Surprise! MERRY NOT-SO-CHRISTMAS-CHRISTMAS! I wanted to post this on Christmas but I started late, then had internet problems, THEN when it was done Fanfic wouldn't let me log on! But, late is better than never!
I even added a little bit of Dimitri's Point of View! I skipped the smaller parts though so don't hate me. It's still a slightly small chapter, only 9 pages but it's 8:40 in the morning and I'm ready for bed because I've been working on this all night but, I wanted to leave you all with a little something!
All the chapters have been updated, if you've reviewed one of the chapters I've been told you can't comment again…idk if that's true but just in case if you have comments or questions please PM me or write it in a review on this chapter.
Sadly, there isn't a huge amount of changes like there should be for how long it has taken…sorry. I still feel like I want to change it more but I have decided to leave it alone so you all don't have to wait any longer! I don't think I will ever think it's perfect because I never think my stuff is good but, you all seem to love it so I won't argue :)
I would suggest going through and reading all of the chapters again…I think the only one that has no changes is Chapter 2 but every other chapter has changes here and there. Some chapters it's just a few lines (a few lines can change up a whole story honestly) and some there's added scenes and conversations.
Well I hope you all like it and tell me what you thing!
"Roza wake up!"
"What!" I gasped shooting up into a sitting position. I almost fell off the seat but someone quickly caught me. I looked around trying to figure out where I was. Quickly it all rushed back to me. "Mason."
"We're almost there. Are you ok? You had me a little worried because you wouldn't wake up," Dimitri said from behind me. I realized he was still holding me making sure I didn't fall. I rapidly moved out of his arms and put distance between us.
"Yea that happens sometimes," I said pretending as if it wasn't a big deal and I wasn't still shook up from my vivid nightmares. I could still feel it. A dead Mason blaming me saying it's my fault, Dimitri turning his back on me saying 'It's not going to work', then pain excruciating pain and blood everywhere.
"Roza," I heard softly beside me.
"Yea?" I said realizing I had quit paying attention and was being consumed by the dreams again.
"Are you ok?" he asked looking at me like I would break any second.
"I'm fine quit looking at me like that. It was just a bad dream that's all. Happens all the time."
"Want to talk about it?" he asked.
"It was stupid. Just dreaming about Mason and his accident," I said not completely lying but, telling him enough so he wouldn't question me farther. After that nightmare, I realized I should have never broken down like that in front of Dimitri. I do have mixed emotions because he did drop everything to come with me but, it still didn't change anything. He still left and never made contact, he still said all of those things the other day. He still never answered the phone when all I needed was him. I can't trust Dimitri anymore and I can't lean on him. I feel horrible thinking that but, he hurt me so bad, worse than he can ever imagine, and I can't even think about letting him comfort me. "Sorry I took you away from Tasha. You didn't have to come."
"It's not a problem. He used to be my friend too and I know how close you are."
"Isn't Tasha going to be a little pissed?" I teased.
"Who cares. She'll get over it." He shrugged.
"Well thank you for coming and I'm sorry about earlier. I'll keep my emotions in check from now on."
"You don't need to apologize, it's perfectly understandable."
"Not for me. I don't cry."
"There's nothing wrong with crying."
"Why did you wake me up?" I asked changing subjects.
"We're almost there."
"Oh."
About then some lady came out of the cabin and told us to put our seatbelts on.
"Who is that?" I asked confused.
"The stewardess. She didn't come out and introduce herself earlier because you were crying. Her name is natalie."
"Oh." I said again. It was a minute before I spoke again. "I'm going to have to find a taxi or rent a car when we get to the airport…crap I don't have money to pay for either."
"Don't worry it's already taken care of," Dimitri said like it was simple. "We have a car waiting for us when we land."
"That was thoughtful" I muttered. "Why did you come?"
"Did you not want me to?" he asked.
"It's not that. It's just we're not on the best of terms right now and it's not like you're still friends with Mason or anything."
"I've missed a lot but I still care about Mason. We were friends. Plus Adrian called and said you needed me so I came. I figured you would need someone with you and I wanted to be there for you."
I had so many remarks about how I needed him before but it didn't matter to him then but, I wasn't going to start an argument right now. Right now I needed to focus on Mason and try my hardest to not show any vulnerability in front of Dimitri again.
"How far is the drive from the airport to the hospital?" I asked instead.
"About 20 minutes," he answered. 20 minutes alone with him in a car?! Well great.
We didn't say anything the rest of the plane ride. I kept thinking back to my nightmare. The guilt, the pain, the loneliness. Mason dying. He couldn't die. I need him. He's my rock. He's been there for me over the years and I need him, he's my best friend.
I silently got in the passenger seat of the car that was waiting after Dimitri grabbed my bag. He put it in the trunk and slipped into the driver's side and started driving. I turned my phone on and checked my messages, I had two from Viktoria. One saying that Masons mom was on her way and another updating me on his condition.
"Hope for the best Roza, quit thinking so negatively," he said to me without glancing at me. I gave him a questioning look and he slightly grinned.
"I can see it on your face. You're imagining worst case scenarios and thinking he's not going to make it but you can't think that way. We don't know how bad it is yet."
"He's unconscious and they're taking him in for emergency surgery," I said numb.
"He's strong. Hopefully he'll pull through just fine," Dimitri reassured. I could tell he didn't really mean what he was saying but he was trying.
"Thanks for trying," I told him sincerely. "Hopefully he'll be out of surgery when we get there."
The rest of the way was spent in silent thoughts. I kept hoping Dimitri was right but I had a bad feeling that he wasn't.
When we got to the hospital we parked and went straight to the nearest nurses' station and asked where he was. They directed us to the floor and told us to talk to the nurses up there. We got on the elevator and I started getting nervous. The nurse wouldn't tell us anything except what floor he was on so I had no idea how he was. I started fidgeting in anticipation. Dimitri grabbed my hand and squeezed it. It instantly calmed me down. I instantly wanted to pull it away. I didn't want to believe he still had that effect on me but, deep down I know he probably always would. As soon as the elevator stopped I was out of it and heading down the hall dragging Dimitri with me. I found the nearest nurses station and asked them where Mason's room was.
"Are you family?" she asked.
"No?" I said hesitantly.
"Only family is allowed to visit him right now."
"WHAT! That's outrageous. I'm pretty much family. He's my brother."
"I'm sorry ma'am that's the rules." I opened my mouth to say say something back but Dimitri cut me off.
"His mother is on her way but won't be here for a few more hours. Is there an exception you can make this one time?" he asked smoothly.
"You're Dimitri Belikov!" she said astonished.
"Yes ma'am," he said slightly bowing his head like he didn't want to be recognized.
"Well…I guess we could make an exception this one time. They do say it helps a person if they have family or friends talking to them…follow me," she said smiling up at Dimitri like I didn't exist.
"How is he?" I asked.
"All I can tell you is he's stale but critical. He's in a coma and on a breathing tube." Dimitri squeezed my hand again as she was talking. "Here's his room. Don't disturb anything or anyone or I will get in trouble."
"Thank you," Dimitri told her warmly.
When I walked in I gasped and stopped in my tracks. It didn't even look like Mason anymore. His ginger hair was hidden behind a bandage that was wrapped around his head, his face was bruised and scraped, his right leg was up in the air on one of those contraptions, and his right arm was in a cast. He had a gown on but you could see bruises on his neck leading down.
"Mase," I whispered. Dimitri put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly. After a second or two I shook it off and headed to the left side of the bed where there was a chair. I pulled it up next to the bed and sat down.
"I'm going to give you some time alone. Do you want coffee or anything?" he asked.
I just shook my head not looking away from Masons pale face. After he left I hesitantly grabbed Mason's hand as softly as I could afraid I would break him.
"Hey boyfriend," I whispered smiling at his nick name. "Are you trying to compete with me on who can look the worst after a wreck? Cause if you are I'd have to say you win but, then I'd have to kick your butt as soon as you wake up and were better for scaring me like this." I joked referencing a few years ago when I had been in a car wreck and the first thing Mason told me was "You look like shit".
"Just so you know you look like shit too. Luckily the bruises will fade…you just have to wake up first."
I sat there for a few minutes in silence. Part of me was waiting just hoping he'd wake up and smart off to me. The other part knew that wouldn't happen right now. I thought of all the things I haven't told him and how we hadn't talked in a while since I've been so busy. We've just been communicating in texts and pictures here and there. Looking at him made me want to burst out into tears.
I need you to wake up and get better," I said sadly tears coming to my eyes. "I need you. I haven't even been able to tell you the latest on this record deal. You'll never guess who my producer is, Dimitri! Of all the producers in all of LA I get Dimitri. I haven't told him anything or about…well you know. I need you so you can help me figure things out. My head is so crazy right now, I need my best friend. That's why you need to wake up. You can't leave me like they did. Not like he did. I couldn't bear it if I lost you too…I guess that makes me selfish but, right now I don't care. You're one of the main people that got me through last time, who will help me if I lose you? I'm so scared Mase." By the end I was whispering. I had a tear running down my cheek. I heard a throat clear by the door and looked up. Dimitri was standing by the door.
"I know you said you didn't want anything but I brought you a water just in case," he said.
"How much did you hear?" I asked scared of his answer.
"I just heard a sentence or two, once I realized you were talking about personal stuff I moved away so I didn't hear anymore and waited until you took a break." He walked into the room and put the coffee and water on the windowsill behind me. Then he grabbed the extra chair.
"What did you hear?" I questioned while he moved the chair to beside me.
"You said "You can' leave me like they did. Like he did". Then I walked away," he said softly. "You said they…"
"Yea?" I said knowing where he was going but not wanting to go there with him.
"Who's they? And was the he, me?" he asked unsure.
"No Dimitri, the he is not you," I sighed truthfully knowing I could lie but not having the energy to.
"Who then? The way you said it was like they passed away," he said curiously.
"He did. He passed away a while back but you didn't know him." I said sniffing trying not to break down.
"What was his name?" he asked probably trying to make sure he didn't know him.
"You didn't know him I promise but his name was Conner," I said more tears sliding down my cheeks. This was the first time I had talked about him in a long while. The name burned coming out but, it felt good to say it again.
"Seems like he was important to you," Dimitri pushed. I knew he was trying to get as much information as I would allow. Honestly I didn't want to talk to Dimitri about Conner but I couldn't stop right this second.
"He was. He was very important to me. He died because of a car crash too," I choked out. I pulled my knees up in my chair and hugged them leaning my head on them looking away from Dimitri. I heard Dimitri get up and start towards me.
"Please don't," I said softly not wanting comfort from him right now. "I just want to be alone right now."
"Sure, I'll be in the waiting room down the hall. Let me know if you need anything." He said before turning and walking out the door. As soon as I heard it shut I released the sobs I had been holding in.
DPOV:
"No…No…NO!" Roza murmured then cried in her sleep, gently rocking.
"Sssshhhhh….It's ok Roza…" I said softly, running my hand in her hair like I used to. She calmed and started to settle back down. She had fallen asleep while crying so I had laid her on the couch and sat in one of the chairs across from it. I had been reading silently as we flew until I saw her start to have the nightmare. Now I was sitting on the edge of the couch not moving in case it started again. A few minutes later Natalie came out of the cock pit, I stood up and went to her.
"Mr. Belikov, the plane will be landing in 8 minutes," she said softly. I nodded my thanks and she went back to the cock pit. I saw rose start rocking again and gently shook her shoulder.
"Roza wake up!"
"What!" she gasped shooting up into a sitting position. "Mason."
"We're almost there. Are you ok? You had me a little worried because you wouldn't wake up," I asked still holding her making sure she didn't fall. She realized this and pulled away.
"Yea that happens sometimes," she said acting like it was nothing but, I could see the haunted look in her eyes. I saw her get lost in her thoughts.
"Roza," I said softly pulling her back into reality
"Yea?" she asked shaking it off.
"Are you ok?"I asked wondering if she would tell me the truth, probably not.
"I'm fine quit looking at me like that. It was just a bad dream that's all. Happens all the time."
"Want to talk about it?" I asked knowing she'd say no but, trying anyways.
"It was stupid. Just dreaming about Mason and his accident," she said, I could tell there was more to it but I wasn't going to push. She had every right to not want to talk to me. "Sorry I took you away from Tasha. You didn't have to come."
"It's not a problem. He used to be my friend too and I know how close you are."
"Isn't Tasha going to be a little pissed?" she teased.
"Who cares. She'll get over it." I shrugged, not telling her that I hadn't told Tasha the truth about where I was going and knowing full well that Tasa would be furious when I did tell her.
"Well thank you for coming and I'm sorry about earlier. I'll keep my emotions in check from now on."
"You don't need to apologize, it's perfectly understandable."
"Not for me. I don't cry."
"There's nothing wrong with crying."
"Why did you wake me up?" I asked changing subjects.
"We're almost there."
"Oh."
About then Natalie came out of the cabin and told us to put our seatbelts on.
"Who is that?" Rose asked confused.
"The stewardess. She didn't come out and introduce herself earlier because you were crying. Her name is Natalie."
"Oh." she said again. It was a minute before she spoke up again. "I'm going to have to find a taxi or rent a car when we get to the airport…crap I don't have money to pay for either."
"Don't worry it's already taken care of," I said already haven taken care of it before we left. "We have a car waiting for us when we land."
"That was thoughtful" she muttered. "Why did you come?"
"Did you not want me to?" I asked.
"It's not that. It's just we're not on the best of terms right now and it's not like you're still friends with Mason or anything." I thought about it for a second. I'm really not sure why I came. Adrian called and said that Roses' friend Mason was in the hospital and Rose was flying out to him. Before he even suggested that I come I was already out the door. Tasha and I had just gotten home so I grabbed a bag and took off telling Tasha there was an emergency.
"I've missed a lot but I still care about Mason. We were friends. Plus Adrian called and said you needed me so I came. I figured you would need someone with you and I wanted to be there for you." I told her honestly. I did feel bad about not being there when Aaron died and didn't want to say the same if Mason took a wrong turn. Mostly though I think it was cause of Rose.
She looked like she wanted to say something but she held it in, instead she changed subjects asking about the drive to the hospital. After that she was silent. When we got to the car I saw she was internally freaking out so I tried to calm her down as best as I could but it didn't really work since she could tell I didn't really believe what I was saying either. At the hospital on the ride up the elevator I saw her get antsy so I instinctively grabbed her hand giving it a light squeeze to calm her down. I had done it before I even realized what I was doing but she didn't pull away. Instead as soon as the doors opened she yanked me down the hallway. The nurse didn't want to let her in and I could see she was about to start yelling so I cut in. Luckily the nurse recognized me and let Rose into Masons' room. When we got to the doorway I was shocked. He looked horrible…it reminded me of the last time I saw Ivan…I quickly shook those thoughts away and put a reassuring hand on Rose's shoulder. A few seconds later she shook it off and went to sit by him. I decided to let her have some private time with her and quickly left. I went into the waiting room at the end of the hallway and dialed Tasha's number. She didn't answer so I left a voicemail telling her what had happened and not to worry. Then I hung up and left a message at g-major that Rose and I would be out today because of a family emergency. I then headed out to find some much needed coffee. I grabbed Rose a water even though she said she didn't want anything and headed back to the room. I heard Rose talking and leaned in a little to hear what she was saying to see if she would mind if I came in.
"Need to wake up. You can't leave me like they did. Not like he did. I couldn't bear it if…" I heard the pain in her voice, it was heartbreaking. Was she talking about me? Who is they?
When she stopped I went back to the entry way and cleared my throat so she'd know I was there. She looked up shocked.
"I know you said you didn't want anything but I brought you a water just in case," I told her trying to avoid the fact that I just heard part of her speech.
"How much did you hear?" she asked as if she was scared…I wonder what all she said.
"I just heard a sentence or two, once I realized you were talking about personal stuff I moved away so I didn't hear anymore and waited until you took a break." I said walking into the room and putting the coffee and water on the windowsill behind Rose before grabbing the extra chair and moving it.
"What did you hear?" she questioned while I moved the chair by her.
"You said "You can' leave me like they did. Like he did". Then I walked away," I said softly. "You said they…"
"Yea?" she questioned.
"Who's they? And was the he, me?" he asked unsure.
"No Dimitri, the he is not you," she sighed…then who was she talking about, did someone else die?
"Who then? The way you said it was like they passed away," I asked curiously.
"He did. He passed away a while back but you didn't know him." She said sniffing.
"What was his name?" I asked wondering how she knew him…it's not like we get many new people in Baia Georgia and she said that's where she's been.
"You didn't know him I promise but his name was Conner," she said while a few tears started coming down her pink cheeks. He must have been special to her…was it a boyfriend she had? Was he more than a boyfriend?
"Seems like he was important to you," I pushed wondering how much she would share.
"He was. He was very important to me. He died because of a car crash too," She choked out before pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them. When she used to do that I'd set her in more lap and hold her until she was better…can't do that now, despite how much I wanted to make the pain go away for her...before I knew what was happening I stood up and started towards her.
"Please don't," She said softly "I just want to be alone right now."
"Sure, I'll be in the waiting room down the hall. Let me know if you need anything." I said before turning and walking out the door. As soon as I shut the door I heard her start sobbing. I wanted to run back in there but I know she'd get pissed plus I should go clear my head. I went back to the waiting room and sat down.
Who is this Conner? Did she move on while I was gone? And why did that make me slightly angry? Isn't that what I wanted when I cut off communication with her to begin with? I wanted her to move on and be happy. Plus I'm with Tasha so the fact that she may have had a boyfriend shouldn't bother me at all. I made a choice to leave Rose behind so she could move on and find someone better than me…did she find that in this Conner guy?
AN:
Question: What do you think Sonya should name her baby? Y'all give me names and I'll select my favorites and then let you all vote on them!
RANDOM BABBLE-Can I just say it never ceases to amaze me, all the different interpretations of music. I was thinking about using 'Summertime Sadness' by Lana Del Ray later in this story because it's a beautiful song and I thought it could work between Rose and Dimitri. I decided to go look it up on to see what other people thought it was about and OH MY GOODNESS! It cracked me up! It ranged from best friends, to dead lovers, to alive lovers, lovers tripping on LSD and lastly two lesbian lovers that commited suicide. That lastly is actually what the song was really about and it completely threw me off guard, that never even crossed my mind! That's what I love about music though, how one person can write a song about something and then listeners all interpret it differently. I might still use the song later, I'm not sure now that I know what it's actually about but, I just thought I would share
