Quick AN:I don't know where the sudden alerts came from for this story all of sudden but it definitely kicked my butt into gear for updating. New readers, wherever you heard about my story thanks for reading.

*Made a small change last chapter. Had a typo where instead of Bella knowing Phil for 8-9 months before the incident, it's now a year. Doesn't really affect much so it's no point in re-reading but I had to fix the timeline of events*


Chapter 11

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

Hurt- Nine Inch Nails (Johnny Cash version)

"So, what are you doing?" I fought the urge to roll my eyes as Edward leaned over my shoulder.

"Ever heard of a thing called personal space?" I huffed. I turned my head and suddenly became aware of how close he was to me when my nose brushed against his chin.

"Personal space? Nah never heard of it." He grinned, winking at me.

"Yeah personal space, as in you need to be a good twenty feet away from me." I snarled, turning around quickly, causing the back of my head to hit his chin…a little roughly I might add. I smirked as he groaned in pain and began rubbing his face.

"Do you two ever stop fighting?" Samantha mumbled from beside me. I had forgotten she was here. It was our appointed day of group meeting where we all congregated here together to share our feelings and all that bullshit. Saturday. The one day I should be resting from the hellhole that is school and the masses of homework the teachers give us, here I was sitting around people I did not care for. It was just approaching 8:30, and the others looked no better than I was.

Once again, Phil woke me up at the shit crack of dawn, as he had to get here early to help Ms. Esme with whatever she needed help with, although when I got here she was nowhere to be found. I was the first one there and eventually everyone else soon trailed in afterwards.

Levi, who I later found out whose real name is Peter, was openly snoring as he slouched on the couch. Charlotte was resting her feet on his lap as she leaned back at the other end of the couch reading a magazine. Felix and Brady were stretched out on the floor in front of them, both playing some game on their phones, while Samantha and Jane sat on either side of me in a few foldable chairs. Jane was studying her nails as usual and Samantha was playing with a strand of her hair.

Our mentors had went off somewhere to talk about whatever they talk about and we were all a little relieved to be away from their eyes of scrutiny. I was enjoying my moment of peace, which was of course ruined once Edward decided to come and bother me. Edward let out a small growl and openly glared at me while rubbing his chin as he left the room.

We sat in silence again for a few minutes until Felix sat up and opened his mouth.

"Hey you guys, do you ever wonder what they do back there?" He asked.

"Probably talk about how fucked up are." Levi suddenly interrupted as he pushed Charlotte's feet off his lap and stood up.

"Now you know that's probably not true." Samantha suddenly spoke.

"Yes it is." Brady huffed. "Let's face it; we're all here because we're fucked up."

"No, maybe that why you're here. I think I'm perfectly fine." Jane huffed.

"Yeah, coming from Ms. Oxy over here, I find that hard to believe." Charlotte added.

"I know you're not talking. I bet you need a breath mint don't you, especially after all that time you spent in the bathroom." Jane grinned and Charlotte's face visibly blanched.

"Hey you guys need to chill out; it's too early for this." I moaned. It wasn't even nine yet and we were already at each other's throats.

"Of course Cut-ella has to put her two cents in." Charlotte glared. I immediately got on the defense. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"She means we all know that cast on your arm isn't for fashions purposes. It's not that hard to put two and two together Miss Razor-Blade." Levi continued.

"Well maybe you should mind your own business, as if you don't reek of "grass" all the time." I scowled.

"Why don't you make me?" He grinned and I fought the urge to take my shoe off and throw it at him. While the statement may have been true, he had no right to be in my business.

"Why don't I shove my foot up your…" I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Phil hovering over me with a blank look on his face as the other trailed in behind him.

Esme walked into the middle of the room and spoke. "Hello everyone, how are you guys doing this morning?" She asked. The tension was so thick you could slice it with a knife as we all refused to look at one another or say anything. Noticing the grim expressions on our faces, Esme let out a small sigh before continuing with a smile.

"Okay, so today I'm going to switch things up a bit. Usually, we would have a huge group outing where we get together and do something but today is going to be a little different. Our goal is to get to know you better. Of course at the end of it all, your primary mentor will know you best," I rolled my eyes at that one. It would be a cold day in hell, before Edward got to know me on that kind of level. I zoned out the rest of Esme's rambling, startling suddenly when Alice bounced over to me and grabbed my hand. I looked around suddenly and noticed everyone going off in various directions with different mentors, including Edward who had walked off with that asshole Levi.

"What is this?" I asked, nearly tripping over my feet as Alice pulled me towards the patio outside. She practically dragged me out the door and must have felt my hesitation when she released my hand and turned to look at me.

"You're mine for the next thirty minutes." Alice grinned, her grey eyes twinkling with mischief. My face must have showed my confusion as she sighed and began to explain.

"For the next three hours or so, in rotation, each mentor is going to get thirty minutes with you, so we can get to know you on a personal level etc. etc. etc. Anything you say will be strictly confidential of course, unless there is any concern on our part. This process will continue until you end with your primary mentor where we will eventually regroup and get any last minute formalities out the way. Now enough with this explaining, I'm wasting my time with you." Alice rambled, and all I could do was blink at her. I don't think she took a breath in that entire explanation. Alice continued to grin and pulled me towards one of the glass tables and chairs near a garden in the back. I sat on one side while Alice sat on the other. She looked at me expectedly. When I didn't say anything, Alice stared at me with wide eyes and began tapping her purple painted nails on the table.

"Okay I'll start. Once again, my name is Alison Brandon although I prefer to go by Alice, but you can call me Ally, Al, or whatever floats your boat, just not Alison because it's a mouthful and I hate it. I'm twenty three years old and I've been here with the WTF program for the past several years." She rambled. I continued to sit there in silence.

"My favorite color is purple as you can see," she gestured to the flecks of purple in her inky hair and wiggled her nails at me. "I love to draw and it's a passion of mine, Um, I initially became a part of this program as a participant myself when I was sixteen." Alice continued.

"What did you come here for?" I asked suddenly.

"Ah, so she speaks… but tsk, tsk, we will get to that later. Tell me about you." Alice pushed.

"Don't you know enough about me already; I mean I know you've seen my file already." I added. I rested my head in my hand and looked at her. Her smile fell from her face for a second but resumed its place on her face after a moment.

"While that may be true, I want to hear you personally tell me about yourself I don't want to get to know you from a piece of paper. Let me hear your voice." She pushed.

"There's nothing really to tell. I'm pretty boring." I replied. Alice looked at me for another moment and began running her fingers through her hair distractedly. The smile fell from her face once more.

"Listen Bella, I know I'm pushing the envelope a little here. I know you don't know me from Adam, and don't feel like sharing with me but I would really appreciate it if you would try to help me out." She pleaded solemnly. I didn't reply. "Now we have about ten minutes left and I would really appreciate it if you told me a few things about yourself before our time is up.," she pleaded.

I took a moment to gather my thoughts. Out of everyone here, Alice had been the nicest to me especially when came to see if I was okay the day at the fair, the least I could do was tell her a few things about the life I lived before it all went to shit.

"I used to play the piano, it was a great pastime of mine and I also like to read." I answered.

"Reading is a good hobby to have. Do you have any favorites?" She asked gently.

"Um, my favorite book is Wuthering Heights".

"Really? What an interesting choice. Do mind explaining why?" She asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Most people hate it, but I think it's a tragic love tale but almost beautiful in the sense that not even death can separate the love they shared." I admitted darkly as my thoughts began to shift elsewhere. Death and love seemed to go hand in hand these days. Alice patted my hand encouragingly.

"See that wasn't so hard now was it?" She finished, both our heads turning when the patio door slides open and the tall blonde ponytail man James walks out.

"I guess our time is up for now, though I'm pretty sure I'll be talking to you again very soon. I'm glad I learned something new from you." She cheered, before getting up and skipping, yes skipping back inside the house. The rotation continued, passing through awkward glances and words between James and Sasha, and Emmett followed soon afterwards.

I admit, just basing it off looks alone, Emmett's appearance was definitely intimidating and something I would not associate myself with. Standing over six feet, definitely good six or seven inches taller than Edward's 6'2 frame with bulging muscles, he appeared deadly and criminal. Emmett gave off the vibe that commanded a room and made you want to run for the hills just at the sight of him.

That stereotype I created went out the window as soon as he flopped down in the seat in front of me and smiled. With large baby blues and dimples in each cheek, he was just incredibly friendly and was almost brotherly in his approach of speaking to me. He was practically a big kid, telling me about his favorite games and football teams. I noticed that he had visible track marks along both of his arms from wrist to shoulder. They were faded, showing the lasting impression of a disease long gone. When our thirty minutes were up, I was kind of sad to see him go.

Rosalie walked out to me after him. She had this almost motherly vibe to her. Rosalie just had that façade to her. She seemed to be extremely nurturing and was asking about my wants and needs out of life. Looking at Rosalie, there was no doubt that she was a beautiful woman. You would be stupid not to recognize it. She had a Hollywood golden era look to her; a mix of Marilyn Monroe and Vivien Leigh with a graceful like elegance. While beautiful in both appearance and personality, there was a sadness to her... almost as if she was constantly thinking about something that haunted her. I wanted to ask her about it, but like Alice, wanted to save that conversation for a later time Rosalie pushed for answers more than the others did and while I knew she was just trying to help me, it bothered me that she was trying to coddle me like a little girl.

It was too late for that shit. I was nobody's little girl.

Jasper was the last to come before I met back up with Edward and was definitely the quietest out of all the others. He didn't try to push information out of me, and was almost intuitive of my feelings. Jasper talked to me in a way that soothed my nerves opposed to trying to rile them with questions I didn't want to answer and calmed me in strange ways I would have never thought of. Jasper too, had an daunting presence about him. His body was covered in scars. Some appeared to be cuts, a few of them scrapes and even a few burns. Despite it all, he appeared to have no notice of them although it was immediately what drew your eyes to him. I found out he was an ex-solider, who was discharged after three tours in Afghanistan. He was the newest to the program, having been acting as a mentor for less than a year and admitted to me that he out of all of them still struggled with his own dark demons. With a brief wave and goodbye, Jasper left and out came the bane of my existence.

He was dressed in his usual attire of docs and jeans, wearing a grey V-neck shirt and jean jacket, rolled at the sleeves showing off his tattoos on his arm and a black baseball cap turned backwards.

Edward looked enticing… and I wanted to punch myself for even thinking that way had to admit that he was just good looking. The stupid bastard walked over to me as if he owned the place, casually putting out the cigarette he held with his boot and strolling over to me. Whereas the others sat on the opposite side of the table to speak with me, Edward of course invaded my personal space by sitting beside me, leaving a few inches of space between us.

"Again with the personal space!" I growled turning to look at him. I swore that he always managed to have a smirk plastered on his face and I wanted to smack it off his face.

"I told you Bella, I don't know what that is." He chuckled.

"You don't do that to others…" I argued. Edward, while helpful to the others was also pretty standoffish and kept to himself unless otherwise. When it came to me, he seemed to be everywhere and constantly in my face and asking me a million questions. I knew that was his job, but the sudden intrusion of him into my life was throwing me off kilter.

"And you don't talk to the others the way you do with me. You barely mumble a peep when in the company of others but give me hell when I make syllable." Edward challenged. I narrowed my eyes at the lack of response I had to give. He had me there. Despite the fact he infuriated me to no end, I admit I was the most comfortable around him since he was my mentor, but I would never tell him that.

"Can we go now? I've been out here for the past three hours now and my ass is beginning to hurt from sitting too long." I huffed trying to get up. Edward grabbed my wrist with his hand and I look at him incredulously.

He was about five seconds away from losing that hand.

Seeing the expression on my face, he released his hold on my wrist and scrubbed his hands up and down his jeans nervously.

"Hey chill. I need my thirty minutes to talk to you too you know." Edward replied.

"Don't I talk to you enough? I see you every single day as is." I pleaded. "You show up at my house, follow me around at school, and now I need to spend another thirty minutes talking to you. Give me a break." I huffed. I stole a glance at Edward but he just looked amused.

"Does my company really bother you that much?" he joked but I didn't find it funny in the slightest.

"Actually it does." I answered in all seriousness. The amusement fell from his face at my declaration and he looked down at the table.

"And here I thought we were finally getting somewhere." Edward suggested and I could see the underlying anger beginning to build up in his green eyes. I knew he was taking a gamble with me trying to open up, both on his part and mine and I could see the small crack I managed to open up close as he looked at me.

Unfortunately, I didn't care at the moment.

"Well you thought wrong." I huffed. The hurt on his face was visible as I stood up and began walking back towards the house. I didn't want to spare a glance at him as I left. I swore I could see a figure watching me from the window, but when I took, a second glance saw nothing.

... ….

I hoped I would get a few minutes of silence on the drive home from this already horrible Saturday, but Phil obviously had other ideas as he tried to initiate a conversation with me. I already knew what was coming. After storming away from Edward, I headed into the house and ignored everyone; practically knocking Brady and Samantha out the way as I headed towards the car to wait for the next hour and a half, until Phil finally came out with a defeated expression on his face to drive us home.

"Do you really have to Uncle Phil? I do not feel like talking." I whined.

"Yes I have to. Besides, you won't be doing any talking but listening." Phil declared.

"Of course as always, here we go." I mumbled with an attitude, but he heard me anyway.

"See that's your problem right there. That attitude; that whole screw everyone and woe is me routine." Phil boomed.

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean Bella. We are all here trying to help you, but you throw it back in our faces. Every time someone tries to talk to you or ask you something you have an attitude." He added.

"I do not have an attitude." I crossed my arms childishly and turned towards the window.

Okay, so maybe I did have an attitude but I had every right to. Phil just didn't get that. He didn't understand what I had been through.

"And you just proved my point. That right there," Phil pointed towards me, "is not cute. You're too old for that and need to rectify that."

"I don't have to change anything." I murmured.

"You know, I heard you guys this morning and it was entirely inappropriate, especially you for what you said to Levi." Phil chided and I quickly turned to him.

"So now I'm being inappropriate? You heard what they said and suddenly it's my fault?" I bellowed. Was he being serious right now? Of all the crude statements being said, mine are the only ones he decided to focus on.

"I'm not saying they weren't, because they were. None of you should have been saying crude things to each other." Phil went on as he pulled into the driveway and turned off the ignition. Neither one of us made a move to get out.

"Your fault lies in the fact that instead of being the bigger person you decided to retort back instead of just ignoring it and keeping quiet."

"Newsflash Uncle Phil, being quiet is what got me in this freaking mess!" I threw my hands up in the air. Phil let out a deep sigh and rubbed his forehead.

"You're missing the point…" He started but I cut him off.

"What is the point, please explain to me…" I started and Phil's hand came down hard on the steering wheel.

"Jesus why must everything be an argument with you! I'm trying to talk to you and it becomes a problem. Your behavior is reflective of me. You may have not been around me long, but I know you know better than to act like that and I've sure as hell taught you better than that as well. I know you've been through something traumatic; lord knows I wish you didn't have to go through that and I could take your place but you did and we cannot change that. What's done is done. We're here trying to help you and you're over here being rude to everyone." Phil continued his tone lowering.

"Look, we're trying to help and I know you're with people you barely know…."

"I barely know you!" I blurted and immediately wished I could take it back. Phil's face blanched and his face looked as if he had swallowed something sour. The hurt was visible on his face and he made no move to hide it as he looked at me with watery blue eyes.

"I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." I stammered. I really didn't. Sometimes, my mouth worked faster than my brain could catch up and I said a lot of things I didn't mean.

"Yeah... I know you didn't." Phil croaked, but I knew the damage was already done. He took the keys out the ignition and got out, slamming the car door behind him and without giving me a second glance headed into the house. He didn't even bother to remove the keys from the door.

I follow in behind him, wanting to apologize but he's already at the top of the stairs and towards his room. I hear the click of his door shut and sigh that I hurt another person who did not deserve to be hurt.

Following in his same actions, I head upstairs and towards my room. I close the door and flop down face first onto my bed. The day was barely over with and I had already managed to piss off everyone including my uncle who was beginning to get fed up with me and ship me off somewhere.

Okay that was a little dramatic on my part, but I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if he did.

I kind of deserved it at the moment.

Eventually I heard shuffling downstairs and knew Phil had finally come out his room, but I made no move to get up and check. I heard him knock on my door and feigned sleep when he came to check up on me. I felt his fingers brush my hair back and kiss my cheek before leaving. As soon as he left, the tears trailed themselves down my cheek. I knew Phil had forgiven my behavior. He would always forgive me, as I always knew he would. Phil constantly dealt with my mood swings from the day I got here and yet always forgave me.

He didn't deserve it, he really didn't and I didn't deserve his kindness.

My feigned sleep eventually turned into real sleep and once again, I was attacked with dreams of a catalyst that set things into motion.

…..

August 2006

The raspy tone of Chris Cornell's voice fills my ear as I close the door behind me just as it begins to drizzle from the bipolar Floridian weather. Pulling the headphones from my ears, I carelessly throw my book sack on the floor and throw off my shoe in the corner. My phone startles me for a moment, and I look down briefly to see that I have a text from my best friend Siobhan asking if I could hang out for the night. It was Friday and I was glad to have a break. I had finally managed a few weeks without punishment and just wanted to hang out with my friends. The only thing I had left to do was ask for permission.

"Mom!" I holler. My parents were those type of parents. The kind of type that I needed permission from, just to do the simplest things, even walking down the street to the corner store to get something to eat. Granted, I was only fifteen and shouldn't be wandering alone anyways, it was beside the point. I was almost sixteen, which meant that I could handle a few adult responsibilities…well at least I thought I could. It was always the same. If I couldn't find one parent or get a response from them, I would go to the other parent to ask and vice versa.

"Mom!" I hollered again, walking into the parlor to ask her permission when I see her at the piano next to a woman whom she was assisting in playing "Three Blind Mice."

It was simplistic tune to play of course, but it was usually what she started with, especially with her beginning students. I didn't recognize the woman, as she wasn't one of my mother's regulars and realized she must have been new.

As much as I wanted to go ask her if I could go out with my friends, I knew better than to interrupt. My mother wasn't strict when it came to her lessons, but had one rule; one absolute rule that she did not want to be broken. While she was conducting her lessons, she was not to be interrupted or bothered for no reason unless it was an absolute emergency. Her lessons usually lasted two to three hours for beginners usually downgrading to just an hour for her regulars. I check her logbook to see that I had come in the middle of her lesson and would have to wait for at least another fifteen minutes.

I studied the woman beside my mother for a moment. I couldn't see her face, her hair shielding her face, but it was long and thick, the color of onyx and appeared to be incredibly silky. Her skin was a dark caramel color and had very long, slim fingers. I could hear through the brief conversations to my mother in between notes, that she was trying to pick up a new hobby; one she could surprise her children with when they returned, while they visited with her ex-husband for the weekend. She and my mother seemed to be chatting like old friends and I wondered when the lesson would end so I could leave, when I heard a creak and the sound of footsteps.

I quickly got up and headed upstairs and saw my father in his office with the door wide open. This was unusual for him since he liked his peace and quiet. His office was right over the parlor and if you looked right over the banister of the staircase, you could see straight down at whoever was taking lessons, meaning whatever was being played usually echoed up towards his office.

Using this as an opportunity to ask, I walked into his office, where I found him leaning against his bookcase looking down at some manual, although he didn't appear to be reading it.

"Hey dad!" I called out. He jumped nearly a foot in the air and I eyed him curiously.

"Jesus kid, when did you get here?" He questioned, rubbing his hand down his face and over his mustache nervously.

"You okay?" I asked curiously. My father continued to fidget. "Yeah I'm good sweetheart," he kissed my temple. "Did you need something?" he finally glanced down at me.

"Yeah I was wondering if I could hang out with Siobhan tonight? I was going to ask mom but she was busy with her lessons." I asked.

"Yeah I can see she is." He looked down into the parlor before looking back at me. Did you do your homework?" He asked. I rolled my eyes; a habit I picked up from him.

"Dad its Friday, I have no homework, so can I go?" I begged pouting. My father just chuckled and nodded his head, causing me to bounce on my heels and hug him tightly. I could feel his mustache twitch against my face as he kissed my forehead once more.

"Well if it isn't my two favorite people." My mom cheered as she headed up the stairs towards us. I quickly kissed her cheek and headed back downstairs to grab my shoes and raincoat to head outside. Once my shoes and coat were on, I quickly said my goodbyes, turning briefly to see them both in a tight embrace and ran outside, nearly bumping into the woman my mother had been teaching her lessons with.

"Oh I'm sorry, I left my umbrella. Do you mind getting it for me, it's just right there." She gestured to the object behind me on the table. All I could do was stare. Up front, the woman was striking. Her features were strong and her almond shaped eyes were a beautiful hazel color. Her appearance suggested an indigenous ancestry and she had the whitest teeth I had ever seen. She appeared to be my mother's age, maybe a year younger or so and offered me a warm smile as I handed her umbrella and closed the door behind me.

It was in the beginning stages of light rain and I tightened my raincoat around me, dreading the walk to Siobhan's house, which was a good ways down the street. The women opened up her umbrella and offered to walk with me since we were heading in the same direction. I was skeptical at first, but figured it would be no biggie since Siobhan's house was just a couple of blocks up the street. The women seemed friendly enough and knew if she was friendly with my mother; it was good enough for me.

We walked in silence at first, neither one of us saying a word when she tried to strike up a conversation with me. "You're Renee and Charlie's daughter right?" She asked and I nodded my head dumbly. Who else would I be? She just grinned again, flashing me her white teeth.

"You look to be my daughter's age, what are you fifteen?" She questioned.

"Yeah, but I turn sixteen next month." I grumbled, not wanting to be reminded of how young I was. She let out a chuckle. "My daughter's the same way, although she has a year on you. My son is around your age though, although he doesn't look like it. Those darn growth spurts and all. He already towers over me." She continued as we walked and I stopped when I heard my name and saw Siobhan across the street waving at me in front of one of our other friends' houses.

I nearly ran across the street but hesitated. I hadn't even gotten the woman's name that had shielded me from the rain and took lessons from my mother.

"Thanks for walking with me Ms…. sorry I didn't get your name." I apologized.

She reached out her hand and grinned. "Silly of me, I didn't even introduce myself, especially since you'll be seeing more of me with my lessons." She grinned reaching out her hand. I shook her hand and smiled.

"I'm Bella, although I'm pretty sure you knew that." I waved.

"Nice, to meet you Bella, I'm Susan Young, but you can call me Sue."

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end


Thoughts? Leave it in a review!

It's a slow burn people….slow burn…we'll get there eventually with our favorite couple.

So another part of the story unfolds…..

Thanks for reading and until next time,

Xoxo Sylvia Cullen