To the Morrow, For the Past

Chapter 12 – A New Fight –

They didn't have to wait long for Hojo to strike again. It took less than a week.

True to their word, both Sephiroth and Zack had stuck by Cloud. It was sweet, he had to admit, but Cloud was getting a little tired of never having a moment to himself. Zack had taken it upon himself to make sure that Cloud was never alone – including at night. He'd invited himself over for "sleep overs" and had slept on a futon in Cloud's small room, taking his duty as protector seriously.

For a man who valued his privacy, it was getting a little too much and Cloud suddenly felt the need to let off some steam. The training room would be a perfect way for Cloud to fight something without risking either himself or his over enthusiastic shadow, so one morning Cloud dragged Zack with him and had him set up a simulation.

After Meteorfall, this sort of technology had been lost and Cloud had never had anything to do with it beforehand, so he had no idea how to set up the parameters. Which was probably one of the reasons that he didn't notice that something had gone wrong right away.

They were supposed to be fighting mid level monsters. Something that would challenge Zack and let Cloud fight by autopilot. There were a few simulated lower level SOLDIERs and monsters that Cloud could destroy with ease and that would pose only a light challenge for Zack when suddenly something new came along.

There was a mighty roar and a loud crash, Cloud finished off the hound he'd been fighting and turned to the source of the noise. Zack had chosen Midgar for the location of the simulation, which made finding the newest threat more difficult. It was coming from behind a building in Loveless Avenue and Cloud didn't hesitate before heading towards it. He needn't have bothered.

The archway above the entrance to the street exploded sending shrapnel and dust into the air. Cloud barely lifted his arms in time to shield his eyes and when the debris had finally stopped falling, he removed his arm to look up at the new enemy.

Deja vu struck him as his eyes locked on to the beast before him. Bahamut Sin stared back at him. Shit. That thing had been hard enough to beat with the help of his friends. What the hell was it doing in this simulation!?

Without thinking, he snagged the back of Zack's uniform, threw him behind him, and took a defensive stance. "Stay back." He ordered. "This thing is strong." He checked his sword, making sure that all the pieces were where they were supposed to be before rushing at the enemy.

It was smaller than the other one, maybe around half the size. Did summons grow? That was a question for another time, right now, he needed to concentrate on the battle ahead. Without his friends to help him, he needed a new strategy.

The beast took to the sky, rearing back and a blast forming in its mouth. There. That was his opportunity. With a leap, he landed on the rubble of the ruined archway and pushed off, launching himself at the creature. He had to use First Tsurugi to redirect a lesser beam attack, sending it flying to his left. This time, he didn't have to worry about collateral damage which made things much easier. The only other person that could get hurt here was Zack, and Cloud could trust him to hold his own while Cloud took care of things in the artificial sky.

He reached the apex of his jump, time seeming to slow down as he flipped in the air, bringing his sword over hid head to land an ineffective blow on Bahamut's head. It didn't do anything more than distract it from gathering energy but Cloud used the momentum to bring him up onto the beasts back. Planting the main blade into the neck, he separated his sword. He used the hand on his main blade to swing him down while he brought the other up, slamming it directly into the summon's open mouth.

Following through with his momentum he let go of the main blade and followed the smaller one into the mouth.

Things were silent for a moment. Nothing moved. Then the top of Bahamut Sin's head exploded from within. Cloud landed on it's back and retrieved his main sword, slotting the smaller piece back into place before jumping back - landing not too far from Zack - in order to watch the creature fall. That had been a lot easier than he'd expected.

"Woah..." Zack moved up to join him, his eyes wide as he stared at the fallen creature.

Once he was sure that it wouldn't get back up, Cloud turned his attention to his sword frowning as he realized that there was no gore clinging to the metal. Of course. This was a simulation. Why would he need to clean his sword. Still, he inspected it for damage. Bahamut's scales had been solid and in reality he should have found new nicks in the blade. There was nothing.

"What was that?" Zack's question caught Cloud's attention.

"A bad memory." He muttered. "It shouldn't have been here." He put his blade on his back. "End the simulation." He ordered and Zack didn't need telling twice.

Midgar dissolved around him and the training room came back into focus. Behind the glass partition, Cloud saw Hojo watching the computer banks with glee.

"It was another one of his tests." He told Zack. "Probably wanting to see my power." He itched to draw his weapon, to run it through Hojo a third time, but he refrained. For now. Instead, he spoke louder, making sure that Hojo would be able to hear him, but also making it seem like he was just talking to Zack.

"If someone wanted to see my abilities, they'd be more than welcome to challenge me." His eyes never left Hojo who was practically bouncing, reading whatever data was showing on the screens.

Right. Cloud had a plan now. He lifted his sword and marched into the observation room, ignoring Zack's squeaks of protest. Bypassing Hojo, he brought his blade down – directly into the computer banks. They sparked and the room fell into darkness for a second before the emergency lighting took effect.

"You weren't invited." He told Hojo as he walked past him, sheathing his sword.

– – – – –

He managed to wait until he and Zack were back in his room before giving in to the rising panic. His limbs were shaking, his heart thumping, something was caught in his throat and he couldn't breathe. Suddenly he was too heavy for his legs to hold him and they collapsed under him.

Vaguely he could hear the door close behind them and Zack's cry of shock. The young man was by his side in an instant, his hand on Cloud's shoulder. "Cloud!"

He wanted to reassure the other SOLDIER, to tell him that everything would be fine and that he'd recover, but words just weren't coming out. He struggled against the lump in his throat. He was getting dizzy.

"Cloud man, breathe!" Zack's hands were on both shoulders now, he was knelt in front of him. Cloud lifted his head to look at the SOLDIER, focusing on his eyes. He gulped in a breath. He knew how to do this. He concentrated on slowing his breathing down, taking a breath, holding it and letting it out, making each successive breath longer.

He didn't know how long it took for him to calm down, he just kept up with his breathing, thankful that this time he hadn't had any flashbacks.

"I'm okay." He told Zack with a shaky voice.

Zack sat back on his heals and stared at Cloud for a moment. "You can take down, whatever that beast was, no problem, but seeing Hojo does this to you?" His eyes filled with anger, "Did he do something to you?"

Yes and no. Cloud would never truly be rid of the trauma he'd faced at Hojo's hands, but at the same time, this wasn't the same Hojo. How could he refuse to blame Sephiroth or his son for the things they had done in their future, but still insist on blaming Hojo for his future actions against Cloud?

He shook his head, "Not... him." He muttered. Gaia he was tired. He let out a long breath and raised a hand to his face. "I could do with some water." He told Zack.

In an instant his young friend was on his feet, practically sprinting to the small fridge in the corner of the room. He retrieved a bottle of water and handed it to Cloud.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Happens sometimes." Cloud had repositioned himself to lean against the nearby wall, his sword digging into his back.

"Okay..." Zack didn't sound too convinced, but he sat beside Cloud anyway, "Now we can talk about the real important thing."

Cloud turned his heavy head to regard Zack and Zack's face lit up into a grin. "How many swords are you carrying!?"

This forced a chuckle out of Cloud. He hadn't wanted to use the other pieces of his sword yet. It was a handy thing to have as an ace up his sleeve. It was easy to force his opponents to underestimate him if they believed him to have only one blade. Zack had seen him take out one of the smaller side blades, but that was as far as he'd gone.

"Enough." He said, wanting to keep at least some of it a secret. He laughed again at Zack's look of disappointment and reached out to ruffle the younger man's hair. "I'm allowed to have some secrets, aren't I?" He laughed again at the indignant spluttering that Zack replied with.

– – – – – –

"Zack told me you fell ill."

Cloud groaned. He'd finally managed to get a moment away from everyone, a moment to himself, and Sephiroth had still found him.

"There's a reason I'm sitting in the dark." Cloud pointed out, gesturing to the empty conference room around him. He could feel Sephiroth move through the room to silently sit beside him. Fine. Cloud let out a sigh. "I just wanted a minute."

"Unfortunate for you, your friends care for you." There was movement, and the next Cloud knew, there was a mug of hot liquid pressed into his hands. "From my personal reserve."

Cloud nodded in thanks, taking the coffee and sipping it slowly. He hadn't had coffee in days – not trusting the communal stuff after hearing what Hojo had done.

"You had a panic attack." There was no question. Zack had probably told Sephiroth everything. Cloud didn't respond, instead concentrating on the too sweet coffee. When he didn't speak, Sephiroth continued. "From Zack's description of your reaction, it seems like it's a common occurrence for you."

"PTSD." Cloud muttered, hating those letters. The doctors in Edge had declared them to him before trying to get him to agree to counselling. He'd refused, of course, preferring to try to work things out by himself. Tifa hadn't been happy about that.

It took him a moment to realise that Sephiroth wasn't only here to check on his well being. Cloud was SOLDIER, after all, under Sephiroth's command. The man needed to know how this would effect Cloud on the field. "Only really a problem when I come across Shinra scientists."

Again, there was silence, a long moment between words. Cloud let it settle over him like a blanket. He'd been expecting long silences to be awkward around Sephiroth, but they were actually comfortable.

"You said you knew of someone that Hojo made disappear."

"Yeah. A few." He didn't want to go into details here. He could give away too much information. He needed Sephiroth to trust him, not to be suspicious. "Hojo used them and discarded them. They were considered missing or killed in action." That had been the official line, right? The one the rest of the world ate up all too eagerly.

More silence. Then, "I'm sorry for your trauma." And Sephiroth left, his words ringing in Cloud's ears. He actually believed him.

It felt very surreal, receiving sympathy and understanding from the man who could one day go on to destroy the world. But Cloud had to remind himself that this Sephiroth was no more that man than his own son was.

– – – – – – –

The dreams came that night. The green weight clawing at his being, surrounding him, suffocating him. The haze through which he could see blocking out almost all colour, leaving him in a sea of green. He tried to call out, but when he opened his mouth, the green invaded him, sliding its way down his throat like a snake heading for its prey. Heavy limbs banged against the glass, willing it to break, to give him reprieve from the overwhelming pressure around him.

Beyond the green, beyond the mist, he could see a man approaching. A short man with greasy long hair and a white lab coat. The look of glee on the man's face filling him with such all consuming dread that he tried to cry out again.

And suddenly the pressure on his arms was tighter, real. His eyes shot open and another cry ripped its way through his throat.

"Hey!" Zack. Zack's voice. Zack would talk to him, try to keep him calm. Zack would save him. Zack would take him home. Zack would-

The man before him let out a muffled yelp as strong arms encircled him, pulling him into a bone crushing embrace. "Cloud?"

"I'm sorry." Cloud was somewhere between sleep and awareness. He held on tighter, tears falling down his face. "I'm sorry." He repeated, "I tried."

Slowly, arms came around him to hold him back. "Cloud?" Zack's bewildered voice broke through to the older man, finally pulling him that last inch away from sleep. "Hey man, it's okay. It was just a dream." Cloud became aware that they were rocking back and forth and that his head was pressed against Zack's chest and his arms had a death grip on the younger SOLDIER.

"Sorry." He muttered, releasing his hold and trying to sit back. Zack held him for a moment longer before letting him go.

"You were screaming." Zack was rubbing his ribs with a wince and Cloud felt another pang of guilt.

"Nightmare." He replied to the man, slowly standing and reaching for his clothes. There was no way that he would be able to get back to sleep now. It had been a long time since his last flashback, but he remembered them well enough. It could be days before he slept again.

Zack followed suit, gathering his clothing and getting dressed. "Good thing I was here then." He said with forced cheerfulnesses. "To help you wake up." His movement was stilted, pained and Cloud grimaced.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, fearing the answer.

"Eh, a little." There was a shrug. "Nothing that wont heal quick enough. So. Breakfast?"

– – – – – – –

"So I think Sephiroth really does want to be your friend," Zack stated over breakfast. It was three o'clock in the morning and the cafeteria was deserted. Cloud still took the seat in the corner where he could see the exits however, his paranoia kicked up a notch after the day before.

"Why's that?"

"Well, he told me to give you this," Zack reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jar. Inside was a fine brown powder. "He asked me if it was 'customary to give friends gifts'."

When Zack handed the jar over, Cloud opened it and sniffed the contents. Coffee. A small smile found its way on to his face as he stood and made his way over to the boiled water jug to prepare some.

"He gave you coffee?" Zack's confusion was apparent.

"Yeah. He said he had some personal reserves that Hojo couldn't get near." The coffee was still too sweet, Cloud much preferred it bitter. There must have been sugar mixed in with the grind or something. "Didn't expect him to give me some though." He savoured it. Usually he would down coffee in one go, but now he was down to a limited supply. At least until he could go shopping for his own.

– – – – – – – –

Round Three had been set up. Sephiroth had decided that since Cloud had been distracted during their last attempt at a spar, a rematch was required. Again, the field had been set up to allow for spectators and Sephiroth was standing in the middle waiting for him.

This time, Cloud had decided to come more prepared. He'd laundered and double checked his uniform before wearing it, and had brought a spare shirt just in case.

It was a rare sunny day on the plate and Cloud looked at the sky as he walked on to the pitch. The sun could be a valuable resource on days like these, he could use it to blind his opponent and create an opening. He saw Sephiroth's face was turned up to the sky as well and realised that the man had had the same thought. He'd have to be prepared for that.

The fight started slowly, neither man moving at first and the crowds were beginning to get impatient. With a smirk, Sephiroth launched himself towards Cloud, slowly enough that Cloud could get out of the way easily. But instead of moving left or right like Sephiroth had expected, Cloud simply jumped over the swing and landed his feet on Masamune's blade.

He couldn't help but return the smirk at Sephiroth's look of surprise, but didn't let it distract him too much. Taking a leaf out of Tifa's fighting book, Cloud arched his back, launching himself into a back flip, feet catching Sephiroth's chin along the way.

Cloud landed in a crouch as Sephiroth stumbled backwards, the blow completely unexpected. It didn't take him long to regain his footing however, and with a dash he jumped into the air between Cloud and the sun.

If Cloud hadn't been expecting that, it probably would have worked. As it was, he simply jumped to meet Sephiroth in the sky, eliminating the threat of looking up at the sun and being blinded.

They were airborne for a while, trading and blocking blows. Cloud had to admit that it was actually kind of fun. He'd never really spared for the sake of sparing before – it had always been in the name of training or keeping his fitness levels up – and it had been so long since any kind of friendly match had given him a challenge. His friends were strong, but the only one of them to have any kinds of enhancements was a marksman. It was difficult to spar against a marksman.

Cloud wasn't paying enough attention to his surroundings and it wasn't until they had both landed on the ground again that he realized that it was steel and not the fake grass that the training field had used. He took less than a second to look around and realized that they were on the side of Shinra Tower.

Fighting back memories, he threw himself back into the fight a moment too late.

Sephiroth had his blade trapped against the steel of the building, Masamune against the hilt and his boot against the tip. Cloud couldn't yank it out without Masamune coming too and from this angle he knew that the blade would end up in his shoulder. He didn't want a repeat of that. The smirk on Sephiroth's face showed that the man had realised the predicament that Cloud had found himself in, and all Cloud wanted to do at that moment was wipe the look off the man's face.

He didn't think about keeping his secret, of his ace in the hole, he acted without thinking. A flick of his finger and wrist and he separated his blade, two daggers coming free. One in each hand he let go of the main blade and moved.

One dagger pressed against Sephiroth's neck, the other against the wrist holding Masamune. Cloud knew that Sephiroth couldn't get out of this without risking damage. In his own time, he would have never bothered with such tactic. That Sephiroth hadn't been afraid of pain and had had next to no self preservation instinct (why would you need one if you wouldn't stay dead?).

This Sephiroth, however, was looking at him with wide, shocked eyes. Cloud moved closer, his body all but pressing Sephiroth into the building. "Don't underestimate your enemy." He told the young man, "Don't believe you've won the battle until your enemy is dead."

"Yield." The word came out in a soft whisper, Sephiroth's eyes never leaving Cloud's face and his hand dropping Masamune.

Cloud held his position for a moment before backing off. He reassembled his weapon swiftly and jumped down the side of the building. Below him, Zack was waving and bouncing, a crowd gathering behind him.

"We couldn't see! Who won!?" Zack asked the moment Cloud's feet hit the ground.

"He did." Sephiroth's voice came from behind Cloud as the man dropped from above. He caught up to Cloud and offered him a hand.

It was only then that Cloud noticed how flushed Sephiroth was, a fine sheen of sweat coated his skin and he was breathing a little faster than normal. In all his fights with Sephiroth, Cloud had never managed to get the man to break a sweat. This just helped prove to Cloud that he was a different man to the one he'd defeated in the past.

Cloud took the hand and shook it.

– – – – – – –