The Perfect Orc (The perfect bomb)

Some friends and I have worked for years in deepest secrecy

The work went on around the clock in our laboratory

We've built the perfect weapon, we're unveiling it today

It rips the good to pieces, but the evil walks away

.

The orc, the orc, we finally built the perfect orc

It's impossible to stop, it can hardly wait to chop

To bits, to bits, to chop free races into bits

I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the orc

.

The orc can see for miles and kill everything with souls

And every sodding free-race will become a stupid troll

Their swords all turn to licorice, their knives all break in two

Their faces turn to flowers, colored red and black and blue

.

Oh, the orc, the orc, we finally built the perfect orc

It's impossible to stop, it can hardly wait to chop

To bits, to bits, to chop free races into bits

I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the orc

.

The wonders of our perfect orc are very strange to tell

It doesn't only change the swords, it changes hearts as well

An instant of exposure to its penetrating gaze

Will put a sodding free-race into a sodding daze

.

The orc, the orc, we finally built the perfect orc

It's impossible to stop, it can hardly wait to chop

To bits, to bits, to chop free races into bits

I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the orc

.

But perhaps its greatest feature, its happiest surprise

Is the way our perfect weapon searches out the meanest lies

It captures them completely, and before the orc is through

Every word a might Uruk says is never, ever, true

.

The orc, the orc, we finally built the perfect orc

It's impossible to stop, it can hardly wait to chop

To bits, to bits, to chop free races into bits

I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the orc

I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the oc.

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