Hello again! I'm sorry to say this but if the last chapter was hard then this one is even worse. Just how the story goes I guess.
I won't hold you back longer so enjoy (And don't hate me!)
Six months passed since the breakup. The laughs that always came out of that apartment have disappeared into complete silence. The blue head left the world of the living and never returned, Ichigo stayed at the apartment for the sole purpose of staying away from people, especially his father who talked trash about Grimmjow non-stop.
He focused on his work, staying at his office fourteen hours a day, sometimes even longer, barely having something to eat through the day. He never was good at taking care of himself, it was the panther who always took care of him, making sure he is fed and well rested, but now that he was alone it didn't matter anymore.
He was walking back home, his mind blank and empty; his usual scowl in place longing for the moment to collapse on his bed and curl into a ball for the rest of the night so his mind would stop thinking. But a familiar voice stopped him making his scowl turn to the happy smile he gave his family and friends whenever they were around "Hey Tatsuki" He greeted the dark haired girl.
"Ichigo! Where have you been idiot I've been calling you for weeks" She exclaimed and pulled him to a tight hug. The ginger hugged her back but didn't let it last long "I'm sorry I've been really busy with work. How have you been?"
"I'm good, got more work load now that Grimmjow quit" she regretted those words the second they left her mouth, especially with the way his eyes widened in shock to hearing the last name he wanted to hear, a name he did everything he could to forget. She smiled nervously and tried to change the subject "So how are? How's work and life?"
"I'm fine just busy I guess" he repeated rubbing the back of his neck, waiting anxiously for this conversation to be over. "Did you hear anything from Grimmjow?" Now that it was out there might as well say what she had in mind. He shook his head making the girl sigh "Didn't he tell you why he left?"
"Just that he is tired of me" his anxiety was sky rocketing at this moment; he didn't want to think about him or about that night. Yet everyone around him kept forcing him to remember, bombarding him with questions about the panther.
The girls features turned thoughtful a bit before she spoke "I'm not gonna pester you about it, I know how painful a breakup could be. But I don't think that his reason for leaving because he was tired of you" That made Ichigo look up at her with a questioning look "The way he looked at you, It's one I rarely see between couples" She explained. "If I was in your place, I would go see him and demand an explanation. Take care Ichi" she waved at him before leaving and he smiled the same way again before dropping his act, his scowl in place until he reached the apartment, his scowl dropping letting exhaustion take over. He laid in bed trying to fall asleep but to no use, his cat joined him butt heading his face before she laid on his chest purring as she fell asleep.
She scratched her head as his mind wandered in thought, repeating the conversation he had with Tatsuki. He looked down at the cat again missing Grimmjow's hand that would be scratching her as well, he would intentionally cause friction between them and give him a teasing smile. That made his decision easier.
X_X
In Las Noches the panther wasn't in a much better situation than the ginger. He was either training or in his chamber denying to meet anyone except for Tia who barged in to force him on doing his duties.
She interrupted his training this time as well entering his quarters without permission, not that she needed it with her being the Queen "Letting out your anger again?" He rolled his eyes and continued to punch the sandbag "What do you want? I did everything you asked me to including training that wuss of an Arrancar" the blonde woman walked closer to him "I've never seen you so pent up before" She remarked.
With a final punch to the bag rattling the chains that held it he stopped and turned to face her "What do you want Tia?"
"I'm just making sure everyone under my rule are well and that includes you" She stated which earned her another eye roll "I'm fine"
"You keep saying that but I know you're not. Ever since you came back from the world of the living and you haven't been fine. How long are you going to lie to yourself" her voice rose as she spoke for seeing him a wreck like that.
"Stop it Tia!" He yelled in anger "How many times do I have to tell you to drop the subject"
"I don't believe all the bullshit reasons you told me for breaking up with him" Grimmjow glared at the blonde lady, this was the last thing he wanted to talk about "I SAID ENOUGH!" his voice rang through the room "I don't have to explain myself and my actions to you! I did what I did and that's it"
Tia glared at him, she hated seeing her most trusted in this state but with his stubbornness there wasn't much she could do, especially that he wasn't letting anyone near him physically or mentally "Your reasons are bullshit and you know it. We may be immortal but he isn't, and the more you stay away from him the more time is lost from your time together." With that she left the panther alone who in frustration punched the bag so hard breaking the chain, letting the bag explode upon hitting the wall.
He left the training area back to his chamber only to find the last person he expected to see there. "Ichigo…" He murmured to himself seeing the flaming orange hair and the brown orbs that captivated him. "Grimmjow" the ginger spoke in a soft voice, he can deny it all he want but he did miss the panther, more than he expected. Seeing those electric blue eyes flamed all the buried feelings he had for him, if Grimmjow gave the tiniest signal he would've ran up to him, pushing the panther against the wall and kissing his lips till they were bruised.
But Grimmjow was frozen; his face was a surprised one before it turned to a frown "What are you doing here?" He turned to his closet looking for something to wear since he was all sweaty from training. "I…" Ichigo didn't know how to start, chocking on his own words making the panther smirk "Don't tell me you're here for one last fuck" He teased causing an angry mark appear on Ichigo's forehead "I'm not here to fuck! I'm here because I want to know why you ended it" he demanded.
Grimmjow looked at him for a few moments before turning back the closet "I already told you why I'm ti…" He was cut off by the shove on his back making him turn to face the ginger with a glare only to have their faces inches away from each other, electricity sparking off from the intense glare they shared "Bullshit. You can keep repeating that all you want but I know it's not true" Ichigo exclaimed.
Grimmjow scowled at him, he wanted to say something hurtful to push him away but with those eyes watching him, with his hot breath and fruity scent so close he couldn't bring himself to do it. He leaned back a bit putting his hand in his pocket "You've gotten thinner" The panther stated instead.
Ichigo was taken aback by his reply, he took a step backwards looking down at himself before back up to meet Grimmjow's gaze "That's because the dumbass who used to force feed me disappeared suddenly from my life ruining my diet" Grimmjow breathed out a small laugh hearing him "You don't need someone to take care of yourself idiot" for a second there the air around them felt easy, normal, like it used to be before the whole break up happened.
But soon it turned back to the gloomy thick one when Ichigo's smile dropped "Why did you leave Grimm?" He spoke in a softer tone. Grimmjow sighed passing him standing a little farther; his scent was too intoxicating to be around "I don't love you anymore. I'm tired of you. My pride is hurt; take your pick I don't have anything more to tell you" he was shoved again by the ginger, Ichigo knew if he wanted to get his attention he would have to get physical somehow, he knew the panther hated to be touched if he didn't want to be.
And he was right, Grimmjow instantly pushed him up the wall, pinning him against it "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" his voice was low, threatening and a little bit intriguing to the ginger who used to love the dangerous edge he had "getting your attention" Ichigo said with a victorious smirk "Why did you leave?" he repeated.
The panther watched his face carefully, his twitching eyebrows, his determined eyes. His eyes trailed down to his lips, lingering there for a second before pulling away from him giving him his back "Leave Kurosaki. I don't want you anymore, go fall in love with Orihime get married and have kids or something"
Ichigo picked one of the pillows on the bed and threw it to his head "Since when did you become a coward?" he yelled in anger this time. Grimmjow breathed deeply to control himself, but by the time he turned to him he didn't find Ichigo there. No one knew Ichigo had figured out opening gargantas watching Grimmjow do it them so many times, he used one to leave unable to take it anymore.
The blue head stood there still when he didn't find him, his angry face turning to a sad one, his façade dropping "You knew he was here didn't you?" He spoke to Tia who walked in with her arms crossed "Seems like I'm not the only one who doesn't believe you. Stop acting stupid and go after him, you know you want to"
"I see having Nel back in the palace made you a relationship expert" He teased with a faint smirk. The blonde only shrugged before leaving him alone with his thoughts.
X_X
Back in the world of the living Ichigo rushed back through the garaganta and to the apartment collapsing on the couch, burying his face to the cushion. It definitely was a bad idea to go see him again;
After very deep breaths he turned to his back covering his eyes with his arm, Grimmjow was hiding something from him for sure but he couldn't handle being around him for long, it hurt too fucking much. He wracked his brain thinking about it until he fell asleep. It won't be the first time he fell asleep on the couch not caring much as long as he was unconscious.
He didn't wake up until the afternoon of the following day. If it wasn't for the knocks on the door he would've slept through the entire weekend. With a grumble and a rub to his eyes he opened the door to a cheerful Orihime "Kurosaki-Kun! I brought you some fresh bread" She chirped letting herself in and put the basket down on the coffee table "Uhhh Inoue…" He wasn't sure what to do but she had already let herself in "Did you just wake up? Go wash up I'll make you some coffee" her cheerfulness made him smile even though he didn't want to, it was intoxicating.
He went to the bathrooms and splashed his face with water several times before running his hand through his hair trying to tame it but to no use. With a loud sigh and his fake smile in place he went out to find his coffee ready, she even prepared some food for him "I guessed you'd be hungry" She beamed a smile at him as he joined her at the dining table.
"Thanks Inoue you really didn't have to" Even though the food smelled delicious he didn't feel like he could stomach a spoonful so he took the coffee instead and sipped from it "I haven't seen you in so long Kurosaki-kun how have you been?" she had her chin resting on her palms watching him closely with the brightest smile.
X_X
At some point they moved to the couch, they chatted for hours and ate so much of the bread she brought with her, being around her cheerfulness helped him find his apetite. It was the first time in a long time he let someone in, or spent that much time with someone. They even ended up watching a romantic comedy that Orihime insisted they watch. The movie was ok, Ichigo did laugh at some scenes, they were small laughs but they still made the females heart thump in her chest.
It took the ginger a while to realize that she was staring at him "What is it?" he asked, unnerved by the way her eyes watched him. She shook her head blushing "I-It's nothing" Her hands were fidgeting in her lap, trying to find the courage to tell him.
As fate puts it, the female in the movie just confessed her love to her love interest, saying something about being courageous and never wasting a minute without telling the ones they love how they feel about them. To Ichigo those words reminded him of the blue haired panther, that's exactly what the male did before it all burned to the ground.
But to Orihime, it made her hold Ichigo's hand pulling him from his thoughts to look at her "I like you Kurosaki-kun. No wait that came out wrong. I…erm I love you Kurosaki-kun" Ichigo was so surprised by the sudden confession that he didn't even think of pulling his hand away. He kept looking at her with that astonished expression waiting for her to say something "I-I've always loved you and cared for you. I just never had the courage to tell you, and then Grimmjow-san came in the picture so I thought I had no chance to tell you but you two broke up and this is my chance before someone else comes along the way and takes you away from me" she talked even more than she had in mind, she couldn't stop the words from pouring out once she started talking. She was scooting closer to him slowly with each word and by the end her lips were close to his, just a bit and they would be kissing.
Ichigo listened to her confession; he didn't deserve that much love from her, from anyone at that matter. He always believed that and after what happened with Grimmjow his self hate sky rocketed. Yet here she was confessing her undying love to him, mere inches away from kissing him, looking at him with gleaming eyes, hoping he would close the space between them.
Grimmjow's words echoed in his head, maybe he should settle down with Orihime, she would make the perfect wife, life with her would be easy, no complications whatsoever. With a gulp he leaned in slowly to kiss her, it was like time slowed down as he moved, but the second his lips touched hers he pulled back looking away from her "Inoue I-I can't" he moved away from her avoiding the sad look that took over her face.
"I can't be with you when my heart belongs to someone else, I'm not over Grimmjow yet and I don't want to lead you on. You mean too much to me and I don't want to lose you" he could hear her silent sniffles which made his heart ache even more. He held her cheeks rubbing the tears away "Please don't cry" He pleaded. She shook her head and wiped her tears before beaming her chirpy smile at him "Don't worry Kurosaki-Kun I'll be fine!"
The air was awkward between them after that, they sat in silence, no words to be said until she got up to leave "I'm gonna head home to rest, I have to open the bakery early in the morning" she picked the empty basket and headed to the door with the ginger following. She held the door knob to open the door but stood still, with a determined look she turned to him "Kurosaki-kun if you love him don't let him go. You never told me what happened between you two but if your feelings about him are that strong then be courageous about them, don't let them go to waste for the sake of stubbornness or being strong" She pulled him to a tight hug that surprised him but returned with a smile "Thank you Inoue, I'll see you soon" He thanked before she left him alone.
He looked over the apartment; ghosts of all the places Grimmjow was in were clear in his head. It felt suffocating to be there, he had to escape. He left the building and wandered the streets, letting his feet lead him through the dimly lit alleys.
He walked for hours taking in the fresh air that he needed to clear his mind. When he came out of his personal bubble he found himself in the forest in the outskirts of the town, where he planted the memorial for the panther's fallen men. That memory made a smile take over his lips; it was back then when things looked up for him. His feet led him again, taking him to the clearing only to find he wasn't the only one there.
The person he wanted to see the most was there, facing the tomb with a distant look as if asking guidance from it. He moved slowly barely making a sound and sat next to him "What are you doing here Grimm?"
The panther sighed when he felt the new presence "How did you know I'm here?" He answered his question with another to annoy him. Grimmjow made sure to hide his reiatsu so no one would sense him there and trouble his alone time "I was going for a walk and ended up here, guess I'm still drawn to you just as much as before. Now it's your turn" his eyes were focused on the carvings on the tombstone as he spoke.
Those words made Grimmjow smile, he took a glance of the ginger, his smile widening to how the moon reflected off his tanned skin "I needed to clear my head" he stated and Ichigo nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.
They sat there in comfortable silence for a while, the sound of blowing leaves filling the air around them. They both took glances of each other when the other wasn't looking. "Why did you leave Grimmjow?" Ichigo repeated his question; he absolutely needed an answer to that question. If he was ever to move on from the panther he needed to know the real reason to losing the relationship they had.
"You're not gonna let this go are you?" He asked with a small smile looking at Ichigo. "Take a guess" he replied with a similar smile. With a loud sigh and a shake of his head he gave in "I did it to protect you" That confession confused the ginger "Protect me? How?"
"When I was imprisoned in Soul Society their Sou-taichou or whatever he's called told me that you being with me puts you in danger. If it wasn't your family abandoning you then losing the respect you gained in Soul Society with your friends along with it. Not to mention you going to trial as well or worse."
Ichigo was both touched and angry "That's why you left me? That's why you broke my heart and left me alone all those months?" he shot up to his feet his eyes holding the angry fire he felt burn inside him "I'm not a kid Grimmjow; I don't need you to protect me or look after me! I was fully aware of these risks when I decided to be with you. I was willing to die along with you at the trial if it meant that I would die knowing you were willing to die for me as well."
"I don't want you to die! That's the point of all this shit I put us through! I want you to live and be happy and grow old, not pay your life to save mine" Grimmjow yelled back looking up at him.
"That's not your decision to make! You're my boyfriend not my dad! If I knew that's your real reason for leaving I would've smacked the back of your head and told you to stop talking bullshit because this is what that reasoning is" He was heaving at this point, all that suffering he went through because of Grimmjow's protective nature.
The panther shot up standing on eye level with the ginger "I had to take that decision! You care about everyone around you except yourself, you put your own health and well being last like you don't matter" he yelled in anger.
"I don't matter! Nothing about me matters! The first time in my entire life that I felt like I actually want to live, that I was happy was with you, and then you crashed all that when you left." Ichigo yelled back, all his pent up anger and emotions coming out for the first time in months.'
"You do matter! You matter more than anyone else that I'm willing to put myself through this pain to let you live. I love you too much to just have you suffer" Grimmjow countered his eyes as serious as his voice.
"Do you even know how much I suffered when you left? Do you know what I went through? How many nights I cried myself to sleep? Overworking myself almost to death just so I don't give myself the chance to even think about you! Unable to down any food because I was too stressed all the time. And that's not even mentioning the physical and emotional pain I've been through"
Grimmjow was speechless hearing what Ichigo went through. Those passing months weren't easy on him either, he didn't talk to anyone, barley got any sleep only focused on training to distract himself from everything. But hearing this now the ginger had it worse than him, so much worse "You left me without an explanation, or a word or anything! You didn't even come back to see me and now you're telling me it was to protect me? I would rather fight a thousand battles with you by my side, I'd rather die knowing you are with me than going through all that pain by myself with you doing who knows what" His voice was increasing with each word, his fists clenching leaving crescent marks on his palms.
"Do you think it was easy for me? That I was having the time of my life without you? Why can't you see that I did that because I love you, because I want to protect you?" The panther spoke back to him his seriousness unwavering.
"I am not a fucking weakling that needs your protection. Yes I appreciate you having my back but if anything I'm stronger than you" He poked his chest with his finger "I defeated you. I defeated enemies stronger than you so stop treating me like a fucking child. What you did wasn't because you wanted to protect me, it was because you are a coward that took the easiest way out" His angry eyes burned holes through Grimmjow, it was a look he never saw on the ginger before "You want me to live my life and live on. Fine. This is it, you don't have to worry about me or see my face anymore. Goodbye Sexta" something was different about his voice when he spoke those last two words. Like he hated him, Ichigo never showed hatred towards anyone, especially the people around him, especially to Grimmjow. Not until that moment, when the pain and anger has taken over him completely.
The panther stood there with an open mouth, looking for the words to say but coming up with nothing. This is what he wanted, for Ichigo to get over him and live his life happily without him. But if this is what he wanted then why is his heart aching like it's gonna beat out of his chest to crash on the floor into million pieces.
When Ichigo didn't get any response from him he turned and walked away unable to take any more of the suffocating atmosphere between them.
Grimmjow watched as he walked away, his heart thumping in his chest. Everything slowed down with every step he took farther away from him. If this was it, if this was the point of no return then he should get that one last thing he wanted so desperately.
"Kurosaki" Hearing the panther call his name made him turn only to be surprised by Grimmjow's lips pushed into his. The kiss instantly turning hungry with Ichigo kissing him back, holding his cheeks while Grimmjows hands held on to his waist pulling him close.
They pushed against each other both wanting dominance over the other. Ichigo tripped over a stone making him fall on his back with Grimmjow on top of him, he took the chance and pinned his arms over his head leaving him squirming beneath him. `The ginger used every ounce of power he had to flip them over pinning the panther's arms to his sides as he bit down on his lip till blood seeped out. When Ichigo let go of his lip Grimmjow bit down on his neck leaving a red mark with a trail of blood from his lip.
"What was that?" Ichigo asked between gasps of breath. "Goodbye" The panther replied making Ichigo feel even more hurt than before, giving him the hope that he was fighting for him only to have it shatter all over again. The sound of the punch Grimmjow received echoed in the field around them before Ichigo shot off him and flash stepped out of there leaving the panther lying still, hating himself for the decision he made.
