A/N 1- I'd give excuses about why I haven't updated in ages but they're just that excuses. I guess I could say that because of the lack of schedule over the summer I become a potato slug but really, I should have stayed focused so I'm sorry for that. Thank you for sticking with me. Also a bit of a fun fact I have never been to Paris, cannot speak French, and probably all of the scenes in Paris are completely wrong and full of errors so please forgive me.
Bits of Broken Glass
Author: Booknookgurl
Rated: T
Disclaimer: I don't own Sebastian Smythe, Chris Stewart, Glee, or A Mother's Nightmare. They belong to Fox and Lifetime respectively.
Warnings: Drug and alcohol use, mentions of sex
Sebastian couldn't help but giggle as he walked through the door of his dad's house. He was supposed to be sneaking but he couldn't remember why anymore. All he knew was that the silence in the house was too damn disturbing. He hated it and, while he could hear Paris's nightlife off in the distance the silence was still too loud. The silence left space in Sebastian's head, space that he could fill with thoughts and the thing was Sebastian didn't want to think. Weeks ago he had realized that thinking only made things worse, it was easier just to stop, to numb himself. At the time he hadn't known how to stop thinking but soon it had become obvious. Clubbing, getting lost in Paris's nightlife, made Sebastian forget everything and, if he was lucky, he would crawl back home at the end of the night and continue to forget until he woke up the next morning.
Then everything would come back and hit him like a ton of bricks. He would be flooded with the memories of Trent, Vanessa, and his life as Chris all at once. With the memories came guilt too. He wasn't supposed to be getting high and drunk and sleeping around. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't do that, do something that hindered his better judgment. It was worth it though for the nights of numb bliss. It was worth the pain he felt because Sebastian could just go out again later and drink and dance the pain away. He'd always heard people say that the high one got from doing drugs and drinking was temporary but now, after almost a month and a half of drowning his fear with alcohol, he knew that was a lie. It wasn't the high that was temporary, it was the hurt that was.
For weeks he'd been spending the sun lit hours in Paris walking around the city, going to markets, book shops, cafes, where that caught his eye, chatting to the locals and the tourists alike. He had spent eight days holed up in Shakespeare and Co. book store on the Left Bank, pouring over books and letting the familiarity of the English writers wash over him as Walt Whitman's descendants watched over him, sometimes offering him food or advice. After that he spent four days wandering through the markets, marveling at the mix of Parisians and tourists. Paris was a city of love and art and Sebastian was determined to see as much love and art as he could, sneaking off to the artist squats when his family wasn't looking. He loved the bohemian nature of so many of these people and, when speaking to them, began to feel a little bit of Chris sneak into Sebastian.
Then night would fall and the good parts of Chris that had seeped into Sebastian during the day would turn foul. Flashbacks and memories would resurface so, after his father and Daisy had gone to bed he would sneak out to the bars and make himself forget. Every night Chris would die, drown in alcohol, sex, and drugs, and each night Sebastian felt Chris disappear and hoped that this would be the night he left for good. He would find the most tourist-y bars he could and loose himself in them because there it was okay to be piss drunk. He'd learned that drunk wasn't a French thing and had learned how to keep himself at least mostly put together until he walked through the front doors of his hous.
Sebastian shook his head clumsily as he started to make his way towards the stairs and up to his room. He'd gone all out tonight, drinking to excess and, from what he could remember, giving at least two different people blow jobs before getting something in return. Everything was spinning and he was sure that he'd be paying for his excess in the morning but he didn't really have the energy to care. He had to focus on getting upstairs. If he got up to his room he would be fine and his dad would never have to know that he'd left the house. Just as he thought this though a calm yet stern voice spoke from behind him. "Chris, care to tell me where you were?"
Sebastian froze as his step mother's voice filtered through his muddled thoughts and processed in his head. Slowly he turned around to face the young blonde woman. "Firs' of all." Sebastian started, slurring his words slightly as he spoke. "'m not Chris. 'm Sebastian. Second none of your business." He snapped, wanting nothing more than to go up to his room and sleep. He didn't want to have to deal with this right now. "No. No matter what your father is letting you say your name is Chris so I will call you such. And yes, it is my business. It's very much my business when my son sneaks home at three forty-five in the morning." She replied, her voice rising in volume. "Oh shut up. You're not my mom, you can't say any of that shit to me." Sebastian yelled back, hearing footsteps on the stairs as he did so.
"Sebastian. Stop shouting. Go to your room." Mr. Stewart said sharply, suddenly appearing right in front of Sebastian. "Honey." Daisy replied, sounding unsure of this idea. "No, Day, even if we yell at him now he's not going to remember any of it. Lets all just get some sleep. We'll talk about this when it's not the middle of the god forsaken night." Mr. Stewart replied and Daisy shook her head, grumbling to herself as she shuffled back up the stairs. By now Sebastian was starting to feel a bit more sober and knew that the next morning would definitely be a bad one. "Dad…" He said quietly, staring at his dad in the dark. "I thought you knew better than this." Mr. Stewart replied with a sad shake of the head. "Dad!" Sebastian repeated, this time more pleadingly but Mr. Stewart just shook his head again before heading back up the stairs, leaving Sebastian alone in the dark.
Sebastian sighed, biting back tears as he watched his father walk away. He'd screwed up and he knew it. He'd always been angry at his father for choosing alcohol over his family in the past and now he was doing exactly the same thing. Sebastian would like to believe that this was just pay back, that his dad deserved to know how it felt, but he knew this wasn't true because no one should feel the way Chris had felt as a kid. After what felt like hours of standing in the dark Sebastian slowly made his way up the stairs. While his mind felt sober his body definitely wasn't and the effort it took to climb the stairs made Sebastian's head spin and stomach lurch. He only just made it to the bathroom before his stomach decided to expel its contents. Usually this part happened earlier, before Sebastian had gone home but now he had to sit on the floor, head in the toilet, knowing that his dad could hear every sound. He fell asleep that night feeling like a failure on the bathroom floor.
The next morning Sebastian woke up to the sound of someone gasping. "Jesus Christ Chris." The voice said and Sebastian sighed, of course it was Daisy. "Get cleaned up. You're wanted down stairs." She said, tossing at towel at him before slamming the door shut. "Bitch." Sebastian muttered under his breath as he stood up on wobbly feet. Was it really necessary for her to slam the door? His head was pounding and the room was still spinning slightly. This was definitely going to be the mother of all hangovers. "I don't hear any movement in there Chris. Get going!" Daisy called out from behind the door, her voice sounding like nails on a chalk board to Sebastian. "Shut up, I'm going okay?" He called back before turning the shower on and stepping into the spray, not caring if the water felt like it had just been transported from the tundra in the North Pole.
By the time Sebastian had finished showering, got dressed, and came down stairs his dad and Daisy were both sitting at the dining room table, empty cereal bowls sitting in front of them. "Sit down." Mr. Stewart commanded as Sebastian walked cautiously into the room. Without a word Sebastian did as he was told, feeling nerves and fear bubble up in his stomach. "We need to talk." Mr. Stewart continued and Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Really? Here I was thinking that we were sitting here to plan a flash mob." He replied, making his dad sigh. "Sebastian this is serious." He replied, slamming is hand on the table. "You've been drinking, sneaking out every night and doing god knows what. Don't try to deny it." Sebastian closed his mouth. "It's been happening for weeks. At first I just let you do it because you're a teenager you're supposed to do these things but it's gone too far. You're starting school soon, what will happen then? This can't keep going on. There need to be consequences." Mr. Smythe sighed as he finished, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes.
"What do you mean by consequences?" Sebastian asked warily, glancing from his dad to Daisy, who looked like she was trying not to smirk. He should have known she was an evil witch. "It means we're sending you back to the states." Daisy said, sounding a lot more like an annoying older sister than a supposed parent. Sebastian was about to comment on that when her actual words sunk in, making him freeze. "Excuse me?" He asked, looking at his dad in shock. "She's got to be lying. Dad, she's lying right?" Mr. Stewart just shook his head though. "She's telling the truth. Chris. Sebastian. This behavior needs to stop so we've called your mother and-" "You what?" Chris interrupted angrily. His mom didn't need to be dragged into this. He'd already dragged her through so much and she didn't need to worry about him more than she was. "We called your mother and she agreed that it was best for you to go back to America." Mr. Stewart continued and Sebastian paled. He couldn't go back to Grandview, back to his old life. He didn't fit there anymore.
"You aren't going back to Grandview." Mr. Stewart said quickly, reading the look on Sebastian's face. "You'll be going to live with your aunt Paulina in Ohio." For a moment Sebastian felt himself relax as he realized he wouldn't be going back home. It then sunk in where he would be going. "Ohio? Isn't that pretty much bumblefuck USA?" He asked. He couldn't go to live in some crappy rural area where the closest neighbors were cows. "Watch your language and no. Your aunt lives in Westerville, right outside of Columbus. You leave in two days." Daisy said and Sebastian glared at her. "I wasn't asking you Daisy." He replied scathingly and Mr. Stewart shook his head. "This is exactly the behavior I was talking about. Chris would never do this. Where did he go?" Sebastian shook his head, suddenly feeling both angry and sad. Part of him, the Chris part, wanted to tell his dad that Chris never left, that he was still there. Sebastian was too strong to let Chris resurface though and instead he just scoffed. "Didn't you hear?" He asked. "Chris died a while ago." With that Sebastian stood up, pushing his chair away from the table and leaving the room.
a/n 2: So yep, Chris/Sebastian is headed to Ohio and I'm sure you can all see where the story is headed now. As always comment, favorite, subscribe if you like this story and thanks for reading!
