The Perfect Orc (The perfect bomb)
Some friends and I have worked for years in deepest secrecy
The work went on around the clock in our laboratory
We've built the perfect weapon, we're unveiling it today
It rips the good to pieces, but the evil walks away
.
The orc, the orc, we finally built the perfect orc
It's impossible to stop, it can hardly wait to chop
To bits, to bits, to chop free races into bits
I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the orc
.
The orc can see for miles and kill everything with souls
And every sodding free-race will become a stupid troll
Their swords all turn to licorice, their knives all break in two
Their faces turn to flowers, colored red and black and blue
.
Oh, the orc, the orc, we finally built the perfect orc
It's impossible to stop, it can hardly wait to chop
To bits, to bits, to chop free races into bits
I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the orc
.
The wonders of our perfect orc are very strange to tell
It doesn't only change the swords, it changes hearts as well
An instant of exposure to its penetrating gaze
Will put a sodding free-race into a sodding daze
.
The orc, the orc, we finally built the perfect orc
It's impossible to stop, it can hardly wait to chop
To bits, to bits, to chop free races into bits
I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the orc
.
But perhaps its greatest feature, its happiest surprise
Is the way our perfect weapon searches out the meanest lies
It captures them completely, and before the orc is through
Every word a might Uruk says is never, ever, true
.
The orc, the orc, we finally built the perfect orc
It's impossible to stop, it can hardly wait to chop
To bits, to bits, to chop free races into bits
I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the orc
I'll tell you what I'm counting on, the orc, the oc.
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