LEARNING FRENCH
AnniKay
Sam/Mercedes/Puck
Disclaimer: I own Nothing…Murphy, Falchuk, and Brennen along with Fox and others own this fandom and all the characters there in…Anything you recognize obviously belongs to the,
(As you can tell because they made the silly decision to not make Chord a permanent part of the cast)
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Chapter12
Sam Point of View
I really thought today was going to be great. I mean, it started with watching Mercedes have an orgasm. Unfortunately it would seem that that was to be the only bright spot to my Thursday. First period I had a substitute with absolutely no classroom management skills. I usually would just find something like that an opportunity to veg out and text Puck and 'Cedes. Today, however, I ended up having to listen to the masses discuss our relationship.
"Evans, You and Puckerman are two of the hottest guys at McKinley. Why the hell are you fighting over the fatty?" one anorexic Barbie looking bitch finally got the nerve to ask after she and her friends accidentally on purpose let me over hear their conversation for the first fifteen minutes of class.
I decided to take the high road and ignore the barking dog. I have a feeling that she never really learned the concept of sharing too well anyway. "She must be really good in bed." The moron behind me said sotto voice. "No one cares what a chick looks like if she can suck the chrome off a bumper. "See this is the problem with ignoring stupidity; the dumb get no chance to learn from the mistakes of their peers.
I turned in my seat and fixed the asshole with a glare. "I cannot hit the chicken head over there. All I can do to her is pray that God will not let her reproduce so her stupidity isn't spread to later generations. But you…you are male I can do whatever I want to you. So let me give you this one warning. I will rip your tongue out of your head and beat you to death with it if you ever and I mean EVER again in your miserable God-forsaken life talk about my girlfriend like that."
The douchebag is apparently smarter than I would have given him credit for. Because he shut the hell up. The idiot girl earlier was dumb enough to look smug since I said I couldn't hit her. But before she could belly back up to the bar; another voice decided to ring into the conversation. "So, Evans, what do you and Puckerman both bang the fat chick, or do you just bang each other while she watches?" Miscellaneous Hockey playing idiot chimed in. who the hell has a mullet in 2011, for God's sake.
"What's wrong, Jealous?" I taunted back. "You know you really aren't my type. Puck's either. And Mercedes thinks hockey is the biggest waste of time since golf. I'm really starting to think the dudes in this school are all closet cases. You torment Kurt just because he's gay-which only really makes sense if you are envious of the fact that he is out and proud while you are still shuttered in the dark. Not one of you sees how beautiful Mercedes Jones is. Instead all of you are chasing a bunch of anorexic or bulimic stick figures that barely have breasts. Something is seriously wrong in this place." I ranted. "Besides how is it any of your business what the hell goes on in my relationship. You don't see me caring what the hell goes on between you and your pre-pubescent boy shaped moron you are 'banging'." I added with a snarl. "You know what, why don't you, Puck and I meet you at the park near here afterschool and you can ask us your questions there."
I bet you Puck isn't having to deal with this bullshit. I felt a smile spread across my face as I began to imagine how I could deal with it if we weren't at school.
Puck Point of View
"Jewfro, if you don't stop staring at me, I'm gonna be forced to revisit my Dumpster Dumping past." I growled. The most annoying of all my fellow Jews has been staring at me all freaking class.
"I just don't get it. You were the McKinley Jews answer to Shia LaBeouf." He started whining. "You could be dating Santana Lopez, or Quinn Fabray, or the lovely Jewess Rachel Berry. Instead you are dating the aptly named Mercedes Jones. I mean she's as big as a Mercedes."
I gave him a hard look. Jacob Ben Israel knows better than to step to me. Much less question me. I'm thinking of hitting him but I want to know where his sudden dose of courage came from. Before I could say anything he continued.
"I mean, not only are you dating the hoopty girl, but you are sharing her with the ultimate goy-boy, Sam Evans…are you really that self-hating?" he had the nerve to ask.
"Alright, that's it Jewfro." I yelled reaching out and grabbing him by his freaky clown hair. Usually I would never pull a bitch move like hair grabbing…but I really fucking hate his hair.
"Mr. Puckerman!" the teacher shouts at me.
I looked up and stood. I dragged JBI to the front. "This asshole is talking shit about Mercedes, Mr. Robertson. I can't just let that go."
"Fine…take it out of the classroom." Our teacher said calming considerably.
Jacob looked ready to piss himself. "You can't just let him do this. You're a teacher."
Mr. Robertson looked thoughtful. "I am a teacher; I'm also a member of the same church as Mercedes Jones and her family. I am also the husband of a singer in that church's choir most often lead by Mercedes Jones. I am also a veteran teacher, who is retiring at the end of this year. I am a teacher who believes that it is about time someone teaches you that there are consequences for running your mouth all the time, and espousing your opinions to the detriment of those around you. You are a senior in high school and yet you are still senseless enough to insult someone right in front of a person who cares about them. You need to get your butt handed to you." He returns sagely.
I pulled Jacob out of the room and flung him hard against the lockers. "Now…what you want to say about my boo Mercedes?"
"Nothing, nothing at all. She's beautiful and curvaceous and fiery and dangerous. Please don't tell her I what I said in the classroom. I knew this was a bad idea. But it's not my fault. My Bubbie Syl is coming, I was desperate." He whined. "Can we just pretend this never happened; or barring that, can you just kill me now? Mercedes scares me a lot more than you. You're just violent…Mercedes; she gets creative. "
"Then why step to me like this. Why talk shit about Mama if you are so scared of her?" this shit is making no sense to me.
"It was all Rachel's fault. See my Bubbie Syl is coming next week, and I told her that I have a sweetheart and maybe I told her it was a nice Jewish girl. Well Rachel agreed to pretend to be my girlfriend in front of my Bubbie. She, Rachel, not my Bubbie, has this plan that if she can come between you and your threesome; really cool by the way; then she can have her solo back at your completion this weekend." He babbled. I don't understand why I like it when Sam babbles like that but it irritates the dog shit out of me when Jewfro does it.
I have never hit a female, but I'm certainly capable of punishing one. "What class does she have now?" I ground out. Ben Israel must have seen Rachel's torture and dismemberment in my face, because he hesitated. So I pulled him out and slammed him back into the lockers. "She doesn't deserve your loyalty. She threw you under the bus. She knows I won't hit her because she is a girl. But you, I can beat all day long." I calmly took off his glasses and put them in his pocket. Then I pulled back and let my fist fly, I caught him in his right eye. "Yeah I can do this all day. Even if someone writes me up…I'll let Dr. Jones know why I punched you, and he'll smooth things over with my mom. Since Mama's Dad and my mom would be cool with me beating anyone who hurts her, and I know Sam's parents will be good with it too. I'm fucking golden. See the Doctors Jones are pretty fucking tired of how the students of McKinley High have been treating their beautiful baby girl." Shit gotta watch saying those two words together anymore. Just the thought of her being my shaved, naughty little Babygirl gets me hot. "So tell me what I want to know. it's not like we don't both know that you know Rachel's class schedule, and her menstrual schedule, and her freakin BM schedule; you've been stalking her for years." I cocked back a fist, ready to catch that other buggy eye.
"She's in Mrs. Harris' Econ class. C-31." He blurted out as he flinched.
"Thanks." I said with a smirk. When he relaxed, I punched him dead in the mouth. "Keep my girl's name out of your mouth." I said before I grabbed his weeping and wailing ass back into the classroom.
"Mr. Robertson, I need a pass." I asked politely. For the first time in history he didn't ask why, he just gestured to the pass hanging next to the door. I grabbed it and hauled ass to C hall. I cut through the breezeway and was able to make it there in half the time. I knocked politely, and asked charmingly, "Mrs. Harris, may I please speak with Rachel for a moment?"
Rachel gave me a smug shining smile. I cannot believe that she is this dumb. Is she really clueless enough to think her bullshity plan actually had a chance of working? We adjourned into the hall. "Good morning, Noah, what can I help you with?" She said brightly.
"You can help by keeping your stupid dog on a leash before I neuter his ass." I growl. "You can start by growing the fuck up. What the hell do you think you are doing? Are you really so desperate to hog the fucking spotlight that you would destroy everyone's chance at Nationals? Because you have neither the ability nor the intellect to fuck up what Mercedes, Sam and I are building. But your stunt almost got me suspended for beating Jacob Ben Israel's jewfro having ass."
"Oh please; like you or anyone else; could or would possibly be building a relationship with Mercedes. I mean don't get me wrong she has a nice enough voice, if you like that kind of thing…But she's not at all anyone's type really. She's not thin or pretty like Quinn and Santana and Brittany…ore even me." Rachel said snottily.
"No, you are not Sam or my type, Remember. He told you that when you asked him to prom…the only reason he said yes when you asked him the second time is because Mercedes was there and he really wanted to go with her. Mercedes is so much better than your tired ass; not only as a singer, but as a woman and as a human. You may be right. She might not be pretty but that's because she'd not simply pretty, she's fucking gorgeous. She has those amazing eyes that go from whiskey to pure black depending on her mood. She has big full lips that God made to be kissed and sucked. Made for sucking. She's not thin…thank God; because she doesn't behave as though food is bad for her. She's got big sweet tits that overflow even Sam's big ass hands…and I could spend days talking about her sexy ass hips and thighs. But as much as I cannot wait to sex her up, I will wait patiently until she is ready. You know why she is worth the wait when I couldn't be bothered to wait for any other chick? Because she isn't trying to force me to wait for some stupid rule, but because she's just not ready yet. You know what makes her better than you and Quinn and Tana? Because she isn't a self-worth less little girl playing at being a woman. She respects herself and respects others. She never feels the need to walk all over or use other people to make herself feel better. She would never pull this sophomoric bullshit on you or anyone else. Hell for the last few years she has put up with all your show boating to keep the peace in the New Directions, when have you ever done anything purely for the benefit of someone else, for no reason than someone else was in need?"
I watched as she tried to think of something. Anything. "You can't think of even one thing that didn't benefit you at least as much as it benefited the person you were helping. That's pathetic. Even I can come up with a few. And Mercedes and Sam are just plain lousy with the helping others. Mercedes she teaches Sunday school, she has pretty much taken over for Quinn when it comes to babysitting Stevie and Stacy. When Sarah had the flu, Mercedes brought her homemade chicken noodle soup. That was long before we even started dating. She donates a quarter of her allowance to charity every single week. Sam is taking care of his family helping provide for them like he was a grown ass man. As broke as they are he still makes sure to tithe for fuck's sake." I punched a locker. It really was either the locker or Rachel's stupid shocked looking face.
"Sam finally found a relationship where he can completely be himself, no need to hide huge portions of his likes and dreams. Mercedes is finally beginning to see that she is beautiful and sexy. She's finally beginning to feel the love. I'm truly happy in a mature relationship with no bullshit or drama…and you tried to ruin that for us. Why? So you could lead the New Directions at Nationals…you do realize that even if she were totally upset there is no way that Mercedes would be unprofessional enough to back out this late in the game. Not to mention that the judges at Nationals are people who actually know music, not crappy local celebrities. You don't have the chops to win at that level. You want to be Barbara, but Ms. Streisand is known for being gentle, good, kind and gracious. Not one of those words describes someone who would smile up in Mercedes face and call yourself her friend and then talk shit about her behind her back. Those words describe Mercedes; they sure as hell don't describe you." I said with a smirk. "Rachel, you need to get some counseling and some self-respect, lose the 'better than everyone else' attitude…it doesn't fly here. We are done taking it. Even Mr. Schue has had enough of your crap."
I turned to walk away, but I had another thought. "You better hope that Mercedes doesn't find out what you tried to pull today." I was satisfied to see her blanch. "At least not before I can find some way to let her know that doesn't hurt her. I'm done letting people in this damn place hurt her." I didn't realize that Rachel had left the classroom door ajar so she would have witnesses who would overhear me coming to her to I don't even know cry on her shoulder or some bullshit. Unfortunately for Rachel she shares that class with Kurt. He had crept, along with Mrs. Harris and Quinn to the door and recorded every word on his phone.
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