, he hoped so. Sort of. But Erwin … "I … I suppose so."
He looked to Reiner. That was the right reply, right?
Reiner froze as Zeke's eyes hardened. That was not the right reply.
"Then why lie about her being here? Did you pity her when you thought she was our enemy?" Zeke growled.
"N – no, sir. It – it was just hard to see her as an enemy, and I couldn't be sure either way," Bertolt stammered. Sweat poured down his face.
"She must have done a good job convincing you." Zeke looked at Saskia with approval before whirling back around to Bertolt. "We can't have soldiers who can't see who our enemies and allies are."
"I had to fool him, too. There just wasn't an opportunity to speak alone," Saskia said, shooting Erwin a glare.
She was lying, Erwin knew, but it still hurt. Somewhere deep inside him, a voice whispered insisted she'd been playing him all along.
Reiner noticed the pulse hammering in her throat when she looked at Erwin. So Bertolt was right. God damn it.
"Must have been hard to convince them," Zeke said sympathetically.
"Very," she said.
His wife – his calm, stoic wife – she was changed.
His heart sank. No. Please.
Zeke's hand caught her cheek so fast Saskia flew backwards into the wall. "Oh!"
"You're talking now, I see. Must be why we didn't recognize you." He reached out and grabbed her arm, running his fingers down the Wings of Freedom embroidered on her jacket.
She swallowed and forced herself to see the pain in his eyes. He was an ass, but she had hurt him.
Maybe he was testing her. "War Chief –"
"I don't know who you thought you were betraying, but it certainly wasn't them!" he gasped. He drew a knife, and suddenly she knew, just knew he was going to transform and kill her right then.
"S-sir!" Bertolt cried, grabbing Reiner's hand. "Wait; that would be a mistake."
"How so? I think it'd be rather satisfying," Zeke lied.
Bertolt glanced at Erwin. I'm sorry. "B-because Commander E-Erwin here is in love with her."
Saskia's heart fell. No, no, no. She wasn't sure whether to feel elated that Bertolt cared or horrified that Zeke knew.
"You could use that to get him talking," Bertolt continued, shaking.
Erwin's face remained stoic. If she was too emotional, he was too stoic.
Zeke laughed. And laughed. And laughed. "Is that so, Commander?"
Erwin's gaze flitted to her face and back. "She was a valuable hostage. She means nothing to me."
"Hmm." Zeke held the knife against Saskia's throat and pressed ever inwards. "So if I cut her veins right now, you wouldn't care?"
Erwin scowled. "I don't wish for someone innocent to die."
"I see." Zeke pressed the knife further into her throat. Blood began to trickle down her white skin. "You think a warrior is innocent."
Suddenly, his hands yanked back her braid, exposing the pulsing veins in her throat.
Saskia knew she should want to die, to free Erwin and spare Zeke, but she realized – with shame – she finally knew what the desire to live tasted like.
Zeke chuckled at the telltale twitch in Erwin's jaw. "Ah, ah, ah. I think I'll trust the Warrior who didn't betray us."
He nodded towards a clearly relieved Bertolt.
No, Saskia wanted to scream.
"Did you hurt her?" Zeke tossed Saskia aside and pounced on Erwin, raising the knife. Saskia dove forward, but Reiner lunged into the cabin to hold her back.
"I would never," Erwin responded with enough force that Zeke actually believed him.
Zeke turned to Saskia, turned to ask if that was true, when another possibility occurred to him.
"But." Though he dropped the knife, his tone became sharper than Levi's sword. "Saskia, dear, do you return his feelings?"
His hand slithered around her waist as Reiner stepped back. "Are you in love with him?"
Saskia stared at the ground. Her silence would be answer enough. Instead, she wanted her last words to be something he needed to hear. "He is a good man."
His arm tightened, forcing her breath out. "Does he know who you are?"
Then Saskia found herself thrown onto her knees before Erwin.
"Does he?" Zeke fumed.
She shivered, and the composed, crystalline girl Erwin knew began to break into shards.
"Does he?" Zeke roared.
"No," she said as tears streamed down her face.
Bertolt's wild gaze met Reiner's. He hadn't meant this!
Shit. Reiner's stomach twisted.
"Tell him."
Saskia was trembling nonstop. It hurt, it hurt so much, and she had caused this.
"You're going to tell him exactly who you are," Zeke spat. His hands held her down.
Saskia let out a broken sob. She was shattered, completely shattered.
She'd changed, Reiner realized. A warrior was now a human. Not a soldier, just a human.
"Ask her," Zeke commanded Erwin.
His heart hammered. She could shift after all? "Saskia."
She wanted to reach out and touch him, but she didn't dare risk or defile him. "Erwin."
Erwin was afraid to breathd. "Who are you?"
"Look him in the eyes," Zeke whispered. "Look!"
Firelight sparkled off her tears. Even now, she was beautiful.
Her mouth opened, but she took a full minute to prepare the words between sobs.
Armin met Reiner's eyes, knowing the answer and wishing it were anything else.
"I'm his wife."
For a moment, Erwin was almost relieved. She hadn't helped kill anyone. She wasn't a titan in hiding.
But then he remembered his lips on hers and that she hadn't said anything, anything at all, to indicate she was married. How many secrets could she have?
"Adulteress." Zeke slammed his foot between Erwin's thighs.
Sparks of pain flew through the commander's sight, and he doubled over.
"It's me, it's my fault," Saskia pled frantically.
"Yes. Yes it is." Zeke spat. How could he have loved her, shared dreams and body with her?
His foot collided with Erwin again, and again. The bastard who'd stolen everything –
Reiner pointed frantically at Mikasa, and it took the full strength of Armin, Sasha, Connie, and Flocke to pin her back.
He was out of control. Saskia swallowed her pride and scrambled to her feet, planting herself between Zeke and Erwin. "You will stop!"
Zeke paused.
"You will stop right now, and blame only me," she commanded. Her eyes blazed grey fire.
Zeke had never seen her like this. Shrewd and brilliant, yes, but commanding? Saskia had no presence. He loved her for it.
"I do."
"Th – thank you."
"You can come home anytime. When you're done with your lover." He stormed out.
Saskia stared at the floor. She couldn't go back home. That wasn't home. She'd never had a home.
She knew what she had to do. There were two things. But she couldn't do the first. She couldn't ask Erwin's forgiveness, not if she would do the second.
"You don't have to," Armin said.
Saskia stared at him, the wonderful boy Annie loved. "Yes, I do."
She walked out after Zeke.
