When Emma came into the room, David gestured for her not to speak, because he knew she had come to check on Allan.
They were all poring over the information Allan got from the Steel Syndicate. David did not know how the syndicate came into possession of the construction drawings of Nagapur's aqueducts - probably not by legal means - but he did not ask. The information was received last night and this was the first time David had a chance to look at them. He was still in his uniform, but he had removed the jacket and hung it on the back of a chair; tonight was going to be a long night.
Emma stepped outside briefly. David vaguely heard her getting someone to bring them tea and biscuits. When she returned with the tray, the room was still silent, with Allan, Torgal and David reviewing the drawings individually for the time being. When Emma poured tea and passed it to Allan, he passed it to Torgal, ignoring the looks of surprise from everyone. Or perhaps he didn't realise since he did not look up.
After making sure everyone got a cup of tea, Emma left them alone. She had her own work to do.
"You guys ever thought about putting up some signs? I got lost again!" The door clicked open. The relief was almost audible as Rush came in and easily broke the tense atmosphere. He was wearing different clothes from earlier on in the day and his hair looked a bit wet. He must have returned to his suite for a shower rather than lost his way. "How's it going?"
Torgal looked up. "There is only one formal entrance into the aqueducts, from Nordenalm." He looked through the drawings, pulled one out from the pile that showed the whole of the aqueducts and laid it on top, a finger pointing at the entrance he was referring to. "It leads to the central sluiceway. To its northeast is the east waterway control, with the abandoned west control opposite. From here, it goes north to the third channel - the first and second have both collapsed a century ago and are supposedly not accessible."
"Uh huh." Rush looked at the drawing, nodding. "Does this go anywhere?" He pointed at a corridor to the north of the central sluiceway, at the edge of the drawing. "Looks like it should go somewhere."
Allan got hold of a different drawing and pushed it at Rush's direction. It said "disposal tank" and had the word CONFIDENTIAL stamped across it. There was an unlabelled exit on the east side. Before Rush asked, Torgal pulled out a map of Nagapur's city centre.
"Checking its coordinates against the map," he said, "that exit is located under Wyrmskeep."
Rush breathed in sharply.
"My lord, may I share my thoughts so far?"
David glanced at Rush briefly. He had thought about this and decided Rush shouldn't be here, but he wanted to listen to Torgal now. "Go on."
Torgal nodded. "The aqueducts are mostly linear and the walkable areas are around ten metres wide. There will be no point in separating into groups to conduct the search. It will be a case of storming into the area and fighting our way through. If Allan's child is there we will definitely encounter him. I suggest taking no more than twenty men with us. We can take another hundred but only for the castle assault after the rescue."
Whilst David considered this, Rush asked, "why so few people for the aqueducts?"
"The space is too small. A larger group puts us at an disadvantage, especially because Allan and I fight better with more room."
"And that number of people is already a large enough group to raise suspicions when entering Nagapur. We need to send some of the men on their way now. As for the three of us, our faces are known. We need to find a way to get into Nagapur," David said.
"Siebenbur," said Allan and Torgal at the same time. They exchanged a look, and Torgal explained, "we have mapped out all seven paths of Siebenbur many years ago. We can use that to enter Nagapur."
There was much more to Torgal than what met the eye - David always knew this. But no one had ever been known to manage to visit all the Siebenbur paths, much less map them out. No one even knew how many paths there were and how they all connected.
Rush expressed the shock that David also felt. "You guys mapped out all the Siebenbur paths? Seriously? Seven paths? People've only found three!"
Torgal spoke as if that was not a special achievement. "They were all monster-infested, however."
"They are exactly as they were eighty years ago," Allan pointed out, contributing to the conversation for the first time tonight. "Rush, are you coming with us or not?"
"Well I've always assumed I am..."
All eyes fell on David, who knew the question would come up at some point, fiends or no fiends.
"I cannot express how much it means to me that you wish to offer your blade, but no, Rush. I cannot allow you to take part in this. I'm sorry."
Perhaps it wasn't the response any of them was expecting. David saw Rush's eyes turn cold, and it felt like what he had done earlier, cornering Rush until he got that chance to apologise, had been in vain. Rush probably wasn't going to forgive him for this.
"Why?"
"You know the reasons." David tried his best, but he knew he still sounded standoffish and arrogant.
"This is about me never having killed anyone, right?"
"That, and the fact that you are not from Athlum. This is not your battle."
Rush's form stiffened. "As far as I know this whole thing isn't just about Athlum. And I will kill if that's what I need to do!"
"This is war. You won't be able to select your opponent." David heard his voice getting unsteady. It wasn't that he was losing patience or getting angry, it was the emotion of having to talk about such things with someone he felt so much for, and having to turn him down on what he clearly wanted to do very much despite the dangers. "Even if you are willing to kill, you will hesitate in that split second when everything matters and you will lose your life. I will not allow you to do this knowing that your death will be certain."
If Rush would hate him for saying this then so be it. It was better for Rush to live and hate him than for he to stand before Rush's grave and not able to look at Rush's family in the eye.
They held each other's gaze for a while. Rush was the first to look away and, without another word, he walked back a step, then turned, heading for the door.
"Rush, forgive me."
"It's fine." His hand on the door, Rush turned his head and smile at David. "It's hard to stomach but... I know you're doing this for me. I'll be alright."
Rush left, and silence took his place. After a moment, Allan scowled. "We'll replace him with someone from Celapaleis."
David, realising that he had once again underestimated Rush's forgiveness, and somewhat surprised that Rush gave up with hardly a fight, just nodded.
They resumed their discussion, making plans for the other thing they would do in Nagapur - take Hermeien's head. If they failed, it would be impossible to retreat, so this was a succeed-or-die-trying mission. David had the confidence he would be successful. Whether or not he could return before his father uses the Gae Bolg, however, he did not know. Plans were in place and had been reviewed for more times than he could count, but battlefields were ever-changing; there could be any number of reasons for his father to choose to use the Gae Bolg early.
If young Torgal's conditions permitted, Allan would go with them to Wyrmskeep to issue his own vengeance on Hermeien. If he disagreed with David's decision to take Rush out of the group, he didn't show it. In fact, he said very little during the night and agreed with most of Torgal's suggestions. It didn't seem like something had happened between them in the afternoon, because Torgal looked just as surprised, but David didn't ask, nor did he know how to. Whatever Allan knew, he discovered or realised on his own.
It was two hours before sunrise when Emma reappeared and swiftly kicked everyone out, cursing how men were all the same no matter what race or age they were. The men refrained from pointing out that Emma had clearly stayed up late as well.
David intended to rise early the next day for some private time with Rush before the world crowded itself into his life again, with plans and strategies from last night to finalise and an execution in the evening, but by the time he woke from a fitful sleep it was already past breakfast hour. Someone must have told the others to let him sleep. Annoyed yet grateful at the same time, David sought Rush out, half-expecting he to already be on his way to the barracks but finding him in the audience chamber instead, with his father and a few unfamiliar faces.
"David!" His father waved him over.
"Lord father," David greeted. "I'm sorry for my absence this morning..."
"It's all right. Emma told me about it. Come and meet Rush's family. This is John and Marina. And the little one is Irina."
"It is a pleasure to meet you all." Why was Rush's family here? When were they invited and why didn't he know about this? "It is thanks to Rush that I can stand here today. There are no words that can express my gratitude enough."
Pleasantries were exchanged. Rush's family seemed to be very decent people. A close-knit family who understood one another very well, they were not at all surprised when they were told of what Rush had done.
Lord Rolan told David "the ceremony" would take place in an hour. David had no idea what ceremony was being referred to - it could not possibly be the execution in the evening - but he didn't want to look totally ignorant in front of all these people so he nodded and later on located Pagus to get the details.
"I thought you would have been the first to know!" Pagus looked up at his lord, wide-eyed. "The boy changed his mind about receiving the knighthood. It was decided the ceremony should take place before we march, which doesn't leave us many dates to choose from."
David covered his mouth with a hand. Had he been preempted? Rush couldn't possibly be doing this so that he could take part in the war, could he? Had he already guessed David's position on the matter before the discussion last night?
"My lord? Are you all right?"
"Yes..." David's hand lowered slowly. "Where is he now?"
"Catching up with his family, presumably."
He didn't get to speak to Rush before the ceremony, a solemn affair without any extravagance. Not an Athlumian, Rush was not required to pledge his service, but he did it, swearing his loyalty to Lord David Nassau, letting his lips touch the tip of David's blade as he did so. Knowing what the future held for Lord Rolan and because of what Rush had done for David, he was to be appointed David's knight.
Holding out his sword, the Valeria Heart, and watching Rush bend knee to it, made David's mind whirl. How had they come to this? Not three weeks ago, he was on a train and a young man came to his cabin because someone who smelled bad was in the cabin where he originally sat. Now the young man was in front of him and swearing his blade to him. This was lunacy.
"Rise, Rush Sykes."
"Yes, my lord."
But even this did not mean he would definitely leave with David or march with the army, because David could still deny him the opportunity. If this was Rush's way to show his conviction, then David would show him his, as well.
The ceremony was over. David took Rush out to the gallery, where Torgal made the official announcement to the public gathered outside that Rush Sykes, of Eulam Island, had been appointed a Knight of Athlum for the aid he had provided Lord David in the direst of situations along with one other, who wished not to be named.
Cheers erupted from the crowd, but David could not share that joy. When the whole thing drew to a close, he took Rush to the reading room.
As soon as the door was shut, he spun around, eyes boring into Rush's. "Have you lost your mind?"
"I knew you wouldn't let me go with you." Rush put a hand on his hip. "People change and grow up. This isn't just about you. I want to defend what's right. It's what I want to do with my life."
"Is what you want to do with your life to throw it away?" David wanted to scream. Few people and events had ever made him feel this way but lately it was happening more and more often. Rush was too good at making him feel helpless.
"Dave," Rush took a step closer, "I'm not stupid, okay? I've thought really hard about this and I've talked to my family as well. If I think I can't do it then I wouldn't have signed myself up... you look like you want to hit me."
Realising that he was clenching his fists, David forced himself to relax, feeling pain where his fingernails dug into his palms. "I would if I could beat some sense into that thick skull of yours," he said, shaking his head and laughing sadly at the way Rush still managed to find humour in such a situation. "My knight or not," gosh, his knight. Rush was his knight, "I will not permit you to go to Nagapur with me or march with my father."
"I know," said Rush. "But I'll prove to you I'm ready for this. I'll make you change your mind."
"Nothing will change my mind."
"We'll see."
Shaking his head, David left Rush and resumed his work with Torgal and Allan, concentrating on how they would take Wyrmskeep. The layout of Wyrmskeep was a subject thoroughly researched as a collaborative effort by Athlum, Celapaleis and Ghor. Spies sent by Celapaleis had confirmed that Hermeien was residing in the castle, with no plans to venture out for the duration of the battles with Ghor.
They had until tonight to finalise all plans, and then they had to brief the troops tomorrow. In the initial plans drawn up several years ago, Athlum and Celapaleis were going to march together, with divisions of troops breaking away from the main group to take Nagapur before Hermeien could react. This was no longer possible without Celapaleis, which had taken over the role of defence and creating diversions and panic using its navy. With the excuse that logistics wasn't his strength and that he knew nothing about weapons of war, Allan took a back seat and let Torgal advice David on the types of siege weapons that could be taken down Siebenbur, in case the two agents inside the castle were not able to open the gates for them. Such a method of castle siege was far from glorious, and it may even be seen as dishonourable, but that was something for history to decide. David wasn't doing this in order to be hailed as a hero.
When they finished, it was surprisingly early still. The long nights had paid off; they could have the rest of the day to themselves after the execution at sunset.
There were three types of crime that were punishable by death in Athlum: rape, murder and treason. Athlum's executioner was the bearer of the Valeria Heart, a sword which was passed to David on the day he came of age, a sword which he loved for its beauty and hated for its constant reminder that the work to eliminate evil would never be complete.
Perhaps there was such a thing as necessary evil. David did not feel he had had enough life experience to allow him to deny this. But as he took the steps down to the dungeon which held the man who poisoned his father, as his heart grew colder, he knew the evil he was about to face had no place in Athlum, or anywhere at all.
The trial had taken place before David's return to Athlum, but this was the first time he laid eyes on the man. On the other side of the bars, the man's hands and feet were bound, his mouth gagged. He sat in the back of his cell, leaning against the stone wall. When he heard footsteps, he lifted his face. David observed him. At the public hearing this man did not deny his attempt to poison Lord Rolan, nor did he show any regret.
Looking at him, minutes before he would give him his death, David felt despair. He would enjoy killing this man. David knew he would love the feeling of his blade slicing through flesh, tendons and bones, the sound of the head landing on the floor and rolling.
David also knew he must never, ever enjoy the act of killing, even if it was someone who poisoned his father. The moment he felt joy through killing would be the beginning of a downward spiral; many great men had become beasts this way.
As if he sensed David's emotional changes, the man grinned at him.
"Take him out," David told the guards.
The execution was to take place on a platform in front of the castle, built specifically for this purpose. Lord Rolan, the Generals, Rush and even Allan were there. Rush's family had gone home long ago, with work to get on with and a house-build to manage.
The crowds, unlike those which gathered for Rush this morning, jeered and shouted insults when the man they came to see appeared, led by guards and made to kneel at the centre of the platform. Someone - David didn't see who - read out the name of the man, which he didn't hear, the guilty verdict of treason against the country, and the execution sentence.
Most of the talking was muted by the sound of blood rushing in David's ears and the pounding of his heart. He had killed many people in his life but never had he felt this way before, not even the first time he killed someone in battle.
His father came to stand beside him, as did Rush.
"Dave, your sword."
His head spinning, David let Rush take Valeria Heart from him. But it wasn't until Rush walked to the centre of the platform with it that David realised what was happening.
Valeria Heart was raised, then brought down swiftly, drawing a silver arc against the red sky.
The man's head rolled on the platform.
Rush's footsteps were light but solid. He walked back to David and gave him back his sword. As David's knight, he was allowed to execute criminals with the Lord's permission. And perhaps this was the right thing to do for a new knight, to cement his pledge of service and gain the people's confidence in him. But this should not have been Rush's job. Rush should not have stained his hands this way.
"That should have been my duty," David muttered with a voice so low only those standing near him could hear.
"Your duty is to protect this country, not necessarily to kill."
But how about his duty as his father's son?
"Rush is right, vengeance gets you nowhere. What you need to do is move forward." Lord Rolan said then, putting a hand on David's shoulder, "I'm proud of you. You realised you couldn't do this without tainting your heart. You stand tall where many great men had fallen."
"Father..."
The man's body and severed head were taken away. David felt a nudge.
"Let's go back inside. The crowd might enjoy watching the feeding to the beasts, but dinner is waiting and I don't want my appetite ruined."
Dinner followed straight after the execution. Allan did not join them for the meal. Having never developed mitras' taste for dessert, Torgal excused himself from the table after the main course. David wondered if he was going to check on Allan.
Lord Rolan seemed to be in great spirits and would not allow his son to leave the table sober, little did he know that years of drinking with Emma had helped David develop an impressive tolerance for alcohol. David allowed himself to enjoy drinking with his father, knowing time was running short for them.
Two hours after dessert, Lord Rolan admitted defeat. "You know you're old when your son can out-drink you!"
He allowed the servants to take him back to his chambers. David followed behind, said goodnight and then went to the guest wing, but Rush was nowhere to be found.
"He still lives, I can feel it. I rather wonder what has become of his captors - he has your name but not your patience." A short laugh. "Nor your wisdom, come to think of it. I haven't done well with his upbringing."
David stopped when he heard voices. For a while he couldn't work out where they came from, so vast and complicated were the corridors and footpaths of this castle that sounds often echoed in strange ways.
"Bringing up a child on your own is not an easy task, especially for our race."
"You speak from experience? Have you any children?"
"No..."
"And you haven't taken a wife all these years?"
"I have not the time."
Finally identifying the direction where Allan and Torgal's voices came from, David went the opposite way, trying to do the right thing even though curiosity burned in his chest. He ended up at the inner garden, where he spotted Emma tending to the flowers.
"Lord David," Emma stood and greeted when he approached, studying his face with a wry smile. "You are looking for Rush?"
There was no point in denying, so David nodded.
"He went with Pagus to the library, saying that he wants to learn more about his duties as your knight. You'd think he would have done that before accepting the knighthood."
"We seem to often do things backwards," said David. Rush's learning of his new duties, the way their relationship developed, and even how he dealt his father death before they had any opportunity to treat one another as family - the order of everything in their lives right now seemed to be in reverse.
Emma didn't look like she knew what David was referring to, but she also had other things on her mind. "I'd like to go and see if Allan has had something to eat. By your leave..." she brushed her hands together, shaking soil away.
"He and Torgal are at the west side. I saw them on my way here."
"I see. Perhaps I should wait, then."
"I'm not sure about what to do; they could choose to talk somewhere more private, yet they do not, even though it doesn't feel right to walk into their conversation," said David, thinking of that time in the village when Allan erupted in front of Torgal until Torgal eventually walked out. David had been in the same room all that time, recuperating after using the Gae Bolg.
"I believe Torgal is avoiding having to talk in private, my lord."
David had the same feeling. He recalled what he heard earlier. "If Torgal continues to serve Athlum, he will continue to be alone." Sovanis were a reclusive race; as long as Torgal lived in the public eye he would never be able to find a partner.
"That is his choice."
"It may be. But just now I heard him say to Allan that he does not have the time to search for a wife."
At that, Emma actually chuckled. "Oldest trick in the book." When David looked confused, she explained, "you might never have been turned down for a date, but have you never said the same thing to turn people down when you are in fact not interested?"
David thought about it. "Ah, I see."
"People have different ambitions and ideals. For Torgal perhaps life is about something else."
Then what was it about?
Emma looked past his shoulder. "There he is. I guess Pagus has finally let him go." Rush was coming over. She eyed her lord. "I guess I won't need to check that the two of you go to bed on time tonight."
There was no reason for David to feel embarrassed, but his face reddened anyway. "Emma!"
"If this was a century ago, both you and Rush would have been executed whether your love was reciprocated or not - to love or be loved by one of your own sex was socially and morally unacceptable," she said, taking her leave. "But the times are different now. I am happy for you, Lord David, truly. Please do not only treasure your love, but also treasure the freedom to love."
David watched her leave, nodding to Rush as they passed each other. He waved at her, fingers wriggling in the air.
She meant... did she mean...
Allan must have already realised, hence his subdued behaviour since yesterday.
It was none of David's business but he felt his heart break, just the same.
