Title: Porcelain
Author: Your Existence
Fandom: Naruto
Date: 31/1/09 (Jan. 31, 2009)
Chapter: Eleven
Pairings: SasuNaru (main)
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em…
Author's Note: This is February's chapter! I love this chapter bunches. And it's also longer than my average chapter. About 1,100 words longer than normal :D~!
Nothing much to say, really.
So, please enjoy chapter eleven of Porcelain~!
Benedykt's Crush
It had been three days since the boys were put in the enclosure. We roamed around for the first day. I saw a tree that looked like a good climbing tree. Shino found a promising bookstore. Shikamaru found a good napping place. The second day, we all slept through most of the day, getting up an hour or so before the sun started to set. The third day we all woke up early and planned to take another tour around. Kiba stole some pastries and we had them for breakfast. They were semi-sweet.
The sky was turning from its morning pink-orange to its early and fresh blue and the few birds still around started to chirp their cheery morning song when we all filed out of the little house, Shikamaru and Shino in the front leading us. We each were munching on our second pastry. All of a sudden, Shikamaru and Shino turned around. Everybody bumped into each other.
"We are splitting up." Shikamaru announced.
"Why?" Rock Lee questioned. Gaara looked at him impatiently. "I thought we were taking another tour around… all of us together…" Rock Lee started to bounce from one foot to the other nervously.
"Today, we are going to go in groups of two and do little mini tours of a section of this place." Shino explained. "We need to get to know the area."
"In case of emergency or something?" Chouji said, stretching. Shino nodded.
"Can't we go back to bed and sleep for another hour or so? I'm super tired…" Kiba tugged on Shino's shirt sleeve. "The sun is still not all the way in the sky…"
"No, Kiba. You can sleep later. Plus, I need you to pair up with me." Shino said to him, patting his head when he laid it down on his shoulder. Their fingers laced loosely together. I noticed this.
"More sleep would be nice." Gaara said, folding his arms. He rested against a small, but firm nearby tree. Rock Lee continued to bounce.
Shikamaru had paired us all up with another in the group (only one person was left without a partner. Jan, I think his name was). I got paired up with one of the more unknown boys in the group. He's always with the other two lesser known boys. He's very quiet and polite. He's also the one who sleeps the longest out of the little group.
"Be back here when the sun is highest in the sky." Shikamaru said, walking off, Chouji trailing behind him. We set off.
My partner and I were to tour the northwest part of the enclosure. It was a while before we got to the very top corner of the enclosure. There were large, tall metal wire gates with barbed wire at the top running in two directions forever.
The boy tugged on the back of my shirt. "What are we looking for exactly?" His voice was so small.
"Anything or place that might aid us one day. Kind of like a secret place just for us." The boy nodded to show that he understood, then a confused look came about his face.
"Naruto, why are we here?"
"In this part of town? Because the Jackboots put you guys here."
"No, I mean, why are we surrounded by gates? Why are we being herded into a pen like animals?" His large, hazel eyes bore into my blue, searching desperately for an answer. For an answer that I didn't have.
I turned away from his stare and started walking. "Come on. We've got to find something before the sun is high."
He trotted hopelessly after me.
-
I believe we did good.
We had found two good bakeries and a low gap in a stone wall behind some thick undergrowth that we both were able to squeeze through with ease. The boy had pointed out that the wall looked just like the one being built at the front of the enclosure.
"There might be more gaps in that wall, too," he had said. I smiled and patted his head, praising him. He had blushed.
We had also found another group of children, about four to six people, ages ranging from at least eight to thirteen, hiding out on top floor of an old, dusty apartment building. I had notice two of them going in and peering out the window at the top. They didn't see us and we didn't interact with them. That was something for Shino or Shikamaru to do.
We were heading back, the sun crawling closer to the middle of the sky, when the boy asked me a unusual question.
"Why are you so conceited?"
I turned around, the most confused look on my face. "Con…ceited?" He nodded. "I don't even know what that word means."
"Why do you put yourself above the others like you're better?"
I looked at him straight on. He was being rude. I was look for a mocking expression on his face or something like it, but I that was there was pure curiosity.
"I… don't do that…"
"Yes, you do."
"How?"
"Just because you have blond hair and just because the Jackboots haven't given you an armband, you think you are safe. You think you are better than the rest of the boys. They all got armbands." The boy held up his left arm. The white of the armband reflected the blinding light of the sun. The blue star stood out like it was about to jump off.
"I don't think like that. I don't even understand the meaning behind the armbands or why the Jackboots act the way they do. You shouldn't call people 'conceited' or other nonsense like it. I go where the boys go. We all have to stick together, armband or no armband."
"Naruto and Benedykt. What did you two find?" Shikamaru came up to us, a pencil in one hand and tattered piece of paper in the other. I took note of the boy's name as Shikamaru folded the paper to a new blank spot. "Come on."
We gave our report. I did all the talking, though, telling Shikamaru where we were and what I found. The boy, Benedykt, just nodded and agreed with everything I said. I told Shikamaru every detail I could remember. I told him about the group of children. His face showed a small sliver of surprise when I mentioned the children. I didn't mention the gaps in the stone wall. Something inside me was telling me that it wasn't time to tell them. Benedykt didn't say anything about the gaps either. Benedykt didn't say anything at all.
Shikamaru nodded with satisfaction. We all talked and mingled in front of the house for a few. Soon, we separated, some going into the house, some going to explore some more. I went into the house, determined to crawl under my comforter and sleep 'til tomorrow.
But when I reached my mattress, Benedykt was there, seeming to have been waiting for me.
"Uh… Hi, Benedykt…"
"Hello."
The silence that followed was horribly awkward. He stared at me, waiting for me to respond. My eyes darted this way and that, trying to think of something to do. I felt like I could just faint.
"I like you." My brows scrunched together as I pointed to myself. He nodded. "I like you a lot."
"I… um… You… uh, I have to go…" I stammered as I ran out the room. I could feel his eyes on my as I stumbled down the stairs.
-
"Shino! Shino!" I cried as I approached him and Kiba. They were sitting in the shade under the tree, relaxing. Akamaru was close by, sleeping soundly. Shino's head was in Kiba's lap with Kiba's fingers gently laced in his hair. Kiba's expression turned hard and cold when sat down in front of them three feet away. "I… I have problem."
"We don't care. Now, go away." Kiba was shooing me away with his hand. Shino reached up and grabbed Kiba's shooing hand.
"Let's hear what he has to say, first." Shino said. He then gestured me to explain my problem. I looked at Kiba for a brief moment, then at the ground.
"Well?" Kiba's voice was hard.
"I… Well, you know that one boy I was paired up with for the mini tour?"
"Benedykt? The one with hazel eyes?"
"Yeah, that's him." I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. "He… um…"
"Come on already."
"Well, I had went up to my mattress to go back to sleep for the rest of the day, but when I got there, the boy was there, waiting for me on my mattress. I didn't know what to do, so I stood there, waiting for him to leave. But then, he comes out of nowhere and says that he likes me! I really don't know what that means, but it made me feel funny and annoyed inside. I mean, I don't even know him and he doesn't even know me! And now I don't know what to do! I don't like him at all!" I was out of breath and my eyes had started to fill a little with frustrated tears. I wiped at my eyes, trying to clear my vision.
Shino chuckled as sat up briefly to stretch, then laid his head back down in Kiba's lap. "Why don't you like him?"
"Because, I don't even know him. I can't like someone I hardly know."
"It has nothing to do with the fact he's a boy and he likes you?"
"No. I don't care that he's a boy… Why?"
Shino shook his head, a faint smile on his face. Kiba's eyebrows had risen up. "Naruto," Shino started. "Do you know the difference between liking someone as a friend and liking someone as something more than a friend?"
"I think…"
"Explain."
I thought for a minute. "Well, when you like someone as a friend, you just like their company and you like to hang out with them and have fun with them. But when you like someone more than a friend, you…" I didn't know how explain how someone would feel if they liked another more than a friend. I thought and thought and thought. And then, Sasuke popped up in my mind. This Sasuke wasn't broken and beaten up. He was normal. Perfect. The feelings I felt when I was around him and saw him came back. The dream I had of him came back to me. "When you like someone more than a friend, you want to be close to them all the time. You want to get to know them more. You want to make them laugh and smile. You want to make them happy."
Shino and Kiba looked at each other, then smiled. I noticed how soft Kiba's eyes became when he looked at Shino. Kiba likes Shino more than a friend. Shino likes Kiba more than a friend.
Benedykt likes me more than a friend.
But I don't like Benedykt.
"Shino," I started. "I don't know what to say to him."
"Tell him that you don't like him like that."
"What if he gets mad or gets violent?"
Kiba laughed. "Benedykt? Violent? That's never going to happen."
"Could one of you be close by at least?" I was really nervous.
"Okay. We'll both be outside the room in the hall." Shino said, sitting up, then standing. Stretched and yawned. "Come one, Kiba." Kiba muttered curses as he was pulled up to his feet by Shino. I led the way back inside.
-
"Naruto!" Benedykt cried as I walked back into the room. I couldn't believe that he was still in the room, on my mattress, too.
"Have… Have you been waiting here the whole time?"
"Yes." He smile a big smile. My legs felt weak. Benedykt bounced up and down on my mattress and for the first time, I actually looked him over.
His face was round like a little child. His voice was really high pitched. His eyes were big and round like a child's. When he stood next to me, he was at least a whole head shorter than me.
"Benedykt, how old are you?"
"At least ten. Maybe eleven. That's what Bernard told me, anyway."
From what Chlodna Pani told me, I was at least fifteen.
"Excuse me." I slipped out of the room. "Shino, fifteen is bigger than ten and eleven right?"
"Yeah."
"Is it bad if a ten or eleven year old likes a fifteen year old?"
"It may be…"
I stepped back into the room. Benedykt was still there, waiting patiently like always.
"Benedykt, it's really cute that you like me and you want to be with me, but I don't like you back." It was really cute when I thought about it.
"You don't like me?" Benedykt's eyes somehow got bigger and tears started to fill them.
"Not like how you like me." The boy's head drooped down. He drew imaginary circles on the floor with his foot. "We can only be friends, okay? We can hang out every once in a while, okay?" He nodded solemnly. This wasn't as bad nor hard as I thought it would be.
"Now, may I get to my mattress so I can finally go back to sleep?" I nodded, smiling apologetically. I watched him as he walked awkwardly to the door. When he finally walked out the room, I pulled off my shirt and stripped down to my underwear. I fished some shorts out of my backpack (I always keep shorts with me for trips to the river), and stretched, finally winding down.
"I still like you even though you don't like me." Benedykt's voice whispered from behind me. I felt him press his face to my back. He wrapped his thin arms around my waist. "One day, I'll be old enough to be with you."
"My God…" I muttered.
For the next four days, Benedykt would stalk me and give me his extra pastries or candy. I woke up one morning with him staring right me. I swear I almost pissed myself…
"I still like you, Naruto."
"You'll like me one day."
"We're going to be together forever."
What was with this kid?
One night, all the boys sat in a circle (or something like it) in the main living area and just talked and laughed and played games. It was here that I noticed the pair of people that are always together. Shino and Kiba, like always. Shikamaru and Chouji. The others just kind of mingled a little bit with everyone except for Gaara. He didn't talk to anyone really, didn't really mingle with anyone. But Rock Lee always found his way over to Gaara. Gaara would sometimes talk to him and other times, he just ignored the poor boy completely. This seemed to not bother him at all. He would just sit next to Gaara, enjoying the company.
And before I got paired up with Benedykt, he would always be with the other three lesser known boys, Bernard, Dominik, and Jan. They would sit in a corner together chatting about whatever. And Benedykt would never really say anything. He would laugh quietly every now and again.
Well, after my observing, I happened to notice that Benedykt was nowhere to be seen. After the many times he's jumped on me (more like attacked me) from behind, I was afraid to look behind me, but I did anyway.
And I'm glad I did.
Because he was coming in real fast, getting ready to pounce on me. I scooted to the side two spaces and held my arm out. His eyes grew big as he saw what I was doing and tried to slow down, but it was too late. He tripped over my arm and nearly flew all the way to the other end of the room.
"Dammit! Leave me alone! I don't like you!" I screamed.
It was quiet as everyone took in what was happening. In the corner, Bernard's face was turning red with anger.
"Benedykt! How could you?!" Bernard yelled at him. "You're turning into them!"
"Them?" Kiba questioned and looked over to Shino and Shikamaru. They boy shrugged.
"Them! You!" He pointed to Shino and Kiba. "And you!" He pointed then to Chouji and Shikamaru. "You demons!"
"Demons?" Rock Lee looked down at his trembling fingers. Tears welled up in his dark eyes. I started towards him, but Gaara was already there, not exactly hugging him or comforting him, just sitting close to him. He put Rock Lee's hand on his knee, and placed his own hands on the other knee and rested his head on top of them.
"You! The blond boy!" Bernard called out. "What have you done to my brother?!"
I shook my head. "I don't understand."
"Do you think this is right?"
"Is what right?"
"Don't play dumb! Do you think it is right for a boy to like another boy like this?!" It was silent. The air got heavy and tense. Akamaru let out a throaty, drawn-out whine.
Was it right?
"Bernard. Benedykt. You two are banned from our group. You two are to stay away from us and our haven." Shino stated firmly. The two brothers were pushed out the door.
"Does Benedykt have to be banned? He didn't do anything wrong." I whispered to Shikamaru.
"No, he didn't have to be. But he wanted to be with his brother."
Shino waited until they were out of sight before closing the door. He sighed heavily.
"Troublesome…" Shikamaru stretched. Shino started upstairs, Shikamaru following suit.
"Wait," I called softly. The two boys turned around. "Was… It is right?"
"Naruto…"
"It's right, isn't it?"
"There's no right nor is there a wrong. If you only have feelings for boys and nothing else, then it's just that. If you only have feelings for girls and nothing else, then it's just that. And if you have feelings for both boys and girls, then it's just that. There's nothing wrong with liking a boy and you too are a boy." Shino explained gently.
"And it's the same with girls." Shikamaru added.
"Girls can like other girls, too?" They both nodded.
"Does it bother you that Shikamaru and I like boys?"
"Not at all." I assured. "I thought it was a normal, everyday thing."
"It is a normal thing."
"Are you okay now?" Shikamaru asked. I nodded and they smiled and continued on up stairs.
I went to bed that night feeling easy and relieved. I danced in my dreams with one I liked, even if he was a total stuck-up bastard.
