A/N- All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer.
- Twice in 24 hours? I KNOW! Please forgive any spelling/grammar- my priority was to get this posted for you!
Anyways, about last chapter... yeah. One of the goals I had for this story was to steer clear of what so many other writers feel they need to do, which is to demonize the "other" so that they can emphasize that the "only logical" choice is one specific character. In other words, in my opinion, Bella doesn't need to hate Edward in order to choose Jacob and vice versa. Edward doesn't have to be an asshole for Jacob to look like a good guy, etc. In real life, such decisions are rarely so clear cut, and such characterizations are rarely so black and white.
I thought recognizing this was one of Stephanie Meyer's greatest strengths in her writing.
I hope this turns out like you want it to... but if not, eh, oh well. :)
"No." I said quietly as I kept my eyes on the little grass ring.
"No?" he asked.
"No." I let that word hang in the air for a moment before continuing.
"I love Jake. I'm wearing Jake's mother's grandmother's ring. I can't marry you Edward, I'm sorry. I… just can't." Tears now found their way to my eyes and I swiped at them angrily while standing up as quickly as possible, needing to put space between us.
I walked back towards the house, breaking into a run as I neared the edge of the forest.
"Bella. You don't mean that. You're crying! You wouldn't be crying if you really meant it! Bella! Bella, please!" His voice made its way to me through the dark heavy raindrops and my steps momentarily faltered. I glanced over my shoulder and saw him still kneeling in the mud, his hand once again finding its way to his wet hair.
I picked my pace up again and ran as fast as the mud allowed me. There was less sliding this time than there was the first, but much more splashing. I was covered in dirt and completely soaked through before I began my trip home, so as I reached the backdoor I kicked my shoes off and peeled each article of clothing off, leaving them on the back deck before finding solace in the dry warmth of the house.
I knew Charlie wouldn't be home yet so I ran through the house naked and up to the shower. I had implicit directions from the doctor to not get my stitches wet, but seeing how that was already shot, I turned on the hot water, yanked my hair tie out and stepped gingerly into the shower. I noticed Charlie had installed larger, more obnoxious flowers on the bottom of the bathtub and I realized I had developed, at last, a newfound respect and appreciation for them.
I melted into the hot water, allowing it to nearly scald my chilled skin and reveled in the steam already beginning to fill the bathroom. I decided to shave my legs and armpits before thinking about what the hell had just happened. I shaved my right leg and then slowly finished my left. The longer I took, the longer I could pretend as if my entire world hadn't just been turned upside down and dumped open like a purse in the hands of a curious two year old. I applied shampoo to my hair and finally allowed myself the room to think.
Edward had seemed genuine. He reminded me of the boy he was when we first met: romantic, kind, and completely blind to the way his actions affected others. And while I had said no, I needed to admit to myself that, for just a fraction of a moment, I had wanted to say yes. Despite the long distance, the less-than-welcoming father-in-law, and the ill-timed proposal, I had allowed myself to momentarily imagine being with him again. And that knowledge shook me to my core.
Jake was probably at his house waiting for me to call him and tell him when I could come over to spend the night. He was probably thinking of me at the very moment that Edward was proposing to me. I felt sick just thinking about it.
I thought back to Jacob's proposal and how different it was from Edward's.
Jacob had called me that morning and asked me out on "a proper date." He said I should wear something nice, "like that yellow sundress thingy you have," and to tell Charlie that Billy expected him over that afternoon for some fishing. I remember thinking nothing of it, except that Jacob even mentioning my clothing was slightly odd.
When I got out of bed I told Charlie over breakfast about my plans (and his) for the day and we both decided it made more sense to ride to La Push together in the cruiser. I went about my morning, picking my clothing out, showering, and getting ready for the date until finally Charlie called me down and said he was ready to head out. I walked down the stairs grabbing my white cardigan from the banister, only to find Charlie waiting for me at the bottom. He had his fishing gear in hand, and his vest already on, but he was looking at me in the oddest way, as if it were prom and he was waiting to threaten my date.
"Dad, what's up with you?" I asked, smirking.
"You, uh, you look good Bells," he grunted before leaning over and kissing my forehead.
"Ummmm, thanks I guess. What's with the…"
"…Nothing. Nothing, I, well, I just hope you have a good time with Jake today is all." He turned from me, clasping the cooler laying at his feet and heading towards the door.
We arrived at Billy's house and Jake met me at the door, wearing khakis and a black dress shirt. It took me by surprise as I had been so accustomed to him going shirtless and wearing only shorts. But, he looked good. I mean, good good.
I whistled jokingly before saying, "Wow, Jake. You sure do clean up nicely."
He grinned, did a turn, and walked over to me before wrapping his arms around me and lifting my feet off of the ground, twirling us both at the same time.
"Bella, Bella, Bella. My Bella. This is my favorite dress. You're my sun." He slowly lowered my feet down to the ground and kissed me sweetly on the lips.
"I figured your request for something 'like my yellow sundress thingy' was a mere disguise for you wanting me to actually wear 'my yellow sundress thingy.' So what are we doing today all dressed up?" I slid my hand into his and leaned into his side.
"I actually thought we'd go for a nice walk." He said, still grinning and attempting to inconspicuously glance down my dress.
"I see you Jacob Black! And my father is right through that window." I punched his arm and pretended to be offended by his ogling.
We went on our way, walking through the main streets of the reservation, which of course meant that every person we passed initiated a conversation with Jacob, and after a while we found ourselves off the beaten path and nearing an area I had never been to before.
"Jake, where are we going? I'm actually getting a little hungry. Should we head back towards the house?" I asked.
"There's a place just ahead I want to take you before heading back. Okay?" He wrapped his arm around my back. "I'll carry you if your feet are tired."
"No, it's okay. I'm fine." I replied honestly.
We rounded a bend and saw a horse with his reigns wrapped around a tree, but no rider was in sight.
"Jake, whose horse is that? Should we tell someone?" I was concerned, but things on the rez were so much different than in Forks and I wasn't quite sure if this was common practice or not.
"Actually, it's Sam's horse. He said I could borrow it for the day. You interested?" He unwrapped the reigns and stroked the horse's nose before hoisting himself up onto the horse's bare back and holding his hand out for me.
"Yes! I'd love to, but can he hold both of us?" I was nervous for the horse; Jake was no little guy.
He chuckled and then promised me 'August Rain' would be fine. I hopped up on the horse and sat behind Jacob, wrapping my arms around his waist and breathing in his warm skin. We rode for only about 10 minutes before we stopped. I peeked around Jake and saw that we were now at the top of a small hill, overlooking the ocean. There was an old green quilt laid out with a bundle of wildflowers in the middle. A picnic basket lay beside the quilt and it was all beside a fallen log, bleached white from the summer sun.
Jake dismounted the horse and wrapped both hands around my waist, pulling me down from the horse and cradling me in his arms. He carried me to the quilt before laying me down tenderly.
I was overwhelmed with surprise.
"Jake, this is beautiful. Really. How did you do this? Is there real food in there?" I pointed at the basket.
"Actually, Billy and Charlie helped out. And of course there's real food in there! I know you so well I even packed some Reece's Pieces." He reached over and lifted the lid, pulling the container of my favorite candy out and handing it to me. I opened it up and had a few bites so that the incessant growling in my stomach would lessen before closing the container and finally taking in the sight of the ocean.
After a few quiet moments he turned to me and held my hand.
"Bella. I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you in that white sunhat your parents used to make you wear at the beach."
"Oh my God that thing was awful, wasn't it?" I laughed.
"Nah, it might have been a little goofy, but it was protecting you. You don't need it anymore though because I want to protect you. I want to be that goofy thing that takes care of you for the rest of your life." I noticed a bead of sweat dripping from his hairline as his hands fidgeted in his lap.
"Jake. I don't need a protector, I …"
"…Bella! Please, please for all that is holy, let me finish?" He was laughing now at my pout, but he reached over into the basket and then turned in such a way that positioned him on one knee.
"Ohhhhhhh!" I said, finally understanding the importance of the dress, his shirt, the horse, and the picnic.
"I want to share my life with you. I want to share my culture, my heritage, my family with you. I want you to be the mother of my children, and I want to walk with you to this spot over and over again throughout our lives. I want to make you happy, I want to make love to you until you beg me to stop…"
"..Jake!" I squealed!
"… I know, but it's true! I want to be your husband, Bella. I've asked Charlie and he gave us his blessing. Please, Bella. Quil-clout-lay." He kissed me and opened his hand where a simple, emerald ring lay in his palm.
I inhaled deeply, careful to appreciate the moment, the presentation he had spent so much time putting together.
"Oh Jacob… yes. Whatever that meant, yes." He took my hand and slid the ring onto my ring finger before kissing it and wrapping his arms around me. We fell to the quilt and I lay on top of him, kissing him passionately on his lips, chin, neck and chest. We both laughed and cried simultaneously until we fell quiet, happily drinking in the setting sun and the crashing of the waves.
"Jacob, where did you get this ring? It's perfect." I asked after we had eaten, packed up, and were riding the horse back to Sam's place.
"It was my great-grandmother's. My dad tells me she was just like you. Stubborn as hell, the kind of girl that would interrupt a man's proposal to her." He ducked his head awaiting the inevitable swat from me while we both giggled. "My great-grandfather proposed with those same words, and my grandfather, and father as well. It's a tradition." He explained.
"What did it mean?" I asked.
He leaned over and whispered it in my ear, before stealing a kiss from me.
"I love you Jacob. I have never been more happy in my entire life than I am at this moment," I said, twirling my fingers in his dark hair and kissing his back.
Back at the house Charlie, Billy, Jessica, and a few more people were waiting with champagne in hand ready to toast our engagement. Charlie cleared his throat and turned around briefly for what appeared to be an eye wipe, before holding his glass in the air and making a speech.
"I'm not one for speeches, but I just wanted to say to my baby girl that I would never have agreed to this if it were anyone less deserving. And to Jake, make her happy- or else." The small crowd burst into laughter and clinked glasses before sipping their drinks and passing out hugs.
I dried my hair, grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt, put on minimal make-up and packed a light bag for the evening. I wasn't sure if Jake would want me to stay after I told him what had happened, but I wanted to be prepared just in case. I texted Jake so he knew I was on my way.
Leaving the house now. B there in 25 minutes.
K. Can't wait to see you.
I left a note for Charlie telling him I'd be back tomorrow and hopped in the truck. I practiced what I would tell Jake, how it might sound, and what he might say in return during the drive to the rez. I wondered if he would hate me for seeing Edward, for putting myself in a situation that could have been difficult for me to get out of easily, or if he would be gracious enough to understand my need for complete closure.
Is that what I got though? Did I get closure? I certainly got some of the answers to questions I had been asking for years, but somehow, even more questions seemed to find their way into my head now.
Was Edward the monster I had made him out to be in my mind? What else was he not telling me? Why did Carlisle think I was "below" Edward? Was it Charlie's modest income, my generic looks, or my destiny to graduate from a community college that made him so disapproving of our relationship? These were the thoughts still running through my mind.
I knew I had a lot of apologizing to do to Jacob, and almost more importantly, I had a lot of restraining to do as well. Jacob would surely want to seek Edward out and beat the shit out of him for today. And while part of me entertained the thought of allowing him, I knew it would only cause trouble for Jake- and truly, did I hate Edward enough to support Jake's beating of him? The answer was a firm no. Even Jake had understood a part of me would love Edward for the rest of my life. And clearly, if my response to his gut-wrenching cries earlier today proved anything, it was that I still felt connected to him in a profound way.
I neared the boundary of La Push and passed the few shops on the main street. I waved to Paul, and Seth who were walking around with two pretty girls on their arms. I passed Lacy and Jared's house and waved back to them as they sat on the swing in their front yard. Momma Abey was rocking on the porch with her granddaughter Rose, and Thomas Thunderbird was still working on his truck after rigging up extra lighting. We waved to one another and smiled pleasantly. These people had become my family and while I was usually thrilled to see them, their appearance in my drive to Jacob's only proved to further turn my stomach. I felt as though I had not only disappointed Jacob, but disappointed each one of them as well.
Eventually my truck tires found their way onto Jacob's gravel driveway. My headlights flashed into Jacob's living room windows. I parked the car, grabbed my bag, and took one last look in the review mirror. I breathed deeply and then exhaled slowly.
"Come on Bella. You put yourself in this mess, now get out of it." I whispered to myself.
I opened the door and met Jacob on the front porch.
"Hey babe, where have you been today? I was expecting you a few hours ago." He wrapped his arms around me and smelled my hair.
"I freaking love the way you smell." He kissed my cheek and then grabbed the bag from my shoulder, opening the front door and holding it for me. I ducked under his arm and entered the house. There were several candles lit throughout the small living room and the kitchen smelled like… baked beans and hot dogs?
"Jake, did you make dinner?" I asked awestruck.
"I did! Now, before you go crazy, take a second to lower your expectations. It's me, I cooked some baked beans, some hot dogs and put a bagged salad in a bowl. It's not going to be even remotely as delicious as your dinners usually are." He said.
"Oh Jake, I'm sure it will be great. But, I have to ask…"
"…before you say anything, YES, I drove all the way to Forks to get you those ridiculous looking vegetarian hot dogs." He cocked his eyebrow, smirked and tapped his cheek in an attempt to goad me into kissing him. It worked.
"Why, aren't you just the bestest fiancé I ever did meet," I said in my best faux Southern belle accent.
"I do try, Madame." He replied, putting my bag on Billy's old recliner, and grabbing my hand to lead me towards the kitchen. He pulled my chair out and asked me about work. I was happy to put our conversation on hold for another few minutes so I filled him in on the grizzly bear, sparing the gory details as he was serving me dinner.
We ate what was a surprisingly good meal and he asked questions about the bear and then filled me in on his day.
"…Then Quil looked at me and said, 'Dude, that skunk will rue the day he crossed my path. I will hunt him, his children, and his grandchildren until his entire bloodline is wiped from this land.' But the best part was the seriousness of his voice. Quil cried when his car hit a squirrel last year. He could never kill a skunk, let along skunk grandchildren? I laughed at him for like, an hour after that just imagining him hiding in the woods for days with a BB gun or something." He laughed heartily at this last image.
I found myself laughing with him despite the dread still sitting in my stomach like a lead ball.
"I'm glad you had such a good day." I said standing up and clearing the table. I cleared the dishes and put them into the washer before turning to him and leaning against the sink.
"Hey, listen. I have to talk to you about something." I placed the dishtowel on the counter and crossed my legs in front of me, looking at the ground.
"Bells," Jake said, standing and crossing the kitchen with a sly grin on his face before stopping in front of me and putting his hands on each side of my waist. He leaned in to kiss me, slowly, gently, but firmly.
"I was thinking we could go outside and make a bonfire, just the two of us. We could bring a few blankets out and curl up and watch the stars. I picked up some marshmallows if you wanted to make some s'mores too." He kept kissing me every few words and his legs spread so that my legs were now between his. My breathing became labored as his hands crept up my ribs and his thumbs touched the sides of my breasts.
"Jake…" I whispered, "I… really do have to talk to you about something." I arched my back and my head tilted back as his lips found my neck and he pressed himself into me.
"I know. And I want to talk to you about it. But I really, really, want to make that fire outside and lay down with you first." He leaned down further trailing kisses down my neck before laying a final one between my breasts. I moaned as I felt him harden against me. Before I could enjoy it though, Jake pushed off from the counter and quickly exited the kitchen yelling over his shoulder, "I'll have the fire started in a few minutes, grab some blankets, and the stuff for s'mores from the pantry and meet me outside!"
I huffed jokingly and stood up walking to the pantry to fish out the marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers. I grabbed a few of the blankets from various rooms and closets and headed outside to meet Jake. As promised the fire was already blazing and he was gleaning two sticks for the perfect marshmallow roasters.
We enjoyed a s'more or two and then heard a few small noises coming from the woods behind the house. Jake thought it might be the skunk coming to finish the job on him and I laughed until my stomach hurt at the thought of it. We fell back on the blankets and wrapped ourselves into one another.
We kissed one another letting our tongues entwine, and before I even realized it my shirt was over my head and my jeans were laying beside the blankets. Jake was holding himself over me, kissing my stomach, my thighs, my shoulders- worshipping my body by the light of the fire. In return I set about trying to disrobe him every time he came up for a breath. I grappled with his shirt, unzipped his pants, and tugged forcefully at his boxers. My hips were gyrating against him and despite the cold weather my cheeks were burning with heat. He rolled onto his back after I had successfully removed his clothing, pulling me on top of him. He unhooked my bra and slid my underwear down my legs, lifting me up until he could reach my breasts, taking each nipple into his mouth and tugging on it before turning to the next and doing the same.
Luckily Jacob's neighbors lived far enough away to make hearing me unlikely, because my voice rose into the night air and mingled with the smoke from the logs in the fire beside us.
He slid back down his body kissing his mouth and allowing my hands to wind into his hair. I continued my way back down his body and felt my nails scratching down his chest and across the muscles of his stomach before I reached the dark trail of hair I had been seeking. I kissed every inch of skin from his navel down and settled myself between his legs taking in the sight of him. The light from the fire danced across his body and made his dark skin even more warm and inviting. I lowered my head and began licking him from the base of his cock slowly winding my tongue up to the tip, while gently massaging his balls with my left hand. When my tongue reached the tip, it swirled around the head slowly at first and then faster and faster, teasing him until I heard him beg for me to take it completely into my mouth. When I finally did, I wrapped my right hand around his shaft and stroked him while turning as well.
Finally, as my hand met the tip, I brought my mouth to him and slid his cock further and further into my mouth. Jake hissed, and his hands pushed my hair out of my face, bringing stray strands behind my ears. I looked up at him while he still filled my mouth and met his eye. He groaned before biting his lip and closing his eyes in concentration. I felt a trickle of my own moisture drip down my thigh, and fought the urge to reach down and touch myself while pleasuring him.
I brought my mouth back up to the tip allowing my hand to follow suit and continued with the motion until Jake's sounds became louder and more urgent. At the moment I presumed him to be on the precipice I gently pulled on his balls and released his cock from both my mouth and my hand.
"Ohhhh sweet Jesus, Bella!" Jacob exclaimed as I giggled innocently.
He had his hands in hair and he was breathing deeply in and out, his cock, harder than I had ever seen it, lay stiffly against his stomach.
"Get up here, you." He growled at me, licking his lips and sitting up far enough to catch both of my hands in his and pull me forward. We heard a twig snap in the woods and a rustle of leaves, which momentarily caused me to catch my breath.
"I saw a few deer our there earlier. No worries babe." Jacob whispered before locking lips with me and rolling me onto my back.
"My turn." He said grinning devilishly and tweaked my nipples between his giant fingers. He then brought his hands to my ribs and under my back until his palms were against my skin and sliding down to my waist. He licked down my body, teasing me as I had him, and lifted my hips so that I was tilted. He too enjoyed the way the fire lit our bodies and then lowered his mouth to my center, flicking my clit with his tongue before conversely sucking and nipping at it. He slid two fingers into me and then lifted his head, meeting my eye.
"You are already ready for me, aren't you, you minx?" he joked.
"I could be persuaded to stay this way for a few more minutes though…" I hinted.
He immediately brought his mouth back down to my body and taking his fingers out of me, he replaced them with his tongue. I felt it enter and exit my body quickly as his free hand began to put swift pressure on my clit. It was the single greatest physical pleasure I had ever experienced and I felt the force of it arch my back until it was totally off of the ground and Jacob was helping to support me.
He lifted his head and said, "I want to taste your orgasm Bella. Please." He begged before continuing where he left off. Only a few seconds later I felt a twinge in my hardened nipples that traveled to my stomach and up my legs, exploding at my clit and g-spot as I felt my muscles contract and expand in an explosion of pleasure.
I yelled out his name and he gripped my ass tightly drinking in every ounce of come my body brought forth in offering. I was breathing so deeply now I lowered my back onto the ground again and prepared to wait to find my voice again, but before that happened Jake sat up and pulled me onto his lap so that I was straddling his legs and resting against his cock. At the connection of our bodies, I jumped from surprise. Jake pressed his arm against my back, pushing my breasts into him while his other hand found its favorite place- my ass cheek.
Out mouths connected again and I ground my throbbing clit against his cock, using the moisture left over from my orgasm and his pre-cum now seeping from his tip, I ground myself up and down. He brought his other hand down to my ass and lifted me, bringing me down slowly until I aligned myself with his tip. I felt the pressure against me but only for a few seconds as my body eagerly accepted him into itself. He brought me down slowly, until finally he filled me completely and there was again that sense of completeness. Both of our breaths hitched and we exhaled each other's names in unison. I began to move myself up and down, with Jake's help as my body was so much smaller than his, it made the feat difficult to conquer on my own. His tongue was in my mouth, massaging my tongue, he nipped at my lip and my ear as I gripped his strong shoulders and pulled his hair. I rotated my hips towards his body, bringing my clit into contact with his stomach on each stroke and after several minutes he took over, guiding my body when I no longer had the energy to do it myself. He picked our speed up and the moisture from where our two bodies met provided a sweet, earthy smell. My nipples rubbed against his body and both of us looked down often to see how we looked when coming together.
"Oh, God Bella. Yes, Fuuuuuuckkkk." He exhaled.
"Mmmmmnnn, Jake, yes- faster please!" I returned.
He increased the speed until finally he pulled me down hard and instead of pumping through his orgasm like he had the previous few times, he held me there. His head fell back, every muscles in his body tightened, and he clenched his eyes shut while flexing his jaw. I was unbelievably turned on by the sight of him like this, but when I felt his cock contracting, stretching my opening as he released his load of come into me, my muscles contracted against him and I came only seconds after he began.
We sat there, still connected as we caught our breaths and our contended laughter filled the silence.
I had expected him to be ready for more s'mores quickly after that, but after ten minutes his cock remained hard within me and the very thought of it was igniting the fire within me as well. I began rocking back and forth slowly until we were once again grunting and sweating. This time, we switched positions and I lay on my stomach with my knees bent as he lay on top of me, sliding between my legs.
Both of us lasted longer this time, and it was nearly two AM by the time we had had our fill of one another for the time being. The fire had been extinguished and we wrapped ourselves in the blankets, being careful to bring each article of clothing and bit of food we had brought out with us, back inside.
We made our way to Jake's small bedroom and lay down side by side on his tiny bed. I was beyond exhausted, and I was wary to ruin such a perfect night by bringing Edward up, but I knew I had put it off long enough, so I rolled towards him and wrapped my leg around him, placing my palm on his chest.
"Jake," I whispered.
"Yeah." He combed his fingers through my hair.
"I have to tell you something…"
